Together

Nate

Sitting on the bed, and thinking about what I just said to myself in front of the mirror. Coming to this conclusion was not easy, there are so many things that imply, but it is very clear. It's no use hiding it from myself, Will came into my life and settled in my mind, and also in my heart. This is a fact!

I think about the times I turned Mali away, because I thought about Will and the possibility of kissing him, during the shooting of scenes for episode five, and how completely thirsty I was for a kiss from him that day. I think about how weird I felt, thinking I did something wrong, and I happen to remember what I heard from my uncle Khalan, that he would never stop loving his husband, who is in Japan on business, because society thinks he can not.

My uncle is right. I was wrong. Will made me see that it wasn't because of the novel, the series, anything... Just me and my feelings for him. Everything he told me in the mall parking lot, when he asked to kiss me, when I came back to kiss him in his car, his flirtation in the elevator that almost drove me crazy, the sexual tension looming over us after he said there was no more room. in your heart, because it was already filled. He even had the kiss in my bedroom, and lastly, the hot, hot scene in the restaurant bathroom.

Everything I felt, I feel. There's nothing more to deny...

— Nate, you're in love with Will!

I'd like to talk to him, but his phone is off, Will must be mad at me, and rightfully so. I get up, grab my guitar from an armchair by the window. I sit down and start strumming some tune. I remember a melody composed some time ago, which has no lyrics, I need to get it out, my head is full of feelings, sensations, and Will.

I get up again, walk over to the armchair again, next to her on the study table, open the drawer, and pull out a notebook. My old notebook of compositions and notes, I take a pen and sit on the bed. When I think about the beginning of everything, I don't remember exactly how, or in what period, it started. I take the notebook and write:

“I don't know when it started,

When you came into my life,

I still can't figure it out,"

I stop for a while, and think: What do I want with him? What does he awaken in me? Is it reciprocal? Were we meant to meet?

“I don't know what attracted us,

All I know is that you're in my heart,

I know we fell in love, that's what matters..."

I remember when he was here in my room for the first time, and Mali suddenly appeared, the way she spoke, as if she wanted to blame Will for something. I was so angry with her for talking to him like that, and then I was sure there was no point in prolonging it, the relationship had come to an end, and if I didn't end it, maybe today she would be between us, deceiving herself, and I wasting the three of them. .

“I don't want anyone to come between us,

I want to be by your side,

Now I know it wasn't a mistake,

It is true, and reciprocal…”

Thinks Nate, what else can you describe about how you feel about Will? What do you really want with him?

“And now I know what that feeling is,

That's why I want to be by your side,

I think from the start we were meant to be together.”

Seriously, Nate? Destined to be together? I'm sure Will would say that! Everything on the show is about us being together, that's what's been happening outside of it too. Come to think of it, if one of us hadn't been cast in the series, would we have met?

[...]

The melody matched the lyrics I wrote perfectly, it just needs a few tweaks, and as I play it again, someone knocks on the door. The beat is insistent and along with it a familiar voice asks me something.

— Son, open the door! — what is she going to tell me? She's probably going to scold me.

I walk to the door and open it. She looks at me with a questioning look. I sit on the bed, she does the same.

— What was there? Why did you leave like that?

— Nothing, nothing happened, I just wasn't feeling well! I say without looking at her.

— Do not lie to me! I know you're lying, and as grumpy as you are, you would never do it. Tell me what happened, I won't blame you!

— I already told you, nothing happened!

— You lie badly. I look at her, she sighs slightly, and then says something to me. - You know son, if the problem is Will, I support what you feel for him!

— How do you support what I feel? What do you mean by that?

— Nate, I'm not an idiot. Since the day you arrived saying that your co-star was an amazing person, and listed so many qualities of Will, that that caught my attention. You were never one to praise anyone, not a friend, not a girlfriend...

— But mother...

— I had proof the day Mali walked into your room, I saw how you defended Will. You weren't defending a friend, you were defending someone you liked. Then you broke up with her, and since then I see how airy you've been, I talk to you, and it looks like you're not here! She says and I stare at the floor.

— I've never liked a guy before, and it scares me!

— Ah son, I learned by living with your uncle and some friends from the hospital, that love has no gender, loving someone doesn't depend on it. Don't be afraid, or ashamed of what you feel, and don't repress your feelings!

— You don't see any problem if I start dating him?

— I don't see any problem with that! I just want you to be happy, and if Will is going to make my son happy, I don't care that he's a boy!

— Serious? Aren't you kidding me?

— No wonder I nicknamed Will my boyfriend, or rather, your boyfriend!

— You're the best mom in the world, you know that? — I say, and hug her affectionately.

— I know! Have you told him how you feel? Because he's got a crush on you, isn't he? — She breaks away from my embrace and asks something.

