Chapter 9 Uncertain Feelings

Elena Davis,

The feeling of falling into a cold pond wakes me up from my deep sleep. I jerked up on my bed with dripping wet hair and dress, wondering about what happened to me? Calming my raced heart, I started checking my condition. As my gaze rose upwards from my covers, I knew I needed to write my will as Patty was standing with an empty bucket and a face which only reminded me of death. She was breathing visibly with her red and razor sharp gaze, making me wonder the reason for her volcanic anger. Did Tom do something? I don’t think so; maybe I had done something wrong.

The flash of kissing Mr. Accardo crossed my mind, which froze my world. Touch of his rough lips still lingering on my mouth, his taste is fresh in my mind. The way he was pulling me more into him; trying to blend me in with him, making me feel every skin he could do that time.

I float far, far away with him in that magnificent feeling, hearing his beating heart of the palm and his intoxicating trails of kisses on my neck and lips exploring every depth I ever excited. What he did to me, I crossed every limit with him. I had to doubt my own feelings about him? His every touch on my skin, reminding me of him at every breath I am taking now, the feeling of his arms around me, his smell, his taste, will make me go mad one day.

Every cell of my skin made me rebel against me like they weren’t me, they were making me feel like I am a part of him. This is all too much to bear for a poor soul like me. This unfamiliar crowd of emotions is nothing less than a suffocation for me; I am experiencing trapped inside me. How can I feel that with him? He is my boss, it’s completely unprofessional. All the memories from last night’s memories were flooding my mind.

“Why the fuck you didn’t tell me before?” Roaring sound of patty made me come out of his daze into reality. He threw the bucket in the room’s corner in anger.

“What I didn’t tell you before?” I questioned as I don't know what she was asking about. She gave me a nasty look and sat down on the bed with a loud thump.

“About your boss,” he reminded me. I think I need good advice right now. Is she thinking that I have a crush on him?

“NO NO NO. I don’t have a crush on him.” I opposed and shook my head in a negative way.

“DO YOU THINK I AM MAD?” she yelled angrily, throwing pillows at me.

“Ok ok, I have but a tiny one.” She stopped as I confessed my crush on him.

“Then why do you look so confused about it?” She pleaded with me, giving me a pill and a glass of water. I took pills.

“Because, I am. I don’t know why I kissed him back? He is attractive, but he is also my boss.” I confessed everything with hesitation.

“The fundamental question is why did he kiss me? I mean, I know that we both are physically attracted to each other. He always tries to scare me with his closeness, but he never crossed his limits like last night.” Not only mine but his actions are also very confusing to me. He clearly knew that I was drunk, but still he kissed like there would not be sunrise again.

His green eyes were holding a softness for me which I never saw before and they were holding the pleasure of heaven, the happiness of finding something. I still remember the way they were shining like a moon in the dark sky, having a power to fade my whole universe in them for him. His hands were moving around me like he was claiming me, wanting me, but I felt his urgency, the need of me in him. He had the same dark aura around him, but this time it was so appealing that I wanted to get lost in that.

“What happened afterwards?” I asked her, getting up from my bed.

“Nothing. He brought you here, he didn’t even allow me or Tom to touch you. He is so bossy, how do you survive around him?” he scuffled at her memory.

“Alright, I need to get ready for the office.” He nodded and started walking out of my bedroom.

“Breakfast will be on the table.” She told me and left the room.

I got ready and completed my daily morning routine. Whatever that was, it's not important as I was drunk, nothing counts. I don’t want to be his one of whore, which he parades every day. It was a mistake and I will not repeat it at any cost. Taking my keys and purse, I got near my parking lot and drove to the office as a pile of files was waiting for me.

I started working in my office instead of his, as he always forces me to work in front of him like I am a traitor or something. My decision to ignore him must go smoothly or it will ruin everything in the near future. I will act like last night never happened to us. We never kissed. He didn’t kiss you magically.

Remember this, El. This won’t be hard to conduct and it will be professional too. I just have to avoid any close contact with him and the most important thing, don’t look in his eyes. It won’t be that difficult to follow a few rules in his presence, otherwise I will end up becoming one of his regular whores.

It's past noon and I didn’t report to him about our meeting tomorrow's meeting, it’s very important for the company. I think he read the mail I sent him and started working on it as I have received no further orders from him. It’s good that if he responds and works on it, I can send my future work through mail with no need to go in front of him. Ahhh, I have decided not to think about him, but why am I just thinking about him? This is so frustrating.

I cannot concentrate on work; I should take a few minutes of break and should start back soon. Getting up, I went to the top floor of the building to get some air. It is a sunny day but partly cloudy too. The warm wind is blowing at a little higher speed than usual , but I liked it very much.

I walked towards the parapet of the building and peeped down from there. As expected, it was beautiful. Blowing air just makes my heart full of energy and I forget about all worry, work tension. I should have come here before, it is so peaceful here.

“Is this for I pay you?” I startled as I heard his toneless mockery directly in my ears. I was hesitant to turn around, but when I partially turned around, I tripped on the network of pipes. My hand involuntarily went towards him to catch something which regains my balance, but he slid his one hand around my waist and jerked me towards him as my head bumped on his hard muscular chest. Don’t look in his eyes. Don’t look in his eyes, El. This is the only thing I was chanting in my mind and heart to avoid further conflicts.

“No, sir.” At least I said something in my hardened breathing while keeping my head down. I tried to push him, and for my good luck, he allowed me to. Thank god, he left me or didn't know what he was going to do? Was I expecting him to hold me near his heart? NO, absolutely not.

“NEVER CALL ME THAT.” I flinched at his sudden roar and took a few steps back. What’s wrong with this man? Oh, I know. Everything is wrong with him. I nodded at him.

“Use your sweet, kissable mouth to speak.” He spoke in his usual toneless voice, making my mouth drop on the floor. He smirked in arrogance as my head jerked at him. His eyes were only holding a mischievous look with something I never saw before, but it’s making his eyes sparkle at corners and it looked petrified with his crooked, sinister smile. Shit!! I have decided not to look into his eyes.

“No, Mr. Accardo.” I spat again, looking downward.

“Then what were you doing here? Is everything ready for tomorrow’s meeting?” he hissed badly, taking a step towards me and I could ask you the same Mr. Scissor mouth.

“Not yet, but I will complete it soon.” I totally ignored his first question. He put both his hands in his pocket and stood like a mountain in front of me, dominating me. He is waiting to listen to my further answer, which I didn’t want to speak.

“I came here to get some fresh air as I couldn’t concentrate on work.” I answered and took a step back again to meet a parapet wall instead.

“Is my kiss bothering you?” he swaggered and again took a step towards me just leaving two step distance between us. Pride was flooding in his eyes and words making me cringe in place.