A reason to be afraid

Blaire:

I didn't know what to expect the moment I let myself swallow my fate and pride and knock on the door.

But I definitely did not expect the next line of words that had just left his mouth to actually come from him. His tone was anything but soothing and harmless; rather, it set free the panic in my chest.

I was turning white just by hearing his approaching steps, which did nothing but quicken my heart rate.

However, now I could barely breathe properly because he was standing right before me with his husky voice sifting through my ears. I tightened my grip on the warm handle, which had now turned cold at my nervousness, as he gently trailed a finger down my face with intense eyes, boring a hole in my soul.

When the door opened to reveal the man behind my anxiety, he stood casually behind it with his eyes blinking at me. His jet-black hair was sitting on his shoulder in tousled waves, framing his chiseled face that stared at me. The strong scent of sandalwood and masculinity sitting in the air wafted through my nose, making me grow weak in the knees.

What was he doing? I was growing panicked by the second. I wanted nothing more than to back away and make a run for the hills. He was very confusing, and it scared me because all the while I've been in his pack, all he's done is act like I didn't exist, and now?

Suddenly, he called me mate? Unbelievable.

I was yet to recover from the shock that clouded my heart and the confusion that was swimming in my head. I wanted so badly to back away from him and run back to Sue, throw myself on her feet, and cry till she swapped me with someone else because I couldn't do this.

I was sure I wasn't going to survive being around him until he decided to change me, and obviously, trying to purposely get him to get annoyed with me and change me by doing everything wrong was not an option. I pictured him strangling me on the spot; if he wasn't going to, I was sure Fuyu definitely would. Both males were very dangerous.

But that wasn't entirely the only reason I wanted to be as far away from him as possible. The shivers that creeped down my spine at his husky voice, eye contact, and touch freaked me out. Despite being a devil, he was still responsible for the many nights I awoke drenched in sweat and with an ache between my legs as my dreams were filled with him doing very obscene things to me.

I gulped as my racing heart was yet to calm down, and I knew it wouldn't do that till I was as far away from him as possible. His aura was something else, and it was messing with my senses.

"Hera, I don't like this one bit." I frantically rushed out.

Hera poked her head at me with a brow tilted, "What's there not to like? Isn't he our mate?"

I sighed, hating how her senses got blinded at the mere mention of him. I needed her to still have her eyes open and alert and not be fawning over him. I needed her to still remember how he'd been treating us. For goodness sake, he had me whipped. He could have stopped it, but he didn't.

Thinking about it now, I didn't know how to feel when I remembered I was pregnant when that happened. I had lost a lot of blood, so how didn't I have a miscarriage? I recoiled from entertaining such thoughts. Like Hera had said, the children were innocent. I shouldn't rope them into the hatred I feel for their father.

I peeked over his shoulders into his room. It was dim as usual, with no curtains opened. I swallowed, dreading that I'd have to walk into that lion's den to serve his food and wait till he was done eating so I could start cleaning. Speaking of it, he was supposed to give me an orientation on how he liked his room cleaned and other preferences.

He moved away from me, taking steps into the room to stand inches away from me, his eyes peering at my short self from his tall stance. Tingles spread in my body just by staring at him, my body missing the close contact. I sighed because my body was bound to react to him in such a way because he was still my mate, with the mate bond still lingering, waiting to be completely severed by my acceptance of his rejection.

I batted my lashes as I involuntarily swept a gaze down his exposed chest, having to suck in my breath at how toned his chest was. My eyes paused at the white band that peered through the band of his shorts, his sharp V-line ending where the band began.

I wondered why I never accepted his rejection, despite the hell he'd put me through. Now that I was pregnant, I wasn't supposed to just think about myself. I owed it to the babies in my womb to at least try with him. I wanted my children to have a father and a home. I didn't want my children to be looked upon as bastards. It would shatter my heart because no one deserved to live with a horrible title like that.

My thoughts steered away from the sad thoughts I was plunging myself into, falling on the toned abdominal muscles gazing at me. I blinked at his chiseled V-line that suggestively led down to his pants.

I inhaled sharply, remembering what he had restrained behind his pants. Something forbidden, something so sinful, and now my body itched to see it again. It annoyed me how my body could betray my fear and dislike for him so easily. I wasn't supposed to be harboring such thoughts.

"We are his mates; it's only natural to respond to him like that whenever you're around him, especially as the pregnancy advances." Hera said.

"It appears the only thing on your mind is that man. Have you forgotten what he did to us?" At this point, I had to ask.

Hera shook her head negatively. "You don't understand, do you?" She stared at me blankly.

"Understand what?" I asked.

"Your body is not only reacting to the mate bond but to his pheromones as well. He's a high-ranking male, so as a result of this, his pheromones are extremely intense. What you're also experiencing is your body totally submitting to him; your mind will soon." She explained.

I was struggling to wrap my head around what she had just told me. Total shock was an understatement of what I was feeling. Submission? Pheromones? What?

"What does that mean?" I asked Hera.

Hera squinted at me and, with a sigh, stood up, gently exiting into the dark corners of my mind.

I could not believe this wolf. She was going to let me figure it out myself. Not only that, was she leaving me to face this man alone? Urgh!

"Are you just going to stand there? I don't like my food cold, just so you know." His words were calm, yet that didn't stop shivers of fear from running through my spine.

