Chapter 22 I Have To Let Him Go

I rose from the bed and made my way over to him. “Jonathan, what happened?” I questioned in a worried voice as I put my hand over his shoulder.

His lips curled into an exquisite smile as he raised his eyes to see me.

“Thank God.” I sighed with relief after seeing his smile.

"Oh my god, she is back, Mia. It is unbelievable.” As he expressed his incredulity, I saw a different kind of spark in his eyes which I had never seen before.

After listening to his words, so many questions began to arise in my head, and my brow furrowed in perplexity as I thought. ‘But who has returned?' And I was confused about why I was getting bad vibes.

'Has his long-lost love returned?' I stopped pondering as soon as this thought entered my head because it shattered me from within.

"Who is back, Jonathan?" I asked in a grim tone.

"The girl I loved a hundred years ago is back." As he merrily told me, I felt as though someone had stabbed a dagger right through my heart. His profound love for her was clearly evident in his eyes, and my chest became heavy with pain as I saw love for someone else in his eyes.

"Will you-you leave me-me now and go… to her?" I clutched my hands and stuttered, trying to keep the tears at bay.

I already knew he was going to leave me forever, but deep inside I hoped he wouldn't because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.

"Mia-" he paused and closed his eyes dejectedly. His silence was increasing my anxiety, and my heart was pounding with fear. I just stared at him motionlessly, terrified of losing him and falling back into darkness.

He took a deep breath and continued, holding my hand. "I know you love me a lot, but I'm sorry because I can't love you because I still love my Sofia. I've been living without her for a century. Mia, Sofia is my entire world, and I love her. Although you have a special place in my heart, I will never love you as much as I love Sofia."

After listening to his words, I became utterly paralysed and didn't know what to do: mourn for losing him or rejoice because he had regained his love. I was so shattered.

'Why always me, God? Don't I deserve happiness?' I pursed my lips to refrain from crying.

"Mia, I'm sorry if I'm hurting your feelings. I mistakenly believed that there was love between us when there was only infatuation. I thought we were in love because you were the only girl who caught my attention after Sofia. However, now that Sofia has returned, I realised we weren't in love because I still love her. Mia, I don't even want to hurt you; all I want is to be with her once again and finish the unfinished chapter of our love story. What should I do?"

I was listening to him while standing like a lifeless body in front of him, my gaze glued to the floor. It was like a nightmare, the person I loved was in love with someone else. I just couldn’t believe that his love for me was a mistake for him when my love for him was pure and true.

What was my mistake in this?

He was my vampire just moments ago, but now that his heart belonged to someone else, it was killing me.

I raised my heartbroken gaze towards him as he clutched my hand. "Please, Mia, speak up. Your silence is killing me. I won't be able to leave if you don't say anything. I truly don't want to cause anyone any harm." I just continued to look at him blankly while he spoke, looking at me with guilt in his eyes.

My euphoria had no bounds a few minutes ago after getting the person I loved the most; it was as if my dream had come true, but suddenly my dream had shattered completely in front of my eyes, and my heart had broken down into millions of pieces. Because of the excruciating pain, my whole body began to quake.

‘I have to hold onto my feelings because I know that if I weep, he won't leave and will feel more guilty. His happiness matters the most to me because I love him. Therefore, if he is happy, I will also be happy.’ I fought back tears and braced myself to hide my suffering from the love of my life, clutching my hands.

I took a deep breath to summon the courage to speak. "Jonathan, I want your happiness, and it is not your fault that you don't love me. If God has sent back your first love in your life, there must be a reason. You should go to her, and if you live happily with her, I will live happily as well."

“Mia, I’m extremely sorry-“

“Jonathan, I’m fine.” Even though I wasn't fine, I blinked my eyes to reassure him that I was because I just couldn’t see him in guilt.

Despite the fact that I was in excruciating pain, I tried to look strong for Jonathan because I would do anything to make him happy. However, only my heart was aware of the suffering I was experiencing. I made a strong effort to stop the tears from streaming from my eyes.

'Please don't abandon me, Jonathan. If you abandon me, I will perish without you. You are my only happiness and the only light in my gloomy life; if you leave, I will go back to the darkness. Please don't go, I love you so much.’ I really wanted to stop him by saying this, but I couldn't.

"Mia, you were truly my angel, and you will always be my angel, because you banished my darkness, and it is only because of you that I am now getting back my Sofia today." As he took Sofia's name, a blissful smile flashed on his face. How much he cherished her was truly evident in his brown eyes, and it shattered my heart.

‘No, I cannot take this pain any longer. Why do I not deserve to live a happy life? Why do I endure suffering all the time?’ As I thought, my heart ached painfully.

I turned around and stood with my back to him as tears began to stream down my cheeks. "Jonathan, please leave right now. If you stay here for a few more minutes, I will never let you leave me."

I bit my lower lip to prevent myself from sobbing and asked him to leave because I couldn't face him and didn't want to show him my suffering. I wanted to cry loudly, but not in front of him.

'Please, Jonathon, don't go! I love you so much.' As he placed his hand over my shoulder, my heart screamed, but I shrieked in agony. "I beg you, Jonathan, please leave,” because I didn't have the strength to face him and control my emotions.

I closed my eyes and fresh tears began to stream down my cheeks as he squeezed my shoulder before removing his hand. I didn't want him to leave; I wanted to turn around and beg him to stay, but I was powerless to do anything.

‘I have to let him go for his happiness.’ As I murmured, my lips quivered.

I turned around, quickly shut the window, and slumped to the floor after a few seconds when I didn't feel his presence. I broke out in a fit of hysteria, sobbing aloud and fisting the curtains.

"He abandoned me, he walked away, leaving me alone. His love for me was a mistake; it wasn't love, it was just an attraction." I howled my pain out.

The fact that I could actually see the genuine joy in his eyes when he was telling me about Sofia seemed unreal to me, but it was true.

The pain that I had seen in his eyes since the beginning was gone today. He was overjoyed to have his love back and always in love with Sofia, and I was nothing to him.

"Why does God always do this to me? Why do I never find happiness? I can't imagine my life without him but I have to let him go for his happiness since I have no other choice. Why did I fall in love with him? It was all my fault." I wailed in agony, the pain was killing me from within.

My heart was shattered into a million pieces as I imagined him in someone else's embrace and my soul was being torn apart by the thought that he loved someone else. The void in my heart was getting deeper and deeper. I wished this was a nightmare because I desperately needed him back in my life.