The only sober one

Matthew Jones

A big shit.

That is the best definition for my day. And no, I’m not exaggerating. My day already started to suck for the simple fact that I was waking up early to take a vacation. Yes, to take a vacation. Who wakes up early for that? No kidding! During vacations, the first thing we do isn’t to wake up at all. But there I was, with my suitcase and bag, crammed into a van of unknown and dubious origin. Seriously, I really don't know where Johnny got this from, but I won't ask. I'd rather not know.

As if this wasn't torture enough, during the drive to Johnny's grandparents' country house, I was forced to listen to Kaleb's infernal singing, because, according to him, vacations are just vacations with vacation music. I didn't even know that this kind of music existed, but I can already tell you: if anyone dares to sing near me again, I’ll make murder.

And to put the cherry on the cake, there was Anastasia, who faced me halfway. The other half I slept through, so I don't know, but I hope not, because let's face it, that would be bizarre. This last situation, in particular, is the one that bothered me the most, because I don't know why. I still have suspicions that Johnny said something, but he insists that he “didn't say anything beyond what she already knows.” Oh, go fuck yourself! What does she know? Anastasia has just arrived, and we barely have a conversation – if we joke here and there, it could be considered dialogue.

The point is that nobody stops hating another person overnight. Surely something has happened to make Anastasia less… how can I put it? Ready to push me in front of a car? I don't know if this is the most appropriate expression. But in any case, this is being very suspicious.

Unfortunately, I haven't had a chance to investigate further, because, the only thing I have really understood today is eating and looking at the sky on the cushioned lounger. I swear, if they continue to take my patience away, this is where I’ll sleep. What a comfortable place! I dare say it's softer than my mattress.

As night began to fall, a cool breeze accompanied it, encouraging Johnny to light a fucking fire. Yes, he lit a fire in the middle of the yard and, until five minutes ago, they were humming the fifteenth song around it while eating snacks and drinking beer. I looked in their direction and saw no movement, just a small orange flame on the ground. They must be playing some kind of game.

I didn't want to join them, because as I said, if they take away my patience, I’ll make murder. And since I’m the only one who is 100% sober, I definitely don't want to get involved and then be forced to take care of anyone. Nobody told them to get involved with alcohol. They should be training for the championship.

My stomach rumbled loudly, and I couldn't help but grimace. I haven't eaten anything since noon, when we had lunch. It is exactly ten fifty-eight at night and if I don't find something to fill the hole, I’ll surely starve tomorrow, because I doubt they’ll wake up before eleven. At this, I stood up from my living room, instantly feeling a twinge at the base of my spine. I think I've spent too much time in the same position.

I walked – or rather crawled – into the house, looking like an 84-year-old man who bent down to pick up his broom and locked his spine. Will I have a problem if I sleep awake tonight? Because sleeping like people isn't going to happen.

When I walked through the wooden French doors, I was surprised at how quiet it was inside. Literally no one was there. I looked around and saw no movement, so I shrugged and headed for the kitchen. When I got there, I opened the refrigerator door and swept my eyes over the shelves, looking for something to whet my appetite – even though I was already wide awake. I eventually found a plastic jar of green grapes, so I decided that they would be my dinner.

I barely closed the stainless steel door and was so startled that for a moment I didn’t let the grapes hit the floor. The reason I was so scared was that there were half a meter of people standing there, staring at me so hard, it looked like a haunting. I took a deep breath, trying to control my heartbeat. At least my heart isn't that of an 84-year-old man, otherwise I would have fallen hard right here.

“What do you want?” I frowned.

Anastasia blinked slowly twice and then ran her eyes over my face, analyzing every extremity. She stepped forward and stood on tiptoe, causing me to immediately step back, lifting the grape box to outline some division between us. Okay, she is starting to scare me.

“I was just checking to make sure you weren't sleepwalking.” She laughed and shrugged, walking past me to access the refrigerator.

“I thought you were drunk and were finally going to surrender to me.” I opened the box and pulled out one of the grapes, popping it into my mouth.

Anastasia opened the small bottle of water and took a sip of its contents, looking directly at me. I focused on her throat, which was going up and down as she swallowed the liquid, and realized that her throat was also dry. When she was satisfied, she moistened her lips and smiled.

