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“Meadow and I… we have a plan, a possible solution to the fog, the spell. I’m sure the doctor has filled you in on yesterday’s events and where we’re at. I want you to come with us, Meadow and I. I think you may be useful, and we need the help while numbers here are not what they were. It’ll be the three of us and only a couple of days away from here in the hopes of finding a solution.” My voice is steady and low, afraid any passing wolf hears me but inside I’m a crumbling mess of doubt and insecurity. I have no idea if this is even a good plan or going to help, but we have to do something.
She gasps, in first surprise, and then eyes me up, mistrust all over her face as she thinks something through, and I can almost taste the apprehension coming from her in waves. That sharp look in her eye as her thoughts align.
“You think it will ease my sense of guilt!” She homes in on that right away, stating it bluntly with a chill in her tone and I have to pull myself rigid to not react in how well she saw through that ploy. It’s not all about easing her guilt though, it’s also about her being useful. Meadow wouldn’t have suggested her if she thought she would be a dead weight we drag along and right now; we need all the help we can get. I’m terrified about what we may face out there and won’t turn down someone with a gift like hers.
“You have gifts. Meadow vouched for your worthiness as a fighter and as we are going without guards, I think three is better than two.” I completely dodge her statement, not willing to confirm that yes, I’m worried her sense of responsibility will have a long-term effect on her and I don’t want to burden Sierra with her in our absence. She is going to have enough to deal with while we are gone and not have to babysit Carmen for fear of another wolf legging it out into the forest to end things.
“I can fight. I’m fast. I can break eardrums, glass, sometimes brains….and I want to make up for what my mother did that put us here. I brought her here. I did this. If I kept her at the mountain then … so what I’m saying is, yes. Don’t cotton pad me, I’m capable and I’m willing.” Steel determination, even tone and no hint of weakness as she locks an eye on me. Her emotion stabilizing as she regains control and I’m impressed with how coldly she states it.
“Then you would all be enchanted too. And useless. The fog hit them not long after it hit here. We think every pack in this entire area was probably caught the same way. We were not the aim; we were only part of it.” I point out, needing her to know that what her mother did was not the only cause of this.
“So, everyone…” she starts, and I cut in.
“Yes. Which is why we have to leave now, because we have a possible fix.” I turn, motioning her to follow me, but she hesitates, and I am forced to pause while she verbalizes whatever the issue is.
“Is it true…. that Sierra is a witch? That Colton’s also a ….” She trails off, her voice weakening to a whisper and she gazes almost through me, caught somewhere in her head, and I realize, despite living with all the exposed secrets all these months and making peace with them, this is all new to her. That months of getting used to this fact has normalized it into a mute topic, but for her, it’s like suddenly finding out everything you knew was wrong and she is still reeling. I don’t doubt she found out a whole lot of things recently before coming here and is still digesting it all.
“It’s true.” I look over my shoulder at her, confirming with my serious expression, and her eyes widen on me as she swallows noticeably. A sudden wave of unnatural wariness overcomes her aura.
“So, you?…. You’re a … part of them?” It’s part accusation, emphasis on the word them, a bitterness to her tone that’s cut off with a croakiness of raw emotion breaking, and a tear rolls down her cheek before she can check it. I falter because I know this reaction well and should have expected it, given what’s happened. The realization that I’m part of the enemy and the people who just ripped her mother to shreds, that I share their blood and stand before her, telling her I’m an ally and not foe. It was hard for me to digest it so many months ago and it took a while for the pack to fully accept it and stop staring at me like I was some kind of abomination at first, so I can’t even imagine what’s running through her mind as she stares at me so intensely and see’s part monster who just destroyed her world.
“I am. Mother was part, so that makes me even less, I guess. Turns out there’s a few hybrids int the Santos.” I sigh, dodging her obvious issue with this fact, really not wanting to stand and do this now and yet she surprises me with blurting out a statement I suspected but didn’t really think I would ever confirm.
“My mum was half human. It’s why she was…. weak.” The shame that overcomes her tone, flushes her cheeks red and pushes her gaze back to the ground, overwhelms me. I gasp in shock, turning back to her in time to see her dropping her chin to her chest and exhaling painfully as though letting out a long-burdened weight on her body and I wonder if this is the first time she has told anyone those words. I know being Luna means I can somehow charm her pack into confiding deepest secrets, but I truly never thought Carmen would be so willing to share something like this. I know for a fact Colton doesn’t have this in his memory banks, so she never told him at all.
“My dad was livid when he found out. He was so mad, he never touched her again, but she was already pregnant with me and he pressured her into aborting. He abhorred her for that part of her, and me, because it lives in me too and he hated the fact she defied him and kept me. Inferior…weak. Worthless. An impure hybrid with a species who is completely giftless and he was ashamed to know us at all….. I don’t even know why I’m telling you this.”
