Chapter 39

Y A S M E E N

Everything needs to be perfect. I have never wanted to perfect something so much in my life because I never had to impress someone as hard-headed as Marcus Wang before. In fact, I've never actually wanted to impress a boy before. I always went with the flow and as everyone knows by now, that never worked out. But something about Marcus makes me want to work harder, makes me crave his attention, and makes me pull for his approval. It is absolutely maddening and honestly, I would not want it any other way. Why? Because I thrive from the feeling of every nerve in my body pulling me towards him. So many people are afraid to fall, afraid of things not working out, and afraid they will end up torn into pieces but that doesn't bother me. Of course, I do care about being heartbroken and would prefer if I do not end up in a million pieces, but it's all part of life, no? We fall, we get hurt, and we learn. It's all part of the experience or maybe I'm just an insane masochist who enjoys getting my heart broken over and over again.

I shake off my thoughts, that doesn't matter today. Today, I will remind Marcus of home with my special recipes that will ignite the definition of comfort food for him. I didn't hold back when it comes to having a variety to eat. I prepared chǎofàn [fried rice], Cong you bing [scallion pancakes], baozi [meat bun], mápó dòufu [mapo tofu], xiao long bao [soup dumplings], chūnjuǎn [spring roll], húntun soup [wonton soup], and kǎo ròu [roast meat]. And for dessert, I made dòu shā bāo [red bean bun] and somlói Galuska [Hungarian sponge cake]. However, I had to go out and buy Hong Kong-style mango pudding because I wasn't sure how to make it and didn't want to risk it. I finish setting up the table with some candles, napkins, and eating utensils.

As I look at the long table covered in the different dishes I prepared, I feel almost proud. "Thank God my mom taught me all of this or else I'd have nothing else to impress a man with. Particularly, this tough man," I jokingly laugh to myself. I look at the clock realizing I only have an hour to get ready before Marcus would be here.

I choose a brownish, brick red ankle-length dress out of the closet. It has my favorite puffy bishop sleeves! I accessorize with a black Gucci belt along with a black crinkled hijab. "Can't forget a cute pair of earrings!" I grin as I put on the last bit of my accessories. I finish up my makeup 10 minutes before his arrival time and quickly put on my hijab. I quickly settle myself in the living room after sending him a text to let me know before he shows up.

Ten minutes turn into 30 minutes; 30 minutes turn into an hour; and the hour ticks, getting closer to an hour and a half. My mood begins to drop, I'm starting to feel disappointed and... sad. But then, the doorbell rings. I jolt up and run to the door to open it only to be met with Elijah. He raises an eyebrow, looking at me up and down, "I'm going to take a quick guess that you weren't waiting for me dressed like that?"

I laugh, "No, I was expecting Marcus."

"Marcus? Marcus Wang?" There's a clear shock in his voice.

"I know, right? I never thought I'd be able to score a dinner with him," I say.

"Did you cook?" Elijah looks around. "It smells so damn good."

"I did! Do you want to come inside and take a look? I can pack a bit of everything for you to take?" I offer.

"No, I couldn't! You made this for Marcus and yourself. I can't possibly take it," he declines the offer. "Maybe you can treat me some other time!"

"Marcus—he was supposed to be here almost two hours ago." My voice was barely a whisper. "It's okay, I'll pack some of it for you and you can enjoy it."

He sighs. "Marcus is an ass. You shouldn't expect too much from him."

"I wasn't expecting much from him. Just hoping he'd show up," I say quietly. "He didn't even text or call me to cancel."

"I wouldn't have treated you like this," Elijah says playfully. "Especially, if there were homecooked meals involved."

I giggle. "Of course, you wouldn't. I'm sure you'd treat me like a princess."

"A queen," he clarifies with pride. "I'd treat you like a queen."

"Mr. Elijah, are you flirting with me?" I raise a brow.

"Ms. Yasmeen, I'm only being honest." He smiles. "You look gorgeous tonight, by the way."

I look down at what I'm wearing, upset that Marcus didn't get to see me this dressed up. "Thank you. At least someone's here to appreciate the one day I don't look like a mess."

"I can appreciate you whenever you'd like," he winks. "I would bathe in the attention," I laugh. "But take me out for dinner first," I add jokingly. Suddenly, I hear a loud bang and I whip my head around to see where it came from, "Did you hear that?"

Elijah looks at me in confusion. "Hear what?"

I furrow my brows in suspicion but shake my head, maybe I'm just on the edge. "Never mind. Come along, I'll have you take some of this home."

"Are you sure?" He asks.

"Yes, I've made plenty. Wouldn't want all of this going to waste." I say as I walk towards the kitchen. "Did you drop by for something?"

"Oh, right! I came here to pick up a box," he says. "A good friend of mine used to live here before you moved in. She left a box with some of her things, so I'm here to grab it."

