10

olivia

I shudder all over when I hear Agnelo's deep voice. What does love do to us, right? A simple exchange of looks, a word, a gesture, a touch is capable of making your body go to heaven and back. That's how I feel when Agnelo comes close to me. And I hate myself for it too.

"Eloise, I'm coming!" I exclaim wiping my tears and my friend understands why.

"If you want, you can stay. Don't let him know it bothers you." She says in a soft tone.

"He doesn't even need to know I'm here, tomorrow I'll come see you again." I say and hurry to leave.

"Alright then. Come back, you're really missing these days. Stay well, I love you, okay?"

"I love you too." I speak and smile at her. "See you, Aunt Liv's little doll." I whisper to Julie who sleeps like a little angel.

I go out of the room and see Julian at the door of the next room talking quietly to someone, Agnelo to be exact. With quick steps I walk towards the stairs, but Julian bumps into me as he turns to close the door.

"Oh hello Olivia." Julian greets me with a smile.

"Hello, Julian. How are you?" I ask the usual rhetorical question.

"As good as it gets. How about you?" kindly reciprocate.

"Taking…" I reply and wave my hand. "I'm going, see you later."

"Until, come back often." I nod and he enters the baby's room where Eloise is.

I hear Julian say something about Agnelo to his wife inside the room but I ignore it, I need to get out of here as soon as possible, I don't want to meet Agnelo again. I'm capable of killing him. In a hurry to get to the stairs, I see when Agnelo opens the door of the room he was in and grabs my arm.

"There!" I exclaim and look at the person in front of me.

"You are here." Agnelo speaks through his teeth, apparently he's not doing well.

"No! Imagine, my ghost is here!" I answer in a gruff tone and he gives a grim smile.

"I like the way you are. I like it a lot." He growls and brings his lips to my neck.

"Let go of me..." I ask almost succumbing to my body's desires when he holds my waist tightly putting me against the wall.

"I need to talk to you, seriously." He looks at me in the eyes.

"Then speak quickly. I have an appointment and I need to leave soon." Demand.

"What appointment? The fucking Doctor Salvatore?" His voice sounds choked and altered.

"Are you going to start, dammit?" I bristle and release my arm from his grasp.

"It needs to be private, let's go into the room." Without wasting time I open the door and pull him inside, closing it behind me.

"Now speak!" I ask crossing my arms impatiently.

"Stay with me, just for the night?" Agnelo looks at me pleadingly, his eyes are filled with a strange glow, which makes me hold my gauze inside them.

But I'm still really hurt, he was horrible to me earlier hurting me so my heart broke into pieces.

"Have you already forgotten what you told me earlier today? What do you think I am? A toy?" I protest furiously and deeply hurt by his words spoken in cruel ways.

"I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry, I'm just begging you to sleep with me tonight. Isn't that what you wanted from me? Fuck, come and get out?" I swallow hard as a wave of tears wants to spill over my eyes, but I won't give him the pleasure of seeing me cry. His words have a double effect on me, even when they are said to hurt me badly.

"You've had too much to drink, but you're an idiot! Are you listening to yourself? I hate you Agnelo, I hate you!" I scream at him, not being able to hold back the tears that prevent me from breathing.

"You don't hate me, maybe you might, but it's my cock you want inside you, isn't it?" He says with the look of someone who really wants to hurt my heart.

"Go fuck yourself!" I shout grabbing my bag that I left on the floor and turning my back on him.

Shit, it wasn't meant to be, but it hurts. His words hurt me more than they should have.

"Get the fuck back here!" he exclaims grabbing my arm.

"Let me go!" I order pulling him back.

But in addition to letting me go, he pulls me and collides our lips, I let out a groan of pain and bite his mouth with hate.

"Don't think you can kiss me whenever you want, I won't sleep with you, ever again!" I decree and slap him across the face.

"My angry little beast, do you like to hit me? I want to hit me like that in bed." Every word he speaks makes me hate him more, I want to throttle this son of a bitch.

He is clearly out of his mind!

Tired of wasting my breath on something that isn't worth it, that won't result in anything, I leave through that door slamming it hard, in the middle of that corridor my heart hurts inside my chest, what the fuck have I done falling in love with an idiot, for running after a bastard who is not worth the ground he walks on.

"Fuck! Get back here woman!" I hear Agnelo shout opening the door and walking behind me. "I can't live without your body anymore, please…" The last part comes out as a whisper, but it stops me.

Unfortunately your words move something in me. Would I be foolish to go back into the arms of a man who just used and humiliated me? What if the next day he wakes up and kicks me out like the other day?

"I beg…" he whispers but still I don't turn around. "I never begged for anything in my life, you came along and changed everything inside of me, tell me what spell did you use on me? Fuck, fuck months ago and I remember, it was just looking at you again that I couldn' t to avoid taking you in my arms again, the day i took you to my house, i will never forget how perfect your body is in every way.It's been a week since then, a week where the only thing i think about in life it's on you. I'm no good, I never was and it won't be now that I'm going to be, I don't want to deceive you with empty promises, so I'll be honest: be mine for one more night? The last one." More sensitive than ever these past few days, I feel the hot tears come down.

He's right, of course nothing justifies his act earlier today, I'm still very sad for him, but he's being honest. Agnelo never promised me anything, much less fidelity, maybe this love I think I feel is a passing thing, the fruit of a good fuck and the fact that he gave me the first orgasm of my life. What I feel can be admiration and lust, a burning and mutual desire, that's all.

And to confirm, to be sure, I will spend the last night with Agnelo. If he's a boor who just wants my body, why can't I just want his body too? Having sex in an unforgettable way so that he never, in his life of lust after that, finds someone who makes him delirious, just like I'm going to do today.

From then on we will go on with our lives, with only the small memories that a person without amnesia is capable of remembering.