65: Apologies and Postponement.

GIOVANNI.

I stared at Kiki. She was sitting on her couch, her gaze locked with mine while she puffed out short breaths from her mouth, with rigid posture and trembling hands.

She was nervous.

I had seen that look too much not to understand it. She was using one of her fingers to tap against her thighs. With the way she was doing it, it seemed like an unconscious action. Like she didn’t even know that she was doing it. It made my shoulder slump.

I had made her tense.

An awkward silence soon consumed the air and it felt like I was heading nowhere with all my rambling. I was most definitely scaring her. How could I be telling her all this? What if she didn’t feel the same way?

I averted my gaze from hers, my shoulders slumping in defeat. I had just ruined my only chance. What was I going to do?

It seemed like all my efforts to come this way had been a waste. I didn’t understand it. I couldn’t even speak without looking like I was rambling my deepest secrets to her.

When I heard her shift uncomfortably on her seat, her fingers still drumming on her thighs, I felt it was time for me to leave. But I didn’t make any attempt to turn around. I was just at loss.

“Gigi,” She called softly, her gaze holding mine when I turned around to meet her eyes. She was sitting up like she was in an interview, her gaze unwavering. But her expression was soft. Very soft like silk. It was like she wanted me to prove what I had been saying. It was like she wanted to understand me better.

I couldn’t be more than happy to speak to her.

So, I moved closer to her till I was standing before her. She puffed out another breath when I bent down and crouched, my knees bent forward. That posture made me a bit closer to her and I watched her slowly with my gaze intent on hers.

“Tell me, Gigi.” She added, her voice giving me that assurance I needed to understand her deeply. I smiled and exhaled deeply.

“I like you, Kiki,” I told her. “I like you a lot. I. LIKE. YOU.” I enunciated every word to her. She looked away from me, her shoulders slumping in defeat like she had originally forced her mind to believe something else entirely.

“I wasn’t capping when I said I did. I’m not capping if I say I do.” I told her. “I don’t know how or when it happened. It might have been from the evening I met you at the gala. It might have been over the months. I don’t know Kiki. All I can say is that you have me completely wrapped around your fingers.

I may be wrong about when it happened but I’m not wrong about the way I feel for you. You don’t know what it took me speaking to you that way at the police station but if I didn’t, she wouldn’t let you go. I didn’t want to put you in that position.” I stopped to exhale and catch my breath, my eyes not leaving hers.

“I don’t know if you feel the same way. I don’t wanna hear it now. Just have it at the back of your mind that this-” I stopped for emphasis. “This is how I feel. That is what I feel for you. You don’t have to worry about Fifi. I promise I will make sure she has nothing on you. Cos she can’t, okay?” I assured her but she didn’t say anything, she just watched me with this impassive expression that made it quite difficult to guess how she felt about this.

“And I’m really sorry about what happened and what almost happened between us.” I groaned. “I am sorry I put you in that position. I almost lost value. I lost control of myself and kissed you. It took everything in me not to do the other. I wanted to speak to you about it, I wanted to but the expression on your face wasn’t welcoming.” I said resignedly.

I didn’t know what to say after that so I just kept quiet and watched her. She let out a sigh as I had just dumped a big piece of information on her. Then, she did what I wasn’t expecting. She grabbed my hands which were lying uselessly on my thighs, sitting up herself.

“I put you in that position. You don’t have to apologize. If I had remembered to book a suite like every sensible PA, we wouldn’t have ended up like that. So, it’s my fault. I also got drunk.” She smiled, shrugging slightly.

Her intertwined hands with mine which were now resting on her thighs were giving me ideas. It made my eyes do a slow crawl over her. For the first time since I walked in, I was finally able to look at her. She was wearing this old T-shirt that looked so beautiful on her. It was evident that the top was probably reaching somewhere on her thighs cos of the way it had ridden up in her posture. Only the shorts she had underneath was peeking out.

I sucked in a breath and looked away.

But her hands came up on the sides of my face and slowly cradled it to face her, to lock gaze with hers. I exhaled when she didn’t say anything. Like she wasn’t sure of what to say.

“Kiki, even though I like you so much, nothing can happen between us now. Not yet.” I told her. I had to. A confused expression came up on her face.

“I have the policy of maintaining a working environment that didn’t involve romance. I would like everything platonic. Besides, I still have Fifi’s issues to deal with and uh, family too.” I explained.

“So, if I get you now,” Kiki started. “You have feelings for me but want nothing to do with me?” She asked. I still didn’t understand what she was thinking even though I was trying.

“Yeah.” I sounded breathless.

“I’m sorry,” I told her.

“No, don’t be.” She told me and I nodded.

“But Kiki, will you come back to work with me. That’s all I request of you now.” I pleaded. She sighed and leaned back in her seat, staring at me.

A brief pause ensued between us.

“Alright, I will come back to work.” She smiled.