I'm sorry...

RIX’s P.O.V.

I saw him, drunk.

Why are tears approaching?

I can't stop it. It keeps on streaming down. Am I a fucking asshole?

A stupid woman?

Why am I doing this to myself?

And why am I feeling this?

A shit!

I tried to look again at the hole.

I saw nothing anymore.

The girl is gone so I went outside to check if Apollo is awake.

But he's not.

He probably drank too much alcohol to be awake by now.

Going home must've been a nightmare for him.

Harley calling…

I answered the phone.

"Do you want to go here?" He asked as soon as I answered.

I thought about it for a second. I thought about the things I would reply to.

"Is there an exciting event in there?" I asked.

"Of course! You know there's always something new you could only see, exclusively in this very club. Besides, your husband must be sleeping by now. "

Harley is good at convincing huh? I won't deny it.

He must've undergone the practice.

"But what if something happened?" I asked.

"For once, think about no one, but you. You've had a lot of problems. There's nothing wrong with sacrificing to feel happy."

Harley was right.

Since my brother was taken to the hospital, I've never had the chance to keep up with my friends, with the hangouts and everything.

"I'll think about it!" I said.

"HEY!" He shouted.

"God, why do you have to shout that loud?" I asked

"I'm sorry, I thought you would hang up without a warning."

"Alright, Harley, but I didn't. So tell me, what is it?" I asked.

"I miss you. Please come tonight. I need to tell you something."

My heart thumps so fast.

I can't even reply as soon as I've heard him say that.

What the hell?

"Uhmm… " I uttered. "Is it that important for me to go there?"

He took a deep sigh.

"Yes. So please come, okay?"

"Alright. "

I was about to hang up before that, I said, "I miss you too, Harley."

I was smiling as I hung up.

I know that.

Honestly, I won't deny the fact that I like Harley.

For a short period of time, the moment we met, I knew we were a match.

I knew we were gonna be each other's safe places, and we'd be able to read our minds.

We cared for each other, and it's the main reason we kept on checking on one another.

Then I looked at Apollo

This guy who keeps on turning me on, fucking me the way he wants with gently and care… the way he handles my body and everything…

I don't know what I feel anymore. I don't know who owns my heart if it's Apollo or Harley— I still don't know.

He awakens every single part of my personality that had been locked for a very long time.

I never thought I would be able to unlock it.

"Hmmm," he grunted as I caressed his cheeks.

Darn, I can't help.

I slapped him REAL HARD.

I didn't expect he would be awake because of it.

He was intoxicated by the alcohol, how did he feel that?

"Damn you!" he shouted

"Just sleep there, slut," I said.

It's weird.

Where the hell did I get the guts to say that?

A few hours after thinking about a lot of things, I decided to sleep.

There are so many things to think about tomorrow.

I will withdraw from his offer of doubling the payment.

***

Tomorrow, after I woke up, he's gone again.

What should I do?

There's nothing else to do in his house but just lie down.

So I've decided to visit Charis and I will work tonight. yes! That's it.

Instead of thinking of unnecessary weird and confusing emotions, I'll just think about something else.

"What did he say?" asked Charis.

I was eating chips before answering her questions.

"I didn't come," I said.

I was talking about Harley when he asked me to go to the bar.

"Why?! Gosh! He must've thought about it."

"Then he should wait. That way, he could prove to me if he's worth the wait or not. If it's worth it to be in a relationship in this very confusing era of my life."

Charis took a deep sigh, and she tapped my shoulder, caressing it now.

"I always admired your bravery. I never thought you could reach this far with your sacrifice."

I smiled. "And I'm proud of me too because someone like you reminds me what kind of person I am."

"What do you mean?", she asked.

I looked at her. "Sometimes, I was blinded by the fact that I'm just a worker. I'm a slave of my problems. I was living because of problems, and I'm bound to die solving problems. Someone like you reminds me I'm a precious jewel, that solving problems to eternity could be beautiful."

She smiled.

I suddenly felt I had another sibling other than Andrei.

We both decided to sleep in her apartment.

But honestly, I can't sleep.

I'm not thinking of anything.

My body just resists resting.

Ha…

Until when?

I can't remember the last time I've been in peace.

"BEATRIX!"

What the?!

"GO OUT! BEATRIX FERNANDO! COME OUT OR I WILL PULL YOUR HAIR!"

Charis was awakened.

It's not even passing an hour and there's a sudden interruption? Gosh.

"BEATRIX!"

"I'm here! COULD YOU WAIT?"

When I went out.

I was shocked.

It was Apollo.

He was fuming.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?! Why did you have to shout and embarrass me at my friend's house?" I whispered, but it was almost above it because there was a hint of raising my voice.

He pulled my arm forcibly somewhere.

I can't believe this, he's hurting me.

"What's wrong with you, Apollo?" I asked.

He finally let me go.

"Did you use the stove before you left the house?" he asked.

I tried to remember.

But…

"Uhm, I was about to, but I don't know how so I've decided to leave it like that. So apparently I did—"

He raised his hand and was about to punch me, but he stopped right before it reached my eyes.

He then continued that punch into the wall.

"What do you want?" I asked, cracking my voice.

"Did you know that you almost killed my family?"

"W-What? But I'm pretty sure it never flickered."

He smirked. "That's because you always think highly about yourself. You didn't think of someone else just to prove you can do everything by yourself!"

He went closer to me.

"I'm trying my best to hold my anger. Do your best too!"

He was aggressive in every word, but the way he talked to me, although it was difficult, he managed to make it calmer.

He managed to be gentle.

His eyes were red, watery, and exasperated.

But he's not showing a manly side to him just to prove he is capable of killing me.

"I'm sorry…" I said, looking downward.

"If something bad has already happened, does your sorry could bring them back?" he asked. "Think about it."

I can't help these tears again.

Why are my tears won't scarce? It always has a supply.

Are my eyes only made with the purpose of crying?

I can smile too. using these eyes.

The little tears turned into a bursting cry.

I was stuttering, "I'm sorry… please forgive me. I was too narrow-minded. I don't know everything. But I just wanted to give your grandma and mother a coffee. I wanted to serve them but… but…"

I shook my head. "It's not my intention. I'm sorry."

Am I breaking down?

Charis went out.

"Go away," she said.

I'm pretty sure the reason why Charis just went out now is that maybe she dressed up.

She was sleeping with her undies on only.

I knelt down.

"Forgive me, Apollo —"

"STAND UP!" he shouted, but I didn't follow him.

Instead, he was the one who stood me up.

He doesn't know what to do.

All of a sudden, he gave me his handkerchief.