Chapter Twelve

TWELVE

Zuri leads the way. She seems to know the bouncers at the door. Just a wink at them and we are in. I have been to a club before and this place, if it is a club. It is a different kind of club; it seems like a sex club.

At a corner by the bar was a girl performing fellatio on a man on her knees while the man held her hair in one hand, and held a cigarette in the other hand.

From Zuri's gait I can see the excitement bubbling in her to be here. She stops at the bar and looks around. I also pose and look around. There is a booth at the far end. Two girls played with themselves to entertain the men seated there who had ladies sitting astride and rocking their bodies back and forth on them. All were still clothed but I could tell they were actually skin to skin.

Zuri turns and hands me a glass of lucid drink. I sniff it as I continue walking behind her. I have been seeing faces here and I can say, I do not look like a clown; the ladies here fit that description better.

We enter a door covered with a beaded curtain. She confidently sashays in and I follow while looking around. People here are just drinking and caressing. Nothing serious. I grab Zuri's hand and she pauses.

‘’ What is this place?’’

‘’ This is where you can make enough money to return home,’’ she says and continues walking to a group of men.

I scoff. She just looked at me and concluded I could please men for money, that I need money to return home, that I have a home.

There is a long table with men dressed in fine suits sitting around it on stools. There is no female in their midst until Zuri walks up and places a kiss at the back of one's head. She looks at me and smiles like she is giving me a sign. I understood it alright but I do not try to get comfortable. I remain at my spot watching as stiff as a rod.

Four pairs of eyes address me, even the man that has his hand on Zuri's ass sizes me up and down before he hides his face in Zuri's breast as she sits astride one of his legs facing him.

It feels like I was handed an incomplete script without a guide on what next to do.

I have slept with a man for money before. It was just a quick arrangement and I did not have to act to be seen. The man was a banker. He lived around my neighbourhood and I never saw him in a suit. But these men look rich.

Sniffing drinks is something I love to do so I sniff the one in my hand. It is alcohol but not a strong one. I hold the glass with both hands and shift on my feet.

"She's such a baby," one of the men says. It makes the others access me again and look away.

"I like her," he says with his down lip in between his teeth. He dims his eyes at me. It is supposed to be sexy but he looks like a Sloth.

Zuri looks at me and winks. I'm tempted to yank off her wig and lunge at her. Did she forget her senses at home? She was the one that handed me tampons this morning now she's pimping me out.

I drop the glass on the table. "Zuri, let me talk to you,"

"You are talking to her," The man holding her says and laughs crazily.

I smile at them. Zuri laughs too, coming off his lap. She throws her jacket on his thighs and bends to his face. "Stay here."

The man darts his tongue out and licks her lips. I turn away and wait for her to lead the way towards the restroom.

There's something wrong with this place. I can feel the discomfort just like how I feel when it's almost time for Uncle Joel to return home or how I felt the day I went to Kent's house and saw him through the window moving his black ass up and down in between the legs of another girl.

Zuri walks into an open restroom. I enter and she closes the door. She matches me back till my back hits the wall. My instincts are now very alert coordinating the smartest move that will let me have my knife.

She runs her long nail along my jawline then she takes my lips in her. My bones still.

She moves back and does it again. Our mouths taste like alcohol. There is no hunger in her or desire. She just takes my lips and plays with her tongue in my mouth because she knows it is something she can do.

I do not respond or push her away. I wait till she is done so I can know the point she wants to make.

Her body moves closer to mine and our breasts rub against each other then she moves back.

She clicks her tongue while checking me out. "You sure have it in you."

I'm still standing as straight as I was when she kissed me. "What do I have in me?"

Her response is a small laughter then claps her hands together. "Imani."

She runs her long finger nail along my cheek. "I have been kind to you. Don't make me regret it."

She is smiling at me and now I see the ice behind her kindness. I don't know why it took me so long to see it. Maybe because I was always looking out for men. I smile back at her.

She kisses me one more time before walking out of the restroom. I follow her like one who has been handed a new script.

I stand beside the man who indicated interest in me with my hand gently massaging his right shoulder. His hands grip my thighs. He squeezes it then rubs his hand around it.

My mind is not in this room. I have sent it to wander the streets of the city, sniffing for the perfect food I will take after this experience. I wish I have someone to tell my story to so he can compare how I came from stealing library books to standing beside this white bearded man about to let him have sex with me for money.

From their talks I can tell they are from the higher states. Even without hearing them speak I could easily know. They did not fit in with this environment. They wore well tailored suits and had a pretentious gentleness. It only makes sense that they will come here, the inner states.

In the inner states, the laws are there just to be broken. It is the center of almost all criminal acts because the cops avoid this area like a plague. There are hungry people here also who could do anything to survive.

The man grabs my ass and squeezes. I feel my tampon shift and my mood also. There is a fresh anger brewing inside of me. This anger causes my hands to fold ready to vent on anyone.

I look at Zuri while taking the man's hand off my butt. She has her head thrown back and her eyes closed while the man holding her uses his teeth to please her breasts.

The other two men seem content with just watching and the one I am with now has his hands rubbing my inner thigh and attempting to urge me to stand wide apart. His hands on me bring the taste of bile to my tongue.

I walk away from the group. I walk past the loud moans,groans, screams and get outside.

