Chapter 35 Wretched
Tan sat in the chair across the doctor after they shook hands. Based on the doctor’s reaction when she saw him, he believed she knew who he was even before he introduced himself. That realization made him more nervous.
Tan wasn’t able to stop himself even though he wanted to give in to her request to leave her alone and stay away for a while. He still followed her. He was dying of worry, more so when he saw her still shaken up when she turned away from him a while back.
He tailed her car, he saw with his own eyes how she recklessly drove as if there was no tomorrow.
Tan cleared his throat when the Doctor sat on her swivel chair. He had so many questions in mind but he didn’t know where to begin. He had a feeling whatever he chooses, the answer would be painful nonetheless.
Aside from anxiety and PTSD, could Elaine be suffering from other disorders he may not know about? If not, after the attack, why would she go to a psychiatric hospital?
“I know why you’re here,” the doctor said. Tan wasn’t sure if she was trying to gauge herself of him.
“Did my wife suffer that much and I didn’t even notice?”
Sandra let out a sigh. She knew this was against the code of ethics but Elaine was like a daughter to her. Perhaps telling Tan the truth would help her move on and cope up.
“Elaine had a persistent depressive disorder, Mr De Marco. She was diagnosed three years ago.”
Tan flinched. He tried to clear his throat a couple of times but ended up closing his eyes instead.
===FLASHBACK====
September 7, 2017
Tan’s heart seemed to literally jump out when he heard the sound of a car approaching. Elaine didn’t come home for almost a week. When he returned from the medical mission in Mindanao, he didn’t catch his wife at home.
Her cell phone was turned off for five days. He had to call Drew’s cell phone just to check how she was doing. He called several times in a day, but not once, not even for a minute, did she speak to him.
He thought, his wife is sulking. He was gone for a week and he didn’t manage to get home early because of the surgeries in the hospital that came one after another. There was a road accident that killed and injured at least thirty people and the majority of them was brought to AMM Hospital.
He widened his smile when Elaine came through the living room. He approached her and was about to kiss her but she quickly turned away. He saw her eyes looked away.
“How’s the trip with Drew?” he asked.
No answer. He tried to put his arm around his wife but she stepped back and created space between them.
Tan scratched his head. He thought of what would be the best approach to make her heart soft.
“Are you still angry at me?” he asked in a sweet voice. “Sorry, babe. There were just too many patients and I can’t leave the hospital…”
He was stunned when Elaine gave her a sharp look. “Why go home then? I don’t need you here. You should just live in the hospital, you’re much more useful there.”
That left Tan open-mouthed. He didn’t expect to hear those words from Elaine. She had always been straightforward and plain-spoken but never had he heard her say anything foul against anybody. Especially to him.
Her stare was getting sharper. He tried to come up with something to say but Elaine has turned and left.
Tan followed her with his eyes, confused at her sudden outburst. Elaine didn’t even look back and went up the stairs. A minute later, he heard the master bedroom door slammed shut.
His wife was still mad. He knew he had to make it up to her for his shortcomings these past weeks. He was consistent, patient and diligent, anyway. He would do everything just to soften his wife’s heart.
He groaned when he felt his stomach rumbling.
“Sir, the table has been set. The last candle on the cake just died. Should I light up another?” the helper asks him in the living room.
That was the sixth candle. All the candles were used up waiting for Elaine to arrive. But compared to the months she patiently endured for him, it was nothing. Even if he lights up a hundred candles, it won't still be enough.
Inside their room, Elaine leaned against the huge door. She tightly balled her fists. Her chest was heaving in anger. Her teeth clenched. She wanted to shout, to scold, to punish, to hurt herself. It felt like she was imprisoned in a small and cramped cage and she couldn’t find the key to go free.
The thought angered her more. She turned to look at the bed. Then eyes full of hate and, clenching her teeth and her fists, she stepped towards the king-size bed.
With all the strength she got, he took out the newly changed comforter and linens and threw them at the carpeted floor. If only she was holding a knife or pair of scissors, she wanted to shred and cut them up to pieces.
Still unsatisfied, she turned to the two pillows, picked them up and threw them at the wall. Then she angrily toppled over the glass table that was in the middle of the room. She didn’t care even when she felt a piece of glass pierced her foot.
To hell with pain, she thought angrily. The shard of glass that punctured the sole of her foot was nothing compared to the pain she was suffering now.
She wanted to scream but no voice would come out of her. She wanted to force herself to cry but not even the tears denied to flow. If she could cry, the misery she felt might somehow lessen. Maybe it would diminish the pain, the anger, the fury, the guilt.
She wished to flee but there’s the feeling of being trapped in an isolated place and no one and nowhere would welcome her if she gets free.
Where should she go? Nowhere.
Elaine wanted to drain all her energy. She wanted to get tired, get numb, release the anger and resentment though she knew she can’t erase them whatever she does.
