Chapter 35

Y A S M E E N

I never explicitly tell guys when I like them but they tend to figure it out because I'm not very good at hiding it either. Aayan... Aayan seemed like a dream, he was so sweet and funny... not to mention, hot. He was out of reach for sure and honestly, I never wanted to reach out. There was no reason for me to even try with him because his league was supermodels and I was just me.

I won't lie, it's not easy for someone to waver my confidence. I genuinely loved who I was in high school! Rejection didn't scare me, I was content with my appearance, I was loud, bold, and happy. But Aayan managed to ruin me in ways I never thought someone could. God, if I could scrub the memory out of my head, I would. I would sell my soul to forget that day. Philip had no right to bring that up again... He had no...

I touch my cheek and realize there are tears running down them. I quickly wipe them away and try my best to put a smile on my face.

"Marcus!" My cheery voice somewhat cracks. He turns back to look at me, his usual stoic expression lingering on his face. "What?"

"I'll be fine! You should go back to Alejandro and Zara to make sure they're okay," I say. He raises a brow, unsure of whether to leave me but I reassure him. "I swear! I'll stay out of trouble. If you need me, I'll be sitting by the bar, drinking apple juice or something."

He nods and orders something at the bar for me. "If you need me, you may call or text me."

I stare at him, blinking.

"There's no point in hiding it. The woman at the front desk told me she gave you my number." He sighs.

"What a snitch," I mumble to myself. "Okay, no worries. Now, go! I don't trust Elijah by himself."

He sighs. "Don't create trouble," he says and takes his leave.

"I won't!" I wave him off.

"A Pineapple-Hibiscus for the lady." The bartender slides over my drink.

I smile, "Thank you." The first sip is refreshing and lively, my throat felt like it was going to close up in that room.

"Let me know if you'd like a refill at any moment," he lets me know and I nod.

As I drink away, Goodbye by Post Malone plays in the background. Loneliness begins to dawn on me and my thoughts begin to swallow me whole. It may sound dramatic, but that encounter with Aayan was one of the darker moments in my life. It shook my confidence to my core and it took everything in me to rebuild myself.

I should've asked Marcus to take me home but I couldn't have him leave when Philip was acting so odd in there. I hated how much tension was in that room, I don't blame Zara for feeling angry. Philip was definitely acting out of line.

"Need company, miss?" A familiar voice says.

Just as I turn around to meet his eyes, my heart drops to my stomach. "A-Aayan?"

"You remember me?" There's a smirk lingering on his face. How could I not? Your face is engraved into the deepest and darkest parts of my mind.

"Y-Yes," I answer. Unfortunately.

I can't bring myself to look up and face him. It's so stupid, so very stupid. What he said to me years ago shouldn't bother me still but it hurt, his words hurt deeper than I could've imagined.

"What are you doing here, of all places?" He asks. "Came to visit a friend," I answer.

"Who?"

"Zara."

"Okay, and what is she doing here?" He raises a brow. "Her fiancé owns the nightclub." My answers are as straight-cut as they can be. He chuckles, "Very funny. What's the real reason? Trying to find someone to fill your night?" "I'm not lying!" My tone spills out defensively. He puts his hands up in surrender. "Hey, now, no need to lose it on me."

"S-Sorry." I'm a nervous wreck. Every nerve in my body is telling me to run far away from him. "Have you found someone yet?" He suddenly asks.

"Who?" I ask, confused.

"A boyfriend," he states.

"No."

"You know... I'm not doing anything tonight. Do you want to get away from here? Somewhere quiet?" He leans in a little closer.

"No, thank you." I scoot a little further away.

"Oh, come on!" He puts a hand on my arm. "Are you still upset with me about what I said to you years ago?" I shake off his touch and stay silent. My silence should be enough of an answer for him.

"It wasn't anything crazy. I only rejected you because I wasn't interested at that time." He shrugs his shoulders. You fucking embarrassed me in front of the whole school, you said the nastiest things—things that took me too long to get over. You almost ruined me, Aayan. If Zara wasn't there to pick up the pieces, I would've died.

