21

agnelo

I pick up my cell phone on the table and once again, in the middle of the night, I dial the number I memorized more than three years ago, Olivia never answered me again, maybe it's because of my condition when I call. It's true that I've always left it to call when I get drunk and I even forget my name, she's already changed her number several times because of me, but I always find out . I've already been to her house, but she wasn't there, on any of the occasions, I'm aware that I brutally hurt her heart.

For me the years went by so fast I hardly noticed. My life has been so monotonous that sometimes I think about suicide, real chaos, my work routine and drinks, sometimes women, but at the end of the night I end up calling them all Olivia, they get angry and leave, cursing me all over the place. possible ugly names.

I'm obsessed, desperate, crazy about her, never, until today, I managed to find someone who made me feel in bed what she did, my girl, I miss having my hands on your body so much that if I meet you on the street, I am able to kidnap her.

I know she could be married and now she's a mother, that's why she doesn't answer me, or doesn't live at the same address anymore, she could be happy with someone else... And fuck! I hate to think about it that way, but unfortunately it's impossible not to imagine that now she's much better off without me.

I'm crazy about her, for exactly five years I've been crazy and obsessed with the same woman, if fate, by chance, wants us together, I promise that when I meet Olivia again, I'll do everything differently, I 'll try not to be an asshole and yes a real man, someone who deserves to be with her. I will overthrow all my fears, my past, my trauma, for her I know it's worth it, I can't stand living like this anymore, in agony I'm sure something is missing. Until I face Doctor Salvatore, to take her for myself, I will.

"Honey, the shopping is over, you need to go do it." The girl who cleans my house alerts me the next morning when she arrives.

"I know. I'll go to the market later Margareth, don't worry." I say and get up to take a shower.

"And stop drinking, boy! If something ails you, try to fix it, don't sit at the bottom of the well and carry it on. Life goes on, and for problems, we must face them!" She exclaims and begins her work.

I shrug but there is great meaning in his words, I really am at rock bottom, more like a depressed man who lives isolated from people. And all this is whose fault? My.

I get ready quickly, I wear a black suit with a white shirt and no tie, I take my briefcase and go downstairs, I will stop somewhere for coffee and after that I will go to work, I will have to leave early to buy some things, some drinks too, since I consumed everything I had.

A few files to trash, a few criminals to chase, names to investigate... Same old, every day.

Tired, at the end of the day, I gather my things and make my way to the nearest supermarket, looking at my face in the rearview mirror, I realize how dead I am inside, it all shows in my big beard and my dark circles , it's been three years since I don't sleep well.

I park the car and go into the big store, grab a cart and start picking up all the food, I don't plan on going out shopping anytime soon again. While I get the ticket for the meat and wait for my turn, I head towards the drinks section.

I look through the shelves and just as I'm about to grab my Johnnie Walker whiskey I hear a familiar voice, my heart races instantly and my stomach tightens like there's a fridge inside. That fucking voice! Is she the one here?

Like a desperate man I start looking around for her, I walk to the next shelf when I see her, beautiful, that's her. Certainty. I think about approaching, but I get stuck in the same place as soon as I see a dark-haired boy approaching her, I move a little behind the shelf of sweets, in order to analyze the scene, astonished.

"Mom, can I take this one?" The child's perfect voice strangely makes my eyes fill with tears.

"I thought you liked the color better." She talks about a box of cereal he's holding.

"Hnm... Can I take both?!"

I can't take my eyes off the boy, it's her son... The one she had with Doctor Salvatore.

"Take as many as you like, my love. Do you want stuffed cookies or no stuffed cookies?" She asks and strokes the boy's head.

"I want all." He responds excitedly and runs to the cereal.

I get lost in the middle of tears of emotion when I see the scene, it feels like I've seen this boy before. Maybe I didn't realize that I've been staring at them for so long that I'm startled by small hands nudging me.

"Will you excuse me?" It's Olivia's little boy, looking closer he's even prettier.

Fair skin, straight dark hair, black eyes, he doesn't look like the Doctor.

"Of course, I'm sorry." I speak and smile.

"My mother is waiting for me, but I can't reach there, can you get that candy for me, please?" He asks and my heart warms more and more.

"What's your name?" Indago getting the candy for him.

"Otto, and you?" he retorts. What a polite boy.

"Agnelo, nice to meet you Otto. You are a very handsome young man." I speak still enchanting with the features of the boy.

"Thanks, my mom said I'm just like my dad." I smile.

"You look nothing like Salvatore." I speak smiling.

"Who is Salvatore?" he asks frowning and I widen my eyes.

"Isn't that your father's name?" I ask.

"At the!" He exclaims smiling. "My father's name is Agnelo, just like you, the mother who said so." I swallow hard, feeling my blood run cold in my veins. "Bye, my mommy is calling me." He runs away.

What the fuck is going on?! Fuck... I feel sick, my heart is beating like a drum and my blood seems to have stopped circulating in my body. I blink several times, Olivia, with her son, his father's name is Agnelo. Fuck, fuck... Of course the boy doesn't look like Salvatore, he looks like me. The boy is my face! I knew I'd seen this boy before, and it's in my pictures from when I was a kid.

Like a flashback, a movie goes through my head, when Olivia threw those pregnancy tests in my face, she didn't want to say that she was going to be happy building a family with someone else, she went to tell me that she was pregnant with my child. Cum! For an investigator I was very slow, love made me blind and stupid.

In my moment of analogy of my stupidity, I lose sight of them, I start to go all over the supermarket looking for them but I can't find them. Is that really what I'm thinking or am I going crazy creating paranoia? Never mind, I'll get this story straight right now.

I check out what I've already bought and drive to Julian and Eloise's house, they'll have to tell me how to find Olivia, or I'll end up freaking out for good. I arrive in less than twenty minutes but no one is home. I decide to act on my own, I go back home and on the secret services computer I try to find her phone number again. Since it's already night, I decide to wait until the next day to call.

When dawn breaks, I go down to the bank in the building to buy a new chip, I hope she answers me because if I don't, I die. Damn hell! What is happening? Today I didn't go to work, now it's almost noon and I need to solve this soon.

I go back upstairs to the apartment and immediately call her after registering the new number. She doesn't answer at first, but I don't give up. I call six more times and finally hear the soft voice that makes my skin crawl.

"Hello."

"Olivia." I only speak her name and I feel that she immediately recognizes my voice.

"Agnelo..." She says softly.

"Hey." I speak biting my lips mentally begging her not to hang up.

"Look…" Immediately I cut her off.

"Olivia, I need to find you, I've done everything to find you, to talk to you. Please come to my house or tell me where you're living." I speak and a silence arises. "Please I beg you."

"I don't feel like seeing you. Forget about me Agnelo, we have nothing to do with each other anymore." She speaks and it hurts like a stab in the chest.

"I saw you yesterday, I saw the boy you were with." I speak to try to decipher his reaction.

"Stay away from me and my son!" she exclaims.

"Tell me the truth. Who is his father?" I ask hopefully.

"You drew your own conclusions almost four years ago." she exclaims.

"Damn it, Olivia! The kid looks just like me. Tell me, am I his father?" She is silent.

"I'll come over to your apartment later." She speaks and hangs up.