Inside there felt like I was sharing my air with so many people - like we were breathing in turns, like I was breathing from another's nostrils. It felt like darkness was closing in and about clogging my vision.

I close my eyes and inhale the free air. I take a moment to applaud myself for being almost gullible. I should have been in a better place to know there is hardly any kindness that is not to be returned.

I do not know what will be next but I begin to walk back to the house. I do not want to return to the streets and I love how I am nothing here; not a daughter, not a girlfriend, not a person.

I follow Zuri’s shortcut. When I get to the door that I'm supposed to use its window, I do the code knocking and a man shows up. I give him some money and push past before he could object. He says no word to me. I walk to the window and jump out then the window closes back immediately.

Another hurdle is the house itself. I now wish I knew where Zuri's brother came from. If it is a place I want to steal from, I will just carve a square in the door large enough for me to crawl in.

I expect the door to be locked. It is but the latch is not raised. I knock twice then lean on the wall beside the door kicking off Zuri’s pumps. I can feel someone very close to the door but there is no move to open the door. I raise my hand to knock again then the door opens. ‘’Come inside.’’

My eyes move from Dwayne to the chain holding the door to the wall. Even Zuri with her small body can not make it through the little gap. He removes the chain and I walk inside holding zuri’s pumps in my hand.

‘’What of zuri?’’

I turn and face him. ‘’She’ll be coming when she’s done.’’

He nods and I also nod and walk away from him to my new room. I stand at the door and look around. I can already tell someone was here. There are cartons on the bed I dressed before leaving. Before I bend, I can already tell they were the cartons under the bed where I put the teddy. The intruder wanted it to be very obvious.

Staring into space, I fill my lungs with air then I let it out. I do it again and again, then I feel the knife beneath my dress before leaving the room.

I Imagine he would be in the sitting room. It is a larger combat ground. He is there, facing the window but turns as I step in. He seems to have been waiting for me. I laugh.

‘’What about my teddy bear?’’

He points to the flowers lined on the floor close to the wall then turns his back to me. I walk to the teddy lying miserably on the floor. It still looks stuffed but as I lift it, it is just light; just a teddy bear, no more a weapon pack.

‘’ I'm going to need the contents back.’’

He remains as he is. ‘’ What contents?’’

I stare at him for a while then silently decide he is a waste of my time so I sigh and start walking back to my room.

‘’Stop.’’

I do not stop. I walk into the corridor and his footsteps follow me. ‘’ I do not want to shoot you. Don't make me.’’

I laugh. It is funny when people use that line, blaming others for decisions they have already made in their heads. I turn around slowly and fold my hands. He is actually leaning on the wall with a gun pointing at me. It looks loosely held like something I could snatch if I am fast enough.

‘’ It will be very shameful if that is my gun you are pointing at me.’’

He turns the gun over, reassessing it. "Indeed it is."

"I really need that teddy the way it was. No games."

He walks to the side as he talks. "We don't need those weapons in this house. I work as a guard but you won't see me carrying knives and guns about."

I roll my eyes. " It's my protection."

He finally stands at a place and looks at me. " From what?"

"It does not matter. If I have not hurt anyone."

"You have not hurt anyone yet," he says walking back to the window. "It doesn't mean you won't."

I throw up my hands in surrender. " So what now? You want to keep it?"

He does not reply but keeps his face turned away from me. How long will it take him to recover if I stab him? I know places I could stab him and he won't ever be my problem again but I know no temporary places to inflict harm on him.

I feel his precautionary measures are valid. But it does not matter to me. I still want what I want.

I take some steps towards him while raising my gown to withdraw my clasp knife. He immediately turns.

He is holding a gun, pointing at my face. I raise my hands and give him a lopsided smile.

"If you try anything stupid, I'm going to blow your brains out and bury you within these walls. No one will look for you. No one will find you."

It must have been a threat but it seems funny to me so I laugh still holding up my hands. I am not afraid of death. I am just afraid of torture. It is not like my existence matters anyway. I'm just breathing though I'm dead.

"Where did you steal those weapons from?" he asks.

"It's of no use to you."

" Is that what you are going to do?" he says, lowering the gun. He rubs the gun on his head. " I don't even have time for this."

He throws the plastic bag in his other hand and I catch it.

"Zuri said you need sanitary pads."

I grit my teeth together and bite my gums while glaring at him. He is not going to give me my weapons back. I feel more open than I have ever felt in this city. I feel cheated.

"I would leave. Give it back I'll leave."

" You can leave but it's gone."

I bite down on my gum and clench my fists as he begins to approach me. He looks down at me as he crosses and walks towards the door.

"If anything happens to Zuri, I'll kill you."

He has the last word. I just stand there puffing out all the anger inside of me until I feel calm enough to follow him.

I follow him but corner into my room.

He later walks past my room. I wait to know where he is headed then I come out.

He is seated on a stool in the kitchen, looking at me as I come in. He taps the box of cereals on the table. "Come eat."

My eyes could cut him three ways as I observed him trying to reason what sort of kindness he and sister shared.

"I'm not hungry," I say.

"Good," he says nodding. "I do not tolerate violence in this house or rage either so you are going to forget that teddy."

He lowers his gaze. "If you are going to stay here."