- Flashback -

"Zara, can we grab something to eat after school? How does a shawarma wrap sound?" I couldn't wait to eat. I barely had anything for lunch today. She nods excitedly. "Yes! Dude, I've been thinking about a shawarma wrap all week. This can be a reward for wrapping up our sophomore year!"

"Yo! Yas!" A voice calls out to me from across the hall. I turn around to see Aayan gesturing for me to come toward him. I raise a brow while looking at Zara, who shares my expression but we proceed to walk toward him.

"What's up?" I ask.

"So, a little birdie told me you've been crushing on me." He's grinning. I pause and sigh. "Yes, and what about it?"

"I don't like you like that, Yas. You're just a good friend."

I smile. "And I'm completely content with that, Aayan. No worries and no hard feelings."

"Of course, you'd be content with that. You have a tendency to jump from guy to guy, no?" His tone switches to some sort of mockery.

My eyes widen. "Excuse me?"

"What?" He says. "Am I wrong? You change feelings for men like people change out of clothes." I scoff, thinking this is just a joke. "Okay, okay. What are you trying to get at?"

"If you didn't wear that silly thing on your head, you'd be passed around all the teams in the school," he comments so casually that I couldn't even wrap my head around what he just said. "You have whore-like tendencies, you know? But don't let that comment go to your head, you aren't that special to look at either."

"Aayan, what the hell is wrong with you?" Zara pulls me back. My throat goes dry at his comment. Tears sting my eyes, threatening to spill out.

"Oh, come on! Has there ever been a guy who has actually liked you back? No, there hasn't," he answers his own question. "I honestly think you need to lower your standards."

"Oh, that's funny. I don't think I remember asking for your opinion," my voice is shaky but it can't be helped.

"Let me tell you what, if you change up your look and lose some weight, I might consider looking your way." He looks me up and down. "Tell you what, your body is slightly better than your face so maybe try wearing things that actually suit you."

My cheeks are burning as I stand here listening to him destroy a part of me. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I'm just giving you some friendly advice, Yas. You're always reaching for men who are very much out of your league," he continues bashing me. "And maybe you should do something about this loud personality of yours while you're at it. Look at Zara, she's so much quieter and can read the environment. Maybe then your newfound personality can make up for your looks." I almost collapse onto the floor. By this time, a crowd has gathered around us, keenly listening in on the utter garbage coming out of Aayan's mouth.

"Why... why are you being such an asshole?" My shaky voice eats away at my weakness.

"Yasmeen... I'm not being an asshole. I'm just trying to explain to you why your feelings constantly get rejected," he says as if he's giving some friendly advice. "You do realize people just tolerate you because they don't want to be rude?"

"Fuck you, Aayan! Fuck you!" I scream. "Your mother should've swallowed you!"

Murmurs spread across the hall instantaneously. He only chuckles, "Oh, darling. At least I have a mother."

- Present Day -

I shut down after that day. I changed for the absolute worst. I became quiet and reserved. I started dieting, using dangerous methods to stay thin. I wasn't loud anymore, I didn't insert myself into conversations. I avoided eye contact with everyone, including Zara. I went from someone who loved every inch of myself to becoming a self-loathing monster. I did everything that was destroying me emotionally and physically because Aayan tore me into shreds for no apparent reason.

Zara, my sweet, patient Zara stuck around and pulled me out of the gutter. She spent months on top of months reminding me of the person I used to be. She showed me my favorite music, various pictures of us, my favorite places to visit, the food I used to love, and anything and everything she can to remind me of my happy self.

It took a bit over 12 months, some therapy, and lots of love and patience to return me to the person I used to be before him. Sometimes I think about how I'm still not as whole as I used to be but this is still good enough. I was fortunate to have support from my family and Zara but not everyone can be this lucky.

"Yas? Yasmeen?" Aayan snaps his fingers to get my attention again.

I quickly wipe away the tears that sprung free. "What are you crying for? Is everything okay?" He sounds so sweet, so very sweet.

