I want divorce

Akash POV

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Akash someone called me from behind. I turned to see there is standing my shanthi maa.

"Shanthi maa!" I whispered painfully.

Shanthi maa, my caretaker. She took leave for 3 months because she went to take care of her pregnant daughter. Now she finally returned. I missed her a lot but how am I going to face her. She don't know about my marriage with Dharani and my monstrous act towards Dharani.

Shanthi maa is like a mother to me. When I was 8 years old, my mom Sharadha died of cancer. I was devastated but Shanthi maa took care of me. Dad was always busy in his business. He was never there for me when I need him but shanthi maa always there for me. I grew up in her arms.

"What happened Akash?" maa asked me. I stood up, ran to her and hugged maa tightly and cried.

"Akash! Tell me son, what happened to you? Look at me, don't scare me like this, tell me son!"she asked worried.

I was going to tell her what monster act I did to an innocent soul but I was interrupted by Dharani's scream.

Maa and I reached my room to see Dharani trashing on the bed.

"Akash who is this girl? What happened to her?" maa asked me.

"Please leave me Dhruv! Someone help me please", Dharani shouted.

"Stop. Please, please leave me." She cried.

My lips gaped open hearing her words.

"Oh god Dharani is having a nightmare?" I cried in pain.

"Please I beg you. Stop it."she cried again. By now she was crying loud, wetting her pillow.

I stood in my place too shocked to move. My legs were glued at that very place. Her sudden nightmare has left me in daze. Maa went to her, hugged Dharani and trying to wake her up.

But Dharani started screaming more, my heart pounded tremendously.

Her nightmare is just like mine. But the difference is in my nightmares I beg my maa don't go and but here Dharani is begging to leave her.

Dharani started punching in air, moving her hand vigorously.

Shanthi maa can't handle Dharani, I have to stop her.

I went to her and called her name" Dharani please open your eyes".

"Stop it. Leave me." She cried again and this time more painfully. Tears were running down my cheeks. Because of me she is having nightmare.

I hugged and pulled her closer to me. I placed my hand on her cheek but my chest contracted painfully when her skin touched mine. I felt a spark when her skin touched mine.

Oh god, what's happening to me.

Tears pooled at my eye corner threatening to be released. A sharp pain crossed my heart making me clutch her tightly. Sweat was coating on my skin. Her every pain, every miseries, now her nightmares, her struggles started flashing in my head making it hard for me to stop her feel  pain.

Her cries and pleads were reminding me, how much devil I was towards her.

A painful roar released from her throat and more memories ran in front of my eyes. I clutched Dharani in my arm tightly. I shook her "Wake up damn it! Dharani!!" I shouted on top of my lungs.

Suddenly she went silent......

Oh my god, what happened to her?

She was unconscious. The view in front of me brought a huge pain my chest. I held her soft body in my arms.

"Dharani!!" I whispered in her ear to wake her up but she did not give any response. My heart beating fast. I gently shook her while calling out her name.

No. Nothing. She didn't move an inch.

Hurriedly, taking some water from the bedside table, I sprinkled a few droplets on her face. Slowly she opened her eyes.

"Dharani are you okay? Please say something. I'm sorry." Tears started to brim in her big doe eyes and her hand came in contact with my chest pushing me away. I held her palms together, brought them close to me. But she pushed herself back.

She was afraid of me.

"Dharani please, I won't hurt you. I'm sorry. please forgive me" I reached out to her but she moved farther.

Shit! What have I done?

"Akash first go from here. I think she is afraid of you" maa said to me firmly.

I went out of my room taking a glance of maa consoling Dharani and making her sleep.

I left and went to my study room.

What the hell did I do to her?

After 2 hours maa came to me.

"Explain me Akash who is she? Why is she so afraid of you?" Maa asked me sternly.

Then I said her everything happened between us including my monstrous act. Finally, I told to her yesterday's events also. I looked at maa, she is looking at me blank emotionless face.

"Maa say something please!" but one tight slap made me numb. I knew, I deserved that slap.

"How could you Akash? How could you do this to that innocent soul? Shame on you! No no, you are not my Akash! My son is an innocent boy. This is not my upbringing. I don't even know who are you. You are not my Akash, you are not my son!"maa said in her broken voice and crying heavily.

"Maa please forgive me! I am regretting it. Forgive me maa, please" I kneeled infront of her.

