Chapter 36 Fools Like Me

Jean's POV

“But she will be alright?” Aaron asked.

“Yes.” Mama Ellena said, exasperated. “She’d probably kick your butts if she hears you worrying like this.”

“Well, that isn’t new at all isn’t it?” Jake sighed. “How’s Eric?”

“He’s ok, been in their since he barged into the house earlier.” Cam sighed. “I’ve spoken to him, I don’t think we need to worry much.”

Anna then move to Siam, “I’m so sorry Siam, I know I said I’ll look after her-“

“It’s ok Anna, it wasn’t your fault, you know how Serenity is.” Siam sighed pulling Anna to his side, “She was probably hiding from you girls.”

“But what was Rham doing here?” Aaron asked. “Eric made it clear that he wasn’t to come back-“

“He was warning Serenity of Yuri’s plan.” Anna said. “He tried.”

“He died.” Jake pointed out, “I think that’s enough to call it quits.”

We all shrugged, tired.

“Would you lot stop moping, you are depressing my place of healing.” Mama Ellena says, “Now, I need to check on the wounded, Serenity will be pretty much asleep for a day or more.” She turns to me, “Can you check on the young lady you brought in?”

“Oh…” everyone turned to me, with a look of pity and worry. I forced a smile at Mama Ellena, “Uhm, yeah, sure thing Mama Ellena.”

“Good, you know where everything you need is.” She says as she make her way to the door. “You lot get some rest.”

“I think I’ll go with Jean.” Aaron says.

“Me too.” Liam said.

“As long as you don’t stress out the patient…” she glanced at me, “kick them out if they do.”

I grinned, “Yes mama Ellena.”

“Good girl.” She smiled and left.

“You sure you want to do this sweety?” Cam asked.

I took a deep breath and nodded, “Well, I can’t just let her go without medical aid, can I?”

“Well, I think one of mama Ellena’s assistant can do it.” Siam says, “I’ll tell her you’re tired from the trip.”

“No guys, I want to do this.” I said.

“You want to do this?” Liam asked. “That girl in there is the one who stole your mate.”

“Then why are you going to see her then?” I asked, Serenity let me in on her little secret. And as smart as Liam is, I can’t believe he still haven’t pieced together the puzzle.

“Well, I was the one who found her, wasn’t I?”

“Yes, and how exactly did you found her, oh great one?” I caught the other smirk as I cross my arms over my chest.

“I followed my instinct.” He said.

“Wow, your instinct must be a hell lot of useful for you seeing that it can find a girl who you have never met before.”

He frowned, “What are you saying?”

I stepped up to him, “You’re the one with the amazing instinct, figure it out yourself.”

I stepped pass him and walked to the other room that would lead to where Cole and the Tasha girl was.

I stopped in front of the door and heard them talking.

“I’m fine Cole, seriously. Stop fussing over me.”

“Well, I can’t help it.” He snapped, “You were kidnapped under my watch, because I was too stubborn to admit that you were right.”

“So you are admitting now that I am right?”

“Yes.” He said in almost a whisper.

I frowned and wanted to help him out of the awkward situation and step into the room. until he broke the silence.

“But I’m not admitting that I’m doing what the fates says so.”

“What?”

“Tasha, I’m not giving in to some stupid thought of a mate knowing that I’m in love with someone else.”

My hand stopped in midair.

“That girl in their stole your mate.” I remember Liam saying.

More like the other way around, my mate was stealing Liam’s mate.

“No Cole.” Tasha says, “Of all people you know I am not one to go against what fate says.”

“And I understand that. I respect that, I just wish you would respect what I believe in.”

“Because what you believe in could hurt someone!” Tasha snaps, “You are hurting a girl that the cosmos had probably molded into perfection for you.”

“Perfection?” he gave a sarcastic laugh, “Yeah right, more of I’m being punished.”

There was another moment of silence, “Don’t do this Cole.”

“It’s already done.” He said.

I stepped away from the door about to retreat when the door opened and I was face to face with Cole. He was as surprised as I was, but I doubt that he was feeling what I was feeling. Cause I’m pretty sure he just didn’t shatter into millions of pieces.

