Know that this is not my first time

Nate

Dating a man has become a different experience than I am used to. I feel dependent on him in a way that I have never felt before for any girl, and this sometimes makes me a little insecure, and unlike me, Will seems more sure of himself, is always fun, affectionate, and emanates a light that radiates through where he goes. This light infected me and made me review concepts, feelings that I didn't know before, or didn't realize, besides losing the fear of showing what I feel, this has always been a problem for me, no matter how much I liked someone, I couldn't show what I felt. Will came into my life and messed up my mind, my heart, and today I don't recognize myself, and I feel grateful to be with him.

I don't like hidden dating, I would like to expose our dating. It's not like I have competition, but it bothers me how many men and women shamelessly hit on him, and when I saw that idiot looking at him like he was a juicy piece of meat, plus the way he was addressing my boyfriend, it was enough to make me very nervous, and I only didn't do something stupid and expose us because of Will. But that was just the tip of the iceberg, there was still that damned breakup scene to leave me vulnerable, and the icing on the cake came with the comments of that infernal tag, #Natenaoquereuquero. What do people have in their heads? Shit?

Will is not an object, a juicy dish, or your whatever... Did this make me jealous? Yes, I won't lie, but the worst was some comments saying that I was not worthy to be next to him as a scene colleague, and that I only became famous because of Will, that I was nothing before him, and that I took advantage of his brilliance. Did that make me feel bad? Yes, and it left me with a vulnerability that I had never experienced before. I only felt better when I saw Will in my room, hugging me and telling me the right words to dispel all the negative feelings that had settled in my mind.

Everything was accompanied by a kiss that made me too hot, and made me invite him to sleep with me, as well as reminding him of the "relay".

— Of course I do! — brings his mouth close to my ear. — There's something else starting to stand up, here!

He looks at me with his most cynical smile, I run my tongue lightly over my lips, and smile.

— Really? How interesting... — my lips touch his, I bite lightly, let go, and stare at him. — So, go take a shower, get ready for our game, and I'll wait for you there, on the bed!

— Are you saying these things to make me nervous?

— No," I say, unbuttoning his shirt and maintaining eye contact. My hand caresses his chest, and I pass my tongue between my lips, and kiss his mouth lightly once more.

[...]

I have felt a mixture of horniness and nervousness since the day he said he would like to try it, it's like a new "first time". It is not as if I have never done it before, but this time it is different, it is with someone I love very much, so my concern is greater, because I don't want to disappoint him, I hope he feels pleasure. This reminds me of our first time, the concern that he had for me, all the affection, both the first and second time, Will did his utmost to make me feel comfortable, and I want to reciprocate in the same way.

After a delay, more than usual, the door opens, and my heart races. Stay calm, Nate! An involuntary smile forms on my lips, I look toward the door and am met with his infectious smile, his body covered by a robe. I just watch as he approaches the bed, and sits down beside me. My concern is probably on my face.

— You seem nervous...

— Your impression.

— Are you sure? You're not thinking about all that nonsense that made you upset? Or are you?

— No Will, I'm not thinking about anything!

— Speak up, Nate! — I can't seem to hide anything from him anymore.

— I want to do the best for you, I don't want to hurt you, and I...

— Stop it, I know it will work out! Now, could you throw away this fear, and this insecurity that has dogged you all day, and kiss me, please!

He uses his most cynical look at me, and I can't resist, I advance to him and take his mouth with desire, but Will stops the kiss, I open my eyes and don't understand what he wants. He gets up, still using the same cynical look, takes off his robe and throws it on the floor, then lies down beside me, I get rid of my towel and lie on top of him.

[...]

With each kiss, touch, and every time I hear his moans I feel my cock getting harder, and the desire to bury myself inside him only increases, and to make me even more horny, he asks me to caress the place I most desire at this moment. It doesn't take long before I slowly insert my finger, and I watch him stir in bed, grab the sheet and call my name.

I slowly insert one more finger, and then the other, and my boyfriend becomes extremely breathless, and grabs my hair. I kiss his mouth, our kiss is so intense, and at the same time he kisses me, Will moans, and this pleases me immensely, until I pull away so that he can touch his cock. With each movement of my fingers inside him, and his, I notice that he is panting more, and it doesn't take long before he finally comes.

I withdraw my fingers and look at it. How beautiful he is! I have never been so impressed with someone's beauty as I am with him. He looks at me, smiles.

— Come on, Kitten!

