20

olivia

The following months flew by like a bird fleeing the rain, they went by so fast that sometimes I forget the belly I'm carrying when I get up in a hurry and I almost get stuck without being able to move for a few seconds. As time went by I learned to get used to the idea that I was pregnant, I was the one who wavered, my baby was not to blame for anything.

Mother. Not even in my worst dreams did I think about it, now here I am carrying an eight month old belly. I keep working, my goal is to work until he is born. He is a boy, I searched the internet for several names with the letter O, I insisted that his name was similar to mine, Olívio, I hated it, but when I read: Otto, I fell in love and decided that this would be the name of my pimpolho.

In all my ultrasounds, João and Eloíse were with me, they got emotional together when we found out it was going to be a little boy, I pray every day that he looks just like me and doesn't look like Agnelo, please baby. ..

When I'm in the office, Salvatore ignores me incredibly, he's taken to literally pretending I don't exist, one day he saw me and looked at my belly, it's not that big after all, but he looked so disdainfully that II felt like sending him to hell! What does my baby have to do with our mess? Anything.

Now I understand overprotective mothers, I imagine that if in the future someone messes with Otto, I'm capable of doing something stupid to defend him. During the night is when he gets more excited, he kicks so much that I cry in pain, but the crying is a mixture of happiness and love, the love is so big that it doesn't fit in my chest. I get emotional every day when I look in the mirror and notice how I've changed, how this child, even without knowing anything, has turned me into a strong and warrior woman.

My days of being locked inside a room crying over unrequited love are over. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, it hurts a lot, I still love Agnelo, however, I need to live, life goes on, it can't stop.

I've thought it would be the end of the world several times, I've actually lived the end of the world several times, and the next day everything was fine. Because like it or not, it's okay.

"Come on, Liv. Stop being lazy." João begs at the foot of the couch that I'm lying on.

"Oh no, João... I'm tired, it's Sunday!" I grumble.

My brother stopped sleeping at Larissa's house months ago, claims he doesn't want to leave me alone, doesn't let me do anything, but today, he wants to go to her nephew's birthday and is begging me to go, thus being his conscience it will not be disturbed by either side.

"You can go, seriously, I'll be fine." I try to convince him one more time.

"No. I'd rather stay with you here, if you're not going, I won't either. Are you crazy? Otto could be born at any moment." He argues.

"It's okay, João, you convinced me. I'm going to take a shower." I get up and go to the bathroom.

He has on several occasions stopped going out and doing various things to be with me, this worsened when I passed six months, according to him the baby could be born at any moment, I feel so loved by him that I am capable of doing anything for my brother, I have to show my gratitude by going with him to this little party.

Two hours later, here I am at a party with a bunch of kids running around, Joao has disappeared with his beloved girlfriend and I'm sitting there telling some lame jokes to some kids and eating my fourth piece of cake.

"Auntie, what's your name again?" A dark-skinned little boy asks.

"Olivia, but you can call me Liv." I answer smiling.

"Okay, and what's that in your belly?" He asks with an intrigued look and I am amused.

"A baby..." I whisper pretending to be telling a secret.

"Wow that's great!" He exclaims softly and smiles. "You are very beautiful." He says.

"Thank you, you are also very handsome, what is your name?" I ask.

"Angelo." I smile. Beautiful name.

I look to the side and see João and Larissa coming down a ladder, the two are smiling a lot, without a doubt that they have done something wrong. I yawn, I ate, I drank, now I just want to sleep, tomorrow is day.

"Can you take me now?" I ask approaching them.

"But, already?" Larissa steps in.

"Yes, I need to sleep, tomorrow I have to work." I answer.

"Sure, let's go." João speaks and says goodbye to his girlfriend with a kiss on the mouth.

Then he takes my hand and we go home.

After we get home, I go straight to the bathroom, take a quick shower and lie down, I look at the clock and it's not even that late, it's only eight o'clock and I'm falling asleep.

Suddenly I wake up in the middle of the night with a strange feeling in my body, I go to the bathroom and pee, I look at the toilet while I dry myself and I see small spots of blood, my blood freezes and I immediately run to João's room to call him . As soon as I open the door, he's still standing.

"Hey how's it going?" Quickly when you see me, come to me.

"I don't know, I went to the bathroom just now and some drops of blood came out in the pee, could it be something bad?" I ask worried.

"We'd better go to the doctor, let's go right now." He speaks with a worried look and I shudder with fear.

"But I'm not feeling anything..." I say but suddenly I feel a huge urge to vomit.

I run to the bathroom and put everything I ate out, a wave of nausea hits me and I can no longer breathe normally, along with the difficulty of breathing, I feel a strong pain in my stomach.

"Calm down, calm down..." João strokes my hair as I vomit and moan in pain.

"It's hurting a lot. Does the baby want to be born yet? It's not time..." I speak with difficulty.

"As soon as you are feeling better to leave, we will immediately go to the hospital." He talks and continues to help me.

"I want to go now. I'm scared there's something wrong with my son." I ask and he helps me up.

"Come on, it's going to be okay my love." He hugs me and then takes the bag that I had prepared two days ago with Eloíse's help, since I had no idea what to take to the maternity ward.

Maybe I fell asleep suddenly, but all I know is that after that my vision darkened and I lost all my senses, I don't remember anything else, it seems that I was anesthetized and sent to the universe of emptiness.

I open my eyes with difficulty, I can barely see, my head throbs and my body aches as if a truck has passed and passed over me, I hear beeping noises, I finally manage to open my eyes and I am faced with a completely white room and a man, I look more closely at John, standing in the bedroom doorway. I try to call him out but my throat is dry and my voice won't come out.

My baby! I look at my already flat belly and despair, where is the baby that was inside? I really want to scream and ask, but I can't, my voice doesn't come out, I can barely move. Fortunately João looks at me and realizes that I'm awake, he approaches smiling and caresses my face.

"Everything is fine, they needed to do an urgent cesarean section, you were losing a lot of fluid and blood, Otto is strong and very handsome, he went straight to the incubator, you need to be calm and rest, so that you are healthy to take care of my nephew." He explains it to me smoothly.

It's impossible to hold back the tears of emotion, my baby was born, I really hope he's okay and that João isn't just trying to reassure me. I'm literally a mother now, god! What happiness!

"Promise he's really okay?" I ask crying.

"Yes I promise." He responds and shakes my hand.

"I want to see him, please…" I ask weakly.

My anxiety to see my baby is so great that my tears take a long time to stop, my heart is racing and a feeling greater than anything I've ever felt, overflows through my eyes, the most beautiful love anyone could feel, it's the love that a mother feels for her son.