Chapter 36

Y A S M E E N

The guitar strums out as I feel everyone's gaze on me, the feeling has adrenaline rushing through me. I feel my heartbeat in my throat as I take in a deep breath and let it out, "You know that I'm a crazy bitch // I do what I want when I feel like it // All I wanna do is lose control. Oh, oh."

The crowd's expression goes from shock to an instant energy boost as they cheer and bounce around to the music.

"But you don't really give a shit // You go with it, go with it, go with it // 'Cause, you're fucking crazy rock-n-roll."

My eyes trail to Marcus, who's just as shellshocked, if not more.

Grinning, I look him right in the eyes as I sing the next bit, "You said, 'Hey, // What's your name?' // It took one look // And now we're not the same // Yeah, you said, 'Hey', // And since that day // You stole my heart // And you're the one to blame."

My mind travels to how my mood instantly shifted from feeling insecure to safe once Marcus stepped in between Aayan and me. A bigger smile forms on my lips, feeling like a heavy weight is being lifted.

"And that's why I smile // It's been a while // Since every day and everything has // Felt this right // And now you turn it all around // And suddenly you're all I need // The reason why I-I-I // I smi-i-ile."

The excitement travels through my body, making me feel like I'm on a high. I've always loved performing in front of crowds, I love watching the shock and enjoyment on their faces as I sing, and I love seeing people come to life through just a mere performance. I enjoy making others feel like they're on top of the world because I know what it feels like to drag my soul up from the pits of Hell.

• • •

M A R C U S

I lean against the booth, watching Yasmeen in absolute shock. She has a surprisingly decent voice that is enjoyable enough for me to listen to. Her smile, ironically, only grows wider the deeper into the song she goes.

"Last night I blacked out I think // What did you, what did you put in my drink? // I remember making out and then, oh, oh // I woke up with a new tattoo // Your name was on me and my name was on you // I would do it all over again."

I can tell she's putting her soul into singing it to de-stress herself from the encounter she had with that man. God, I wanted to shove a gun down his throat. He was absolutely infuriating, acting like he owns Yasmeen or something of that sort. I have never seen her look so upset and vulnerable, she looked like a completely different person than her usual annoyingly, bubbly self and for a second, it terrified me.

Why did it terrify me? Why was I so afraid of letting her slip like that? It shouldn't matter to me, there's no attachment between us. But I couldn't stand there and watch that bastard tear her down like that. I wanted to break much more than his bones at that moment. Her gaze falls on me once more as she sings, "You said, 'Hey, // What's your name?' // It took one look // And now we're not the same // Yeah, you said, 'Hey', // And since that day // You stole my heart // And you're the one to blame."

Her face is full of contentment, so bright, so full of life that I couldn't help but stare. Sudden envy and hate bloom within me, reminding me that we're nothing alike. I hate her, I hate her because she's the complete opposite of me. I hate her because she pushes me and she shoves me past any bearable boundary. But I can't—and I won't—tolerate anyone even looking at her unkindly because I won't hesitate to be merciless.

But I still despise her because she doesn't give up on me when I've given up on myself. I despise her because she's naive and nonchalant about everything. I despise her because she deserves better than to mope around someone like me. I despise her because I need—

I shake my head, clearing my thoughts.

I can't let her distract me like this. She finishes off her song and the crowd goes unquestionably wild asking for more. I stand up straight to walk out of the booth only for her to grab the corner of my shirt ever-so-slightly to stop me.

"Did you like it?" She has that stupid grin on her face. I roll my eyes, "It was alright."

Her expression drops to a pout. "Oh, okay."

As I walk off, I mumble quietly, "It was good." But I don't stay around to wait for her reaction.

God, this woman will be the end of me.

• • •

Y A S M E E N

"It was good," Marcus's words almost slip through without being heard. I squeal, Marcus thought it was good! That was all I needed to overthrow the events with Aayan out the window. "Marcus! Wait for me!" I run after him but as both of us make it downstairs, we're met with a grim atmosphere. Alejandro and Elijah are silent but are staring each other down. If looks could kill, both of them would be dead right now.

