62

MIRELLA :

"Have you thought about what kind of dress you want to wear? The ball is special, you should look the prettiest of all."

balls ? But I'm not even part of his gang.

"I should go with you?" I ask confused and turn to him. I didn't even know that I should go with you.

I don't have a dress that would go to a ball. I don't even know where to get one.

"Sure, you're part of my gang. It is your duty to come. You can't miss the day. All you have to do is decide what you want to wear. I'll take care of the rest. I have some very talented tailors in mind who have made some beautiful dresses."

What ?

"So you've had a real girlfriend who you made nice dresses for..."

"No, I'm the one who gets the clothes for the women. In my gang everyone should have their own custom made dress and everyone has one for this year except you."

This is so cute. He buys clothes for his female members.

"Whether you want to admit it or not, you're something of a gentleman after all."

"I doubt it."

Does he?

"And I didn't doubt it for a second. I've never seen a man buy a handmade dress for every woman who works for him... You should stop pretending you're just that cold and dangerous Noah. I know that you want to stay away from everyone as much as possible because otherwise it could be dangerous for you... but... not everyone is evil Noah and I can assure you that these people, the ones down there working out, doing an assignment or just sitting in their room because they are there for you after work. They will stand by you in any difficult situation. I see how much they like you. You are a role model for many down there. Maybe you should think about it."

As strong as he seems, his life is controlled by fear and probably his past too, and he needs to change that or he will end up sad and alone.

For minutes he stands silently in front of me and just stares at me.

"Why am I even telling you this? It's not going to change you and your view of life anyway." I whisper and just want to walk past him when he suddenly grabs my wrist and pulls me into a hug.

I raise my eyebrows in surprise and slowly wrap my arms around him. Fuck, he's naked and so am I.

Maybe I shouldn't have discussed it here, but I didn't think he would react to it anyway.

"What color do you want your dress to be?" he asks quietly in my ear.

"You decide. I've never been to a ball. I don't know how pompous it is."

"So I can choose one?" he asks hopefully. Almost as if he had hoped for something like that.

I nod slightly and feel a gentle kiss on my shoulder.

"Okay, so it's my job to get you dressed for the ball. It's probably the best job I've had so far," he jokes.

I chuckle softly and close my eyes. The hug is nice. I wish I could stay like this forever.

"Mirella?"

"Hmm...?" I murmur with my eyes closed.

"II..." he begins, but is interrupted by one of his gang.

"Boss, I really don't want to bother you, but there's a problem... a-a damn big one!" a man shouts in panic, knocking on the door several times.

"Santino." Noah hisses annoyed and takes a step back.

"Shower over. Do me a favor and stay in the room!"

How so ?

I start to nod slightly and watch him step out of the shower, wrap a towel around his waist, and then leave the room.

What does Santino want from him? Apparently this guy just makes trouble!

NOAH :

"Ah, there he is, and freshly showered too." he states with a smile.

What is he doing here? He knows full well that he shouldn't mess with me.

"Didn't I tell you not to come here?" I ask him irritably, sitting down across from him.

"Hmmm, you did, but you should know best that we mafiosos don't listen to anyone. Especially not on our enemies. How is your pretty Mirella?" He provokes.

If he doesn't shut his fucking face up, he's dead.

"You want to die, don't you? You're walking into my..."

"Did you know she already has a boyfriend?" he interrupts me.

What ? She did not ! She told me that herself...

"Get the fuck out of here Santino."

He really lowers that he threw me off with that?

"She has a child."

She did not. I know that.

"Married, but he's currently traveling because he's got a job that requires him to be."

Lie.

"He always sends her money and they text each other. I found it about two..."

"ENOUGH!" I yell furiously through the hall and get up with a jerk.

shit !

A smile forms immediately on Santino's lips.

"Love.... isn't she beautiful?" he asks with a grin and stands up as well.

"Enjoy it ! She might not be with you any longer. It's only a matter of time before someone takes it from you, no matter what."

I do not love.

"If you're thinking that I see Mirella as more than a fuck object, then you're wrong. do you know what she is A slut. A slut who sold herself to pay off her parents' debt. She's a nobody and always will be." I hiss angrily.

Lies, all lies, but I can't help it. I have to protect her.

He looks past me with a grin. "Did you hear, sweetie?" he asks.

My eyes widen.

No...

My eyes slowly wander back.

No, I lied.

"Ella..."

"Why did I bother trying to get along with you when I'm just an object for you anyway?" she hisses softly and runs back into the room.

She misunderstands. Santino is such a jerk.

"And now fix that, Noah." Santino whispers, laughing, and walks out of the hall, confident of victory.

