Resting time

Matthew Jones

Dancing has always been everything to me. I may be in the worst phase of my life, but I have always relied on it. Just the feeling of my veins bulging, and my heart racing, was enough to numb me from my problems.

And I've heard it all. Some say it's wrong, that we never forget our problems, we just put them in the background, and sooner or later they will plague us again. However, there are others who see it positively, claiming that everyone overcomes differently.

Particularly, I’m neither on the first nor the second team. I just look for the easiest and fastest – which usually ends up being the second option, but it’s not a rule either. Not least because a few months ago I sent the dance to hell with it. It took many hours of talking with Johnny for me to back out.

I also only decided to come back for the championship because it wasn't a fair decision. If I was alone, that would be fine, but that wasn’t the case. Besides John, there was Kaleb, Greg, Scott, and I don't even need to mention the girls, who were the most dedicated during all this time, which, by the way, is getting scarcer and scarcer.

Who would have thought that July would come so fast!

I confess that this both reassures and frightens me at the same time. It reassures me, because soon all this pressure will be over, but it also scares me, because we aren’t ready. Anastasia made changes in some steps of the choreography and even added a crappy acting. Seriously, what is so useful about acting? I only see negative points, but I can't interfere, since I don't want the responsibility – and I don't want to have to put up with the chirping of Miss Know-it-all.

As I entered Rachel's, I could hear Steph's voice coming from the practice room down the hall, so I headed over there. She has been surprising me by coming in early every day to rehearse. As soon as I set foot in the room, I caught the eye not only of Steph, but of all the other girls, including Anastasia, whom I hadn't expected to find there. I didn't want to get in the way of their discussion about the choreography fittings, so I just greeted them with a nod and went to my corner.

I thought Anastasia had given up on participating in the championship. What is she doing here? Did Johnny convince her to come back after I left yesterday? I don't know. He's not the type to solve other people's problems that way. But, well, if he did or not, I don't care. At least he saved me from thinking of convincing arguments.

I decided to ignore the situation and started to warm up, staring at my reflection in the mirror, while listening to Steph chatter. Seriously, if I were a girl or simply part of their dance group, I would be very afraid of Steph. Not only the look in her eyes, but her manner, is extremely… intimidating.

I pushed the thoughts away and tried to concentrate on what I was doing. I brought my right hand to my head, forcing it to the right side so that my neck stretched. I could hear it snap, spreading some relief through my body, and I repeated the same process with the other side, in the opposite direction.

From the moment I entered the room, I could feel the girls gazes on me-something even normal, after all, I had appeared without saying anything. Logically, they would look at me, confirm that it was me, and then ignore me again and go back to their business. But the problem is that I still have this feeling about myself. It’s as if they are still staring at me. So I glanced in their direction, through the mirror, just to make sure they weren't staring at me, wanting me to evaporate.

I looked at each one, but ended up stopping at a pair of brown eyes, which were staring at me with a certain curiosity. Anastasia was doing the same as me: looking through the mirror. And although she was following the choreography that Steph was giving to the girls, her gaze was completely on me.

I frowned and went back to staring at myself in the mirror, ignoring her. At least now I know who's looking at me. I stretched my upper limbs, pushing my right arm to my left side, stretching it as far as it would go. My muscles tingled, bringing a momentarily warm sensation to my body.

I would love to say that everything is calm, that my concentration on the previous part of the rehearsal – the stretching – was perfectly stable. But it would be impossible for anyone to do anything knowing that someone is watching.

Ok, it’s not as if I’m not used to receiving this much attention; after all, I have lost count of how many times I have performed in public. However, the crucial factor is that Anastasia's gaze is different. Not in a special way, of course, but it seems to pierce me, as if scanning my entire interior.

I don't know, but it’s strange.

I looked again at Anastasia and noticed the exact moment when she disguised herself. Yes, she had just turned her attention to what she was doing in front of the mirror. But, not fast enough, as I caught her, and inevitably, rolled my eyes. Are we in fifth grade now?

I put my hands on my waist and turned to face the girls, watching them move to the sound of Steph's count. They were relatively synchronized, but like a good choreographer, I noticed that there were gaps. If it were any other time, I would certainly interrupt them and comment on it, but…

All the girls stopped dancing suddenly, waking me up from my reverie. Steph rubbed her hands over her face, visibly frustrated.

