Chapter 5

I had at least walked 500 times in and around my house in order to calm myself down and come up with a solution to all this brouhaha but I found none. I had no courage to tell the truth because the outcome of it was known. With every passing second, I feared the worst and when I could take no more, I stepped out of the house for a breath of fresh air and a new perspective. I walked aimlessly on the streets taking in nothing, neither the sights, the noise nor the people that surrounded me.

When my feet could no more carry the agony of my heart, it stopped at the doorstep of a building I was consciously trying to avoid. I stood outside Jigar's office contemplating whether meeting him would be the right thing to do. I did not want to add fuel to fire but my heart knew that my mind would be at peace only when I had spilt the weighing burden of my heart to my best friend. I was yearning for a perspective that could only come from Jigar.

I did not deliberate much and was soon at the reception asking for Jigar to be summoned immediately from whichever meeting he was in. The receptionist eyed me sceptically wondering whether to yield to me or not. I am sure no girl would have ever commanded her with the authority I did. It was my very first visit to Jigar's office. We followed a protocol and stuck to it. While we met at restaurants and fancy cafes, we never made public appearances in front of our own people, out of the fear of the known. I had stayed away from his office as much as possible avoiding becoming the fodder for gossip. It was a production house and tongues wagged unnecessarily over the most trivial of issues. Journalist friends of the PR team were always around the corner to lap up a fast-selling story. And I didn't want to be the next headline, 'Bhansali Scion Dating a Nobody'.

Jigar wasn't media-shy but I guess he avoided the media glare as much as possible. He often wanted me to accompany him to parties but I preferred staying away. Our not appearing together bothered him at some level but he also understood the need to shield me from the prying eyes of thousands of cameras that kept on bugging until the next interesting thing was found. He hadn't made a mark in Tollywood for himself with any hit film as a producer and so he was not yet hogged by the paparazzi to an extreme extent. However, he did come under the scrutinizing eyes of the industry and the people when his mother announced his taking over the reins of the production house from her.

I had my own theory why he wasn't interesting for the papz, he wasn't the conventional big shot, handsome bastard. He was as plain as I was and therefore had not caught the eye of the friendly cameras at the parties.

The receptionist picked up the phone and dialled Jigar's office's extension. She was hesitant about disturbing him, but my authoritative glare made her squirm and follow my orders respectfully.

"Sir is busy in an important meeting. Why don't you wait?"

I gave her a death glare that conveyed how dare she kept me waiting. I despised when people showed their high handedness to me. What an ironic situation it was!

I picked up the phone and asked her to dial the same extension. She did so meekly while rolling her eyes at me. Was Jigar so scary in the office? I mean he could not even argue with me and here she was shaking at the repercussion of disturbing him in a stupid meeting. The phone was picked up within two rings. I did not wait for the other person to say hello.

"Listen Jigar you better meet me in two minutes, or the consequences would be not under any of ours control." I was acting like a bitch. Why was I being so haughty and why did I act like I owned Jigar as my own?

I did not have to wait at all. As soon as I kept the receiver back in its place, I saw a shocked Jigar walking towards me in long strides. He ran his hand through his hair and looked exasperated.

"Abhi, what the fuck?" he mouthed under his breath.

"Hey," I said coolly avoiding his death stare.

Jigar looked at the receptionist who was keenly looking at us and fishing for more information.

He smiled and that was it. I knew he wasn't angry at me for barging into his workplace.

"Reena, she is my best friend Abhilasha. Never stop her from coming to my office, she needs no permission and please ignore her haughtiness. And I am sorry if she had crossed the line in anger and stopped you from doing your job. You need not be scared of such bullies."

I raised my eyebrows at him in mock anger and he stifled a laugh. Reena was glued to us.

Jigar took my hand and showed me into his office.

"Why are you acting lovelorn?"

"I am."

I snaked my hand out of his and shot darts with my eyes.

"Just kidding, man! Come."

I walked behind him slowly with my head low, avoiding the stares. Why were they looking at me? I wasn't a flowerpot to be stared at, neither was I a walking antique piece that garnered maximum attention in a museum. It was weird to have all the eyes on me. Jigar simply answered it for me.