— You know mom, while I was trying to fake what I felt, he flirted, and today I acted like a jealous idiot who didn't have the courage to admit how I feel to him, and I don't know what he's going to say to me when he tells...

— He might be angry that you left him there without explaining anything, but in that case, just one sentence and everything will be resolved…

— What phrase?

— Will, I'm in love with you!

[...]

I had an intense night, my mind seemed to collapse. I just thought about what it would be like to meet him, and tell him everything, and what would he say? Thinking about all this, I barely slept, I got up early so I could get to the recording set as soon as I called and he didn't answer me. Will arrived late, something he doesn't usually do. I tried to approach him but I didn't succeed, he just ignored me the whole time. Unfortunately that was my reality for the next two days, I tried to get closer, and he would always make something up, and walk away after recording.

Today we have recordings of some important scenes for the series. Thirasak will confess to Wanchai that he doesn't want to be a fake boyfriend, but the real one. We spent the entire day at Chulalongkorn University, but specifically in the Faculty of Science building, where most of the scenes take place. It was an intense, tiring day, and in the late afternoon, the director called us after the rehearsal, which was not very easy, saying all those words, confessing what my character feels to someone who awakens so many feelings in me.

P'Tan calls us, and explains exactly the scene markings, the movement that Mark and Will and I will have to make. We shot twice the scene where Mark's character tries to stroke Wanchai's hair, and I push him away. In the sequence, the Wanchai drags Thirasak to the other corridor of the college, and there he confronts him, and demands that he clarify everything that has been happening between them in the last few days. This last part, our director explains exactly how it will be.

— The Wanchai pulls Thirasak by the arm, and let's go. You are facing each other. Wanchai wants Thirasak to clarify everything, as he thinks he has been tricked.

Both me and Will just nodded in agreement. We position ourselves, P'Tan authorizes. Will does exactly as the headmaster tells him to, he pulls me by the arm, and then lets go, we're facing each other.

— What is your problem?

— You let him stroke your head!

— That's none of your business! — That one hurt, Will! — You've been lying to me all this time, and you're demanding something?

— What did I lie to you about, Wanchai?

— About you already knowing me since high school, and pretending you never saw me here at the University. Was it fun for you to make a fool of me? There is?

— I didn't hide it just to play with your feelings.

— Why did you do it then?

— Because I really wanted to hit on you from the start...

He stares at me a little disconcerted.

— That's a lie!

I step forward and press my lips to his. But the kiss is not the one described in the script, I give light kisses on his lips, and I'm not alone, Will also reacts to the kiss using his tongue to meet mine. I hear a voice in the distance saying “Cut”. Will pulls away, and stares at me with an intense gaze, he licks his lips and it makes me want to kiss him even more. I take a deep breath and look to the side.

— What were those guys? The description of the kiss is in the script, I don't understand anything now! Our director's voice sounds a little irritated.

— Sorry P'Tan, I didn't notice that part properly, I think I missed it! — I say trying to fix the mistake I made.

— So let's just redo the kiss part, and continue the rest of the scene! Action!

I step forward once more after he says Thirasak was lying, I desperately press my lips to his, the kiss is not reciprocal, unfortunately that's what the script says to do. I let go of his lips. I hold his face, and I have to say something.

— Just for you, I've liked you since high school, but I didn't have the courage to get close, you were always surrounded by people, and I saw in your request to pretend we were boyfriends an opportunity to get really close, and hit on you, understand?

— If that's true, why did you refuse to help me from the start?

— How could I start, you said you liked someone, and even if I told you, you would reject me. I posted that picture on IG, just so you know, because even if you didn't ask me to be your fake boyfriend, you would never be a stranger to me. I say and we keep staring at each other, and this doesn't feel like a scene from the show, it feels like real life.

— Why did you walk away? I missed you....

— I didn't talk to you, I didn't go to see you, I did what you asked. I thought I could handle it. But when I saw you with someone else, I don't think I can stop pretending, or keep myself away from you...

— Do you think i can? Since the day you walked away, my life has never been the same. Whatever I did, wherever I went, you were there. Even in my dreams, you were there. I don't want you to stay away from me, Thirasak! He says, takes a deep breath, and responds.

— I can't pretend to be with you anymore, and I also don't want to be away from you, and I don't want to be your fake Date, I want to be more than a friend, I want to be your real boyfriend...

— I want to be your boyfriend too! — he says, and my heart races, it feels like it's going to come out of my mouth.

I close the distance between us, and the words I speak reflect what I feel at that moment. I stroke her hair, look deeply into her eyes, and say something I shouldn't at this moment.

— I really wanted to tell you this, and it's not from the script... I'm in love with you, Will!