• • •

Z A R A

"Of course not. I know perfectly well whether this is foolish or not. I am not here to incite violence today, Mr. Genovese. I am only here to further our businesses," Philip's grin is sickening.

Elijah draws his weapon but Alejandro puts up a hand to tell him to stand down.

I'm glad Marcus took Yasmeen out. Philip is a completely different person now, most probably consumed by the need for revenge.

"Then, the more intelligent move would be to walk out of here voluntarily." Alejandro's voice is steady.

"Oh, I will. But I would like to speak to you... in private." Philip stares down both Elijah and me.

That invokes a sort of fear in me, making me instinctively grab Alejandro's hand. Why am I worried about someone like him? I should jump in joy if Philip murders him in cold blood.

"Elijah, give us a few minutes," Alejandro says. "Take Zara with you."

"Don't do anything stupid," I whisper before standing at him. He gives me a small smile, "As you wish, my love."

I give Alejandro one fleeting look before Elijah escorts me out of the VIP booth.

After a few minutes of dreadful silence, I speak. "Will he be okay in there by himself?" I ask Elijah. He raises a brow, "You think anyone can take Alejandro down that easily? Think again. Besides, wouldn't it be better if Philip takes away your problems?"

His question catches me off guard. "I... I don't know. "Run away with me, Zara," Elijah's sudden words come out of thin air. "We can leave this all behind, you can leave him behind," there's desperation in his tone.

I'm taken back by his bold suggestion. He can't possibly think we'll survive if we try to run away? "Are you crazy?"

"I might be but I'm serious," he states. "I can get us out of here, you'll be safe with me." I'm silent for a couple of seconds, I don't have anywhere else I can go. On top of that, Alejandro is my husband. But not only that, he's one of the most feared men around. It would be a suicide mission. Wasn't I the one who said I'd rather be dead than stay another second with him? Why am I hesitant now, then? I don't know! I don't know!

"I... it won't be right," I say quietly. "We'll be dead before we even get a chance to think about this."

"I did all the thinking already! You just have to—"

"It isn't very heroic to try to steal someone else's spouse, Elijah." Alejandro's voice cuts through like burning metal. "And it isn't very faithful of you to consider it, my love."

"I wasn't considering it! There was no way I was going to go along with it!" I defend myself wholeheartedly. "I already told you, I don't belong anywhere except with you." Okay, yes, I was considering it but I wasn't going to agree to it. Apparently, I still have a will to live–or at least not die by Alejandro's hands.

"Hm, is that so? I see." He turns towards Elijah. "Escort Philip out to his car. Make sure he doesn't cause trouble." Elijah nods and walks away from us. He stirred up this trouble and just leaves me here to handle it!

Alejandro walks away and something inside of me twists. It's an unsettling feeling, I don't like this. He didn't say anything further, does that mean I've done it this time? Crossed a line I didn't know existed?

"Alejandro? Alejandro!" I call after him but he doesn't turn around. I decide to follow him.

This might've been a bad idea because as I follow him, the hallways become much more dim and more complicated. I have no clue where he's leading me. He enters a room and I follow right behind him like an obedient puppy. I guess he really has rewired my brain, hasn't he? The room seems like a storage room for furniture or supplies. It's clean and tidy though. The dark room is narrow with only one window providing with any kind of illumination for me to make out Alejandro's silhouette. The music is faint but still reaching the room.

Alejandro is leaning against the wall, waiting for me. His expression doesn't give away much, like always. I have no clue what he's thinking or what he's about to do.

To break the awkwardness, my mind can only think of one way to cope: humor. "Do you think I'll be forgiven if I promise to give you your favorite nose kisses for the rest of my life?"

"No. Get on your knees." His words are demanding, yet casual. It is forceful enough to where I know refusing isn't an option but casual enough where it sounds like he's commenting about my clothes or something.

"Here? Right now?" I let out a burst of nervous laughter. "Maybe you should have Elijah do this since he's the one who suggested—"

"Are you refusing?" His words send shivers through me. I shake my head and fall to my knees. I avoid eye contact with him because my cheeks are burning up. I look up at him with hesitation, my hands hovering over his belt, "Alejandro?" He unwraps my scarf off of me, letting it fall beside me. His hand drops into my hair, gripping it as he looks down at me with dark eyes. I guess I won't be getting anything else out of him, my pleas would only fall on deaf ears. I let out a shaky breath and undo his pants.