"Akash you want my forgiveness? Ok I will forgive you, but on one condition. First go and ask Sharadha, your birth mom, for forgiveness. If she forgives you, only then I will forgive you" Maa said sternly and left the room.

My birth mom Sharadha! How will I ask her forgiveness? How am I going to face her? Will she ever forgive me?" I thought.

First I have to go and see Dharani.

Dharani was sleeping soundly when I entered the room. I adjusted the quilt around her.

"I'm so sorry Dharani. I'm the worst husband. I shouldn't have behaved like that." I teared up again and a drop fell on back on her palm.

Dharani was very sick. It made me fell more worse. I can't even think that I have been such a monster to her when she actually deserved nothing. I didn't know why I was so insane. I almost behaved like a psychopath. I'm truly ashamed of myself.

I stayed there for another couple of hours until she woke up. My head was pressed against the mattress beside her. My eyes snapped up when I felt a moment on the bed. She was sitting on other side of the bed and got up to leave ignoring me. I pulled her wrist before she goes out.

"Where you going Dharani?" I asked her softly. But she ignored my question and struggled my grip.

"Why didn't you tell me about your uncle torture?" I asked her.

"Because I don't want any pity from you." She said and I shut my eyes close in pain.

"Dharani, I'm sorry." She cut me off.

"You didn't trust me, you never did. I told you how that Dhruv tried to touch me inappropriately and misbehave with me. I told you everything but you still did not trust me" She shouted.

"I am sorry Dharani, please forgive me" I said in a pleading tone.

"No! You don't deserve my forgiveness" she said.

"I know, I don't deserve any forgiveness from you. All I can say is that I’m sorry for the heartache I have caused you and I can’t go back and change my actions. If I could, I would do so immediately. I’m deeply sorry for the pain I have caused you. I'm sorry for everything, I'm not asking for you to forget everything but I am asking for you to at least give me a chance again. If you can tell me what I have too do I'll do it. I'll do anything for you, I just want to keep you happy. That's all I wanna say. I'll bring smile on your face", I told her desperately.

I just needed one chance from her. I hurt her so bad. But still I won't stop until she accepts me and my apology. I promise, if she forgives me and gives me a second chance, I will never make her cry.

"You hurt me alot ,you abused me, you tortured me and even worse, you sent Dhruv to rape me!" She yelled, shocking me.

"What? No Dharani, what are you saying? I did not send him. Why will I do that? I agree I tortured you, abused you but I didn't send him to rape you." I said and I don't know why is she talking like this.

"Please believe me" I begged her.

"I don't believe you Akash. You are so heartless and I'm never ever going to forgive you, understand? You're a monster and I hate you" she shouted at me.

Guilt was all I felt when I saw nothing but hatred in her doe eyes. I felt like I'm dying. I want to die. Even death is less.

And her next word just gave me a heart attack.

"I want divorce from you. I don't want to stay here. I am leaving right now" she said and ran down the stairs leaving my home. Tears were streaming down her face.

'No, she can't leave me. How can she leave? She can't leave!' I angrily stormed towards before she leaves the house.

I pulled Dharani's hands, turned her around and picked her in bridal style in my arms and walked towards my room, sorry OUR room.

"Akash! What are you doing? Put me down" she yelled.

I took long strides going towards our room.

"Put me down. Let me go" she yelled at me using her tiny fist but her efforts were useless. I opened the our room door of our room and threw her on bed. I pinned her body on our bed. I pushed away her loose hairs away from her face and she glared at me.

"Leave me you monster! How dare you you touch me? Leave me", she struggled in my grip.

"Shut up! Just shut up! Listen carefully, I am not going to divorce you. You are stuck with me forever, understood?" I said dangerously close to her lips.

She looked at me fearfully and her eyes welled up in tears.

Shit what have I done?

Why do I always make her cry?

Why can't I control my anger?

I immediately left her and closed the room door. Taking my car keys, I left the house but maa stopped me before I leave.

"Akash, where are you going at this time?" maa asked me.

"I want to see an important person" I said to her.

"Who?" Shanthi maa asked.

"MY MOM" I said to here she stilled in her place.

"Maa please take care of Dharani. I will come soon ,bye" I told her and left from there.

After 2 hours of journey, I reached my mom's cemetery.

