chapter 24 Real Reason?

Chapter 24 Real Reason?

Because I needed relief, I marched straight to my room and began flinging stuff on the floor. I was enraged, heartbroken, worn out, disappointed, and appalled.

"Ahaha.." I was howling in pain and messing up my room, but the ache in my heart was not going away. I was yearning for relief.

"Mia, can you tell me what happened?" When I was about to knock the vase off the mirror, Mom grabbed hold of me from behind and stopped me.

I let go of the vase, which dropped to the ground and broke into pieces just like my heart. As I began crying loudly, burying my face in Mom’s chest, and clutching her dress, she embraced me securely.

"Mom, why is he doing this to me? What is my fault? Why is he causing me anguish over and over again? Why can't I stop loving him? Why, Mom?" After learning the truth from the person I met in my car a few minutes ago, I asked my mother whatever questions were going into my mind.

Flashback (a few minutes ago)

I was driving to college as usual, but when someone came in front of me, my eyes widened in horror and I immediately applied the brakes. With the blink of my eyes, the person sat beside me before I could react. He was lightning fast.

‘Is this man a vampire like Jonathan?’ I wondered as I saw him with open-mouthed curiosity.

“Who are you?” He just stared at me without batting an eye as I asked him in a startling tone.

"Mia, I'm Jonathan's friend, James." After taking a deep breath, he introduced himself.

As he took Jonathan’s name, a lone tear streamed down my cheek automatically. I asked in a curt tone, wiping off my tears. “Why have you come here to meet me? What do you want from me?"

"Mia, I want to tell you the truth about Jonathan; everything he told you about Sofia was a lie because he wants you to stop loving him." My mouth dropped open in disbelief as he told me.

'Wait, what did he just say? Jonathan deceived me. He purposefully made me suffer so much. Even though he was aware that I couldn't survive without him, he still left me because he wanted me to stop loving him. How could he?’

“Sofia is-“

I shrieked in outrage before James could finish his sentence. "Just get out of my car, right now."

"I understand your rage, Mia, but please, for once, listen to me." He asked as I tried to shove him out of my car because I wasn't in a state to hear anything.

I was enraged after discovering Jonathan's deception.

"What else do you want to say, James? Isn't this enough? He lied to me after knowing how much I love him, because he believed our relationship would jeopardize my life. Inform your friend that he has won, because I am never going to return to his life. I'm sick of explaining things to him." I yelled, unleashing my rage on him.

He patiently listened to me and opened the car door before disappearing in the blink of an eye.

"I despise my life and wish it would end. Why doesn't he understand my feelings for him? Do my suffering and pain make him happy?" I sobbed uncontrollably, grasping the steering wheel. It was excruciatingly painful for me.

'What a fantastic actor he is. I believed him when he lied about Sofia. Why didn't I notice he was lying to me? That day, his eyes also deceived me. Why does he keep doing this to me? Why can't he love me? What should I do?’

I thought, still crying miserably after placing my head on the steering wheel, but deep down I was relieved to know that he just loved me and had no other women in his life.

Flashback over

I'd been crying in Mom's arms for half an hour. She was stroking my back and hair. I was finding solace in her warm arms. Crying in her arms always comforted me for a few minutes.

I finally stopped crying after a few minutes. "I need to move on. I can't waste any more of my life crying like this. I have to accept the reality that I will never be able to stop my heart from loving him, but I can still try to live happily for those who love me." After wiping my tears, I pulled out of her embrace.

"Mia, how are you feeling now?" Mom cupped my face and asked in a concerned tone.

"Better. Thank you, Mom, for always being there for me." As I gently kissed her hand, she smiled slightly and kissed my forehead.

She poured the water into the glass from the jar and held out it to me. "Have water." As she offered me the glass of water, I took a few sips.

I returned the glass to her, and she kept it on the table. "I'm bringing you something to eat, and you have to eat." She gave me stern instructions after getting out of bed.