“Uhm, I- I…”

“We were sent to check on her.” I hear Liam behind me.

“Oh…” Cole says still staring at me. “Yeah, go ahead…”

“Jean?” Liam reached for my elbow, holding unto me with just enough power to keep me in my feet.

“Maybe I can help you guys.” I hear Aaron say which snapped me back to reality.

“No, I’m good, you guys should rest.”

“I want to check on her.” Liam says, “I deserve to know.”

“Yeah…” I says a little confuse as I face Cole again and forced a smile, “well, got to work. Excuse me.”

He stepped aside and let me pass, instantly my eyes moved to the beautiful girl sitting in bed watching us.

“Hi.” I walked up to her setting my basket of medicines, ointments and gauze by her feet. “I’m Jean, I’ll be looking after you.”

“Oh, uhm, hi.” She smiled and glanced at Cole who chose to stay and stood at the corner of the room. “I’m Tasha.”

“Well, hi Tasha.” I said shaking hands with her, which caused a blast of cold in my hands, as if ice pricked through my skin.

I pulled away biting away the pain.

“I’m Aaron.” Aaron stepped up and shook her hands as well, while I put on my rubber gloves.

“And I’m Liam.” Liam stood at the other side of the bed watching her intently. “Serenity hasn’t stopped talking about you.”

“I can say the same for you.” Tasha says with a smile, “All of you.” then she turned to me, “I’m sorry Jean, but-“

“I met them after Serenity was abducted.” I explained.

“That’s right.” Aaron says, glancing at Cole, “Jean here escaped some personal drama at home, then was abducted by the hunters.”

“You were?” Tasha asked, surprised.

“Probably thought I was some pick up girl.” I joked.

“Well, she wasn’t.” Aaron said. “She’s actually from a decent line of shifters, unfortunately, her mother was human and well, she was one of those non believers and-“

“Aaron, stop it.” I said.

“What? I was just telling our Jean how cool your story is.”

“It isn’t cool if she was raped under her mother’s orders.” Liam said.

I shrugged, “Could you guys please just leave?”

“What? Why?” Aaron asked. “Tasha seems to be enjoying our story and isn’t stressed at all.”

“Well, I’m stressed with you guys telling a story that you have no right to tell.” I snapped, “Now get out.” I glared at Cole, “All of you.”

“But I-“

“Tasha needs to rest anyways, I’ll be telling her to sleep after I clean her up and fix up her wounds, so I will be kicking you out sooner or later, so let’s just cut to the chase.” I then start to swing my arm gesturing them to leave.

“Jean-“

“I’ll see you boys after I’m done here.” I said, “Now leave.”

Aaron shrugged and let Liam pull him out of the room, but not before he himself glance at Tasha.

Cole was the last one out and gave me a look.

“I’m not stupid.” I whispered to him, “I’m not gonna maul her. I’m not as cold hearted as you are.”

He opened his mouth to retaliate, but I slammed the door in his face.

Then I turned to Tasha, forcing a smile.

“Well, let’s get some work done.” I said.

I checked on her wounds and thought of what I needed to do first. Soon I was working while Tasha lied in her bed quietly.

I had my full attention on what I was doing that I almost forgot who I was healing, if only she kept her mouth shut.

“Can I ask you something Jean?”

I frowned hearing my name slip out of her lips, she was innocent. She wasn’t the one at fault why my mate rejected me. She’s a patient and it’s wrong to pull him into this mess that Cole started.

“Shoot.” I said.

“What happens when a shifter rejects his mate?”

I stopped all together, of course she’ll be asking the million dollar question.

“Why do you ask?” I said and resumed to work, careful to make sure I don’t hurt her when she surprises me again.

She sighed, “Cause Cole won’t tell me.”

“Oh…” well, at least she was honest.

“And please, don’t spare me any details. I really am fascinated by your kind.”

“Well…” I started, “normally, when connection is made, the initial reaction would be to tighten the bond. They would never want to part and the male would probably mark his mate instantly. But if one rejects the other…” I paused remembering the first few days that Cole was running away from me. “The female would weaken physically, later on emotion would take over, from what I have learned she will be forever covered of cold with her wolf as her only companion.”