“It's okay, Steph.” Molly said with a sigh, resting her hand on her shoulder. “We practiced a lot today.” She looked at the other girls, hoping they would agree.

“Yeah, we can continue tomorrow.” Victoria shrugged, and then they all nodded.

“No.” She denied it. “The championship is coming. We can't stop.”

Okay, this affected me. Steph must be having problems at home, that's why she's putting so much pressure on herself with the championship. I hate to see her like this, but the way we're going, we'll only embarrass ourselves by performing there. I ended up sighing loudly. When I looked away, I noticed that Anastasia was staring at me. Again.

Damn it! This is already starting to annoy me. What's her deal, anyway? All she does is stare at me with those big and curious eyes, without saying a word! As soon as I opened my mouth to question her, Johnny came through the practice room door, drawing everyone's attention.

“Good morning, good morning!” He smiled broadly.

“Looks like someone's excited today.” Molly remarked.

“I am. Aren't you?” He laughed nasally and swept his eyes across the room, meeting mine.

The last time we spoke was yesterday afternoon, when we unlocked the keys. And I know this may sound a little sick, but I still haven't forgotten what happened. I’m pretty sure that he set him up, and when I’m sure, he’ll see me. I can even deduce that this whole Anastasia scam is his idea. There is no other more logical explanation for her looking at me like that.

John smiled at me and stared at Anastasia, giving her a wink. A damn wink. He literally didn't even bother to pretend. He did everything right in front of me, which means that maybe everything he said is true. Or he is just pretending… Holy shit! I'm going to freak out. I closed my eyes and pulled my hair back, trying to stay calm.

“There are no coincidences.”

I think and repeated the same phrase more times than usual, making it sound like a mantra. I need to solve this once and for all, before my eye starts twitching involuntarily – or they put me away.

“Yeah, we're going.” Victoria took a deep breath before putting her small bottle of water to her mouth.

“How discouraging is that?” John frowned. “Don't tell me you want to give up already!”

“Well, it's frustrating to rehearse like a horn, but never get out of the same place.” Steph laughed mockingly, furiously packing her things into her backpack.

“Having trouble with the new steps?” He asked, catching my attention. Part of me wanted to hear a positive answer, just to throw it in Anastasia's face, but it would also be terrifying, so I don't know what to think. “If that's the case, I can take a break with the boys to help you.”

“Actually, the new steps look great. Seriously, Ana fell from the sky!” Steph stated vehemently.” She opened her mouth to argue, but remained silent. Finally, she took a deep breath and relaxed her shoulders.

“I think I have an idea.” John laughed, walking toward her. He hugged her side and stroked her pink locks.

I've never seen Steph surrender like this. Frankly, I don't think she has ever shown weakness in front of other people, which leads me to conclude that she has reached her limit. She must be so emotionally worn out that her physical condition is also being affected. Maybe we should…

“Rest!” John exclaimed. “That's exactly what we need.”

“What?” I frowned at him. Why is him in the plural? I thought it was just to give Steph a few days to relax.

“Yeah, we are all working really hard. We can't and won't keep up the pace like this.” He laughed breathlessly. “We need to relax for a few days. To clear our heads.”

He's kidding, right? No, Johnny must be holding himself back from laughing, because I'm sure this is some kind of joke.

“Johnny, I can't relax knowing that the championship is getting closer and closer.” Steph pulled away to look him in the eye.

Exactly, Steph. As always, wise.

“Actually, I think it’ll be good.” Anastasia commented. “When I'm nervous or stuck on something, I tend to breathe new air. It helps me unblock ideas.”

“Precisely!” John winked.

“I don't know…” Steph was afraid. “I don't have a lot of money either.”

“No one is.” He laughed nasally. “And that's why I thought we'd stay at the country house for a few days.”

No. No fucking way.

“You have a country house!” Anastasia's jaw dropped.

“Not me.” He shook his head negatively. “My grandparents.”

“Which is still indirectly yours.” Victoria stated the obvious and John shrugged.

