11

I walked all over my room without being able to sleep, I put on some series to watch but I couldn't concentrate on any, so I took them off. I took out my cell phone several times to see if I had any calls from Julian, any messages. But nothing, there was nothing. I was so attached to him in such a short time that it scared the shit out of me. Sometimes I stopped to think about what was going on and it was just too weird.

My window was the one I visited the most that morning, I even spent a few minutes hugging him with the towel he dried himself with the other day, it still had his unique smell. When I realized it, I threw it into the laundry basket and looked at myself in the mirror. Furious with myself I stopped to analyze the truth. I was obsessed.

When I finally managed to sleep a wink, guess who was there, dominating my dreams? Exactly him, Julian.

In that dream, he was coming towards me, walking slowly like a predator about to catch its prey. His intense blue eyes were burning into me like the only thing he wanted at that moment was to look at me and see beyond me, my soul. I was lying on the bed motionless and with my mind screaming for him, when he approached the bed, he smiled and leaned over my feet massaging them and then giving light kisses.

My body squirmed, just the touch of his lips took me to heaven. Continuing with the light kisses on my skin, he went up until he reached my intimacy. Inside my panties it was very wet and throbbing, it was an uncontrollable need to be filled, to be quenched. By him.

I woke up startled by my grandmother knocking and calling at the door.

"Eloise!" Called her.

"Hey?" I got up scared not knowing what day and what time it was.

"Why didn't you go to class today? I called you today before going for a walk, when I come back you're still sleeping with the door locked." She said and I heard a note of concern in her voice.

"Oh dear. I'm sorry grandma, I couldn't sleep well last night, when I fell asleep it was just now, I ended up losing track of how tired I was." I explained as I got up quickly and opened the door.

"I understand daughter. But are you okay?" She asked looking at me.

"Yes I am." I replied and tried to give my best smile.

"Stay at home today, it's okay to miss just one day, you hardly have any absences, don't you?" She spoke and smiled. "I'll make coffee."

"Thank you grandma. You know I love you don't you?" She said smiling and she gave me a hug. I so needed that hug.

"I love you more." She said smoothing my hair, I held myself back from crying and breaking down.

Dona Florence came down and I went back in. With the fright I took when I woke up, I hadn't stopped to think about the dream I had, my face heated up at the same time when I remembered. What would have happened if I hadn't woken up?

I gave a disappointed sigh, I was curious now to know the rest of the dream. It was good. I felt my intimacy moist, now ready, Julian besides dominating my thoughts, now he dominated my dreams. And erotic dreams! I was so screwed, never in my life had I dreamed of something like this. Never in my life had I thought about that, much less had my body been like this before.

My vibrating cell phone brought me back. I ran to answer it, it was an unknown number, my heart sped up at the thought that maybe, maybe it was him.

"Hello." She said only anxiously waiting for the voice on the other side to reveal who it was.

"Good morning Miss Espinoza." It was Harry's voice, it was full of sarcasm.

"Oh, it's you. Good morning Mr. Barriere." I replied disappointed and trying to return the same dose of sarcasm.

"I don't know if you remember, but I have a work in pairs for us to do and teacher Graça scolded me through no fault of my own because of the pretty girl who skipped class today."

"I have my reasons ok? I asked her how many absences I have, I bet she will tell you: only one, which is today. I'm not feeling well, that's why I didn't go. But we can get together later to talk about it ." I explained upset.

"And what about you? Not that I minded or anything."

"Heartache." I replied and stifled a laugh.

"This is serious. Have you been to the doctor?" She asked returning her voice to normal.

"I thought you didn't mind…" I said softly.

"I care about the good of every human being. Don't feel special." He said.

"I didn't feel it, that's for sure." I took a break. "Nearby there's an amazing coffee shop, where many students gather to study and everything else, it includes a library and a small Lan house." I proposed.

"I'll stop by at three o'clock to pick you up and you can take me there. If you refuse to get in the car, I'll do the work myself and keep the note to myself."

"Okay Harry. Now bye!" I said, I didn't like his bipolarity. Sometimes nice, sometimes arrogant.

"Goodbye." She answered and hung up.

I looked at the rest of calls and there was a message from Olivia; Matheus wants to come back, wants to explain himself, what do I do?

I replied; You who know friend. But in my opinion he could have explained it there, at the moment it all happened, not after a while, where he could devise a story to convince you.

Another two missed calls from John and three messages;

Won't you come to school?

Are you well?

Pumpkin!!!

I did not answer. I went to the bathroom and took a cold shower even though it was cold. I put on some different pajamas, it would stay that way until it was time to get ready to meet Harry and we'd do work.

I had my breakfast, I cleaned the house for my grandmother, even though it wasn't dirty, I needed to do something to distract my mind. My grandma went out, went to the book club she always went to in the morning while I was at school, it was weird not to. It had never happened before and it felt like a whole other routine.

When I finished cleaning what wasn't dirty, I sat on the couch and turned on the TV. Maybe there was a cartoon playing, anything to keep me from thinking about Julian. I started flipping through the channels and nothing good was coming through. When a piece of news caught my attention, I stopped on that channel and my heart nearly exploded.

I don't know what happened, but it was the craziest feeling in the universe, my heart had never beaten so fast like that, it felt like I was going to have a sudden heart attack. My hands went cold and my mouth was as dry as the desert. On the news there was the photo of Julian. Not as he currently was, he was different, younger and thinner in the picture. But it was him.

"Photo of the escaped maniac Julian Vicenzo Esguerra, has just been released by the police investigating the escape case and by the Harbow Whit psychiatric hospital. that the murderous maniac reacts. Also remembering that he was in prison at the Harbow Whit psychiatric hospital for having killed his entire family, parents, brothers, wife and children, in addition to dozens of victims in neighboring towns ten years ago. that if anyone knows of his whereabouts or sees him by chance, run away and call the police immediately."

It was like I had just come out of shock therapy. I felt a real pain now, in my heart. I couldn't believe it, I wasn't believing it. With fiery tears falling uncontrollably from my eyes. I remembered what he had told me.

"I'm crazy."

"The place where I lived made me fall asleep to the pain."

The day he arrived bloodied saying that the others were worse off than he was. What others would they be?

"I do not sleep."

"I'm a monster."

"I'm surprised I didn't hurt you like I did the others."

How could I be so stupid? God! I got in the car with him, he slept in my bed, next to me! I sang him to sleep! He came to say goodbye and I almost begged him to stay, I almost begged for us to stay together even though I hadn't known him for a long time. What could I do if my heart felt that? It was something I had never felt before, it was new and I couldn't control it.

I kissed him, I let him touch me, I was at his mercy so many times he could have made me another victim. I had an erotic dream about him! I didn't believe it, I couldn't imagine Julian being capable of such cruelty. I had thought it a mere coincidence that he had the same name as the maniac. But never, in any of my wildest dreams and my blunders could I imagine it was him.

Blind. I was blind. And worst of all. Passionate.