“And the male?” she asked.

“Well, they sort of got it worse of the deal.” I said.

“What do you mean?”

“I guess I have to start with the fact that male shifters are, well, probably ruled by pride.”

She chuckled, “Yu don’t have to tell me twice.”

I laughed along thinking that she was referring to Cole.

“So how is it worst for them?”

“Well, according to history, when a male shifter is unable to claim his mate, he could die.”

She suddenly sat up, making her groan and I pulled away and stepped back to avoid hurting her by accident. Cole wouldn’t like that.

“Die?”

“That’s what they say,” I said, “I never actually heard of one happening. I mean, example is Eric, he hasn’t claimed Serenity, yet he survived a year.”

“It’s different between them.” she said, “he has Serenity’s wolf.”

“True.” I said gesturing for her to lie back down and she did.

“Why do they die?”

“Cause their wolf die.” I said as I continue to work on the blisters on her back. “Or leave, I’m not really sure which. Either way, when our wolf leaves or dies so does the mortal body.”

“But the wolf and the mortal soul are two different beings-“

“Yet they are half of a whole.” I pointed out, “And as a whole they are half of a bond.”

She was quiet after that and I assumed that her interrogation was done. Until she said the words I dreaded to hear.

“Your Cole’s mate aren’t you?”

I frowned, tightening the grip on the ointment bottle and the wooden cotton bud. I cleared my throat and shook my head to clear it, “Why do you say that?”

“I saw how he reacted,” she said, “how his face turned from confusion to shame.”

“He has nothing to be shameful about.” I said, “And he is far from being confused. He clearly knows what he wants and he is making it possible for him to have that.”

“To have what he want means he’ll never be with you.” she said.

I stopped again, this time, I set down the things I was holding at the table and prepared another ointment, needing to distance myself from her, even just a foot or two.

“I understand what he’s doing.” I said, “I did the same thing when I ran away from home-“

“That was different-

“No it isn’t.” I said, “I put to action what I know was the right thing to do, no one told me to do that, I wanted that.”

“And do you want this?” she dared, “The only thing that is truly and only meant for you, do you want to lose that?”

I turned to her, making sure that my face showed no emotion. “I never had it from the beginning,” she frowned, “I never lost anything.”

I picked up the glass I was holding and handed it to her along with a small glass with a liquid of herbal medicine.

“This will make you sleep while your body rejuvenate and hydrate.” I said.

“How long?”

“Half a day top.” I said, taking off the gloves and tossing it to the trash can.

“No.” she said, “How long have you known.”

I turned to leave, “Since they arrived and I had to heal him.”

I stepped out of the room and closed the door behind me. in an instant I was in all fours running to the forest.

I arrived at the lake that I discovered two months after I arrived here and shifted back to my human form. I stood at the edge of the water and stared at the calm water.

Soon tears were pouring out of me like the Niagara falls, and I was shaking.

Different emotions were running through me, and it was all too confusing that I screamed at the top of my lungs.

I screamed out the pain.

I screamed out my fears.

I screamed out my anger.

I screamed out my fate.

I dropped on my knees and wrapped my arms around me and held myself, crying like I never had.

I have never cried like this, even after what my mother did or even when I was raped. I never thought it was possible, but this was more painful than those moments.

The betrayal of my mother was nothing compared to Cole’s.

I felt like I was cursed to be alone, from now and forever. Even in the after life and when we reincarnate.

“What the hell?!” I screamed. “What did I ever do to you?!” I screamed up at the moon, our supposed Deity. “I did everything that a femme shifter should. I was the one who was done wrong yet I pay for their mistakes?! What the f*ck is up with that?!”

I pounded my fist on the ground.

“Don’t I deserve even just a bit of happiness?” I snapped again, “Just even a moment of satisfaction? Some peace maybe?” new set of tears over came and I bent over, praying that the pain and cold to go away, holding myself together, forcing not to break into more pieces than I already am.

I let the emotion take over, I knew I had to let it go, or I’ll never get through another day with Cole and Tasha. Leaving isn’t an option, Eric and the boys would probably just have the whole country searched for me.

