19

“Maybe it’s just a wish that she won’t ever carry through. Can’t possibly attempt. She loves her daughter; I doubt she will leave her that way. There’s no way in hell she can get hold of anything in the homestead that would aid her in taking her life. We can recover from most anything.” Colton seems to be trying to convince himself that this is an unfounded worry and that it will pas sin time as Tawna gets help.

“It takes an iron will not to turn wolf when your body is dying. Tawna is not that strong and I doubt she could overpower the survival instinct. We should put her in med bay for a few days, have Anya visit daily and let the doctor decide on the best way to help her through long term. She’s depressed and we should handle her carefully and with love and tender care.” Sierra interjects and it again drags my mind to the possibility of Tawna not being pure. Wolves don’t get depressed.

“We should bring Carmen into the sub packs communal and let them talk it out with her too, bring her back into the fold. They were her pack once and she needs more than just her mom again if she’s to find the strength to help her heal. If we have more wolves on board helping Carmen support her mom and pulling her through this dark mindset then who knows, it may help them both. Carmen will waiver if she alone bears the burden.” I suggest with a logical brain, pushing my weird messy feelings about that girl aside as my Luna heart takes over and Colton blanches at me in disbelief

“You want to let Carmen back in the sub pack? Do you need to lay down for a bit, baby?” He leans out and feels my head and I push it away with an eyeroll. Dramatic much.

“She’s one of our people and she never really left the subs… she wasn’t disengaged or tossed out. They all just left the mountain without her. She’s alone and she needs her family. I can put the past to bed, and she says she wants to. Meadow will be better with her now that she no longer has ties to you and I think when I explain some of this to Meds, she’ll agree. We look after our own and like her or not… Carmen is one of ours. She needs the emotional back up right now.”

In my heart I know this is how it needs to be. As Luna I need to put the needs of my people over my own grudges. Carmen may not ever become my best friend, but as long as she is willing to respect my position as Luna, then I can live with her among us. I don’t need to compete for the affection of my pack, my best friend, or my mate. I have them all on my own and she failed even with two years of being beside them. Carmen is just a femme in my pack now, nothing else. As long as I keep that in the forefront then I’m sure eventually my jealousy over her past with Colton will fade away.

“Maybe not having that attitude because she thought she was heading for Luna status will warm her to the pack finally. She always treated them like she was above them, because of me, maybe not anymore. It might make enough of a difference to how she gels with them again.” Colton points out and leans in fast to throw a kiss on my lips. A little ‘I’m proud of you’ with that cute boy smile that makes me melt. I can feel his happy surprise coming off in waves and affecting my own inner doubts, pushing a warm gooey feeling to relax my muscles and easy my tension.

“She needs the support. Maybe it will help her better deal with Tawna and get her past this. I think Tawna needs to learn to live without her mate and I can help her with that, be her support and mentor.” Sierra smiles weakly and I can’t help but feel the heart aching slice of pain I always get when she talks of being alone this way. Wolves are meant to mate up, it’s part of our purpose and we are never meant to be alone. She can try and hide it behind smiles as much as she likes but I can always feel her truth. Sierra lives with a broken heart every second of every day.

“Okay, with that decided, how about you two tell me how your day was. I need some mood lifting after mine. How are the new building works going? How was the school’s first day in their new home?”