11

Arnav

"Do you believe in love at first sight, Arnav?" Khushi asked me, and I shook my head.

"There is no such thing as love at first sight. It takes time to first know someone and then fall in love."

Answering her, I looked up at the stars, feeling peaceful, lying under the sky at night.

"So, you are one of those then." Khushi sighed, and I frowned at her.

"What do you mean?" I wanted to know.

"You are one of those who would think over a million times before deciding to spend the rest of your life with someone. I guess you are one of the logical ones, not romantic," Khushi answered.

"It is good to be logical, Khushi. You cannot just give your heart to someone you do not trust. It's better to properly know a person before even liking them. You must have a reason for loving them and wanting to spend your whole life with them." I tried to reason with her.

"But logic does not apply when you just love someone, Arnav. There can be no reason when you love someone.

"If you love someone because they are beautiful, that beauty will fade with time.

"If you love someone because they make you smile, there might come a moment in life when that person might not be able to do that, caught up in their own pools of life struggles.

"If you love someone because they understand you better, later on, you two might have a difference of opinions and may not be able to understand each others' feelings at that time.

"So, you see, the reasons can fade in time. And what will become of your love with reason, then? That is why love should always be without reason. If you find such love in your life, find a person you fall in love with without any reason, always hold on to them. Never let them go." She finished speaking, and I found myself agreeing with her.

I smiled at her, looking at her beautiful face shining in the moonlight. I felt something in my heart shift as I saw her look back at me with a slight smile on her face.

At that moment, my heart raced somewhat faster, and a rush of emotion threatened to overwhelm me as I continued peering at her face.

But the very next moment, the smile on her face turned to sadness, tears pouring out of her eyes as she looked at me.

"Why did you do this to me, Arnav? How could you ruin me this way?" She accused me, her eyes red with anger.

"Khushi, what are you--" I was saying, but she suddenly stood up, not letting me finish.

"You ruined me, Arnav," she said, walking away from me.

I look around at the darkness suddenly falling around us. It was a warm evening just a few moments back, with a moon and stars in the sky.

But now, it was suddenly too cold, not one star in the sky, and the moonlight was too dim.

"Khushi, stop. Don't go, Khushi." I tried to stop her, but she kept moving back toward the darkness.

"You destroyed my life, Arnav." She glared at me, tears still streaming down her face.

"One chance, Khushi, please. I promise I will never make you cry. I am sorry, Khushi." I kept walking toward her as she continued to move back.

"You do not deserve any chance, Arnav. I hate you. I HATE YOU," she shouted and turned away, running into the darkness.

"Khushi, come back, please," I pleaded as I followed her.

I kept running but could not find her. I could not see anything except black fog everywhere.

"Khushi, where are you? KHUSHI?" I shouted, continuing to call her, hoping she would answer.

"KHUSHI.... KHUSHI..." I kept calling, but she did not return, and I was alone, with only darkness surrounding me.

"KHUSHI." I open my eyes, sit on the bed, and look around.

Sighing as I realize it was a nightmare, I turn on the lights in the room and climb down the bed. Walking ahead, I look out at the dark night as I reach the window.

Since finding out the truth, I have been burning with my guilt and regrets. I have no idea how I will face Khushi and apologize to her.

I stopped myself from going to her earlier because I knew she needed to rest and also because she had requested me to give her some time alone.

"But I will go to her tomorrow morning as soon as she wakes up and apologize for everything. And once she forgives me, I will never let even a drop of a tear come to her eyes. My Khushi will only be happy from now on, without any shadow of pain marring her face."

I will correct all the mistakes I made in my blind misunderstanding and anger.

***********

Khushi

I open my eyes, feeling a splitting headache as I try to sit on the bed. Without causing much head movement, I slowly sit up and lean against the bed's headboard.

I try to raise my hand to press my forehead, but they are too sore after all the scrubbing I did yesterday to clean the house.

"The kitchen... it's still left to be cleaned," I whisper as I remember fainting while scrubbing the kitchen floor yesterday.

I then recount the brief conversation I had with Arnav last night. He was here in the room, asking me to eat something. He didn't say anything about not completing the cleaning or the punishment then, but I am sure he will bring it up now.

He will not care if I have a headache or if my whole body is aching.

I tear up at the thought and slowly try to climb down from the bed.

"Ahh!!" I exclaim in pain as I move my legs.

Sitting back on the bed, I cry. I feel so pathetic. Everything hurt. My head hurt, hands hurt, legs hurt, heart hurt.

I am such a mess—a pathetic mess at that.

Closing my eyes to let the tears fall, I again try to climb down the bed. My entire body feels rigid with soreness and pain, but still, I try my best to get down.

Finally, when I do that, I slowly walk toward the cupboard to take out my clothes to wear for the day.

As I open the cupboard, more tears pour out of my eyes when I see only skimpy nighties inside.

I packed my suitcase while coming here, and I arranged the wardrobe yesterday. So, I knew these would be the only clothes inside. Still, having only these skimpy nightdresses to wear when I am so cold and weak, I feel pain wash through me.

I want to wear something warm. Something that will adequately cover my body and not make me feel like a--

I stop my thought there, not wanting to even think of that word. Arnav has been calling me those names, and it hurts whenever I hear them. The way he spits them at me to demean and insult me makes me flush with humiliation.

Why not think of those words, Khushi? Arnav will come again and will call you by those names again. It will be better if you get used to them. That way, he will no longer be able to hurt you with those words.

I shake my head, not wanting to recall those words, but they come unbidden to my mind.

"Cheap whore."

"Complete filth."

"Dumb slut."

Unable to hold myself, I sob loudly, slumping on the floor, covering my ears to stop those words from ringing in my ears.

"Stop, please. I am not that. Please, please, stop." I cry out, squeezing my eyes shut.

I get startled and immediately move back as I feel a hand on my shoulder. Looking up, I see Arnav peering at me.

"I am sorry, I slept till late. I...I will go and finish cleaning the kitchen." I try to stand up, but with my legs too sore, I cannot bring myself to do it.

"Khushi, please let me help," Arnav says, and I frown. I am surprised, hearing his gentle voice.

But I move back as he walks toward me. I slide to the corner beside the cupboard, the memories of him clutching my arms painfully countless times flashing in my head.

"I... I don't..." I stutter, not knowing how to stop him from touching me without angering him.

If he got angry--

I gulp in fear and recall all the times he punished me when I angered him.

Choking back the lump in my throat and blinking my eyes rapidly to stop more tears from pouring out, I look up at him. "Sss..irr.., pl..please, don't get angry, but I can stand up mmm...myss..self."

Saying that, I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to move my body back to the corner even after hitting the back wall. I bring my knees to my chest and try to get away from him as much as possible.

Please don't slap me. Please don't hurt me. Please don't slap me. Please don't hurt me.

I keep repeating those sentences in my head, my body rocking back and forth as I wait for him to say something. It is ok even if he says something hurtful as long as he doesn't touch or hit me. My body is too weak and sore to endure more physical pain.

When Arnav doesn't say or do anything for a while, I slowly open my eyes, my heart thumping against my chest in fear. But I am surprised when I see he is no longer standing in front of me. In fact, I am alone in the room.

Why did he leave without saying anything? Is he planning to punish me later? I wonder, still sitting on the floor and shaking in fear of impending punishment.