Chapter 26 Turn of the Tide

“I-is she having a heart attack or something?” asked Richard. He’s almost stuttering getting his tongue tangled up when he saw Elaine having difficulty trying to catch her breath.

If Tan had his way, he wanted to kill Richard right then and there. But he let him run away when he saw his burning glare.

Tan knew better. Elaine wasn’t having a heart attack, she just felt like she was having one. Her eyes were out of focus, she looked like she was separated from her surroundings while extreme fear was clear from her enlarged eyes.

With such a heavy heart Tan sat beside her. He took her cold and trembling hands from her chest. It was like he was repeatedly being punched in the chest as she held them.

Using her thumb, he wiped the tears streaming from her eyes. He saw her blinked then stared at her though the gaze was still not yet focused.

Tan gently squeezed her palm.

“Look at me, Elaine. I’m here. It’s all right,” he said in a quiet, gentle voice. “No one’s going to harm you. I won’t let anyone hurt you,” he repeatedly assured her.

A tear fell from Elaine’s eye and Tan needed to swallow the imaginary lump in his throat. He couldn’t stop himself – he reached for her and held her close. He didn’t have any idea what kind of fear she’s been going through. But it was as if he’s being strangled seeing her suffer this way.

Moments later, Tan felt her breathing slowly calmed down, her muscles felt less tense. Then, the whole episode she experienced ended.

When Elaine realized being in somebody’s arms, she went still then she tried to free herself. There was confusion in her eyes. She immediately stood up when she recognized who the man hugging him was.

She swayed when she tried to stand. Tan stood up. Without a word, he carried her in his arms. Elaine wanted to protest, but she knew she wasn’t strong enough to do just that. Her knees still felt wobbly.

On her way back, they came across Primo, Jenna and Danielle who seemed to have questions, but just chose to follow them with their eyes.

Elaine hugged her knees close when she carefully sat by the mat inside the tent. The cold weather was making its way through her jacket and jeans. Her dishevelled hair fell loose about her face. She wanted to remove the loose strands of hair from her face, but she can’t command her body to follow.

She desperately prayed for someone to come and save her minutes ago. She imagined Tan talking to her, she thought she heard his soft, soothing voice, his warm hand tightly holding hers. Giving her assurance that he was there with her and he won’t let anyone hurt her again. Those thoughts pulled her back to reality – just to find herself being hugged by him for real.

“I know it’s hard but try to get some sleep,” he said.

She slightly put her head towards him. “ R-Richard…”

Silence.

“Let’s deal with him tomorrow.”

Elaine was restless. Was she alone when Tan saw her next to the CR? What did he see? Did he saw her having an attack? Was that why he’s speaking softly now? Elaine moved when Tan tapped the sleeping mat he fixed for her. She laid sideways, her back to him. She couldn’t meet his gaze.

Elaine closed her eyes. Several moments have passed but she knew Tan was still sitting and hasn’t moved. She had a feeling he was watching her.

She could hear his heavy sighs every now and then. Then Tan got up and went outside. The cold weather probably helped. Elaine didn’t notice, slowly she was falling asleep.

IT took Tan more than an hour to came back to their tent. Elaine laid curl up. He was sure she was still cold under her blanket.Tan sat beside her.

He could hear her gentle breathing, a sign that she was deep in slumber. He removed the jacket he was wearing and put it over her body.

He knew when Elaine went out of the tent a few hours ago. He couldn’t stand to let her go alone so he decided to follow her outside. He was on his way out when he saw that she left her scarf. It got entangled with her bag. When he tried to pull it, the bag fell open.

He felt kicked back to the past when a white medicine bottle rolled out from her bag…

====FLASHBACK====

SEPTEMBER 10, 2017

DE MARCO RESIDENCE, QUEZON CITY

Tan was seated by the side of the bed. He was holding a PET bottle that he found on the side table a while ago.

He was about to get in his car when he decided to go back and remind Elaine of their dinner date later that evening. He wanted to make it up to her. He doesn’t see any other reason why she was being moody aside from the fact that maybe she feels he wasn’t giving her enough of his time.

It hasn’t been a year since they got married. They should still be in the honeymoon stage. But his attention was divided because of his hectic schedule in the hospital.

He wanted to give Elaine the assurance that even though he has been busy with his sworn duty, she’s the one in his mind afterwards.

Tan didn’t lift his head to see even though he heard the bathroom door open and Elaine walked out of it. She just finished taking a bath. She was wearing a robe and had a towel wrapped on her hair.

“I thought you were on your way?” she said upon seeing him.

“Since when have you been taking this?” he asked quietly. Slightly raising the medicine bottle he was holding.

Elaine looked at it. Tan couldn’t dare look at her in the eye. He felt he was being punched in the gut whenever he looks at his wife’s emotionless eyes.

Elaine stepped closer and snatched the bottle from him. He threw it hard into the drawer. “When have you learned to go through my stuff?”

“You haven’t answered my question.” He could not get himself to stand and face her.

He heard her familiar, irritated breath. “I already told you, I don’t want to get pregnant.”

“Why?”

“Because you won’t listen to me! You don’t even have time for me and now you want added responsibility?”

