Chapter Thirteen

THIRTEEN

There is a thing they do every weekend. I do not why no one told me that earlier. But I am sitting at my usual spot beside the stool in the parlor when Zuri skips in.

"They are here!" She says like we talked about "they" coming.

I get up and stand beside the television and wait. She fumbles with the chain that links the door to the wall then moves the bolt.

Once the door opens, there are shouts and plenty of heads. I walk away to my room. I stand close to the window and look down. There is nothing much to see but a laundry line.

The door bursts open and I know it is Zuri. She stands there for a while then begins to walk closer to the window. I turn around.

"I hope you understand what happened last night was for you," she says.

I raise an eyebrow and frown. " What was for me?"

She sighs. "Girl, don't make this hard. Come out and meet the crew."

I turn back to the window after she leaves. Last night, was her trying to pimp me out now she is trying to initiate me into "the crew"

Her stupid brother also felt the need to confiscate my personal belonging last night even though I posed no harm.

I pull a sweater over my singlet and move out to the sitting room. There is loud laughter and noisy chatting coming from the room which seizes once I come in. There are three boys and four girls in the room then Zuri and her brother. All eyes turned to me as I came closer then the chat continued, rising up slowly from the silence in the manner of a heating engine then it died again.

Zuri gets up and motions for me to take her spot on the two seater. Some people even had to sit on the arm of the couch. They were just two couches; one two seater and a single sofa.

Zuri walks to the door and sits on the red rug there. One of the girls comes down from the arm of the chair and joins her. Zuri looks at her and she smiles. There is chemistry between them. It was just their arms touching but I could sense they had touched other parts of their bodies.

"So what's your name?"

I look at my new interviewer who is sitting on the arm of the couch Dwayne was sitting while another girl was on the other arm. He has his arm around a girl that stood beside him and clung to him like a life piece. He is a fairly presentable piece of art. I pay attention to his lips. It is thin - almost like it was a forgotten part of him. Then God remembered and cut open a space without moulding the lips. I wonder how he kisses - it would definitely feel dry.

The girl beside Dwayne laughs. "Doesn't she talk?"

Dwayne shifts. I think he wants to say something but he does not.

I fix my eyes on the girl beside Dwayne. "My name is not your business."

Zuri laughs and the girl beside her too. Soon everyone joins in like a joke has been cracked but the girl does not join in, neither does Dwayne. He just relaxes , leg stretched out in his seat. The only thing missing is a cigarette to complete his lack of interest. He does not show the anger or hatred he has for me.

"It's Imani. Forgive her hormonal humour," Zuri says.

The girl beside Dwayne snorts. " I don't understand how a person can be so poor and yet rude."

She looks at Dwayne as if asking for backup or punctuation to her statement. Dwayne looks at her and says, "Her name is Imani, Zuri's friend."

Friend. That is a commonly thrown word here.

Zuri gets to her feet. "Lamar, join me to serve the drinks."

She walks to the kitchen and the girl beside Dwayne follows her. Now that I know her name, I now see why she has a close resemblance to an animal. She is busty with a size of ass that is not so big to match her large breasts but she manages to shake them so hard in the loose shorts she wore as she walked to the kitchen.

Dwayne's eyes follow her movements and I smile. If he did not ogle after her, I would have still known he was fucking her. They were not touching but I could feel the subdued attraction between the two. It was like a fire they were covering with their palms.

The people beside me are now kissing and others are looking into their phones. It seems everyone is paired off apart from me. I am not interested in this socialization. By next weekend I do not think I will be here anyway.

The power comes on and my first interviewer crosses Dwayne's legs to switch on the Television. The girl on Zuri's rug gets up and walks to the kitchen. I like where I am; I like seeing people's assumed privacy like now the couple beside me are touching themselves though discreetly but I feel everyone here knows.

Zuri returns and they begin to distribute the drinks. She hands me mine and moves on. I just hold up the glass. It is a fruit juice with some drops of alcohol - I can perceive it. I'm not against alcohol but against mixing; it upsets my stomach.

"Light head?" Dwayne asks. He's leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.

"No, I think I actually hold it in more than you." I push my lips to the side so he understands my statement for what it is - a cocky joke.

"Oouh, I actually think that's a flirty come back," the girl beside Zuri says.

" Win, shut up," Lamar says.

Dwayne falls back into his seat nodding and smiling at the glass in his hand.