If he only knew how crazy I get when he calls me that. Ever since the first time he called me Pussycat, I went crazy about it, I just didn't want to admit it. I put on the condom and lie on top of him again. I take his mouth in eagerly, and my tongue meets his, and I remember that this was the first delicious thing Will made me feel in our first kiss. I feel him spread his legs wider, and I understand his message to me. My cock touches his entrance, and slowly works its way in, and I look at him to see if I can continue, and he just clings to my hair, and his moans are intense.

— May I continue, Bunny?

— Must!

I continue, and kiss his lips intensely, move down to his neck, his chest, and back to his mouth, and stop and look at his face.

— Can I move around? Are you feeling well?

— It's okay, just take it slow... Okay?

— All right!

I do as he asks, and at the same time I kiss his mouth, and then devote my tongue to his nipples, and his moans become more intense, and this makes me want to increase the speed of my movements, but I am afraid of hurting him. I stop my caresses, and face him again.

— What's up, baby? — he just shakes his head. — Can I go harder?

— You can!

Permission gladly accepted. I feel his legs wrap more around my hips as I intensify my movements, and he moans louder. It went on like this for quite a while, until he asked me to slow down, as it was causing pain. I stop moving, and ask.

— Do you want me to stop? We can continue later, and...

He smiles, caresses my face, kisses my mouth lightly and says something.

— No need to give it a rest, we can go on now! We can change positions, and you can go slowly until the pain subsides...

— Are you sure?

— I do. — he laughs, and then adds. — Just so you know, this is not my first time...

— What? What do you mean? — I ask with the perplexity that is probably stamped on my face. — You said you've never done this before, and it's not looking like that!

— Easy Pussycat! After that day we almost did it at my house, I bought a vibrator and decided to try it out...

— You mean I was all worried about not hurting you, and you betray me with a dildo? — I ask with fake indignation, as he bursts into laughter. — You laugh because it wasn't you, you cheater! — I say and get off him, laying down beside him.

He turns to my side, holds me by the waist and says something.

— What a jealous boyfriend I have arranged! — kisses the curve of my shoulder, lightly bites the tip of my ear, and continues. — He's so cute when he's not really angry!

— I am not angry with lies!

He lies back down where he was, and asks me.

— Are you going to continue with lie rage, or are you going to come here to continue what you started?

He is teasing me as usual, I need to continue this teasing.

— Maybe...

— That's fine. You stay there with your "maybe", and I'll get my vibrator and finish this myself!

— Ah... You really won't! — I say, and lie back under him, devouring his mouth and squeezing his thigh, and fitting myself inside him again.

[...]

Every time I move in and out of him, I feel like I'm on cloud nine. The moans, the sweat, the skin contact, the smell. All of this is a dominant factor in making me realize how complete we are. He lets out a louder moan when I lightly bite his shoulder, face him, and he gives me a new command.

— Faster, Kitten!

— Are you sure? — I ask, and he just shakes his head.

His request is an order. My movements are faster, and I feel that I am close, but I don't know if he is too.

— Baby, are you close? — I ask, continue my movements, and feel one of his hands grip his cock tighter in an unrestrained up and down.

Our lovemaking comes to an end when Will releases all of his accumulated hard-on in the form of liquid, carrying a loud groan. It doesn't take long for it to happen to me as well. I pull out of him, throw the condom on the side of the bed, and lie down next to him. I look at him, who is still panting heavily. I stroke his hair, and he directs his gaze at me.

— Are you okay, Bunny? — just shakes his head, I keep asking. — Did you like it?

— I liked it very much, and now I know a little bit how you feel...

Yeah, it hurt a little at first, but then everything got better.

— Is the story of the vibrator really true?

— Of course it is! Did you think I was kidding? — he asks and comes closer to me, laying his head on my shoulder. — I looked into it, and I saw that it could make it easier for both of us...

— Wow, I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world!

— To Nate!

— It's true, I'm not making fun of you! Will, you are amazing, you are too beautiful, too smart, your personality is the opposite of mine. And I feel very lucky to have found you, and sometimes I wonder if I really deserve you, and all this positive aura that you bring wherever you go, e.... — Before I can finish, he puts his index finger over my mouth.

— You're not going to start with this Twitter thing, are you? I told you before, and I'll tell you again! — he says, and then brings his face close to mine, kisses my mouth lightly, and speaks again. — My heart, my mind, my body? Everything is filled with you, Nate!

I feel an immense urge to cry when he says this, and it is stronger than me. A tear trickles down timidly.

— I love you, Bunny! You are the best thing that ever happened in my life...

— I love you too, my love! — hearing this, I feel like I'm going to burst into tears, and this is very strange, I think I don't know myself.

I have never liked to cry in front of anyone, but that is the effect Will has had on my life. I have definitely become a fool in love, with this silly boy who has the ability to take me from pleasure to tears.