"Mom, don't you want to know why I was crying?" I asked after stopping her by holding her hand when she was about to walk away.

She turned, gave me a small smile and sat on the bed beside me. "Mia, I'm curious, but I don't want to compel you to tell me everything. If you wish, you can share with me at any time, and I will always be there for you. I just want you to know how important you are to me, Mia. I don't want to lose my daughter again, and I can't bear the thought of you suffering.”

She tucked a few strands of my hair and continued, "Whatever the pain is, it will pass, but you must remain strong. If things go out of hand, you should leave them to God because one day he will undoubtedly do something similar to what he did to me. Just have faith in God, because he will solve your problems just as he solved all of mine and gave my daughter back to me.” I smiled, feeling better as she reassured me by resting her palm on my cheek.

"I love you, Mom." I just gave her a firm hug while beaming with pure bliss. My understanding of something was crystallised by her words that I should trust God with everything.

****

After a month

Another month went by without seeing him; I hadn't seen him in two months. My heart, my soul, yearned for his affection, but I realised I had nothing in my hands. I stopped crying and tried to live normally, with my mother and friends who were helping me greatly. They never left me alone for a moment.

Sometimes I felt really fortunate to have the best mother and friends, and other times I felt extremely unlucky since I was living without my love.

To distract myself from the events of the past, I decided to enter a singing competition because I always enjoyed singing. It brought me enormous peace to my soul, therefore there was no better way for me to get out of my misery than to sing.

His memories were consuming my mind, and I always thought. 'What would he be doing without me?'

I desperately wanted to see him and wondered, 'Why is he making both of us suffer and why did he abandon me without any explanation? I am enduring because of him?' I was furious at him for doing this to me.

Last night, I had a nightmare in which Jonathan was burning in front of my eyes. I was so dreadful that I became distraught for him. I wanted to see him, I wanted to know whether he was okay, but I had no clue where to look for him.

"Oh my God, why isn't he going from my mind?" I asked, worn out as I stepped inside the college and looked up at the sky.

When I was ambling to my classroom, suddenly someone pulled me into the empty classroom by grabbing my arm, and locked the door.

"What do you want? Why are you here again?" I asked, glaring at the person who pulled me inside. He was Jonathan's friend, James.

‘What is he doing here again?’ The first thought that came to my mind as I saw him.

"I'm not going today, Mia. Please listen to me for once; it's about Jonathan." I felt like there was something terrible going on as he pleaded.

Yesterday, the nightmare had terrified me, and today his words made me much more anxious about Jonathan.

"What?" I asked in a worried tone.

"He needs you, Mia. I wanted to tell you this that day, but you weren't ready to listen." My brows furrowed as I listened to his words because he acted as though I had abandoned him.

"Why did he leave me if he needed me? James, I didn't ask him to go away from me. Do you have any clue how much I would be suffering without him?” I questioned him while trying to hold back my tears with great difficulty.

"Mia, not even in his dream, he wants to see you suffer, but there was nothing else he could do." I dejectedly closed my eyes as he finished speaking.

"He had no choice because my life would be in danger, right? I'm dying every second because he abandoned me, James. I've always chosen him because I love him and know that putting my life in jeopardy and living with him is far preferable to living in misery every day without him. Even if I died, I wouldn't mind, but he never understood me." I dejectedly turned my face to the other side, biting my lower lip and squeezing my eyes, attempting to restrain my emotions.

"His condition is similar to yours, but he is forced to live without you, and you know what's the worst part? He can hear your screams. He cries more than you every time you weep, and he also punishes himself for causing you grief." After learning of Jonathan’s terrible condition, tears streamed down my cheeks, and I looked at him with sorrowful eyes.

"Then why is he torturing both of us, James?Why?” As I questioned him, a sob escaped from my mouth.

"Mia, the real reason isn't just that he's afraid of putting your life in danger; there's something huge that he's concealing from me as well.” As James told me, my brows narrowed in confusion and I stared at him, unsure of what the real reason was.