CHAPTER 47

I look at myself in the full-length mirror that’s attached to the back of the bathroom door and appraise myself. Sexy lingerie, high heels, and beach-blown hair. My lips painted cherry red because I know Alex gets off on that if he wants me to suck his dick.

I turn and grab my phone from the vanity, turn back and take a selfie of myself. I then walk into the bedroom. Perching on the end of the bed, I cross my legs and send the photo to Alex. It’s just past one in the morning. I’m not sure if he’ll see it or not, but I hope he’s awake.

I type in a few words to follow the photo. I’m in room 4309.

You see, I didn’t get in my car and drive back to Nevada like I told Noel and Alex I was going to do. We didn’t get in until close to midnight, and they both wanted me to stay at Alexander’s so I didn’t have to drive back to Nevada. I purposely didn’t drink tonight, so they couldn’t worry about my ability to make it.

But I’d had this planned.

I was going to be with Alex tonight come hell or high water.

Pushing up from the bed, I walk over to the windows that look out at the twinkling lights of the strip. I used to hate Las Vegas, but not so much anymore.

How could I when Alex is here? When his life’s work is located right in the heart of Evil City?

The longer I look out the window, and the longer I wait for his response, the more I dwell on the things that he said to me at the restaurant.

I can’t believe Noel made that machine. He’s a fucking highly sought-after engineer who is making mechanical fuck machines. The idea repulses me as much as remembrance of riding that thing with Alex watching excites me. I want to do it again, and we haven’t in the times we’ve been back to The Sinful Night Club, because there’s been too much other stuff to explore.

My gut clenches as I remember the pain in Alexander’s voice tonight when he admitted to sending that photo to Noel. Not knowing who I was, wanting Noel to be excited about it.

I don’t let it sicken me, though. The experience with Alex was beautiful. He had no clue it was me, so it was an innocent mistake in sending it to my brother. It kills me to know that this has been weighing on him, and I really want to be with him tonight so I can reiterate that. I can’t stand the thought of him being weighed down so heavily about this.

As minutes tick by and I don’t get a response, I assume Alex is just asleep.

Or he’s ignoring you because he’s calling it quits, that stupid fucking voice in my head says slyly.

Tears spring to my eyes as I think about losing Alex, and I know I’ll do anything to prevent that. Even if it means I can never tell Noel about our relationship.

Even if it means I’ll be nothing more to him than a secret.

It’s better than nothing as far as I’m concerned. Seeing the misery on Alexander’s face and hearing the burden in his voice made it clear to me that Noel cannot know about us.

The knock on the door startles me and my heart rate accelerates. There’s no one it can be other than Alex.

I drop my phone on the chair by the window and quickly walk to the door. Taking a deep breath, I open it. He stands there… eyes crackling with pent-up frustration and lust. His gaze roams hungrily over my body, then I’m in his arms and he’s carrying me to the bed.

He’s eerily quiet as he strips the silk and satin from my body, ignoring my shoes. He pulls me to the end of the bed, drops to his knees, and eats me out like he’s starving. I shudder and cry out a quick release, but he doesn’t stop. He devours me again, going rougher. Shoving fingers in my pussy, getting them wet, and then shoving them in my ass.

I come a second time, arching into the pleasure and crying out his name.

Alex is then up, stripping his clothes off with lightning speed. I use the moment to crawl back onto the bed, my legs spread open wantonly with blatant invitation.

He takes it. Crawling up my body, raising and spreading my legs before driving into me with brutal force. It hurts and it doesn’t. I quickly adjust as he starts moving within me. That beautiful face of his awash with ecstasy. Those golden eyes locked onto mine.

For a moment, he looks down and I think it might be in shame, but it’s to further his lust. He watches his cock pounding in and out of me. I drop my gaze there, too, and it’s sensory overload as I watch him fuck me.

Alex brings a thumb to my clit, presses down on it, and I can feel the sensation from his cock on the other side of it. Three, maybe four hard strokes from Alex and I’m bursting apart again.

With glazed eyes, Alex looks back to me. His breathing harsh, his jaw locked tight. I see he’s close, then he’s pulling out of me and coming all over my stomach and breasts with a long groan of release. It’s so fucking sexy. I always feel like he’s marking me as his when he does that.

When he’s empty, he pushes his cock back into me. He moves his hips gently, tiny little shudders still coursing through both of us.

Finally, he stops moving and runs a finger through the semen on my skin. Without a word, he brings it to my mouth and rubs it on my lips. I lick after him, wanting his mellow taste on my tongue.

He smiles at me with such tenderness, my heart pulses with joy. Then he pulls out and heads into the bathroom. He returns with a wet cloth, cleans me off, and tosses it to the floor before crawling onto the mattress and pulling me into his arms.

“Is Noel asleep?” I ask him.

“I think so,” he says back quietly.

We lay together, arms wrapped tight, and I know this evening is playing on rewind in our minds. I take the moment to reassure him. “I won’t ever tell him, Alex. I promise. This is just between you and me forever. Even if you’re done with me, I’ll never tell.”

Alex squeezes me hard and mutters, “Christ, Jas… I don’t think I can ever be done with you.”

“I don’t want to be done with you, either,” I whisper.

“But you want things that—”

“Don’t say it,” I break into his thoughts urgently. “All you need to know is that I want you and that is more than I could want for anything right now.”