"Oh, of course. Go ahead, you can go get it while I pack this up for you."

After a few minutes, Elijah emerges from the guest room with a black box, and I finish putting the food in containers. "I'm sorry your night didn't go as planned," there's a hint of pity in his tone. "It's okay, Marcus probably got caught up in something." I smile, trying not to burst out into tears.

"I forgot to mention, I'm moving to Sicily for a bit." He suddenly drops new information.

I freeze. "Like Sicily, Italy?"

He nods. "I have a few things to take care of. I'll be back, though. Just not soon."

"Is Alejandro banishing you for what you did the other day? That was pretty ballsy, by the way. Stupid but ballsy." I give him some credit for being brave in front of a man who could've messed Elijah up on spot. He chuckles with slight sadness and shakes his head. "No, I requested the transfer. I want to go visit family, plus, Alejandro told me to take care of some things since I'll already be there."

"Honestly, sucks. There's no one else as funny around here." I frown. "I'm honored that you think I'm funny." He grins.

"Tone down that ego, you're not that funny, but compared to all the corpses I'm surrounded by, you're as good as it's going to get." I laugh softly.

"Ouch, that hurt." He pouts. "I'll get going then. Again, I'll apologize on behalf of Marcus. He probably didn't mean to bail out on you like this."

Elijah seems sweet but it can get off-putting when he looks like he has a crush on Zara, yet he's out here flirting with me. But this isn't a crime since Zara's married and I'm not. Still, kind of odd, no?

"If you find him, give him a good beating for me," I wink.

"I will," he winks.

"Just leave the face out of it." He bursts into laughter. "If you weren't so hung up on Marcus, I would've taken you to Agrigento with me. It's a beautiful city."

"Oh? And my dad would've buried me alive, sir. You need to ask my hand for marriage first," I tease. "Maybe once I'm back and you're still up for it, we can give it a shot?" There's a small amount of hope in his tone.

"What? A date?" I ask, surprised.

"No, marriage." His voice is flat, I can't tell whether this is a joke or not anymore.

My eyes widen, "I thought you were..."

"Interested in Zara? No, not like that. I just wanted to get her out of the shitty situation she's in. She reminds me of someone I used to know."

"Oh... you better not be joking," I continue to tease to not make anything too serious. "I might take you up on that marriage offer because it sounds better than Marcus right now." The hurt is seeping through my words just a tad. He smiles very charmingly. "I would never lie to you, Milady."

"Okay, okay. Enough jokes. Take your food and be on your merry way." I hand him the bag that I placed all the food containers in.

"Thank you for this," he smiles. "I'll be feasting tonight."

"Let me know how you like it!"

"I will. Have a lovely night, Milady" He says as he takes his leave. I clean up the table, at this point I know Marcus isn't going to show up. He was supposed to be here almost three hours ago, he really stood me up.

I walk to my room, take off my hijab, and place it on the bed. I lean against the glass window, sliding my back down until I hit the ground with a thump. I pull my legs towards me, hugging myself as I rest my face on my knees. I burst into a fit of tears, why would he play with my feelings like that? He could've at least sent a text, I would've understood, and I wouldn't have been upset at all. But not saying anything at all, it hurts. It feels like he stomped on my chest with spiked shoes. God, maybe this is why I never tried taking chances with guys I crushed on. Maybe I am terrified of getting my heartbroken. Tears slide down my face in a constant, my sobs are quiet but heart-wrenching.

Suddenly, my phone rings. I quickly pick it up without looking at the caller ID, thinking it was Marcus.

"Hello?" I sniffle.

"Hey, it's me, Elijah," he says as disappointment washes over me.

"Hey, Elijah. Everything okay?" I quickly try to pull myself together. "Are you crying?" He asks immediately.

"No," I answer.

There's silence. He's waiting for me to tell the truth.

"Yes," I tell the truth. He sighs. "Do you want me to come back?"

"No." I'd rather cry alone.

"Don't be upset over him. It's not worth it. His loyalty to Alejandro is a chain that is near impossible to break. Even if you manage to have him, he'll always prioritize the Boss over you, always."

"You're not helping," I weep a little louder, unable to hold myself back.

"Sorry, sorry," he quickly mumbles. "I wanted to say something but I'm not sure if it's the right time."

"What is it?"

"I completely forgot it was Marcus' birthday today," he says casually. I inhale sharply. That's why Marcus was a little suspicious when I asked him to come over today. Oh my God, it's his birthday.

"Elijah, I have to go," I quickly say, wiping away my tears.

"Are you going to be okay?" He asks.

"Yes, thank you for letting me know. Bye!" I quickly hang up. Knowing Marcus, he probably thought I knew it was his birthday and would make a scene out of it. Maybe he was just uncomfortable with the idea of having a party or something. Little did he know that I was clueless, and I chose this date out of the blue.

