Chapter Thirty Two- The Devil She Doesn't Know Part Three

I mean if a stranger can work me out that easily, does it mean my mother has long been aware of my attraction towards her husband? Did she notice the first time I developed a crush on him when I was fifteen?

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Coming here was pointless, I am not going to let loose and enjoy myself at all with all these dooming thoughts at the back of my mind. Every other second I kept imagining the Devil arriving at the hotel, coming into my room and discovering that I am not sound asleep in my bed as I should be. I had to keep reminding myself not to let my fears get the better of me, even though I could not help but to constantly look over my shoulder to check if the source of my discomfort had still not made itself apparent. jon even caught on to my discomfort and assured me that the woods are safe and are not inhabited by any dangerous wild animals and in fact led to a hiking trail so his family likes to take morning jogs down the path. Despite him assuring me that I had nothing to worry about, I still felt like I was being watched, like every movement of mine was being steadily monitored. I texted Varto and asked him if he was lurking around and he affirmed me that he was still in position at the location I had told him to wait for me at.

So it is not Varto keeping an eye on me….

I thought of calling the hotel and asking if my father had returned, but I did not want to alarm Jon neither did I want to frighten myself by getting the confirmation I was fearing. Then Macheno came to mind, but I did not think it too probable, The Devil has never had him keeping an eye on me and I have a suspicion that he is wherever my father is.

It appeared I was back in Jon's good graces as he introduced me to the people at gathering, of course not mentioning any of my names, even though they offered theirs. I was surprised that majority were males possibly in their early twenties and there was not a single person from school I could recognise. I got a very warm reception, they were a group of laid-back people with an almost specious charm, just as Jon had promised. Although, at some point, I suffered a lot of analyzing stares from Jon's three brothers. He had promised me that he had not revealed my identity to them, but I could not help but get the sense that they knew me and did not like me as much as the rest of the people of Bervon, if I must put it lightly. Not a lot of people had put a lot of effort in piecing together their outfit though, especially Jon's brothers, they looked more like haggard lumberjacks than the 'unshifted lycan' look they were trying to sell. Surprisingly, my costume was the most daring, although some girls were practically in lingerie and calling the scanty pieces of leather and lace costumes.

Even if I were to wear the most 'decent' looking pieces from the bunch, daddy would not be happy at all, unless he remained convinced that only his eyes will see me and have seen me in such slutty get- up. I would say he prefers me docile, chaste and as innocent as innocent can be, so I do not need to wear anything slutty to get his attention. I am his Angel, dressed like a little devil vixen. If he were to see me in this outfit, he would not be proud, but I am certain I would set his eyes ablaze.

I cannot say that in those two to three hours I spent conversing with several strangers but being too shy and awkward to participate in the raunchy games that were doing rounds; that I got the full, unrestrained, wild teenager experience. I was enjoying myself, but my tense stance made it difficult for me to milk any moment for all that's it is worth. I was offered alcoholic drinks to loosen up, but I did not accept any of them, fearing the stupidity the alcohol might bring out of me and my intolerance as well. I have been to many 'adult' functions since I was sixteen, mostly accompanying my father, but I have not had even a drop of champagne or any other alcoholic drink in my mouth, so when it comes to alcohol, I know to be wise.

"So you do not drink, you do not smoke, you do not want to play games, what do you want to do?" One of the few girls, Dyne, if I remembered her name correctly, threw her arm over my shoulders, her speech slurring. She was clearly inebriated and had a grin fixed on her face.

I shrugged my shoulders, trying to subtly create some distance between us as she threatened to cling onto me even more. "I am just not in the mood tonight, I am having some.. problems..." I lied, but that awakened the therapist in her I would have never imagined her having.