I trail off, not quite done telling him what I need to in order to reassure him. But there are bottled feelings inside of me, wanting to break loose, so I add on, “I love—”

Alex rears up and looks down at me with hard eyes. “Don’t you dare say that, Jas. Don’t even think it. You say that to me, and I’ll want to tell Noel. I’ll want to destroy him to have you, and you can’t put me in that situation.”

“Okay,” I tell him quickly. “Okay. I won’t tell you.”

Alexander’s eyes fill with pain, and he drops his forehead to mine. “This is so fucked up, baby. So goddamn fucked up.”

My arms go around this man I love. I love him still in all the ways I used to, and I love him more for all the things he’s given me. But I keep that inside, and I’m truly okay with not saying it to him. I don’t need to. Alexander’s reaction tells me he already knows.

His proclamation that he’d be willing to destroy his relationship with Alex also tells me he loves me, too.

I let that be enough for now.

Perhaps over time, we can come up with a way to make this work. It would deepen the lie, but maybe Alex can revisit the subject with Noel in a more old-fashioned approach. We could remold the lie and start over. He could tell Noel he wants to ask me out on a date and would like his permission.

It seems so sordid all these webs we’ve woven, but it could work. Noel would never know about me at The Sinful Night Club. He wouldn’t blame Alex for having me there.

“What are you thinking?” Alex asks as he lifts his head up and stares down at me.

“I’m thinking that you and I have a really good thing going right now,” I tell him with as much confidence as I can muster up. “It will be fine. We’ll be fine. I promise.”

The smile of relief that comes to Alexander’s face tells me that this is the right path.

For now.

“Listen,” Alex says, and I can tell by the tone of his voice he hates what he’s about to tell me. “Noel wants me to take him to The Sinful Night Club.”

My eyes flare wide as I never considered this possibility. I assumed, wrongly, that the three of us would hang out again.

Oh, God.

Oh… God.

“Jas,” Alex says urgently but I barely hear him. “I swear to you I won’t do anything. I don’t want to do anything with anyone but you.”

I try to wiggle out from his hold, but his arms lock tight around me.

“Jas,” Alex says as he brings a hand to my jaw, forcing me to turn my head to face him. “I swear to fucking God, you’ve got nothing to worry about with me. But I can’t say no to him. I promised he could talk to Ford, the owner. They want to talk business, and well… before you and I started, Noel had me promise I’d take him on his next visit. He’s already asked about it.”

“Oh, God,” I mutter out loud this time and try to pull away from Alex. His arms again lock tight, but then they immediately loosen when he hears the hysteria in my voice. “Let me go, please. I need some space.”

Alex releases me, and I roll from the bed. I feel completely vulnerable right now, so I grab my small duffle and pull out a t-shirt and panties. I quickly don them and turn to face Alex, who still sits unabashedly naked on the bed. His expression is worried as he watches me like a hawk.

I take a deep breath, and let it out. “I don’t want you going there without me.”

“I don’t want to go there without you,” Alex says, and I can hear the truth in his voice. “But I have to. It’s for one night, and I’ll fake a fucking migraine or something so he won’t expect me to participate—”

“Wait,” I practically screech. “Participate? You would participate with Noel?”

“With another woman,” he clarifies, and that makes it even worse.

“Oh, God,” I say again with a trembling voice. “I don’t think I can handle this. Have you done that before with Noel?”

“Yes,” is all he provides me.

“And he expects you tomorrow, to what?” I ask tremulously. “Fuck a woman with him?”

“He’ll expect it, but I won’t,” Alex says firmly as he rolls out of bed and comes to stand before me. God, he’s so fucking beautiful and perfect.

“It’s a lot of temptation,” I say angrily. “And let’s face it, you don’t want Noel to know about us, so why wouldn’t you do that just to make sure he’s got no suspicions?”

Damn, I know I sound completely unhinged right now, but I seriously am having a fit of jealousy so powerful I can’t seem to calm down.

“Jas,” Alex snaps at me as he takes me by the shoulders. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” I say automatically.

Well, shit… I feel that deep in my bones. I do trust him.

“Then trust me when I say, I’ll be thinking about you the entire time. I will be faithful to you. I’ll come back and when Noel is asleep, I’ll come to you in this same room and fuck some reassurance into you.”

The tears well up in my eyes, and Alex looks crushed by my reaction. He pulls me into him hard and wraps his arms around me.

“Fuck it,” he growls before pressing a hard kiss to the top of my head. “I’ll back out of it. I’ll figure a way to get Noel there without me.”

Overwhelmingly deep love courses through me for Alex, and the lengths he’d go to assuage something as stupid as jealousy.

I shake my head adamantly and pull back to look at him. “No. Don’t. I’ll be fine. I trust you.”

“I’ll do whatever you want me to, Jas.”

“Go with Noel,” I say even though I still can’t stand the thought of it. “He expects it, and we don’t want him suspicious.”

Alex pulls me back to the bed, and then makes love to me slowly. While our first fucking was all about the feelings and the orgasm, this time Alex spends an extraordinary amount of time telling me just how much he wants me, how beautiful I am, how no one compares to me.

Every word is a balm to my heart because I take it from him with the knowledge that I know he loves me. I just have to figure out how I can have him without any secrets, and not ruin his relationship with my brother in the process.