Chapter 20: A New Disciple
Sometimes, disaster strikes at the most unexpected times.
Maybe your luck was just bad that day, or maybe it’s because you’re associated with a constellation literally called Gorilla of Fates and Twisted Futures.
Whatever the case, whenever trouble arises, a man’s answer should always remain the same: to lock the fuck in.
Trying to fool two different people… err, one gorilla and one person at once is impossible if they both see you in vastly different lights. In this case, one thinks I’m a constellation, while the other thinks I’m a massive virgin loser.
Occam’s razor tells me that the only way to get out of this is to deal with one problem before moving to the other. That means I need to set my priorities.
Do I fool the gorilla first, or my long-time online friend, Orio? I think it’s pretty obvious which of the two poses a bigger threat to me. Team gorilla, it is.
I stand up from my chair and spread my arms out wide, like I was welcoming family back from a long trip.
“Welcome, Gorilla, sir! I suppose you are here to continue where we left off yesterday?”
“Oog.”
The Constellation, Gorilla of Fates and Twisted Futures, says that you are correct. While it has been decided that you will be mentoring GREENSPROUT soon, there is also the matter of future arrangements that will be made. The Ringed Star Mother said many positive things about you last night in the #new-constellations-only-chat, so many newborn constellations wish to learn under you, he adds.
Well, isn’t that just great?...
As much as I may appreciate Esphera’s high praise of me, she really isn’t doing me any favors by giving me rave reviews. Agh.
I guess that means I’ll have a lot of work to do. I should figure out a way to lighten the load once I get more accustomed to teaching constellations how to play god.
“... Vell, what’s going on? Are you talking to that… furry? No, that IS a furry, right?”
Hm?
She doesn’t see the screen, does she? Could it be because the gorilla’s talking to me directly?
This might be a good thing. I ought to keep the two from conversing with one another.
I lean over to Ori’s side and whisper into her ear.
“I’ll explain later, Ori. For now, could you tone down your potty mouth? I don’t think you’ll want to make a bad impression on this guy, and I need to discuss some important things with this guy.”
“... Alright. And, uh… Let me sit behind you. I don’t want anywhere near him.”
“Sure.”
Scrrrt. Puff.
Ori moved with a sense of urgency, quickly taking the seat behind me. I took the opportunity to gesture for the gorilla to take his seat at… oh, right.
I got up and dumped my laundry onto the ground, forming a small pile, and gestured for the gorilla constellation to take a seat.
“Sorry. I still do not have a chair that can accommodate your size, Gorilla, sir.”
“Oog.”
The gorilla gave me a thumbs-up and rested his hairy rear on the pile.
Great.
It’s a good thing that Ori’s creeped out by him. This’ll mean a lower chance of the two interacting with one another. I should make sure to step in between them if the gorilla starts feeling a bit too social today.
“Oog?”
The Constellation, Gorilla of Fates and Twisted Futures, asks who this human woman is and wonders what she is doing here.
Human woman?
He didn’t mistake Ori for a fellow constellation coming to visit? That's strange. Then why did he–
“Pssst. Vell. Why is this guy just making monkey noises? Is he really just committed to the bit?” (Whisper)
“Not now, Ori. I’ll explain later.” (Whisper)
“Tch.”
Ori clicked her tongue in annoyance.
God, who knew she’d act the same way she does online… No, well, at least dealing with her is better than talking to the average snake woman. I don’t have to play mind-reading games with her, which is a relief.
Anyway… I ought to give him an answer.
“As I’m sure you’ve heard from the Ringed Star Mother, I have a habit of emulating the human experience. It helps me better understand human life and how to interact with them. She is but one of the mortals I have befriended during my time emulating human life. She came to visit me out of concern for my recent absence.”
“Are you fucking LARPing right now?” (Whisper)
“Shh!”
“Oog.”
The Constellation, Gorilla of Fates and Twisted Futures, understands. He then asks if it is fine to discuss matters between constellations before this woman.
Honestly, I’d rather get her to leave this instant, but doing that would cause all sorts of complications…
I can’t just let her go and talk to the others about what’s happening here without feeding her a different story. If the others start asking about the gorilla that came to visit me, on top of the fact that my entire condo unit went missing, that’ll be too many things I’ll need to juggle at once. Heck, I don’t even know if I can convince her to leave.
At the same time, it would be trouble to keep her around, as she might realize what’s actually going on. That I’m now in charge of teaching new constellations.