I also start looking at the glass in my hand and when I am done, tired of pretending I want to know these people - even the mute ones, I rise up and go to my room. Nobody calls me back.

The room was as silent as a cemetery before I left, I could even hear the ragged breathing of the person beside me but now it seems the seal holding them back is gone and from my room I can hear their voices trying to climb over the other.

I walk to my window where there's nothing interesting to behold and I sniff the drink. There was a time I could tell the type of vine in a drink just by sniffing it but I can not do that anymore. My senses have been thinned like I am aging without wisdom.

The people in the sitting room are now playing a game - Truth or dare. That game was just an excuse to kiss someone you are not supposed to kiss. Kent and I once played it. But we both lied when we chose to say the truth; He said he did not cheat on me and I said the same.

Footsteps begin to pass my door. I hold in my breath so I can know who it is. The person is a man and he is in flip-flops. The person reaches my door but walks down to Dwayne's room.

I let out my breath and run a hand over my belly. I have lost the pouches that used to be there. Now I can say I almost have a flat tummy.

I move to the window and raise my singlet then I turn to the side checking it out. I turn to the other side and look, then I fully face the mirror. "You sexy thang."

I laugh as I say that and return to the bed. I have always known I was sexy even when I almost weighed one hundred and seventy six pounds. Though no one ever called me that.

Food was not surplus then but I seemed to have Bulimia or gluttony. Either of that or both. And I can sense it slowly crawling back in.

A girl passes my room and walks straight to Dwayne's room. Her footsteps were not like Zuri's own. She did not knock, she just opened his door. It had to be Lamar; She was the only one Dwayne gave attention out there.

The part of me that loves to see behind closed doors gets excited. I move to the bathroom and sit on the tub. They do not exchange pleasantries. But I can hear the spanks already.

The day I slept with that banker in my neighborhood, we did not exchange pleasantries too even though we used to before that day. I just stood facing the wall and he raised my skirt and did his stuff. In less than five minutes he was done. He changed his condom and went again. After the third one, he paid me for each round. The money was not much. It was just enough to repair my spoiled phone.

Inside Dwayne's room, the girl's moans come out muffled. I can imagine what he must be doing to her, how he must be touching her. I start feeling a tingling between my thighs- it's like a sweet throbbing at the mouth of my vagina.

I rise from the tub and return to my room amused by the things that interest me.

Kent once fucked somebody while I watched. I entered through his kitchen window. I removed the glass and climbed in. Then I stood at the door in the dark and watched him bang that girl whom he said was his cousin. She moaned and screamed his name not like me who acted like a mute sex doll.

It's a good thing I shaved that girl's hair after. It was the only thing that made me feel better.

It is late at night when the guests leave. Dwayne's girl leaves with them. Zuri later comes into my room wasted. She leans on my door after she closes it and just stares at me without a word while staggering and pointing shaky fingers at me.

She begins to stagger to the bed and I ignore her until she falls at the foot of the bed. I stand and leave the room.

The sitting room is only illuminated by the light from the television. Cups and disposable plates are littered from the table to the ground. I clear off the couch and lie down.

A romance movie is playing on the television. I walk to it and disconnect a few wires and soon it becomes a fizzling companion.

I grab the bag of chips on the floor and return to the couch. I sit on the single Sofa while eating the potato chips and staring into space.

From tomorrow, I could start making enquiries on how to get to the bus stop or train station and also be deliberate about getting money - enough money. Who knows where the wind will blow me?

I am ready to be blown away. After all, I'm a girl without a home. I did not think I would find it in a strange city. I do not think there's such a place for me.

I realize quickly how heavy I am getting with memories and pain hiding in crooks inside of me. I seem to be falling into my hollow.

I rise up and throw my head back. I want to scream, I want to shout but the pain is like a huge hurricane whirling only inside me, refusing to be let out.

It begins to ache at the right side of my heart. It is where my pain always rises from.

The chips drop to the floor as I move to the window. My teeth clatter as I try to hold together the last bits of me. I grip the curtain at the side and part my mouth for a while before my teeth clatters together again.

The parts of me I locked away are open and the darkness is slowly coursing out. It recreates my rage and most of all my hurt.

I give up. I let it out. It flows down free, calling my insides to release some more. I place a palm over my mouth trying to hold it in but it does not. Then I throw my head back and let out a groan.

That's when I feel the presence at the door.