I like men
Will
Nate's face when I told him I bought a vibrator to make things easier was priceless. I think it's so cute when he rolls his eyes and gets his mouth open, it's always funny, but what surprised me was not that, and even less the sex. Although, the sex is always intense and very good. This time it was even better, like a new first time, although I did use a vibrator, but I can't compare it to my boyfriend doing everything in a seductive way, with a strong grip that took me to many places, without even leaving the bed. But, back to the subject of "surprising", do you know what really surprised me?
Your tears.
Along with them, his insecurity in thinking that he doesn't deserve to be with me, after reading so much crap on the internet. Nate's insecurity reminded me of Wanchai when he thought he wasn't worthy to be with Thirasak, after reading the nasty comments from part of the fandom, which is dedicated to stalking his boyfriend. Seeing him like this made me even more emotional, it was a tiring day, but caresses, the sex, and the words spoken served to make us relaxed, and even more in love.
Seeing my Kitten sleeping next to me, feels so good. With my fingertips I lightly caress his face, bringing my face closer and placing a kiss on his forehead, causing him to slowly open his eyes.
— Are you awake, Sleeping Beauty?
— Let me sleep, baby!
— It's almost one o'clock...
— What? — he asks in astonishment. — Why did you let me sleep for so long?
— Because I also slept a lot! Are you going to tell me that you forgot when we went to sleep, and why?
— Of course not. Yesterday... I mean, early this morning, it was amazing!
— Oh, I thought I had forgotten!
— Only if I had lost my memory, Bunny! — he exclaims, and then wraps one of his arms around my waist, stands very close to me, and kisses my neck. — Are you going to stay here with me, or are you going home?
— That depends.
— Depends on what?
— On what I get!
— Today it's your turn...
— Your turn for what?
— You know what I'm talking about!
— I don't! — I say and let out a laugh.
— Don't play cute! Today it's your turn, Will! — he says, smiling and moving his mouth closer to my ear. — Your turn to fuck me!
[...]
After spending three days at my boyfriend's house. Making up the most lame and "clueless" excuses in the world, I return home with an immense desire to stay. I look for some kind of T—shirt in the closet, grab a black one, put it on, look at the mirror that goes all the way around the wall in front of me, get closer. I touch my neck. Marks, and not a few.
— This sucks! Every time I say it, and he doesn't listen. I'm very concerned about not leaving visible marks, and he always leaves me like this... Oh Nate, you pay me!
I walk down the flight of stairs wearing a turtleneck sweater. Dinner with my parents and my neck full of visible marks? Impossible, because I would have to hear "your night was good," "this girl left you all marked up. And I would have to invent a very straight fanfic for them, and Lyn would have a lot of laughs because she is the only one in this house who knows that the "girl" who left marks on me is actually a boy.
I get to the living room, and lie down on the couch. My cell phone vibrates. My "friend" Khai's name appears on the screen. I pass it on. I don't want to talk to him. He has been trying to talk to me for days, but I just ignore it. I know Khai, he is sorry for what he said, but I am not in the patience to hear what he has to say.
The phone insists once again on vibrating, but this time a smile breaks out on my lips.
Nate: Hi
Me: Missing me already?
Nate: If I tell you I am, you'll think I'm missing you.
Me: I know you miss me
I wanna kill you
Nate: What Did I Do?
Me: You left marks all over my neck
Nate: Sorry, it's stronger than me
Me: I know I'm really hot
but you don't have to do this, got it?
Nate: Who said you're hot?
Me: You
Nate: Me? When?
Me: Every time you're moaning and begging for more
Nate: What a lie!
Me: No lie
Just confess that you're crazy about me, that you don't do anything else
but to desire me!
Nate: I think you're watching too much BL.
Me: No, you're the only one who doesn't want to confess that
you want me too much!
Nate: Dream on!
Me: There's Something
Nate: What?
Me: You pay me
Nate: Whoa, I'm scared!
Me: Go ahead and debauch!
When I catch you, I'm gonna leave you full of marks
Nate: is that all?
Me: and make you moan so much
Nate: Really? Careful not to over promise
Me: I never promise too much, what I promise, I keep!
Nate: And you're coming to keep that promise today?
Me: I think I'll expand my repertoire of excuses
my parents will start to get suspicious
Nate: Just say you're dating
Me: A guy?
Nate: A Girl
Me: They'll want to meet, and you know that for now
Nate: Fine, but you're going to leave me full of marks?
Me: are you anxious?
Nate: always
His words make me smile non—stop, as well as making me a little disconcerted at the thought of the invitation. I am brought out of my reverie when I hear my mother gasp. I stop smiling and look up into her face. She doesn't look very happy, there will probably be a shower of questions coming at me, but the secret is to always tell the truth, however, she won't believe me, because the truth is sometimes scary, and it seems like a big lie.
