Chapter 83 : The Beast Within

Xavier

"Once it reaches your heart - I have no doubt that outcome is inevitable at this point - the energy of the wolf aura will try to transform you," he said, speaking directly to Karen. "This energy is trying to turn your hybrid blood into the blood of a full-fledged she-wolf, not just a weak she-wolf, but a strong she-wolf."

"Is this transformation inevitable?" she asked, emotion clogging her throat.

Seeing her distress, Xavier approached and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her gently but firmly to his side. She did not fight him, but fell back against him, her right hand running across his body, the palm of her hand resting on his stomach.

"I don't know," Benjamin replied, a worried expression clearly visible on his face. "Your spiritual energy is very strong, stronger than most priestesses in this territory now and before. All I know is that once your spiritual energy reaches your heart, the war between your auras will begin. Depending on how strong your wolf aura is, your spiritual energy may not be strong enough to fight it. Your body is weak and most likely will not be able to withstand the pressure. It may crush you."

Both Xavier and Karen remained silent at this news.

A few seconds later, in silence, she whispered, "Am I going to die?"

Hearing Benjamin's words, he tightened his grip on her, his nails digging into her hips. A sense of denial surged in his mind. He was not going to lose her! As the consequences of what she had allowed him to do to strengthen the wolf aura within her sank in, Karen barely felt the pain.

Now he was wondering the same thing. Did I finally push her to her death?

"Maybe not exactly," Benjamin murmured.

Both Xavier and Karen watched him intently, waiting for him to continue.

"The stronger wolf aura is now a part of you, always in a dormant state. Even though your body is involved in an aura war, if a powerful werewolf helps you, he can give you a wolf aura and force your spiritual energy to submit and accept the transformation. However, even if you turn into a full-blooded wolf, you can still maintain your spiritual light power, because your spiritual energy is also a part of you.

"I'm not going to die?" she sighed, ignoring the fact that she would be forced to transform. The relief that she wasn't going to die was too strong to worry about anything else at the moment.

Shortly after his sigh of relief at this additional information, his grip on her loosened as Xavier realized he was holding her too tightly. He could smell her blood, knew that his sharp nails had cut her skin, and regretted that he had unknowingly hurt her.

"Wait," she said as a thought occurred to her. "If a powerful werewolf can amplify my wolf aura to force such a result, what if another hybrid like me or my mother, who is the descendant of a priestess of light, can amplify my spiritual energy? Then I wouldn't have to transform, would I?" she asked hopefully.

Even though her father was a pureblood wolf, she did not want to become a full she-wolf. The thought was terrifying. Because she was not like Ivy or Nathaniel, who wanted to change who they were. She was happy with what she was. She didn't know anything about being a she-wolf, and she remembered how scared she was when her wolf aura grew stronger inside her while she was with Xavier in his private training hall.

There was something ferocious, animalistic, wild, and uncontrollable inside of her. Although she could transform into a wolf, it was not as if a wolf with spiritual energy could control its wild nature! Even though the light power of her spiritual aura could be strong and uncontrollable for her - as a beginner as she had been in the past - it didn't feel so... so wild, so fierce. Her wolf aura felt like a beast living inside her. There was no way that she would be able to control the beast inside of her!

His face was almost on the verge of a grimace, but he held himself in check. He was not happy that Karen was still trying to resist all his efforts to claim her as his own. He was being selfish, he knew, but it was for a better future. He knew he could make her happy. He just needed a chance to prove it to her, and the only way he could do that was if she turned into a full she-wolf.

Hearing her question, Benjamin shook his head. "You forgot. Your body cannot withstand the pressure even with the help of several priests and priestesses. You will die if you do not become a full she-wolf and remain a hybrid, Karenina." He spoke softly to her, trying to soften the impact of his words, but the force of his reply knocked the air out of her lungs.

Instantly, she made a choking sound, almost crying. She was terrified, desperately afraid of the wolf inside her. She didn't understand it, felt threatened by it, and here she was, being told that she had no choice but to accept it as a part of her life, to transform herself into a full she-wolf, a stronger one.

Looking at her with a pained expression, far from unsympathetic to her plight, to the turmoil she was feeling, Benjamin raised his hand to her face, a few fingers tickling her cheek as he caressed it in a comforting way. A tear fell on his finger.

"Is it so terrible to live as a she-wolf, Karenina? You'll have Alpha Xavier here to guide you through the time when you shift and teach you how to adapt to your new life."

There was no answer from her, she just whimpered, but she heard Benjamin's words clearly.

Then Benjamin asked the question that had been tormenting Xavier's mind.

"Do you despise werewolves, Karenina? Although, I know that your late father was a werewolf, right?" he asked in an unfriendly tone, using the same fingers to brush her hair away from her face and behind her ears.

She blinked at Benjamin with her teary eyes, disappointed at the conclusion the old man had come to.

"No, no, it's not like that!" She strongly denied it. "Whether someone is a werewolf, a hybrid, or an ordinary human has never mattered to me. It's just... I'm afraid."

Her voice trembled as she said the last two words.

Alas, Xavier would never admit that her adamant refusal to become a full she-wolf made him fear that she harbored ill feelings toward his kind, even though her late father was one of his kind, but her actions, her easy companionship, and friendship with creatures not of her kind said otherwise. Her explanation eased his fears, but now he felt regret that Karen was something she wasn't born to be. He could understand her fears, but he would make sure that she would never be alone in this difficult time. Never.

With the feeling that it would be better for them to leave, as it was necessary to comfort the distressed woman alone, Xavier spoke to Benjamin. "Thank you for your advice, Benjamin. Karenina and I must go."

Nodding his head as a sign of respect, Xavier carried Karen in his arms once more, relieved that she did not fight him, and turned to leave.

"You're welcome, Xavier. Good day and to you too, Karenina."

Xavier was already on his way out, but he and Karen heard the old man's parting words. Within seconds he was running fast with the most precious person in his arms.