"They haven't seen any girl (friend) around me here. So, I guess the curiosity is natural."

I rolled my eyes in irritation, why was that news to me. I let the comment pass without any remarks.

Jigar's office was huge in space but crammed with furniture everywhere. While every piece of furniture was exquisite, it seemed out of place and forced into existence in the room. The walls were stark white and adorned with posters of the films he loved from his production house in black frames. There was a large desk, neat and clean with no files or papers going astray. His mean Apple laptop was placed at the table adjacent to the couch where I presumed, he sat down to have his meals or chat with his guests comfortably. The couch was plush with leather upholstery and screamed discomfort from the moment I had a look at it. I would rather prefer the beanbag that was lying in a corner. Jigar loved to snooze on it or relax with his iPad on it while binging on all his K series.

There was nothing that could speak of his personal contribution to the decoration of his office. There wasn't a single photograph of his parents or his family. The only photograph of his family member I saw was in the form of a film poster in which his grandfather starred as an actor. Just spoke volumes about his relationship with his family- so cold and non-committal in contrast to our warm and loving relationship. I was brought out of my trance when Jigar coughed for my attention.

I grinned.

"Coffee? And Calzones?"

"No." I shook my head in dismissal trying to let him know how low I was feeling that even food could not cheer me up. He came next to me and stood for more than a minute waiting for me to pour my heart out. But I just couldn't.

"Will you tell me what it is, or should I dismiss you? I am not free to entertain you in my office." His words were sharp, and they hit me hard with a jolt. I hadn't expected him to be rude at a moment like this in my life.

I simply stood astounded.

"I am sorry to disturb you. I will leave."

He understood I was hurt but made no move. I took it as a cue for me to leave.

"Wait Abhilasha! Why do you want me to prod you? Why can't you simply blurt out what is worrying you?"

I wanted to snap but I refrained. I was pained to see him dismissing me when my life depended on him for answers to understand what I was going through.

Jigar held me and with utmost concern made me sit on that uncomfortable couch.

"I am sorry. I am just scared what if my mom comes to know about you visiting me in the office. You know the office rumour mills has got me worked up."

"Ohh Jigar, I am so sorry I came in unannounced without giving it a thought." His behaviour was totally justified. "I always forget in my own misery that I can land you in a soup with your family."

Jigar smiled. "No need. Now will you open your fucking mouth, or I need to be a little more arrogant."

I grinned from tooth to ear.

"Jigar I am a mess, emotionally and financially. While my parents haven't yet agreed to my shifting to Mumbai, they have asked me to come up with a plan for my survival." I blurted out in one breath.

Jigar just heard me out with no inputs.

"I am not receiving any stipend for my work there and I cannot expect any money from my father, so how do I survive."

He nodded with an understanding.

"So, what is your plan?"

"I don't know."

"And that is not a good enough answer for uncle and aunty."

"Precisely why I am worrying my head over this. And despite it, I cannot ignore the reality of it too. How would I survive without money?"

"Where are you planning to stay?"

"At Jivy bua's place but as a paying guest. I cannot expect her to take me in for free and that too for six months."

He was in deep thought and after taking a prolonged time for rumination on the serious topic he spoke something which was demeaning and utter rubbish, "I have an apartment in Mumbai but I won't be able to lend it to you."

"I am not asking for it."

"I know I am just speaking my thoughts out loud to find a solution."

"Okay."

"You can't tell your parents about the money situation; you have no savings and yet you want to go to Mumbai."

"It does not require a genius like you to spell it out so correctly." It was my sarcastic best retort.

"How do I help?"

"Just help me put a plan together to convince my mother and father."

"Are you nuts you want to go all the way to Mumbai with no money in your pocket? You jackass how will you survive?" He bawled at me.

"Mind your language."

I saw him taking deep breaths and calming down before opening his mouth again.

"Abhi, listen this has nothing to do with me not happy about you going. But I want you to snap out of your dream and think practically. Survival in Mumbai won't be easy. It is much expensive than Kol."