Hm… Ah.
Maybe keeping her around won’t be so bad after all? Hehe.
“... Vell, why are you grinning like that?” (Whisper)
“No reason…” (Whisper)
A teacher needs their teacher’s assistant, don’t they?
“Yes, Gorilla, sir. It’ll be fine. She’s someone worthy of a constellation’s trust.”
“Oog.”
“What?”
The Constellation, Gorilla of Fates and Twisted Futures, is glad to hear that. He also says that he has arranged for a meeting between you and GREENSPROUT, and that he wishes to take this opportunity to discuss the topic of your future mentorships with other new constellations. However, he adds that he is uncertain about using your humble abode as the designated meeting place due to its less-than-desirable size.
Can you please not diss my condo? Buying this place bled my wallet dry, you know?
Still, though. Would it be appropriate to take constellations around the city?...
No, who am I kidding? This gorilla uses a fucking smartphone and hosts the damn Chaos server. It’d look weird lugging the guy around in public, but he probably won’t cause any trouble on his own.
GREENSPROUT, however, I’m not too certain, but Esphera didn’t turn out bad, so I have high hopes for this one.
“Have you visited a cafe before, sir Gorilla? If you do not mind public spaces, I know a place that serves food that satisfies even a constellation’s taste… Erm. I am not too sure if it would suit a gorilla, however.”
“Oog.”
The Constellation, Gorilla of Fates and Twisted Futures, says that it will be his first time visiting a cafe. He also adds that he does not mind if the food is not to his taste. He claims that he will return with GREENSPROUT in a moment. He wishes for you to guide them, as he is not too familiar with this city.
“Sure. Is it fine if I take the human woman with us?”
“What? We’re going to a cafe?”
“Oog.”
The Constellation, Gorilla of Fates and Twisted Futures, says that it is fine. He trusts in your judgment of the human woman’s character.
The gorilla constellation nodded his head before turning to leave.
Similar to last time, he walked right through the door with his hulking frame like the world’s collision mechanics were bugging out. Unlike last time, however, there was another person around to witness this strange anomaly.
Although Ori still had her mask over her mouth, it was pretty easy to tell that her mouth was hanging wide open as her eyes widened, deeply surprised at the sight of a grown gorilla disappearing into the large plank of wood that was my door.
“... D-Did that fucking furry just walk right through the door like a ghost?...”
“... It’s a long story.”
“You better start explaining shit right now, Vell!”
“Right.”
Where do I even start?
Seeing as I plan to drag Ori into this mess, I ought to tell her everything I can.
Deep in the center of a forest, a tree stood taller than most atop a large mound of green earth. It towered over the other trees, leaving some to weaken from a lack of sunlight due to being unable to escape its shade.
The large tree, which had grown sentient over the years due to magical influence (an indirect product of Esphera’s doing), was apologetic for the trouble it caused and shared its nutrients with the other trees affected by its presence.
The other trees, which Yvell would likely have called ‘Tree Ents’, had he seen them, bore ounces of intelligence and deeply appreciated this gesture. They failed to understand that the larger tree had been the cause of their weakening, and only saw the larger tree as a most generous being.
These ents, who had faced near death and returned invigorated, began to ponder the origins of life. They saw the beasts of the forests that gave birth to their offspring in burrows, began to understand slivers of the concept of parentage, and wondered about their own origins.
Their questionably coherent thoughts eventually led them back to the large tree at the center of the forest, which they thought cared for them like a mother beast would her young.
At the time, this could not yet be called faith. But as time passed, the ents gradually grew more united in their belief that they all originated from the largest tree in the forest. They knew trees could not give birth (at least, not in the conventional ways that they observed in beasts), so they believed that the largest tree created them instead.
How? They didn’t think that far. Or rather, they couldn’t think that far. They were just dumb trees after all. But this was where the faith in the large tree began, and years had passed since.
“Oog.”
A gorilla suddenly appeared in a spot where there was only grass swaying to the wind.
[Sir Gorilla. You have arrived.]
A voice resonated in Ramube’s head.
Ramube looked up to the sky–no, to the large tree that covered the sky with its leaves. Standing about as tall as a small skyscraper was the forest’s subject of worship–the Green Earth Mother, or so she was called by her faithful ents, named as such due to the green earth mound she had sprouted from.