She took hold of the lampshade and threw it at the big built-in TV screen. The former fell to the floor, but the TV remained whole. That’s what Tan saw when he ran to their room.
Tan was stunned for a while, could not believe what she has done. When she was about to take their wedding frame, he hurriedly went near her and took it away from her
“Get away from me!” she shouted. She pushed him as hard as she can but Tan barely moved.
In one instant, he was able to sweep her up. She was fighting him to release her. She was punching, scratching. Saying expletives at him. She was so furious that Tan didn’t know where it was coming from or if it was all his fault.
Tan held her tight. He was confused and perplexed but he was more worried for his wife.
He could see it in her eyes. Beneath her actions, there lies hatred for something he might have done to her. His chest tightened. It hurts him to see Elaine that way.
“Let go of me, you bastard!”
Tan closed his eyes and breathe heavily.
“You’re bleeding, babe... Please. The shard of glass would go deeper if you won’t stop.”
ELAINE's chest was still heaving, but she was calmer when Tan released his hold on her. He sat her in bed and kneeled before her. There’s a lot of blood on the floor so he knows it was a big piece she stepped on. He checked her left foot.
He sighed. It felt like it was him who did it to her.
“I am sorry, Elaine... Does it hurt?”
She did not answer. Her eyes were looking at the other side of the room.
“Don’t move yet. I’ll get the medicine kit.” Tan stood up to get the medicine kit from the bathroom. He turned again when he saw her move from his peripheral vision. Tan's eyebrows creased when she raised her left foot to her lap then nonchalantly removed the glass stuck on it.
Tan gasped when blood gushed out slowly. He went right back.
“Elaine, what is wrong with you?”
When he was about to get to her to stop the bleeding, Elaine suddenly stood up. She threw the shard of glass to the floor and spoke in a monotone.
“Your concern is too late, Tan. I don’t need it anymore.”
She walked to the bathroom. She wasn’t even evading the shattered glasses on her way.
Elaine locked herself inside. She leaned on the bathroom door. Without removing her clothes, she turned on the shower and positioned herself underneath. Hot water flowed out from the shower but she didn’t care if her skin got burned.
Her sharp stare quickly went soft. With trembling lips and body, the tears- that she has been wanting to flow for days-started falling.
August 30, 2017
Forcingly but slowly Elaine opened her eyes. She was still very sleepy but she wanted to wake up already. She felt drunk, although she hasn’t been drinking for several weeks. The surroundings were blurred. She can’t make things out except for the white ceiling and the big monitor that hanged by the wall which she was certain was a tv.
Her throat went dry. She felt weak and her body was like dead weight. Disoriented, she moaned. Where was she? The last thing she remembered was, she went to visit Bettina in the hospital where she was confined.
Until…
Elaine panicked at the thought. She remembered what happened a while ago. When one of the abductors covered her mouth and nose, she blacked out.
Elaine felt fear creeping up her body. She was kidnapped. She remembered the guys who went down their car and forced her to ride with them. But why? She did not have enemies and Tan was a good man. Nobody would try to hurt them.
Was it kidnap for ransom? Tan has a rich family.
No.
Who were those guys? Was she drugged? She got scared all the more. Aside from being light-headed, she can’t move her body. Only her brain is working- panicking in the thought that there were bad guys around.
She got even more nervous when she saw a tall guy emerged from the left side of the room. She could not recognize him as her vision was still blurry.
His back was turned to her and he was talking to someone over the phone. Based on the sound of his voice, she could guess he was not much older than Tan.
But who was this man? What does he need from her?
“I got what I wanted, Silverio. I did not know you were hiding a beautiful daughter. Consider yourself paid from all your loans and if you need more money for the casino, let my men know.”
Elaine couldn’t believe her ears. Did she hear him correctly? Did this guy really mention his father’s name?
Casino. Aside from drugs, was her father addicted to gambling? She was aware of him being addicted to methamphetamine. She lived for many years with a pusher mother, She knew how a drug user looked and acted.
She tried talking to Silver about his vices but each attempt was evaded and he eventually gets hot-headed.
Elaine tried to hide those things from her mother. She didn’t want to further taint how Bettina saw Silver. But what did this guy mean? Did Silver sell her own daughter to pay for his vices? The thought brought panic and fear to her chest.
The call ended. The guy took the glass with alcohol from the small table. When he started walking towards her, the anxiety and fear totally kicked in Elaine's stomach.
When the man surveyed her, she trembled in fear. She prayed very hard for someone to come and rescue her but she knew no one would come.
Fight him, Elaine. Don’t ever let him touch you. But she can’t order her body to move.
The guy’s face was still unclear to her. What’s pellucid to her though, was that he’s wearing a white robe and was slowly taking it off while staring at her carnally.