"So, you decided to lower your standards for me all of a sudden?" The tears won't stop. "What are you talking about?" He raises a brow.

"Am I thin enough for you now? Quiet enough? Is my personality more appealing? Do I look prettier?" My voice is bathing in defeated anger. "Yeah, you do look prettier," he answers truthfully. "What does being thin and quiet have to do with this?"

"What does—Are you fucking joking?" My voice breaks.

"Oh, Yasmeen..." his voice gets softer and he places a hand on my cheek wiping away my tears with his thumb. "But was I wrong? You listened to me and now you're glowing. I'm sure you get attention all the time now."

My mind begins to malfunction as I place my hand on top of his. I can't grasp what I'm thinking. He's twisting his evil words to sound sweet yet I find validation in them.

I haven't changed. I'm as broken as ever.

Did I ever truly heal? His words still have me chained up, I'm still bound by the cruelty that ruined me. I stare at Aayan, am I pretty now? Am I finally worth something now? Will accepting his offer end the cycle of rejections?

I think about how easily Marcus rejected me. Maybe I'm not pretty enough yet, maybe I need to be thinner, maybe I need to tone down my voice around him, maybe I should act a little diff—

"Hey, man. I'm going to need you to step away from her." A familiar voice breaks me out of the paralyzing trance I had fallen under. Aayan turns around to face Marcus, who's looking at me in disappointment? I quickly rip Aayan's hand off of my face.

"Who is he?" Aayan asks me almost defensively.

"None of your business. Yasmeen, come to me." This is the first time Marcus had said my name without a hint of disdain. "You're not going anywhere until you tell me who this is," Aayan demands.

"Dude, let go of me!" I try to squirm out of his grasp.

"Let go of her or it won't end for you." Marcus forms clenched fists.

"Yasmeen is going with—" before Aayan can finish his sentence, I elbow him in his side, "—Fuck! You bitch!"

I run towards Marcus who holds out his arm for me to grab. I take his hand and he, unexpectedly, pulls me into his chest. One of his arms is wrapped around my waist while the other hand is gripping, what looks like a pistol, on his side.

"I asked you to stay out of trouble, didn't I?" He looks down at me, his gaze is much softer than I'd ever seen it. I couldn't help myself, I burst into a sob so grateful that he showed up on time, or else I would've been swallowed whole by Aayan's manipulative words. Aayan scoffs. "I see what's happening here. You listened to my advice and found yourself a man. What number is he? Your 30th man in the last two months? I always knew you'd turn out to be a slut."

"Aayan, haven't you done enough?" My voice is quiet. "You became the reason I suffered for so long. You're the reason I stopped eating, you're the reason I stopped dressing the way I did, you're the reason I stopped smiling, you're the reason I stopped speaking altogether. Wasn't that enough damage?"

"Apparently, I hadn't done enough damage because you're still a b—"

"I would hold my tongue if I were you," Marcus warns.

"Or what?" Aayan challenges him.

"Yasmeen, I would appreciate it if you can stand still for a couple of seconds," Marcus instructs. Before I can register what is happening, Marcus is already by Aayan's side. He twists Aayan's arm behind his back to the point where I heard a couple of cracks even with music blaring. Aayan screams in excruciating pain, writhing to the floor. I didn't flinch, neither did I feel a single bit of remorse.

"Keep talking and I'll break more than an arm, asshole." Marcus's eyes are blazing with anger as he shoves Aayan over towards the exit. "Get out before I decide to not let you see tomorrow." As Aayan stumbles out of my sight, my legs begin to feel weak.

"Marcus..." I call out softly, my arm reaching out to him but I fall to the floor. He hurries over to me, kneeling down to my level, careful not to touch me. "You should've contacted me."

"I thought I could handle it and I didn't want to bother you," I say. He rolls his eyes. "You're always bothering me."

"Exactly," I mumble quietly.

"You're allowed to bother me when you need me," he says looking away from me.

"Thank you," I whisper. "Thank you for getting me out of there."

