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shock state. I was in shock. You know that denial inside your brain and heart, which says no, it's not what they say and you need to hear from the person's mouth that it's all a misunderstanding? I was like this. I don't know how long I stayed that way, I just know that when I realized I was lying on my bed with my grandmother and João talking in a corner of the room.
I must have passed out from the wave of nervousness I felt, when I remember again I could feel immense agony, I couldn't be normal, a normal person would call the police, tell them what they knew. But I wasn't normal, I wasn't going to do that, I needed to find him again, even if I was his next victim, I didn't believe he would have the courage to hurt me. In fact, that's why he didn't stay with me when I asked. I needed to hear from his beautiful mouth that he had done it all.
"Daughter, you woke up!" Exclaimed my grandmother with a look of relief coming towards me. "How are you feeling?" She asked caressing my face. I tried to hold it as much as I could but I couldn't, I started crying without even wanting to.
"Hey, it's okay." João, who was standing in the room waiting for his turn to speak, came running to me and hugged me. The familiarity of that hug calmed me a little. "You can trust me and our grandmother, what happened?" he asked.
"Son, can I have her alone for a while?" She asked and he just nodded and left the room. "Eloíse, tell your grandmother the truth. Are you pregnant?" she asked with a serious look. My eyes widened in surprise.
"Of course not. Grandma I never even did anything like that." I replied embarrassed.
"So what happened? You eat well, it can't be weakness. Tell me. I'm worried!" She said trying to stay calm. In order not to make her more distressed, I decided to tell a half truth.
"I'm in love with a man." I said and she was surprised. "I found out some bad things about him, I think it came as a shock to me, I ended up passing out from the stress. I bet it was." I explained trying to keep my voice steady and not show how shaken I was.
"Oh my God... Come here my princess. This will all pass, I don't know what you found out and this is about you. But I want you to know that if it works, it will. Don't worry my love. Thanks Oh god that's it, I was so worried!" My grandmother was so relieved that she hugged me so tightly that she almost suffocated me.
"I'm not ready to introduce you to you yet, but maybe one day. I don't even know if we'll ever be together…" I said sadly.
"You are beautiful, sweet and kind. When the right man comes along he will know how to see all that and much more that you have there." He spoke and pointed to my heart. "When it's fate, it happens." Completed. I also believed in fate the same way she did. "I'm off now so you can talk to your friend. I know he's looking forward to taking care of you too." She kissed me on the forehead, I smiled at him with teary eyes and then she left.
Joao came silently through the door and sat down on the bed opposite me.
"Not pregnant. Isn't she?" he asked in a low voice giving me a look of affection.
"Only if the child was yours." I joked and he smiled.
"There's my friend back." He said smiling and came to lie down next to me. We pulled back the covers and lay on our backs. I was involuntarily reminded of the day Julian had slept in this bed with me.
Me singing him to sleep and then waking up and seeing him at my side peacefully. When he said he didn't sleep and having him sleep felt so good, so satisfying. My eyes filled with tears, he couldn't be a monster. My heart pleaded.
"Tell me, what's going on? Pumpkin candy please, I've never seen you so sad." I gave a small smile and that only made me want to cry more.
"Remember Julian?" I asked willing to tell something.
"Of course, the Greek God you fell in love with at first sight." Said with disdain.
"I'm really in love, and he wants nothing to do with me." I spoke softly.
"What do you mean? You are the most beautiful girl in the world!" he exclaimed and I knew he meant it. Of course I wasn't, but to him I was and that was what mattered.
"Pretty isn't important... But that's the problem... He's the most beautiful guy I've ever seen." I spoke thinking of Julian and his beautiful eyes.
"I'm getting jealous!" exclaimed John. "But I'm sorry, how long have you known him?"
"Three days. I think... But that doesn't matter João, nobody controls the damn heart!" I said upset.
"Okay, okay... I'm sorry. But why did you faint?"