I don’t know what happened next, but the next thing I knew I woke up in my room, safely tucked in my bed. Though I was still in the clothes I was wearing earlier.

I sat in my bed and glanced outside the window, when a knock came to my door. I turned toward the door and saw Jake enter.

“Hey, you ok?” he asked.

“Yeah…” I said. “Just tired.”

He shrugged and sat at the foot of my bed. “You know, he’s crazy to think that he can fight this.”

“I can’t really blame him.” I said. “I mean, look at me Jake.”

“I’m looking and I don’t see anything wrong.” I looked at him, pleading him to tell the truth. He grinned and raised his right hand. “I promise.”

“Then why do people who are supposed to love me rejecting me?”

“Well, maybe because they don’t really love you.” Jake says.

I frowned and looked down at my hand, hearing the truth was different from just realizing it yourself.

“I know it hurts to hear, believe me, when I was running away from Cam? I knew it was stupid, and I was hurting too. The worst part is I couldn’t fight back, ‘cause from the very start I knew I already lost- when all I could think about was her. How amazing and beautiful she was.”

“That’s different,” I said, “you didn’t intend to reject her, you just needed time. Cole is…”

“An as* who doesn’t know what he’s missing cause he never even took the opportunity to know you.” He said. “Listen Jean, it takes two to make a decision here. I was a fool when I thought mating was for losers. Siam was a fool for making Anna wait. Eric was a fool when he allowed Uncle to walk all over him. Liam is a fool to still not see what’s on the tip of his nose. And Aaron, well…” he grinned. “He’s a fool to fall in love to the only person who he can’t make fall in love.”

I frowned. Aaron was in love?

“What I’m saying we were all a fool at some point in our lives.” he chuckled, “Hell, some of us are still are. But it isn’t a mistake to be one, to be a fool meant you took the risk to get what you wanted. What you needed. This isn’t just for him to decide this is your life too.”

He stood up and reached for me; kissing me on the forehead before he whispered, “The Jean I met was a kick ass girl with a bad mouth and an attitude to match. I’m not saying go all whorish again,” I laughed as he gave me a scolding look, but ended up as a playful one, “just get your spunk back.”

I smiled and nodded.

“Good.” He said as he stepped back and ruffled my hair, “Aaron is on his way up with the whole buffet table. He said you haven’t eaten since we arrived yesterday morning and Mama Ellena can’t have you getting sick, you are officially on princess and guest duty.”

I shrugged, “I’m fine, tell Aaron not to bother.” He gave me another look, making me laugh again. “Ok, so maybe he can bring me a plate.”

“I’ll tell him.” he says as he make his way to the door, “Might tell him to bring two, I’m pretty sure he’ll end up eating yours.”

I laughed remembering Aaron’s unusual; large appetite that doesn’t reflect his god-like body.

“I think that’s a good idea.” I said.

“Good night, lil miss.” He says.

I grinned, remembering how he teased me before by calling me inappropriate titles of ladies in court when Anna started to teach me of the royal ways.

“Off you go, you over grown man, find your lass and tell her how lucky she is.”

“Oh, I have other ideas of telling her.” he says.

I rolled my eyes, “And the old Jake is back.”

He chuckled and stepped out of the room.

“Oh, hey…” He turned around with one brow raised, “Who brought me home?”

“Eric and Aaron.” He said. “Seriously, I don’t know what you did, but you have that two whipped. I’m not sure if Serenity would be happy about that, but as long as you keep your hands to yourself, I don’t think there’ll be any problem.”

I laughed and pitched a pillow at him, “Get out of here.” he laughed and tossed the pillow back to me, leaving me thinking of what he said.

I slumped back in bed, my head hitting the pillow, I grabbed another one and put it over my face and screamed again and hit my fist on my sides until I felt better.

For a few minutes I laid still, staring at the ceiling, then I sat up in an Indian sit and made my decision.

To fight for him would make me a fool, then again, I’d be a fool not to.

Suddenly the door swung open with Aaron carrying a tray, glass and vase toppled over the food.

“What the h*ll Aaron?” I decided to tease him, “You ruined my first breakfast in bed.”

“She just woke up.” he said. “Serenity’s awake.”