It wasn't as this realization hadn't dawned on me, but I did not want to give up on my dream.

"Jigar I agree I have to be practical and that is why I came to you. Do something."

"Will you... take money from me?"

I know where his scepticism to suggest something like this came from.

"I do not want to hurt your self-esteem Abhi, but this is the only way I can help." After a long pause, he added, "You can return me the money once you start earning. And I am sure there won't be a dearth of opportunities for you to earn well in Mumbai. Besides you won't need a big sum with your miser ways."

I could not speak. Had I not been desperate I would have never agreed to even hear such a ludicrous proposition. I had no choice but to hear him if not accept his proposal. I had no other friends to go to for help. Jigar was the only one I looked up to in need. I bit my tongue and clucked it with no definite answer.

I felt so shallow at that moment. I had stooped so low to come begging to Jigar for money. And perhaps this was the only way I could go to Mumbai with the security of surviving there without any qualms. Words would have hurt my ego and bruised our friendship and despite the lowliness of my deed, my heart felt a surge of love for my friend who always went out of his way to help me.

I closed the distance between us and for the first time in many years of our friendship, I hugged him and hugged him hard. He was taken aback by my gesture. I sprang my hands around his neck and cried. These were tears of humiliation and pride pricking at the corner of my eyes and I let them flow uninhibitedly. I sniffled into his neck. He placed his hand on my back and soothed me with words of understanding that borrowing money from friends was no big deal. And we were best friends forever at the end of the day. Our moment was broken when the door was opened.

I unlocked myself from his embrace and stood with my head down to clear the remnants of the tears that had stayed on my face. When I looked up, I found a bewildered Jaideep Sahani in front of us. Luck could not have gone worst. I groaned inwardly for having taken the liberty to get intimate with Jigar in his office. I had no clue how Mr Sahani would interpret this.

He stiffened at the door for a few seconds. I did not see the son and father speak but there were cold vibes emanating from both of them. I hated to be the reason for their misunderstanding and offered to clear his doubts. I opened my mouth to speak but shut it as soon as I got nudged by Jigar.

"I seem to have disturbed you guys in a very private moment. I am sorry for the interruption but I need a minute with you Jigar." His words were as hostile as his behaviour.

Jigar merely nodded his head in agreement.

"Jaideep Uncle, I don't want to sound rude, but I think you have misinterpreted the scene that just took place. It was a friendly hug between the two of us and nothing more. There is nothing going on between the two of us and I can assure you, we are just best friends."

He walked in smiling at me. He looked at Jigar in a way that emanated simple fury and wrath.

"Nothing to worry about Abhilasha. I haven't misunderstood a thing. I know it was platonic and I don't care for you to elaborate on that." He shifted his attention to me and stood near me that was too close for my comfort.

I stiffened under his penetrating gaze. I found something wrong in the way he looked at me. I felt uncomfortable. He was drawing out energy which gave me cold feet. I took two steps back holding on to my breath for the fear of the unknown. Mr Sahani swooped the distance between us in a stride. He took my face in his hands and kissed me on my forehead. I was taken aback by the sudden liberty he took with me. He ran his hand on my face which lingered uncomfortably for an extra second or two more than it was necessary.

I could not move. Jigar broke the moment with the terse, "Let's go," to his father.

Mr Sahani left but not without giving me a look that I could not interpret. Though his words, "all the best and I'll see you around," were pretty normal but it didn't sound normal to me. There seemed to be a cryptic meaning to his parting words. I stood there perplexed wondering what transpired between him and me that made me keep on thinking that there was something wrong and worrying about this entire episode. I could not put a finger to it but my brain screamed warning signals at me and I did listen to them. I made up my mind that very second to avoid him as much as possible next time and be extremely careful around him. I felt he transgressed the line by kissing me. Though kissing on the head is an endearing action from someone of his age, I felt goosebumps when he touched me. I tried pushing the incident out of my head but simply could not. My mind was overworked thinking in hundreds of different directions in a matter of split seconds but I was completely sure of the fact that the gesture on his part was unhealthy and encroaching on my personal space.