He's already slightly hard, which isn't shocking because I'm literally about to give him a blowjob. I'm sure the thought is arousing enough. I'm sure the thought of doing this so publicly makes this much more appealing to his sick mind...I would prefer to do this slowly and take my time in order to not harm myself in the process but he seems to be eager. I take the velvety head of his cock into my mouth and begin sucking, caressing the shaft with my hand and moving my head consistently.

"Deeper, my love," he instructs. His tone isn't particularly forceful or cruel in any way but it is a demand he wants me to obey.

I know, I know, I shouldn't refuse but I'm already giving him a blowjob in public, he can't possibly expect someone as inexperienced as me to do things like this on-demand...But my thoughts don't matter because both his hands are now in my hair, making it impossible for me to pull off. Whatever protests I had, only came out as a groan against his dick.

Alejandro isn't pleased that I haven't done exactly what he asked as an annoyed moan leaves his lips. He pushes himself deeper into my throat when I didn't do it myself.

I choke as my hands grip his thighs in panic and the sounds escaping my throat become louder, filling the whole room.

He doesn't stop, however, he does pull back ever so slightly to allow me to breathe before repeating the same motion again. More protests escape my throat as I push away using my hands on his thighs.

"Stop being so loud, my love. You wouldn't want anyone to walk in onto us, do you?" There's obvious frustration in his breathy tone. But I'm hoping he becomes frustrated enough to stop. But of course, I'm wrong yet again. He continues to use my mouth, face fucking me with no intention to stop until he finishes. My protests have stopped, I only focus on not choking as I take in as many breathes in between thrusts as I can.

"If you didn't make so much noise, I wouldn't have been so rough," his voice falters as he comes close to climax.

Despite how degrading this feels, seeing the way he's unfolding in front of me is almost exciting. I'm witnessing a man who's always composed and impassive unraveling because of me is astonishing. In a way, I do have some control over him. I own his body and his pleasure, I own the way he melts away from either touching me or vice versa.

His breathing becomes heavy, his grip on my hair slightly flexing and his thrusts are no longer constant. He's close, I can feel it in the way he's pushing into my mouth.

Once he does finally cum, he doesn't do me the pleasure of letting out any sound, keeping himself buried in my mouth so my only choice is to swallow. I feel his seed glide down to the back of my throat as a bitter, salty taste fills my tongue. It's absolutely disgusting to the taste. The feeling, on the other hand, is uncomfortable but not unbearable.

Alejandro takes a deep breath, either out of satisfaction or lingering irritation and anger. But either way, he releases his hold from my scalp. "You've gotten better at this," he compliments me casually. He adjusts his clothes and then leans down after taking out a napkin from his pocket. He wipes my mouth clean as I try to hide my sour expression. After cleaning the liquid off of my face, he doesn't do anything further to help me. He pats my head and says, "I forgive you," with a smile that is not genuine.

He's still angry. But is it at me? I'm not sure. I'm sure he was annoyed at Philip already and then Elijah had to go on and say such controversial things with Alejandro two feet away from us. I sigh, thinking about all the problems that arose within the last 20 minutes. This can't be good.

• • •

"She's still as good as I remember her," Alejandro comments as we listen to Yasmeen. "Of course, she is," I agree. "She never stops singing. It's one of those simple things that keep her happy."

"Alejandro, may I have a word?" Elijah interrupts our conversation. "Alone," he adds after looking at me. Everyone seems to want to talk to Alejandro alone today.

"I'll excuse myself," I say but Alejandro grabs my wrist.

"Is it something you cannot say in front of my wife?" He challenges Elijah.

"Wife?" Elijah's eyes widened. "Not just a fiancee?"

"We've been married since the beginning," Alejandro breaks the news. "We kept the information to ourselves to not anger the elders."