I took a deep breath and rolled the trolley into his room. I paused when I had taken a few steps, wishing that the light would at least be switched on. The darkness was intoxicating and definitely set the wrong mood with someone as intense as him present.

I figured he loved to dwell in darkness because the first time we had met, he had taken me to a dark room, only turning on a red light for a second before immersing me in total darkness.

My body was trembling no matter how hard I tried to stay strong, and now I let out my fear and unease. I literally felt like prey standing in a lion's den.

"Um… c-can I switch on the light?" I really couldn't see a thing.

Silence gripped the room for a minute before I felt his presence behind me and heard his deep voice rasp in my ear, "no."

A very simple word sounded so wicked and immoral coming from him. The way he breathed out the word and his presence behind me made the hair on my skin stand.

I wanted to get out of here as soon as fucking possible. I didn't understand what was happening to me anymore. How could I be fighting with everything in me to not get aroused? Was I even supposed to be getting turned on?

What was he doing to me?

"Less standing and more serving, love." He whispered while feathering a finger down my neck.

I bit into my bottom lip, struggling not to feel affected by how he was toying with my sensitive body. Willing my legs to take a step away from him, I managed to draw in a shaky breath.

I closed my eyes, summoning the courage to do my work and get over it. After all, the sooner I served him, the sooner he finished, and I got to start cleaning and then fucking leave.

I bent, taking off the bronze cover that kept the food on the platter safe. I served the black tea, looking around for a table. I finally found what felt like a table, placed it on it, and felt my way back to the trolley since I was having difficulty seeing.

Goodness, this would be so much easier if he could just turn on the lights. My wolf's eye wasn't working either because I couldn't feel Hera's presence. I figured she was sleeping somewhere in my subconscious. Just great.

I finally managed to finish serving the food, proud of myself for not tripping over anything. But my celebration was short-lived when I heard his voice say,

"I want my tea. Give it to me."

If this was what Karla was going through, then she was rather suffering. Working for him was mentally draining, and I hadn't even done this job for close to an hour, and here I was already feeling messy.

I swallowed my disdain and felt around for the table, hissing when my foot collided with something. Trying to recover from the pain, I tripped again, this time hearing something get knocked down.

My anxiety soared. I had broken something. "Alpha, I-uh I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to." I had to apologize. What scared me more was that I didn't know what I had broken, but it sounded like glass.

I heard London hum, saying nothing.

"My tea? I want it placed on my hand."

His tea? Did I knock it down? I began feeling around for where I had kept this tea. My nerves were close to rupturing from the frustration that was going to kill me. Would it kill him to turn on the lights, for goodness sake? Why wouldn't he save me this unnecessary stress?

I finally felt the hot cup and gently picked it up with the spoon I had placed on the saucer the cup was sitting on. I could tell he was sitting on the bed; my ears, at least, are working right.

I fell on my knees, reasoning that it would be easier to feel around for him and not crash into anything this way. Feeling my hands around, I felt something that I figured was his leg and began feeling my way up.

He was so quiet. I could barely hear his breaths, despite having acute hearing. I felt sparks go off in my body as I touched him. My body shuddered at having to feel him.

"Alpha, can you at least tell me where your hand is?"

I got silence as a reply. I moved my hands around, dragging them further up. I could feel eyes burning into me with such intensity, and I wanted nothing but to shrink away from the overwhelming presence. I was becoming a nerve wreck, and I knew he could hear my frantically beating heart.

My fingers brushed against something, and I gulped. It was so turgid and twitchy as my fingers felt around, just to be certain. I could feel what I figured were his thighs. Moving my fingers back, they brushed against the hard stuff again, and I immediately pulled away with a gasp.

If those were his thighs, then what I had just felt was his...

"I-I'm so sorry, A-Alpha." I breathed out, heavy with panic.

I could barely breathe. A weird sensation traveled down south, and I could feel liquid pooling around me. The feeling of his member lingered in my hand. I was scared yet getting aroused from feeling his thick, hardened member, recalling how it had twitched underneath my palm.

My mind did a takeback. Hard? London was hard. Why?

"You really shouldn't touch a man like that, no?" I heard his deep voice rasp.

Fuck the tea I was serving him; I was getting out of here before he ate me alive.

I heard the cup crash on the floor as I desperately tried to scramble away from him. I had barely moved an inch when I felt a presence hover above me. I felt him stand over me, caging me with his legs as he lowered himself to squat at my level.

I really wished I could see him; this darkness was fucking with me. I could feel his gaze on me, and it was actually setting me on fire, adding more flames to my scattered brain and flying thoughts.

I felt a hand trail all the way down the valley of my breasts over my thin material. My heartbeats could be heard over the silence, and my body was trembling.

"Are you aroused, mate?" I could hear amusement in his voice.

News flash, I wasn't the only one aroused here. I could still remember his hard dick twitching a few minutes ago, which made me almost roll my eyes at him.

I could barely hear his heart beat, but I could feel him pulling away from me with a deep chuckle.

"Clean up this mess, and next time, try not to knock down my meal again." He said this as he moved away from me.

I heard his steps in the room, followed by the door opening and closing. I finally let out the breath of unease that I'd been holding all along. I could feel sweat all over my face from the burning heat his presence brought. He was a very complicated man, and that fact would never change.

I thought back to what he had said, and I had no idea why the last line sounded very wicked in my ears.

"Oh, dear goddess, if you really care about me, please find a way to get me out of this."