Going crazy

They are back.

I can't believe that after so many years, these damned dreams have come back to haunt me. I thought I would finally have a peaceful life, with a good night's sleep, but apparently I was wrong. I looked away from the helmet in my hands and stared at the facade of Rachel's, taking in every detail.

I was supposed to be at home now, sleeping or finishing up some problem, not here. Why the fuck did I come here? I shouldn't have taken the motorcycle for a spin and sorted my thoughts out. I'm in automatic mode…

I took a long breath and rested my helmet on the motorcycle’s handlebars, resting then. I ran my hand through my hair and put my keys into my jeans pocket, walking towards Rachel's. It's not even eight in the morning, so at least I can get everything organized to when the girls arrive, they'll find everything in good shape.

As soon as I approached the entrance, I noticed that the door was half-open, meaning that someone was inside. I didn't mind, after all, Johnny always shows up around here when he gets some junk – or rather, the “quality antique”, as he calls them.

I rolled my eyes and pulled the door, stepping inside.

A shiver spread through my body as soon as I heard the first chords of a song coming from the practice room. It’s Bach-Air on G String by Johann Sebastian. It would be impossible not to recognize this melody.

At first, my heart raced, and my throat dried up, but I plucked up courage and started to drag myself in that direction. Am I delusional? Or maybe it's my mind that still hasn't gotten over last night's dream? Honestly, I don’t know.

When I got close enough, I took a deep breath and slowly pushed my head into the room. I held my breath at what I saw, and even had to rub my eyes to confirm that I was seeing consistently.

It’s the woman from the other day. She had her brown hair tied back in a high ponytail and was moving around the room with delicate gestures. Her movements were so graceful that I suddenly found myself imagining hugging her and breaking her into a thousand pieces.

I shook my head and pushed the thoughts away, trying to stay focused on the dance.

Her eyes were closed, so she still hadn't noticed me through the mirror. Among the twists and turns, I was dragged into old memories, which ripped through my chest until the end of the song.

When the last note echoed through the room, I felt numb and finally found her eyes through the mirror. She stayed in the same position for a few minutes, until she turned to me with that curious look.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, analyzing me.

“I should be asking you that, shouldn't I?” My voice came out hoarse, so I cleared my throat.

“If you've been watching me until now, I suppose you already know why.” She countered, making me laugh nasally.

She has a very sharp tongue.

“As far as I'm concerned, in addition to peeking around last time, you've just invaded and started using space that isn't yours.” I shrugged.

“You're kidding me, aren't you?” She laughed breathlessly.

“Do I look like someone who wastes time joking?” I chuckled and walked into the room, moving to the back shelf to play with the CDs.

“Has anyone ever told you that you're insufferable?” She said simply, making me look at her. “If no one has ever said it, I insist on being the first.”

“As if you're the nicest person in the world.” I snorted.

“Of course I am.” She crossed her arms under her breasts. “Everyone likes me.”

“Now you can write down the first name on your blacklist: Matthew Jones.” I forced a smile.

“There's a whole page with your name on it. Don't worry.” She narrowed her eyes.

“Calm down! That way, I'll think you're in love with me.” I smile, teasing her.

She looked at her feet and then looked into my eyes again, with a smile on her face; she took a few steps toward me and stood on her tiptoes to be my height.

“Never in a million years.” She said in a low tone and smiling. I felt a shiver spread through my body, but I stood firm and chuckled.

Steph entered the room just as the girl walked away from me.

“Oh! You’re already here!?” She exclaims and as soon as she notices my presence, she says: “Oh, and you too!”

“Hi, Steph.” I said.

“Hey, hm…” Switches her eyes between us. “This is Ana.” Steph points to the girl who had her arms crossed, glaring at me. “She… Well, she’s now be part of our group.”

“She what?” I asked. “Why?”

“She dances ballet.” She said, excited.

“So?” I arch my eyebrow.

“She’s good.” Steph argues.

“I thought we wouldn’t participate in the competition anymore.” A silence falls on the room, but I don't care. I narrow my eyes and ask: “Whose fucking idea was it?”

Steph opened her mouth, but was interrupted by the figure that entered the room.

“Dude, I can't wait to try this…” Johnny stopped his speech in mid-sentence as soon as he noticed the strange mood. He looked at Ana, then me, and finally Steph, that sighed.

Then, I got at the time whose idea was it.

“Ana, can you help me get some stuff out of Johnny's car?” She asked, looking closely at the girl.

“Sure!” She nodded at once.

I watched her lean down to get her cell phone and go after Steph.

Once we were alone, Johnny took a deep breath and put down the stereo, which was in his arms, before turning to me. I stared at him for a few minutes, trying to choose one of the thousand questions that were buzzing in my head.

“Did something happened?” He asked, resting his hands on his hips.

“Did something happened!?” I arched my eyebrows. “You still ask?” I chuckled. “What is she doing here?”

“She's part of the group now.” He shrugged his shoulders.

“Why?”

“Why do you think there is a reason?” Johnny looked at me with a frown.

“Of course there is!” I said. “You think I didn’t get it?” He opened his mouth but closed it, thinking better of it, so I continued. “She dances ballet. I know what are you thinking about, and no, I’m not enjoying this one bit.”

“Aren’t you doing this storm in a glass of water because of…”

“I’m not doing a storm in a glass of water, John.” I cut him off.

“Then what is all the fuss about?” He asked.

I stared at him, not knowing what to answer.

“Look, you know what?” I sighed. “Do whatever you want. I have nothing more to do with this.” I said and left the room without even looking back.

As soon as I got my feet outside, I bumped into Ana and Steph, who were getting something from Johnny's car. They looked at me with a huge question mark in the middle of their foreheads, but I just stared at Ana one last time and walked to my motorcycle.

I took the helmet, putting it on my head, and sat on top of the leather seat. After starting the engine, I accelerated and got out of there as quickly as possible, leaving only the roar of the engine behind. If I was rude, now I don't care anymore.

I have to put my thoughts in place, or I'll end up going crazy.