“They have a very large hall there. You can use it to rehearse if you like.” He suggested, staring at Steph. She opened her mouth, but said nothing, just stared at him with narrowed eyes.

“Are you sure?” She asked. “I don't want you to…”

“Relax!” He assured her, looking into her eyes. “It won't be a problem.” He smiled. Steph sighed.

“I just don't want to cause any problems later.” She rolled her eyes and zipped up her backpack, putting it on her back.

“You won't.” Her smile widened. “Then it's settled. Be here tomorrow at seven.”

“I'll talk to the boys too.” Molly warned and left the room.

Anastasia stared at John with a certain gleam in her eye, as if she were admiring him. I ended up laughing heartily at the situation. I can't believe he's actually going to act like the championship isn't on the doorstep. I mean it! It’s really important. We can't rest.

“Uh… Johnny?” I took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. He turned to me, so I forced a smile and called him with my forefinger.

With long and quiet steps, he came towards me. He looked like a happy little puppy with that wide smile on his face. As soon as we were close enough, I rubbed my forehead and glanced at the girls, who were chatting excitedly.

“Are you going to trade six for half a dozen?” I asked John, speaking low enough so that only he could hear. When confusion took over his face, I decided to express myself better. “What is the logic in leaving the studio to dance in the middle of the woods?”

“We're not necessarily going to dance there.” He twisted his lips. “I only said this to reassure Steph.”

“So you're really going to go through with this vacation idea?” I raised my eyebrows in disbelief.

“They need to rest.” He shrugged, making me laugh in derision.

“Man, the championship is less than a month away.”

“I know, but what's the point of forcing them to train if they don't have the head for it?” He retorted, leaving me speechless. In part, he was not wrong, but still, it bothers me. “And another: what are three little days?”

“Three days!” I exclaimed, drawing the girl's attention. They looked at me with a certain curiosity, but all I did was stare at them, startled.

“Yes, three days.” Johnny said snidely, giving me a death glare for making a fuss.

“Are you going to stay three days without rehearsing?” I remarked, hoping he would come to his senses.

“Yes, why not?” He drew his eyebrows together, as if challenging me.

I stared at him for a while, thinking of all the reasons not to. There were many. But I just sighed in defeat and decided to keep them to myself. Depending on how you interpret my answer, you might claim that I am trying to get back on track. And I’m not. Of course, I’m not.

“Nothing. I just wanted to know.” I nodded, looking away from her to Anastasia, who was listening to what Steph was saying. Before long, she was staring back at me.

I don't want to get into trouble. At least not now that Steph is in trouble, but I swear: if Anastasia doesn't come to me and tell me what is bothering her so much about me, I will… I don't know what I will, but I will. I rolled my eyes and slapped Johnny lightly on the arm, who had been distracted by his cell phone.

“Did you say something to Anastasia?” I squinted my eyes.

“About what?” He didn't even take his eyes off the cell phone in his hands.

“About me.” I said, and it was only after I saw the corners of his mouth curl into an evil smile that I realized what I had said. “In a pejorative sense, dumb.” I snorted. “She won't stop staring at me!” I looked in her direction. She was smiling and talking to Steph. “And it's not a normal stare. She suddenly loses herself and… I don't know, dammit. Just answer if talked or not!”

“No, I didn't say anything” He denied it, laughing nasally. “At least nothing she doesn't already know.”

“What do you mean with ‘nothing she doesn't already know’?” I frowned. “So you did talk about me!” I narrowed my eyes. “What are you hiding, John?”

“Nothing, dude!” He sighed, putting his hands and cell phone in his jeans pocket. “You two just are the same! You do the same things and have almost the same quirks.” He smiled. “Maybe she noticed that too. And some others things…”

“You're crazy.” I laughed in mockery. “Have you been drinking something bad again?”

“That only happened once, and it was Kaleb's fault. He forgot my Sierra Nevada in the freezer.” He rolled his eyes. “That was sixteen dollars…”

I rolled my eyes and decided to ignore him. Johnny is not saying much that is coherent today. Let's face it, Anastasia and I have nothing in common. I am even relatively offended by the comparison, but I'd rather refrain than get angry – more than I already am.

And to think that I’ll have to put up with three days of all this nonsense…