Tan let out a sigh. Finally he was able to look at his wife who had her arms crossed and was staring back at him.

Gone was the sparkle in her eyes every time they were together. Irritation and disgust took their place totally. She always appeared to be fighting with him even though he was just having a normal conversation with her.

“I’m not fighting with you, Elaine. I just don’t understand. I wanted us to start a family. I told you I’ll make a way to lessen my time in the hospital.”

“Why are you killing yourself in that damn hospital when you could just sit around in Textile and earn so much more?”

Tan’s forehead wrinkled.”You keep mentioning Textile. I told you already, I don’t have plans of replacing Papa.”

“And I thought I made it clear, Tan. I want a rich husband who will change my status in life. I don’t need a small time doctor who is okay with being ordered around.”

Tan sighed. As time passes by, it seems like he was living with a different person. “Is there anything else I am not providing you? We are not living in poverty, Elaine. You are able to buy whatever you want. I’m not stopping you, am I?”

“You just don’t understand,” she said as she seems to be running out of patience.

“Please make me understand,”

“I don’t want a child!” she snapped. “If u want one and you’d force the issue, let’s just separate! Find yourself another wife, I don’t care!”

For a while Tan was stunned. His smile was bitter. “Do you hear yourself?”

Elaine raised her hands. “Don’t look at me that way. You’re staring at me as if I’m in the wrong here. What crime did I commit? I was just being honest, for God’s sake! The truth hurts so you’d rather want me to lie, is that what you want?”

Tan didn’t answer. He stared at his wife for a while before he quietly stood from where he was seated. He walked towards his wife and embraced her tightly; kissed her on the forehead with a heavy heart and stepped out of the room…

===END OF FLASHBACK====

BUT what Tan found in Elaine’s bag was not birth control pills but paroxetine. It was an antidepressant prescribed to patients with panic disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder. There are a lot of questions floating in Tan’s head. When he saw Elaine a few weeks ago in front of Lander’s bar, was she having an episode?

And there he was, instead of showing his concern and true feelings, he chose to be an asshole in front of her.

He closed his eyes tightly, heaved a deep sigh before he crawled into bed next to Elaine. He laid sideways facing her back. He put her head on his bent arm.

The urge to wrap his arms around her was huge but he reined himself. What exactly happened to Elaine when she left him? Why does he feel she was still a stranger despite her being married to him? Apart from the lying about her own mother, he feels there was a lot more she was hiding from him.

Elaine as if feeling his warm touch moaned and turned to face him. Tan caught his breath.

Then he raised his hand closer to her small face.He brushed a strand of hair from Elaine’s face and gaze at her almost unflinchingly. She still looked as pretty as a picture since the first time he laid his eyes on her nine years ago.

Tan could still remember how her dark black intriguing eyes sent his heart a thump when he looked over at her. She was seventeen then but with an aura of a fighter.

But her stares were different from the time she arrived back from America. How he wished she could stop looking at him with those teary eyes of hers and just start glaring at him again. He was more used to her getting angry at him—for no reason at all. He would choose that than see her like a kitten who can’t even raise its paw to defend itself. Just like her reaction towards Richard’s harassment a while back.

Suddenly Elaine moved and slightly touched his body. Tan reacted. He touched her cheek gently with the back of his hand. Pinned their foreheads together and let his face descend towards her face.

He closed his eyes even before his lips brushed hers. The soft, delicate kiss lingered just long enough until he could inhale Elaine’s breath. He opened his eyes, he was teary-eyed.

He missed her. Like crazy.

Tan put his arms around Elaine’s body, embraced her; kissed her on the top of her head before he closed his eyes and hugged her even more tightly.

IT was silent all around when Elaine woke up. She got up from the bed. She immediately saw Tan’s jacket covering her like a blanket. He was nowhere in the tent. Did he go with the others to the summit?

Usually, she wouldn’t be able to sleep every time she gets a panic attack at night. But surprisingly she was able to sleep soundly. She didn’t even know when Tan came back or if he slept beside her last night.

Elaine folded Tan’s jacket carefully. He must be cold somewhere for she knew he only brought one. The temperature was still cold in the mountain even though the midday sun has risen.

Elaine got disappointed a little. She wasn’t able to hike to the summit of Mt. Pulag. She missed the breathtaking sunrise and the pride of the locals – the sea of clouds.

She is hesitant to go out. What if Richard was outside? Before she even got to decide, the tent door opened. Her heart raced when Tan peeped.

“If you’re ready, I’ll accompany you to the CR. I brought mineral water, you can wash your face using it. I’ll wait for you outside.”

Elaine opened her mouth but no words came out. She rushed to find her toothbrush, toothpaste and soap.

She found Tan outside the tent. He was standing there, indeed waiting for her. She followed Tan who walked on ahead. She saw Richard near Danielle’s tent. Her steps slowed down a bit. She got scared recalling last night’s encounter.

Before she almost stopped walking, she saw Tan coming back for her. He took her hand and held it tight.

She involuntarily followed Tan’s big steps. When they passed by Richard, she slightly lifted her gaze. She felt nervous. There were black bruises on the side of his mouth and face.