64: Explanations and confusions.

KIKI.

I cried so much when I got home. I just couldn’t believe he could open his mouth to speak to me that way. I just couldn’t believe it.

“You are not my girlfriend, Kiki.”

Those words brought tears to my eyes. He was right. I wasn’t his girlfriend. I had no right. I deserved no explanation.

But that didn’t mean it hurt less. If anything, it hurt a lot. A lot more than it was supposed to hurt.

“What we had, what we did was just a fling. A stupid fling that doesn’t matter to me.”

His voice and the tone he used to say it kept ringing in my brain. It kept hitting my soft spot and kept opening the well in me.

Thankfully when I got home I hadn’t met Jojo at home. He must be out with Clara. I was sure they weren’t going to return yet so I was free to cry all I want.

It wasn't until I finished crying that I started to think things through. I didn’t have to quit right? I was out for the money and not for love. Why had I lost my good-paying job because of this?

This job could pay off my dad’s debt in a few months. It could pay for a lot of things and have our lives changed for the better. I wasn’t supposed to quit just like that.

I wasn’t.

I guess his words just sliced through me. Who was I kidding? It did. Now, I had lost my job with nothing to do.

Where was I going to get a job that paid as much as that with little to no qualifications? Only Giovanni could offer to pay that much. Nobody else would. But I had quit the job and wasn't going to get it back. And I would never beg for it.

It would be the last thing I would do.

I bit my lower lip just as a knock came on the door. I put down the glass of water I had fetched for myself and got on my feet. I wondered who was at the door. It couldn’t be Jojo cos he would just help himself in with his key.

So, who was it?

I wiped my face even though it was dried. I went to open the door afterward with a cautious mind. But who I saw at the door wasn’t who I would expect to see in a hundred years.

Giovanni stood tall in his grace staring at me. After I recovered from my few seconds of shock, I hissed and slammed the door in his face. I clasped a hand over my mouth and rested my frame on the door.

What was he doing here?

My heart was beating erratically in my chest and I didn’t know how to feel about that. I placed my hand on my chest to still my racing heart.

“Kiki, please.” His voice shook as he begged me. I ignored him.

“Kiki, please, open the door.” He pleaded. Sweat broke out on my palms and I wiped it on one of my dad’s oversized old tops which I had slipped on.

“Kiki, please. Hear me out.” He pleaded a lot more times after that. He sounded genuine pleading with me so I decided to hear him out after he convinced me that he was with my paycheck. I let out a sigh and undid the lock.

I opened the door for him and stepped aside for him to come in. He walked in quickly like he was afraid I would change my mind.

“Hand me my paycheck and leave,” I told him, stretching out my hand for him.

“I’m not a cheat, Kiki.” He began and I eyed him. “If I was in a relationship with Fifi, I would never have cheated on her. It’s all a misunderstanding. Please, hear me out.” He pleaded.

I wasn’t even ready to listen to any shit now. So, I turned around to seat on my worn-out coach. I noticed his eyes on me all through. He was probably eyeing me through the skimpy clothes I had on.

“I have no iota of feelings for Fifi. Yes, we are betrothed to each other. We are couples. That’s what the world seemed to say but between each other, we are nowhere near there.” He sounded tired.

“I’m sorry, Kiki. I am.” He sighed. “I shouldn’t have said those things. You deserve none of it and if I can, I will take it back right now.” He sounded genuine as he lapsed his hands together to apologize to me. I watched him feeling tears pool in my eyes.

But I wasn’t going to cry. Not today again.

“Fifi may care about me. She is obsessed with me cos she’s had this perfect image of us in her head since we were kids but to her, I’m nowhere close to having one. It’s a one-sided thing. She's doing this because of our dad_

We haven't even shared anything. Not even a kiss, Kiki. Our relationship is non-existent. I'm so sorry, Kiki. For everything. For yelling at you, for hurling insults at you. For everything.” He apologized and my gaze softened.

“But I like you.” He mumbled. I blinked back in shock, shifting uncomfortably in my seat. Maybe I didn't hear him.

“I like you, Kiki. Heaven knows I do. No matter how much I try to deny it, it's there. I don't know what you have done to me. You have taken over my every being. I don't even feel anything for Fifi but I like you.” He confessed.

I didn't know how to feel. I didn't know what to say. I just stared back at him in shock. He was waiting for me to say something yet I couldn't get a word out. What was I supposed to say?

His confessions had left me confused and at the same time had rendered me elated.