She invites me to the table, and I get up and walk down the hall to the dining room. I sit down on one of the chairs, and we stand there waiting for my father and sister.
My mother looks all the time toward my neck, and I look in the mirror beside me, behind the main chair, where my father usually sits, and realize that I am the same color as the walls and the table, white.
— Why are you wearing a turtleneck sweater? You don't usually wear these kinds of clothes at home.
— There's always a first time for everything, Mom!
— Are you hiding something?
— Hiding what? — before she can answer me, my father and Lyn enter the room talking, and once again, saved by my sister. My father and Lyn sit down. He looks at my mother and me, smiles and says.
— How nice that we are together today!
— It's unheard of for our family to be together lately! — she has to say something to raise the tension.
His words make me smile non—stop, as well as making me a little disconcerted at the thought of the invitation. I am brought out of my reverie when I hear my mother gasp. I stop smiling and look up into her face. She doesn't look very happy, there will probably be a shower of questions coming at me, but the secret is to always tell the truth, however, she won't believe me, because the truth is sometimes scary, and it seems like a big lie.
She invites me to the table, and I get up and walk down the hall to the dining room. I sit down on one of the chairs, and we stand there waiting for my father and sister.
My mother looks all the time toward my neck, and I look in the mirror beside me, behind the main chair, where my father usually sits, and realize that I am the same color as the walls and the table, white.
— Why are you wearing a turtleneck sweater? You don't usually wear these kinds of clothes at home.
— There's always a first time for everything, Mom!
— Are you hiding something?
— Hiding what? — before she can answer me, my father and Lyn enter the room talking, and once again, saved by my sister. My father and Lyn sit down. He looks at my mother and me, smiles and says.
— How nice that we are together today!
— It's unheard of for our family to be together lately! — she has to say something to raise the tension.
My sister rebuts her.
— Everyone here is very busy, Mom!
— Your brother is the busiest here, the question is, what is he so busy with? — she asks and looks at me as if she is angry about something.
— He is famous now, young, handsome, single? It's natural that girls are running after him, isn't it son? — my father asks, and I just shake my head. — Are you seeing a lot of girls, or are you seeing someone steady?
My answer to this question, if I had the courage, would be different from what he expects. No, Dad, I'm dating Nate. However, I don't have that courage at the moment, because it involves too many issues.
— I'm not staying with anyone, I just go out, have fun, sometimes meet someone, and that's it!
— I would just like to know why do you have to go everywhere with "Nate"?
— Because we work together, the show is a success, it is natural that the brands and the fans want to see us together!
— But they act as if you are a couple, and that's...
I don't let her finish.
— That's normal, Mom! People like to pair artists that they think match!
— Who ever heard of wanting you and that boy to be a couple? That's not normal...
— I don't see any problem with that! — I answer and bite into a piece of shrimp, chew it, and before I can speak again, she answers.
— After what Kamon told me, of course you don't see anything wrong with this, do you?
— Now I understand why you're picking on me! Kanya went to tell her mother that I was rude to her and everyone else there, is that it? — I ask and smile.
— Are you still smiling? How can you treat your friends like that?
— Friends? I don't think they deserve that title! They were extremely disrespectful to Nate and me, and I think they insisted that I bring him along to make fun of us, and they talked about gay people like they were infected with some contagious disease or something!
— Will, did you fight with your friends over a silly joke? — asks my father with indignation on his face. — Everyone there has known you for some time, they are the sons of great friends of ours, and...
— So what, Dad? They were extremely clueless! — says my sister.
— They are young, and they just played with your brother. Since he started hanging out with that boy, his behavior has changed...
— Because they are young, they can be assholes? — Lyn asks my mother.
— Besides being homophobic! — I add, and before I can say anything else, my father replies.
— What kind of nonsense is this? You take everything seriously...
— Of course! — I drink some water and continue. — Being homophobic is something nice among the young, and among the old too!
— Where are you going with this? — my mother asks me with a very questioning look on her face.
— Very simple. You simply forgot that you had another daughter, just because she likes girls?
— I can't believe you're bringing this up because your friends made a joke?
— They said something disgusting to hurt me, and you call it a joke? — I ask angrily and get up, before I can leave, my mother says something.
— That hurt you, why? I already told you, your sister made her choice, and you don't need to be hurt by it, Wirakan!
My mother's words move me, as does this whole turbulent situation.
— I'm not only hurt for her, but for me too!
— What are you talking about? — my father asks, gets up and my sister does the same, approaches me, looks at me intensely, and touches my hand.
— I was hurt because of my sexuality!
— What? — my parents speak in unison.
I stare at them firmly, and I think it is time, if I don't say it now, I think it will be more difficult from now on.
— Because I like men!
