34

Michael

I lay awake in bed with Victoria in my arms. We had been sleeping in the same bed for the past two weeks, and I couldn't be happier. It warmed my heart that Victoria was willing to give us another chance. I wouldn't blow it this time; I would be a better man. I smiled, knowing that someday, Victoria would be my wife.

However, I needed to mend my relationship with Antonio. Taking him to my therapy session didn't exactly go as Victoria, and I had hoped.

"Is my daddy a bad man?" Antonio asked.

A feeling of dread settled in my gut as my heart began to race. Dr. Charles looked at me; I nodded, letting him know he could be honest with Antonio. I hoped he wouldn't get into too much detail.

"Well, your daddy has done many bad things."

"Like what?"

"He hurt your mommy in many different ways, broke promises he made to you and your mommy, and made your mommy cry many times."

My eyes widened in shock. I couldn't believe how honest Dr. Charles was being. Wasn't that being too honest?

"So he is a bad man," Antonio said, making my heart clench.

"Your daddy is working on being a better man."

"How?"

"Well, he's coming to see me. I help him realize what he did was bad; I also help him figure out why he did those bad things, so he doesn't do them anymore."

"He doesn't know why he does those things?"

"I'm afraid not."

Antonio looked at me with an angry face.

"YOU'RE A MONSTER!"

"Antonio," I said firmly.

Before I could say anything else, Antonio stormed out of the room. Doctor Charles looked at me with sympathy.

"I'm assuming that's not the outcome you hoped for."

"No."

That was five weeks ago, and Antonio hasn't spoken to me since. I missed spending time with him. The only time we spent together was when I was driving him to and from school or soccer practice. The drive was always silent, no matter how hard I tried to make conversation. I was convinced Antonio hated me; maybe I deserved it.

Victoria began to move and let out a sigh. I gently kissed her neck and whispered, "good morning."

"Good morning."

Victoria turned around to face me and smiled.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing. I'm just happy."

I smiled and leaned in to kiss Victoria. As I was about to pull away, Victoria returned the kiss. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer as I gently ran my tongue against her lips. Victoria slowly opened her mouth so I could explore every inch of it with my tongue. I groaned as Victoria tugged at my hair and pressed her chest against mine. I moved so I was on top and began to grind my crotch against hers, making her moan. Victoria wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me closer as she rubbed against me, making me groan. I began to kiss Victoria's neck and cup her breast with one hand while squeezing her butt with the other, making her moan louder.

We looked into each other's eyes, panting as we continued to grind against each other. I knew that look on Victoria's face; she was about to orgasm, and I could feel myself approaching that point as well. After a couple more minutes, Victoria's jaw dropped. She moaned loudly as she orgasmed; I grunted as I ejaculated, wishing I was filling Victoria's pussy instead of wetting my boxers. I collapsed next to Victoria, entirely out of breath.

It may not have been actual sex, but in that intimate moment we shared, I felt so much love for Victoria and knew it brought us closer.

"Oh, shit!" Victoria shouted and jumped out of bed.

"What's wrong?" I sat up, alarmed.

"Antonio's gonna be late for school."

I ran to the bathroom to clean myself up and get ready for the day, while Victoria ran to Antonio's room to get him ready for school. Once I was ready, I dashed to the front door, where Antonio was waiting with his backpack and a granola bar. I kissed Victoria goodbye and quickly made my way to my car. After buckling Antonio in, I practically floored it to Antonio's school.

We arrived just before the bell was about to ring.

"Okay, Antonio," I said. "Have a goo-"

Before I could finish what I was saying, Antonio ripped his hand from mine and dashed through the front doors. I had never seen a kid run so fast to school. I let out a sigh. I missed when Antonio would hug me goodbye before walking away. I returned to my car and noticed Antonio had made a mess. He deliberately smeared his granola bar all over the back seat.

I ran my hand over my face, thanking God the seat was leather and not cloth.

What am I going to do with this kid?

I would have to clean that mess up later. In the meantime, I had to go to counseling. As soon as I arrived, I was called in. I sat in front of Dr. Charles and attempted to prepare myself mentally.

"How have things been going since our last session?"

"They've been good. Honestly, I wish I had signed up for counseling sooner."

"Really? What makes you say that?"