"I was stressed and hadn't had lunch yet." I lied.
"I know you little girl. But I know how to wait for the right moment, when I'm ready to tell, I'll be all ears." He answered and we lay there in silence.
Then João started to bring up various subjects that made me smile. He was so good, he never took his problems out on me when I was the one who needed him. He could distract me in an instant, João was a very good human being and a great friend. The best of all.
After some time he needed to go, he would also meet Antonella to start the work. I was going to do the same too, I had to be ready for when Harry arrived, I wasn't in the mood to face his rudeness. So I got up and faced an icy water.
Twenty minutes later I was ready. I took out my cell phone and texted Harry; "Where are you?"
"Down here." Answered immediately. I looked out the window and he was there, with a white shirt and black pants, his tattoos showing and hair kind of messed up. He was really handsome.
I went downstairs and found Dona Florence sitting on the sofa reading a book.
"I'm going..." I spoke softly, she already knew I was going to do the work, I had commented with her in the cafe.
"Take care my love, anything just call me. Did you get any money?" she asked.
"Yes, I did. See you later." I kissed her and left.
I was only wearing a pair of jeans and a kitty sweatshirt. On her feet a nude pink sneaker and natural loose hair. I was so down inside with the news earlier that I didn't have the mood for anything, I was just going to do that work so I wouldn't get a low grade.
"Hey." I greet Harry.
"Hello." He answered me with a smile. We got in the car and I showed him where the library-café-lan house was.
"What the fuck! I forgot my work materials." He roared, punching the steering wheel.
"It was just what was needed. Now what?" I asked, but the reality was that nothing else would surprise me that day.
"Now I have to go get it at my house, right!" Said going around the roundabout.
"Leave me here at the cafe, I'll wait for you here." I spoke when I saw that we were very close.
"No. It's going to delay everything, let's go quickly, you wait for me in the car. Do you think I'm going to do something to you?" he said and his tone was angry.
"Let's just go then. I'm not in the best shape to discuss anything! Especially useless things." I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms on the bench.
"Then be quiet." He said.
The way to his house took about twenty minutes, he told me it was close, so I figured if it was far, it would be further than walking to my school. When he suddenly entered a closed condominium, it was huge and there were only luxurious houses, it was a little far from the neighboring cities and had a small forest around it.
I was stunned by the beauty of the houses there, they were very large, they were not ordinary houses, they had something more in their architecture, they had valuable details for those who appreciated them. Harry stopped in front of a cream colored house on the outside with giant black gates so you couldn't see much inside.
"Did you like it?" Harry asked seeing my delighted face.
"Yes, the houses here are amazing!" I replied looking at everything with admiration.
"Want to come in?" He asked me with shining eyes. I was still looking at the neighboring houses, when a detail ahead caught my attention, a car identical to the one Julian had used to get me dirty on the first day, was parked in front of the house a few steps ahead.
"No... I don't want to be late, go get your things, I'm waiting here." I replied with my breath already panting for what I was seeing there ahead.
He just nodded and got out of the car into his magnificent mansion. When I saw that he had entered, I quickly got out of the car and walked with long strides to where that vehicle was. It was him, I was sure of it, it was Julian's car! Did he live there? I looked at the house where the car was and it was very big, it was dark, everything in it was dark, but it was beautiful, something in the darkness always caught my attention. Like cloudy days.
My heart swelled with hope that I could see him and look into his eyes and ask if he had done everything they said. Heavens I couldn't believe it. My heart was so racing with a mixture of anxiety and happiness, deep down there was also fear. I leaned against the car and it was warm, which meant it had just been used. The house had a huge garden and very well maintained, I looked everything carefully trying to find someone I could call. But it didn't.
But something inside me knew, it had seen me, it knew I was close. I don't know how I knew this, but it was the hot body and racing heart, the sweaty palms and the shivers all over my body. After that he would look for me again. I was sure.












