Chapter 10
“DO you still smoke?” that question from Benjamin brought Caroline back to the present. “I’m sorry to ask this, I’m just curious…”
She felt the same feeling that she had when Benjamin saved her from Paul. “So, you’ve seen me smoking in the forbidden place.”
Benjamin scratched the corner of his brow. “It just happened that one of the canteens there was my Aunt’s.”
I know… Caroline wanted to say but chose not to. She won’t reveal her craziness to him when they were in high school. “Really?” she asked instead. “Which one?”
Benjamin knotted his forehead. “I thought you knew?” he asked. “Ah, never mind. And you didn’t answer my question.”
“I dropped smoking ten years ago,” she replied shortly.
Benjamin smiled. “That’s good news,” he said, then studied her face.
Caroline blushed, she unconsciously touched her cheeks. “Don’t look at me like that.”
Benjamin chuckled. “The balloons shadowed your face,” he said and showed her his hand. The lights from the balloons reflected in their direction and formed a spectrum of colors.
Caroline looked at the line of Hot Air Balloons being lit up at the same time. It was past seven p.m, and darkness was already surrounding the field. Air Balloons stand out in the clear night sky. Her friend Hyacinth and Benjamin’s daughter Anastacia went near the balloons, while Benjamin, Antonette and her chose to just sit on their blankets while watching big balloons lit up the sky.
“Beautiful…” Caroline said in a gasp. “It’s my first time to witness such an amazing event.”
“I wish Mom is here,” she heard Antonette whispered.
Benjamin looked at his daughter, his eyes showed sadness. Caroline can see it clearly now, the lights reflected in his eyes, and it showed more than just the emotion. She can see pain and struggles. Caroline remembered what Hyacinth told her about Benjamin’s wife. She wanted to ask him, but a small voice at the back of her mind was telling her not to.
“Antonette!” Anastacia waved at her sister. “Come here! You have to see this!”
Antonette shook her head. “I’m not interested.”
Benjamin nudged her daughter’s shoulder. “Go on, I know you wanted to have photographic memories of those balloons.”
Antonette hesitated a moment, but when the special light effects that come from the multi-colored Air balloons started to cast the ground, she stood up and dashed towards her sister's direction. They both brought their phones out and captured the best shots of the lit-up balloons.
“Won’t you join them?” Benjamin asked her. He stretched his legs and lie down on the blanket. “It’s a long day.”
“It is…” Caroline murmured, her eyes were still focused on the balloons.
“You know, I keep my promise to you,” Benjamin suddenly said. His baritone voice was penetrating her spines. “And, I really didn’t expect that I could see you again, Caroline.”
Caroline’s heart started to beat fast. Did Benjamin know? She asked in her mind. After that terrible incident, Caroline didn’t go to school for almost a week. Her Aunt Isabelle, who was her guardian by that time, didn’t even notice that she wasn’t going to school. The old maid was so busy worrying about her ovaries that she didn’t have time to check on her only niece. Her friend Skye called in their house to ask the reason for her absences, through her, Caroline found out that Paul was kicked out in their school because of Marijuana possession. She was relieved by that news and thought that Benjamin kept his promise, or maybe he didn’t recognize.
She resumed her schooling the day after her friend called her. But Caroline changed, she isolated herself from her classmates, and even from Skye. She avoided them and lived her high school life as a loner. Caroline knew that it was the best for her. Because if her classmates, especially Skye, found about that scandal, they will avoid her like she’s a criminal, shunned her in their circle, and forget her existence. Caroline thought it will be better if she’ll let herself get used to being alone so that it won’t hurt that bad if those people do it to her.
“Promise? What are you talking about?” Caroline’s chest tightened. So, all this time, Benjamin knew that it was her? No, it can’t be. Maybe she’s just over-thinking again.
Benjamin didn’t answer and remained silent. Caroline held her breath as seconds passed by. But Benjamin didn’t speak. Caroline wondered why. She breathed some air before she forced herself to look at him. With the darkfield being lit up by flame-operated balloons, noises from camera shutters, and people talking loudly and excitedly, Benjamin found his best time to sleep and steal some rest under the night sky.
Caroline watched Benjamin’s chest rose up and down, his rhythmic breathing was a sign that he was already dreaming. She shifted closer to him, to see him more closely and smell his scent. Caroline wanted to touch his face, trace his thick brows to the bridge of his sharp nose, and to the corner of his lips. Caroline swallowed as she stares at his mouth. What does it feel if it captures her mouth? If those lips kissed her neck down to her clavicle? What does it feel like being rained with kisses by his lips? Caroline gazed down at his broad chest and muscular arms and imagined herself being imprisoned by it. His large hands with long fingers, how does it feel if those hands caressed her skin, knead her breasts, traced her stomach down to her core? How does it feel if those fingers teased her aching tip? Or, play with her pearl while the other was dipped in her dampness?
Caroline stopped her imagination when her eyes reached the bulge of his fly. Caroline heaved a sigh. She was still crazily into him. When she entered college, Caroline thought that her affection for Benjamin was just pure infatuation. And, if she won’t see him every day, her feelings for him will fade and be lost forever. She forgot about him as years passed, not because he was out of sight but also because of struggles and nightmares that kept haunting her.
“But I was wrong, Benjamin…” Caroline murmured. She reached to caress his downy hair. “I did forget about you, but my feelings for you are still here, best kept in my heart.”
***