"I realized what I've done is wrong; it's disgusting. Things that would have made me angry in the past don't make me angry anymore. If I had been in counseling sooner, I never would have hurt Victoria the way I have."

"What kind of things happen now that would've made you angry in the past?"

"There have been a few times Victoria snapped at or spoke back to me. If she were to do that in the past, I would've hit her."

"What do you do now?"

"Now, I take a deep breath and try to see her point of view. The world's not all about me; I must respect Victoria's opinion."

"It's great to hear you say that, Michael. You've come a long way. How's the couple's therapy going?"

"Great. Victoria's being more open, and we're growing closer; our relationship is what I've always hoped we'd have."

"How about Antonio? Have you worked out things with him?"

"No. Antonio still hates me. This morning, he smeared his granola bar all over the back seat of my car."

"Wow."

"I don't know what to do. Victoria has tried talking to him several times, and he still won't budge."

"Have you tried helping out with football practice?"

"Yeah. Antonio told all the kids that I was secretly a scary monster and to stay away from me."

"Really?" Dr. Charles seemed shocked.

"Yeah."

You should take him to a child psychiatrist. They could pinpoint what Antonio is currently dealing with; I can recommend a few people."

"That would be great. Thank you."

"Of course."

"We used to get along so well. I want that back."

"I'm sure you'll get it back in due time."

I took a deep breath.

"Now, it's been a while since we've talked about the sexual abuse you went through. I know you don't like talking about it, but we must address it."

"What now?" I sighed.

"Well, we've talked about how it started; how long did it last?"

I thought back to when I was seventeen: the last time I had sex with my mother.

"Good job Michael," my mother moaned as I thrust into her from behind. "Good job. Just like that."

My mother told me sex was supposed to feel good, but I hated every moment and felt disgusted with myself every time. She told me "giving" my virginity to her would be special, but I felt like something important was stolen.

"Right there! Oh, God!" My mother screamed.

I gave her one last hard thrust, and she finally orgasmed. I hoped that was it for the night. I went to pull out, but my mother grabbed my hand.

"Don't leave me yet," she pouted.

"I have homework to do."

"You can do it later."

"I won't have time. Dad said he wanted to have fun tonight."

My mother scoffed.

"Fine. Go do your homework."

I quickly pulled out of my mother and ran to my room to shower.

"It stopped with my mother when I was seventeen, and my father stopped a few months later."

"Why did your father take longer to stop?"

"Well, my father was getting jealous; several times, my mom told him I was better and he could learn a few things from me. My father had had enough of my mother's remarks and told her she couldn't use me anymore. He kept using me, and my mother got jealous; she said that he couldn't either if she couldn't use me. Then it stopped. However, on my eighteenth birthday, they insisted we have a threesome to celebrate my becoming a man. That was the end of it."

"How did you feel when everything came to an end?"

"After the threesome, I was still scared and had a lot of anxiety."

"What were you afraid of?"

"I was afraid they might change their minds again and decide to do something. When one of them left the house, I feared the other would take advantage."

"Did you ever try running away?"

"The thought crossed my mind, but for some reason, I felt trapped. I felt my parents would find me no matter where I went, and I felt like I would get caught trying to sneak out."

"Did you ever try going to college to get away?"

"I got accepted to Loyola. My parents were proud and decided to let me go."

"What happened? Why didn't you finish school?"

"My entire freshman year, I couldn't bring myself to talk to anyone or try making friends; I felt like everyone knew something was off. The same thing happened my sophomore year; some people would try talking to me, but once they asked where I was from, I would shut everyone out. I didn't want anyone to find out what I went through. I couldn't stand the paranoia, so I took everything I learned, dropped out, and started my own gang."

"How did you feel when you started your gang?"

"For once in my life, I felt great. I had power, and I liked that. I liked being in control for once."

Victoria

I sat on the living room couch, reflecting on everything. I didn't like using my body, but at least Michael was excellent in bed and gentle with me. Counseling was paying off; Michael was changing for the better, making it easier for me to carry out my plans. Michael was now incredibly naive, and his hopefulness caused him to believe the act I had been putting on. I was glad Antonio held a grudge against Michael; it would make saying goodbye easy.

After spotting a few things around town whenever we went out, I changed my plans. Killing Michael would be too easy; I will make him suffer; he will beg me to kill him, and even then, I still won't.