"Boy problems?" She immediately assumed and I nodded my head. "Oh, babe, trust me, we have all been there, men are fucking bastards, but we can't stay away now can, we?" She puffed out air in dramatic fashion, before she hauled me over to the side of the cabin away from all the noise. "So, what's gotten you so down?" She asked with the most serious look in her eyes, in that moment looking less drunk, like she had sobered up. "Come on, you can tell me anything, nothing you say will leave these woods, I promise you." She urged upon noticing my reluctance. I contemplated, but quickly decided on unloading my thoughts on her, because she is a stranger, I am a stranger to her and she will probably not remember this in the morning.

"Well... there is this man that I really..." I trailed off, not knowing how to phrase it. I made a second attempt after she told me to continue. "I do not know how to put it... I just... he does something to me and I thought that if I shift my focus elsewhere, I will get him out of my system, but he is all I can think about.. I do not even like Jon... okay, I like him as a person, but I do not want him, my body does not crave him.... jeez I am such a slut! All I can think about is him touching me... is him.... I do not think I will ever want a man so badly again...." I could no longer lie to myself, everything I had done, all the steps I had taken were in vain. Being all over Jon has not made me want the Devil any less, I thought the feeling would change with time; but I do not want any other man's attention, I only want the Devil.

Dyne nodded her head slowly, humming sympathetically, like she could relate. "I tried that as well, I tried to replace one fucker with another fucker, but it is true what they say; the heart wants what it fucking wants, so do not deny it. If you want him, then by all means, have him." I shook my head at her words, I actually wanted to laugh at her because she did not understand how complicated my relationship with this 'man' was.

Dyne shocked me by reading me so well, she only gazed at me intently for a few seconds before asking, "You are just like me, aren't you? You want the ones you cannot have and should not want?"

I did not immediately admit to it, because I was busy asking myself if I am that easy to read. I mean if a stranger can work me out that easily, does it mean my mother has long been aware of my attraction towards her husband? Did she notice the first time I developed a crush on him when I was fifteen? The thought was utterly frightening.

"Yes... I tried my hardest to stop myself from feeling this way, but he has not been making it any easier for me... I do not want to hurt anyone, but I want to explore these feelings so badly, I do not know what I am going to do honestly."

"Same here." Dyne sighed deeply, her blithely grin returning. "Trust me when I say, I understand. I care for my boyfriend deeply, but all I can think about is his fine ass father and I know he wants me too... that is the problem. I do not want to lose Vin, but I also do not want to give up my pursuit of his father. It is fucked up. So who is fucking you up?"

"I think I have it worse," I also exchanged her the same sigh of deeply sourced frustration, "he is my father... okay, well not my father by blood, more like my step-father, my mother's husband... but I was raised to regard him as my father and in a twisted way, I like having to acknowledge him that way... it is fucked up, I know. The fact that he is forbidden, makes me want him even more, I am like a moth drawn to a flame, the hotter it gets, the closer I get. I have always been fascinated by him, I mean he scares the shit out of me, but I wouldn't change him for the world. He is the hottest man I have ever encountered on this earth and trust me when I say there is no other man like him in this universe. Our relationship is very strange, stranger than I can explain... and I love it that way. I swear he is going to turn me into the biggest whore there is, just look at me, I have been fantasising about him fucking me for the whole day, days even. I do not understand his relationship with my mother, but I know it means something to her, so I cannot go there, no matter how badly I want to. I just want him to notice me, maybe play this game with him, play with fire but not get close enough to get burned..."

Dyne smacked her lips, her eyes dropping as she slanted into the wall of the cabin to steady herself. "Just fuck him, you are going to eventually, so just to through with it and make sure you do not get caught and another thing is, you cannot under any circumstances get pregnant, because then shit will blow up in your face. If he already has made hints that he wants you, then seducing him should be easy. Go for it, who knows, maybe you just need to get that dick once to never want it again."

Dyne was right, I had went about this the wrong way. I need to get him to fuck me, so I can get him out of my system. I will never get him out of my mind as long as I keep wondering how it would be to finally have him.

Well I have certainly fucked up, this is going to make him even more angrier and I doubt that anger will provoke the desired reaction out of him.