I quickly put on my hijab and run to the kitchen. I had already saranwrap the food and stored it in the fridge, but I quickly take it out and place them in bags. "I'll drop off his food at his apartment and he can eat it comfortably by himself if that's what he wishes." I smile as I finish placing the last bowl in the bag. I quickly touch up my makeup before running around the house to find a paper and pen. Once I manage to find writing utensils, I sit down to write a birthday note. I sign it off with: Love, Your Favourite Person, Yasmeen.

"This should do it," I smile as I fold the note in half. Now that I think about it, the note screams I love him but without actually saying that I love him. Did I just say that I love him? Oh my God, I think I'm actually in love with him. I check myself in the mirror one last time before heading out the door just in case Marcus ends up being home. "I can scold him while looking pretty," I say as I giggle to myself. I take the elevator down a floor, my breathing picking up during the trip down. I'm making myself nervous for no reason. I'm just dropping off food, not professing my undying love for him. Technically, I am professing my undying love for him in a way. The letter I wrote is literally me telling him I'm probably head-over-heels in love with him without explicitly saying it.

"Shut up, Yasmeen. Stop psyching yourself out. You've never been this nervous around Marcus before, don't lose your cool," I pep talk myself. Once I reach his door, I take in a deep breath and ring the doorbell. My foot unintentionally starts tapping as I wait, hoping he'd open the door. A minute passes by and I decide to leave the food in front of the door because he's probably not at home. As I was about to walk away, the door handle turned. A shirtless man stands at the doorway, staring at me in confusion,

"Uh, may I help you?"

I stare back at him with the same confused expression. I look behind me, then I look around to analyze my surroundings. I think I got the wrong door or something but... "I'm sorry, I think I got the wrong—"

My heart drops to the pit of my stomach as I see the silhouette behind the man. It feels like having the wind being knocked out of me. I didn't need more time to figure out what was happening here, my mind captured the moment as it is. Oh, this one's going to leave a nasty bruise on my heart.

"What's taking you so long at the door?" A shirtless Marcus peaks out from behind the door followed by a topless woman. "Amelia's getting impatient—" His eyes fall on me, cutting his sentence short. There is not a single bit of surprise—not a shred of guilt. His expression is as stoic and cold as always.

I stumble back slightly feeling lightheaded. "Miss, are you okay?" The man asks, coming forward to lend me hand but I quickly balance myself. My lips begin to quiver, I know I'm about to burst into tears. God, I'm about to scream from the unbearable pain in my chest. I can't breathe, I can't breathe, I can't breathe. Numbing agony spreads through my body, paralyzing my movements. Pull yourself together, just for one more minute. Please, Yasmeen. One more minute.

I nod at the man. "I'm okay, just lost my balance there for a second. I'm actually here to drop something off for Marcus."

The man looks at Marcus and stands back to let him through. Marcus steps into the hallway, his eyes lingering on me, yet his gaze holds no remorse. It holds nothing but darkness and void. I stretch my lips to form the most forced smile I've ever given someone and extend my arm with the bag for him to hold. "I didn't want this going to waste, so I came by to drop it off. There's plenty to share with your friends! I want a review of how everyone liked it afterward," my voice sounds weak, it sounds like I'm hanging on by a thread.

I turn on my heel and cover my mouth with my hand, stopping my sobs from escaping. I couldn't stop the tears though; they start streaming as if they have no plans of stopping. I was about to bolt for the elevator door when Marcus's voice stops me, "Yasmeen," he calls out. I can hear him take a few steps toward me.

"Don't, please," my voice cracks. I turn around to face him and for once, he looks somewhat taken back, probably because of how much of a mess I look like. "Happy birthday, Marcus," I say quietly. "I wish for you to find all the happiness that you deserve." And then, I run. I run towards the elevator. Once I'm inside, I click the button that immediately closes the door and I drop to the floor, breaking down completely.

Technically, all of this was my fault. I kept forcing him to do things with me he probably didn't want to do. I'm the one who has feelings for him, not the other way around. I'm the one who kept forcing my way into his life knowing full well that he won't ever make room for me. I did this to myself, there's no one to blame but me for what I'm feeling. But what hurts the most is that he could've canceled tonight. It would've stopped me from seeing this, it would've retained my innocence, I could've been happily living in my own fairy-tale as I was before. Once the doors to the elevator opened, I had to drag myself inside the house. I have no energy, no means to even lift my head. My heart feels like it's been shattered into a million pieces unfixable pieces. I curl up into myself in the corner of the entrance of the home as the feelings swirl around me. I'm hurting, I'm lonely, I'm confused, I'm a mess. I should've known, how could a heart like yours ever love a heart like mine?

- - -

I just love building things up and then ✨shattering✨ it so my readers have a mental breakdown. It's what I live for, LMFAO! SORRY!!

Anyways, y'all, hold on tight because this is only getting crazier.