When I arrived to my mom cemetery I felt goosebumps all over my body. Shivers ran down my spine because I never visited my maa cemetery before. I was very angry at her for leaving me alone in this world, when I needed her the most. So I never came here before but now I want her by my side, I want her support, I want her forgiveness. Only she can control my anger.

She is my peace. She is my angel. I didn't even know where my mom cemetery was all these days. I know I am very bad son.

I just kept walking straight ahead.

After ten minutes, finally stopped in front of a huge tombstone.

The tombstone was not round at the top but flat, like a rectangle.

My Mom!!

I finally found her tears rolling down my face.

'Sharadha'

1962-1995

"Beloved mother and wife"

I had knelt in front of my mother's grave and asked her.

"Would you like to talk to me for some time mom?" I asked.

I didn't know exactly what I was looking for, some kind of a sign or something, maybe I wasn't really expecting anything, but a cool breeze started and maybe it was just the wind or my mind was playing tricks on me. But I distinctly heard 'yes' being whispered.

"MOM!! Are you listening to me?"

And once again breeze blew. I cried and hugged my mom's cemetery.

"Please, please forgive me mom. I am very very bad son, forgive me mom" I cried and closed my eyes. Darkness consumed me completely.

I felt a pure white light coming from a distance. I can feel it in real.

Oh god! what happening to me?

All I can do is to watch the smoke surrounding me and that white pure light fixed at the distance whose shine was enough for me to attract every inch of me. I tried opening my eyes but I failed.

Suddenly I felt someone touched my hair softly. "Relax son!" I heard a voice and felt my body relaxed.

I heard a voice coming from somewhere and it didn't took any another second for me to realize that it was none other then my mom. I tried to open my eyes but I couldn't.

"Mom where are you? Are you here?", I asked mom.

My mom spoke "Yes! How are you son? I am so guilty to leave you alone in the world. I am so sorry son, please forgive me" my mom cried. I couldn't bear it.

"Mom please, don't cry. I can't see you crying. It hurts me mom, please" I said.

"You are my angel mom. Please don't cry. Angels don't cry mom" I cried too.

"Shh, don't cry son. You already cried a lot without me. But now you have your Angel. I already sent an angel for you, but you made her cry and broke her heart. I am so disappointed with you", my mom said to me.

"Sorry mom, I didn't know her value then but now I understood it very well. Please forgive me mom!" I cried.

"Shhh son, don't cry. I forgive you because everyone makes mistakes in their life but they have to regret it some time. You regret your mistake and that's why I forgive you son", my mom said.

Mom said "See Akash, she has been a good wife to you. Now you should be a good husband to her. Go to her, she needs you. She is all alone. There is no one for her. Go to her, she needs you. Don't let her go. You wouldn't be happy without her. She's your angel. She is perfect and you'd be a fool to let her go" my mom said.

"I don't want her to leave me mom" I cried.

"Dharani is my wife. She wasn't the type of gold digger women. She is your type mom. She always takes care of me like you mom. Just like you greeted us every time we came home, made lunch for the family, took care of the house. She is exactly same like you mom but I never noticed it" I told her remembering all.

"Now you understand her value? I am very happy son" my mom said.

"Now I will rest in peace. You regretted your action, that's all I want. Now you have to go to your angel. She's waiting for you. She has already suffered a lot. Don't ever hurt her. If you hurt her next time, I will never ever forgive you. Take care of your dad also. Live happily my son!" mom said to me.

"No mom I will never ever hurt Dharani. I will cherish her mom and I will take care of dad also. I will be a good son mom but please come to me. Don't leave me mom, I want you mom in my life" I cried more.

"I have to go son and you have to go and live your life happily with your angel" my mom voice little bit faded.

"Please don't send me away from you. I don't want to go. Please come to me mom" I shouted and waited for the reply.

"I have to go" mom said reluctantly.

"You need to go. Your angel is waiting for you."

"Your angel needs you just the same way as you need her. Go back and this time live your life." As she completed her words, I felt my body weighing less heavy.

I opened my eyes and bright sunlight came to my view. I checked time on my watch, its early morning 6:30.

I promised my mom that I keep make Dharani happy. Raising my head, I caressed the ground, a lone tear escaping my eyes.

"I love you Mom" I whispered.

Not wasting any time, I went straight to my home.

"I am coming home Angel! Wait for me. We will live happily together" I thought and drove back to home.

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How is it ?