“This is what you want most…” She emphasized, twisting the red cap on the plastic bottle. “And another…” She approached me, sending my body into a state of alert. She stole a handful of green grapes and popped one in her mouth before saying: “I'm not drunk. I haven't had a drop of alcohol.” She winked and walked right past me.

I looked like a fool in the middle of the kitchen, holding that plastic pot. My mind went into a knot. What just happened? She didn't grit her teeth or try to hang me with my provocation. I frowned and opened my mouth to question, but when I turned in the direction she had gone, she was gone. I could just make out the tip of her brown hair as it passed through the wooden French door.

I quickly left the grapes on top of the black granite island and ran after Anastasia to answer the question. I held back all this time, but now that everyone is drunk, it’ll be the perfect opportunity. Even more so if she wants to kick me in the balls. It’ll be less embarrassing if no one but both of us remember.

As soon as I had set foot outside, I looked around eagerly, trying to see where Anastasia had gone. I saw her standing to my left, so I ran to her, but as soon as I got closer, I saw that she was talking to someone else, who caught my attention: Steph.

Her face was red and wet with tears as she paced back and forth, biting the nail of her left thumb. A shiver ran through my body and an unpleasant feeling hit me, like an omen. I looked around the yard and saw no sign of the boys, so I automatically tensed up.

“What happened?” I asked, analyzing her expression, which softened when it met my eyes.

“I-I…” She opened her mouth to justify herself, but her lower lip began to tremble.

“Deep breaths.” Anastasia held her hands, looking deep into her eyes.

After breathing in and out a few times, Steph calmed down. She pulled her cell phone from the back pocket of her jeans shorts and stared at me.

“I was here with the boys, singing, eating and drinking around the campfire, and I felt like going to the bathroom, so I went.” She shrugged. “When I came back, the flame was low, and the boys were sprawled on the sofa.” She pointed to the place behind her, which was where they had been partying earlier. “Only I missed Johnny, as he had been playing his guitar for who knows how long. When I asked the boys, they told me that they were going to do round 2, and that Johnny just went to get some more wood.” She moistened her lips, as if she was building up courage. “So, I joined them on the couch, while Ana went to get a drink of water. But, I got a message from Johnny asking for help.”

“Where?” I fired off.

Steph unlocked her cell phone and showed me the display, where Johnny's conversation was open. There was nothing but his message asking for help and Steph's questioning, no answers and no previews.

“I only asked, because I thought it was some kind of joke.” She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, visibly nervous. “But fifteen minutes went by, and he didn't answer me, so I got nervous and asked the boys to check it out.”

“And where are they?” Anastasia took the words out of my mouth. When I looked at her, I realized that she was as distressed as I was.

Steph didn't even have a chance to answer the question, because we heard the rustling of leaves and soon Greg, Kaleb, and Scott came into our field of vision, with Johnny clinging to their necks, limping on one leg.

“Johnny!” Anastasia and Steph ran toward him, startled. “What happened to you?” Anastasia asked.

“I fell down.” He answered with a wide smile on his face.

“How did you fall?” Anastasia insisted.

“I tripped.” He shrugged and laughed.

“You idiot!” Steph slapped his left arm. “This isn't funny!”

“In all the ways I've imagined being carried by someone, this one didn't even cross my mind.” He laughed nasally.

I couldn't help but look strangely at him. Johnny was all fucked up, with leaves and twigs clinging to his clothes and his foot reddened, gradually turning purplish, but he was laughing. Laughing. This bastard can't even put his foot down, and he's laughing! Either he's faking it, or he's gone completely insane.

“We're going to have to take him to the hospital.” Scott sighed. “He really hurt that there.” He indicated with his chin.

“It's a good thing Matt didn't drink.” Kaleb approached me, holding up one foot of John's sneakers.

“Anastasia didn’t either.” I charged.

“She doesn’t know.”

Anastasia opened her mouth to say something, but Kaleb interrupted her:

“You drive.” He smiled, shoving that stinky sneaker into my arms. I just closed my eyes, avoiding contact with that atomic bomb.

Oh, my fucking God!