"No need to thank me, it's my—"

"—job, yes, I know, I know." I smile sadly. I wish he would just accept my gratitude without reminding me that it's his job. But he's not wrong, it's his job. He doesn't do it out of free will and that's okay. I can live with that for now.

"Come on, I'll drop you off at home," he helps me up. "Is Zara alright?" I ask, remembering that she's stuck in a room with Philip. Marcus nods. "Yes, they're safe."

"Is Philip gone?" Marcus doesn't answer.

"I'm going to assume that's a no." I sigh. "Do you think I can see Alejandro and Zara for a bit before I go?"

"I'll ask. Give me a moment." He pulls out his phone to type something. A minute later, he answers, "Both of them will be down in a minute."

I start grinning and Marcus raises a brow, "What trouble are you going to stir up now?"

"I won't cause trouble... Just a little fun before I leave." I purse my lips to try not to smile too much. "Aayan completely ruined my week so I need to fix my own mood."1

I see Zara and Alejandro approaching me but both their expressions are... unreadable. I frown, did Philip say something? He became extremely ballsy today. I shake my head of negative thoughts and wave them down. Zara gives me a small smile before walking a bit faster than Alejandro to get to me.

Once both of them are close enough for me to finally see them clearly in this dimmed environment, I notice that they're both flustered and out of breath. However, Alejandro has a small smirk plastered on his face while Zara looks awkward.

"Uh... you two alright there?" I ask, not sure if I want the answer. "Yes, everything's fine. Was everything okay for you?" She quickly switches the topic. I shake my head. "No, Aayan ruined my mood and I want to have some fun."

Zara's head whips around, looking to see if he's still here. "Where is he? What did he say?"

"I'll tell you later but I want to request a song. Where's Elijah?" I ask, looking around for him. "Escorting Philip out." Alejandro answers. "Why? You miss him?"

"Yes, he's the only other person with a sense of humor around here," I pout. "In fact, he's much more fun to be around."

"Ouch." Alejandro chuckles. "Apparently, Elijah is very popular with the ladies," he says, side-eyeing Zara but Zara doesn't look at him.

"Can I request a song?" I ask Alejandro, fluttering my lashes at him. "Do you want to sing?" He raises a brow. He already knew before I could say it.

"Can I?" I smile.

"Sure, I haven't heard you sing since senior year. Are you sure your voice hasn't gone sour?" He teases me. I giggle, "Yes, I'm sure." "In front of all these people?" Zara's eyes widen.

"Yes! I'll thrive!"

"She will definitely thrive off of the attention," Alejandro says. "Marcus, take her up to the DJ booth and get her set up."

"Elijah would be a better choice for this, Boss," Marcus sounds sour. "Elijah's not here, Marcus." I roll my eyes. "She would much rather prefer Elijah. Am I wrong, Ms. Yasin?" Marcus's tone is clearly bitter. I furrow my brows, not knowing why that matters. "Mr. Wang, Elijah is not in sight so you'll have to do. Come on!"

Marcus sighs in defeat and directs me to the booth. He says something to the DJ, making the DJ give me a small look. It wasn't judgemental, more surprised rather than anything.

"You can sing, Miss...?" the DJ asks, waiting for me to say my name.

I nod. "My name's Yasmeen."

"Ms. Yasmeen, do you have anything in mind?" I lean closer to him so Marcus would be out of earshot, "Do you think we can do Smile by Avril Lavigne?"

His eyes widen. "Oh! That's a bold choice! You think you can pull off the vocals for it?"

"I think I can," I grin.

"What did she pick?" Marcus raises a brow.

I look at the DJ and shake my head. He chuckles, "I guess you're about to find out, Sir." He lowers the music that was already playing, "Ladies and gents, I'm happy to announce that we have a live performance by one of our guests today. The floor is all yours, Yasmeen."

- - -

Yasmeen and Marcus weren't supposed to show up this often but a friend of mine says she really enjoys the difference in development between Zara + Alejandro and Yasmeen + Marcus. She said it's interesting to see how Yas and Marcus are growing, whereas Zara and Alejandro are almost falling apart as the story goes on? What do you guys think?