Elijah looks at me in betrayal as if I had any choice in the decisions made by Alejandro. The betrayal he feels is clear as day on his face, I can tell he wants to yell and scream at me for not telling him. I don't blame him for being angry but telling him or not wouldn't have made a difference.

"Oh, I see." He clears his throat. "I didn't intend to overstep my boundaries earlier. However, Zara does not seem to be enjoying her time with you. In fact, I'm sure she finds it troublesome considering the person you are."

I gasp, this man is trying to get me killed, or worst, punished. "Elijah! You have no right to decide whether I'm happy or not with someone." But he's not wrong. Lord knows that he's not wrong.

"God, Alejandro! Just let her go!" Elijah yells suddenly. "Why did you drag her into this fucking mess of our world? What did she do to deserve such a horrible end to her story?"

"You're fucking right. She didn't deserve any of this!" Alejandro yells back, making both Elijah and I go still. "She doesn't deserve any of the shit I put her through but there's no way in fucking hell will I let anyone else have her." I stare at him with wide eyes, not sure how to process this information.

"Did you ever ask her if she wants you?" Elijah spits back. "Did you ever ask her what she wants?" Alejandro grips something against his belt. A gun? A knife?

"Elijah... that's enough..." I say as calmly as I can.

"No!" He whips around to yell at me before turning back to face Alejandro. "Ask her, Alejandro. Ask her what she wants and what she doesn't want. Let's see how this would end for you."

The veins on Alejandro's hand from gripping whatever weapon is under his suit are defined in angry greens and blues. I put my hand on Alejandro's shoulder to whisper, "Let's go, please."

"Why? Want to protect your boyfriend from me?" His voice is low, angry.

"Alejandro!" Now there's anger slipping through my tone. "I'm trying to stop my husband from doing anything he'll regret."

"I never regret anything I do, Zara," there's eerie darkness lingering in his voice. "I won't regret this if it means no one gets to take you away from me." I literally gave you a blowjob 10 minutes ago in a storage closet, I'm not going anywhere! I wanted to scream but instead, I lean my forehead against his back, wrapping my arms around him. "Let's go home," I plead, "Please."

"How can I be sure you're not saying this to protect him, Zara?" In the rare instances when my name is spoken by him, it always sounds genuine. But now, he sounds defeated, tugging at my heartstrings.

"She just wants to go home, Alejandro. Take her home," Yasmeen's voice cuts through my thoughts. I don't know how long she and Marcus have been standing there.

He looks at me, his eyes are cloudy and dark. I can't tell what he's feeling or what he's thinking. I never know what he's thinking or feeling! But it doesn't matter now, I just want to leave before he does any damage.

"You don't want to go home with me, do you? You want to leave with Elijah," he says as a statement. He grabs my arms and takes them off of him, taking a few steps ahead of me to put distance between us. "Go, I won't stop you. There won't be any consequences "

Confusion fills my mind. Is this a trick? Is he testing me? But then the confusion is followed by anger. I'm married to him and he wants to me run off with Elijah? Who does he think I am? Then, the anger is followed by reasoning. He looks like he's being serious, he's willing to set me free. This is my chance to leave this behind but go where? I have nowhere else to go.1

"How can I trust that there won't be any consequences?" My voice is quiet.

"You have my word," he says.

"No loopholes?" I ask.

"None," he answers.

"Come with me, Zara." Elijah reaches out his arm for me to take. "I'll take you far away from here, far away from him." I look at Yasmeen for a hint, any hint, but she's speechless and confused herself. For the first time, she doesn't have an opinion; for the first time, she doesn't know what to tell me. And if she's unsure, I know for a fact that she thinks something isn't right either.

I walk towards Elijah, reaching for his hand as Alejandro walks towards the exit.

Something about this doesn't feel right, something's off. My gut is telling me this is the wrong choice, suspicions are running deep within me. This doesn't taste like freedom, it tastes bitter, and it feels off.

I stop midway to Elijah and mutter, "Fuck." My arm drops to my side and I turn around to sprint into a run towards the exit.

"Alejandro!"

- - -

Zara's thought process really said 📈📉📈

Also, I love Yasmeen's energy and confidence.