Such a shit... What have I done?

***

"Ella, wait! I'm sorry, okay? There's a reason I talk to him about you like that."

Does he think I don't know? I'm not stupid. He's doing this to protect himself and me, but it still hurts to hear that. Does he think I'm doing this voluntarily? All I want is to pay my father's debts!

"I don't give a fuck, Noah! it hurts, okay? I'm not a damn fuck object! I'm human and I have feelings and you're playing with them right now. You often talk to me like that. I'm not doing all this for nothing." I yell at him, crying, and turn away.

Why am I even crying? I shouldn't give a shit about his opinion of me.

"Babe..."

babe How funny he calls me that. Shouldn't I be called a fuck object?

"Ella..." he gently wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me close.

"Leave me!" I hiss and push him away from me. He's being so mean to me. Why is he doing this?

"It's so hard to make friends with her when you're acting like an asshole..."

Suddenly he gently pulls me towards him. He takes my face in his hands and kisses it several times.

“I'm sorry.... I'm so sorry. I know I'm too harsh. It's for your protection only. I swear. I didn't mean to hurt you, do you hear?"

I know...

"Please start being nice to me." I whisper desperately and close my eyes. I don't want him to be that mean to me. I just want to spend time with him and want us to be friends.

"I will ! I promise you. I am sorry."

"Boss, it's time to receive goods." Shadow suddenly says from behind us and looks me straight in the eye as my gaze falls on him.

"I'll be right back. Give me a few more minutes." Noah asks him, giving him a slight nod to make it clear that he should leave. He does as he is told and closes the door behind him.

"I have to accept the goods now. Please stay here in the room and wait for me, okay ? I'll be back in an hour at the latest."

"Okay." I reply, smiling slightly, taking a step back.

He grabs his cigarettes before walking out of the room and leaving me alone.

NOAH :

"I hope everything is there for you." I murmur to Santino and drag on my cigarette.

He's giving me problems. I don't like that. He needs to be gotten out of the way and now is the perfect time to do so. He's only got a few guys with him, and once Santino's done, his guys will beg me for a spot in my mafia.

"You know Santino. Messing with me... is a big mistake my old friend." I say calmly, throwing the fag on the floor and crushing it with my foot.

I sigh and look up into the air for a moment before my gaze wanders back to him "You made that mistake and now guess what punishment you're going to get for it." grinning at my people who immediately draw their guns and open them Santino and his people judge.

"What the shit?" he hisses angrily.

What's that supposed to mean?

"What was the shit supposed to do with my little one? Because of you, she thought she was nothing more than a fuck object for me, but you know, now that you're dying anyway, you can rest assured that there's more going on between her and me."

I probably feel a little more for Mirella. I like spending time with her. I really see her as someone I could be friends with. I haven't had that feeling in years.

"You can't just kill me. We have a deal!" he hisses angrily.

My grin widens.

"Didn't you say yourself not to trust anyone? Especially not the enemies?" I ask him and check the goods.

It's all there.

"Take him out and make him and his people suffer." I order my people and turn away from him.

Mirella must be waiting for me. So I shouldn't make her wait too long.

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT NOAH! YOU WILL REGRET THIS DO YOU HEAR ? YOU WILL GO TO HELL FOR THIS." he yells angrily after me.

In hell ? I've been going through that all my life.

"Save me a seat there, my old friend," I call back, hearing gunshots and screams after I exit the room.

Smiling, I walk through the dark corridors of my hall and enjoy the screaming.

It's a shame, I would have liked to have seen Santino and his people at my ball. Then there are probably places available this time... Maybe I should invite the Fernando Mafia. I'm ready to see Fernando and Catarina. I noticed that I had a crush on Catarina at the time, but you can't call it love. Maybe we can reconnect with each other. After all, Fernando was my mentor.

"You're back already?" asks Mirella in surprise when I come back into the room half an hour later and catch her changing.

"Yep, went faster today."

She nods slightly and follows me with her gaze as I fall onto the bed.

"So Santino didn't cause any more problems?" she asks calmly.

He'll never cause problems again. "He does not have. He probably never will again." I answer and notice how she lies down next to me.

"May I ask you something?" I break the silence after a few minutes.

"Clear."

"What do you know about love?" I ask her softly, staring at the ceiling.

Stupid question, but I don't know what love is... I used to know it... but at some point I forgot how to love.

"What do you mean?" she asks confused.

Smiling, I turn my face to her and look into her eyes. "How does it feel when you're in love with someone, Mirella?" I ask more specifically.

What is love and how does it work?