The gorilla constellation walked up to the small hill where the Green Earth Mother stood. Climbing would have been an easy task for Ramube; however, as the earth beneath her served as an extension of her body through roots buried deep within, he figured it would be rude to do so. Instead, he settled for standing at the base of the hill.
“Oog.”
The Constellation, Gorilla of Fates and Twisted Futures, says that the Constellation, Utopic World Builder, has agreed to meet with you. He questions whether you are prepared to embark on another world.
[That… would prove difficult for the moment, sir Gorilla. As you can see, my form is that of a tree–unable to move from where I had grown. Had I been smaller and had legs of my own, surely I would manage, however…]
“Oog.”
Ramube nodded his head in agreement, understanding the difficulty of the situation.
While perhaps considered rude, he considered taking Utopic World Builder here right away, but that would be problematic. The ents of the forest might react with hostility towards Utopic World Builder, who strove to emulate the human form and experience and thus was alien to them, which would make for a bad first impression on the god he had requested a favor from.
The only reason the ents treated him with indifference was that he bore the form of a beast himself, allowing him to enter the forest without trouble from the ents, who were protective of their deity. The ents were accustomed to the presence of beasts who often cared little for the trees, save for the smaller ones and a few large beasts. Yet even those did little to harm the trees.
“Oog.”
[Sir Gorilla, whatever shall we do?]
“Oog?... Oog!”
It was then that Ramube recalled a method that his junior, the Ringed Star Mother, had mentioned using to take on her form, mixed with another strategy proposed by the Utopic World Builder and applied by the junior constellation in their most recent endeavors, which allowed for the creation of efreets.
The problem here was simple. The Green Earth Mother needed legs and a smaller form. But for that to occur, her followers must perceive their deity as capable of taking on such a form. The answer from there is even simpler, although it would require some effort on the Green Earth Mother’s part. So, he got to work, explaining the plan to his junior.
“Oog, oog.”
[Um. I see. Could you send me the link to the video?]
“Oog.”
Ramube pulled out his phone and quickly looked up the video in question. While this was another world, Ramube had grown accustomed to dimensional travel thanks to his efforts in inviting constellations from different dimensions to his server. This ability allowed him to transcend space and time and connect his phone to the WiFi network of a WcDonnie’s on Earth.
While he could have just used his mobile data instead, he was told by a user on a forum once that stealing WiFi from a WcDonnie’s was the morally right thing to do.
Ding.
[Did you send the video?]
“Oog.”
Ramube nodded.
Small branches began to emerge from the surface of the large tree as these branches pulled an Orange-brand smartphone out of a hole in the trunk. The tips of the branches used leaves to unlock the phone and open the Chaos app. The Green Earth Mother then opened the link, which led to a video of a gorilla opening a treasure chest from a video game called Gigagronk.
Lights erupted from the chest, and fanfare played as an item emerged from the opened treasure chest.
[Interesting. I do not think I can replicate many of these… what do you call this? ‘Special effects’? However, I can supplement what is missing with my own. But I do not see how this will provide me with a new form.]
“Oog.”
Ramube then sent his junior an image.
It was an illustration from an artist that Utopic World Builder had promoted to him yesterday–the artist who drew really amazing boobs. This artwork was that of a knife-eared, long-haired, big-breasted, pale-skinned beauty in a druidic-themed dress. Naturally, it was the dress that drew most of the Green Earth Mother’s attention. If this constellation had eyes, perhaps they would be wide open right now.
[It is beautiful… I would love to mimic this form. I will quickly act as you have suggested.]
That day, the ents of the forest were treated to a scene like a nature-themed gacha draw animation, where the wind, the leaves, and the earth worked together to spawn a creature from the trunk of the largest tree at the heart of the forest. Rather than the Green Earth Mother herself, it was nothing more than a wooden doll pigmented by the Green Earth Mother—but would the foolish ents, barely capable of thought and waving their branches in mindless cheer, ever realize that?
The answer was a clear no.
And so the Green Earth Mother obtained a new bodily form.
“Wow… Truly, this form is wonderful! Sir Gorilla, is this what the people from your world call a ‘human form’?”
“Oog.”
“You are not sure? Ah, the ears are different, you say?”
“Oog.”
“Well, perhaps the details do not matter. I now possess an appropriate form for the meeting. Let us make haste and meet Sir Utopic World Builder.”
“Oog.”
Ramube gave the Green Earth Mother a thumbs-up.
