Chapter 3: Prepare to Meet Your Maker!
EMULATION~
To help Esphera better understand what utopia she wants, I plan to have her emulate humans. For that very purpose, I had her turn off her many godly privileges—the power in her voice, the rings, many other godly abilities she apparently possessed, and even her invulnerability as a constellation.
“Lord Yvell… I think I scratched my knee…”
“Spit on it.”
“W-What?”
“I didn’t bring any alcohol in my backpack, so we’ve gotta make do with what we have. It’s not like a little infection will kill you, will it?”
Dropping her down to the level of a mortal wasn’t going to be enough, however. So the next course of action was to have her experience life alongside her faithful, living the hunter-gatherer lifestyle in that primitive community below the cliff. Naturally, that meant leaving my condo and meeting her faithful downstairs.
Scaling the cliff wasn’t an option for my NEET-tier physical stats and a goddess who cries at a scratch. So instead, we took the roundabout route, heading down the forested decline. It wasn’t exactly easy, though.
“L-Lord Yvell! I think I stepped on something slimy!”
“Watch your step. Now that your divine senses are off, you’ll need to rely on your five basic senses a lot more.”
Ugh. Is that shit? Did she step on dragon-cow shit or something? Why is it rainbow-colored? Gross.
“Wash your feet at the next river we find. I think I remember seeing one from up high at the condo. We should reach it soon, as we go around the cliff. I’ll give you my shoes after.”
Sure enough, after a few minutes of trudging through the forest, stepping in mud, and pushing through thickets, there it was—a clear, clean river, devoid of pollution.
Wow. So rivers really do get pretty like this when people aren’t tossing their Galaxybucks cups in the water. It’s beautiful.
“Let’s take a break here for a few.”
“Understood… Ha…”
Tired, Esphera quickly rested her rear on a small boulder. I, on the other hand, set down my pack and pulled off a familiar item hanging from the side of my backpack.
It was a crutch. Once a pair with the one that Esphera had deleted from existence.
Since traveling around Esphera’s wild world would mean possibly encountering a strange beast or two, I had come prepared with a weapon. I modified the crutch by removing the rubber tip at the end and replacing it with a knife I had forced into the tube by the handle, turning it into a makeshift spear. I also tore up some of my unused clothes and wrapped them around the handles to make it easier to grip.
Crude, makeshift spear in hand, I suddenly felt powerful and at ease.
Ah.
I can feel the caveman in me beating his chest in pride.
I held the spear in reverse, with the tip to the sky, and rested my ass on my pack, using it as a chair. After marveling at my spear for a moment, my gaze floated back to Esphera, who seemed quite exhausted.
Her once-clean robe was now a mess, covered with mud, grass, and the occasional insect crawling about its edges.
“How’re you faring, fledgling?”
“I… I can manage…”
Just as I had told her to earlier, she began washing the shit off her feet and sandals. I took off my shoes and tossed the pair to her. I used to run around barefoot in the forest as a kid, so doing the same now wasn’t an alien concept to me. She quickly bowed her head in gratitude.
“I… thank you for your grace, honorable one…”
“You don’t need to thank me for every little thing. We’ll need to get moving again soon if we want to reach that village before sundown, so save as much energy as you can.”
I pulled a water bottle out from my pack and tossed it over to her. She caught it, almost fumbling. She was about to bow her head in gratitude again, but stopped herself upon recalling my words and began silently chugging down its contents.
Oi, be careful there. You’re going to cho—Oh. There it is. Now she’s coughing up a storm.
I’m starting to get the feeling this constellation sensei shtick is going to be rough.
Sigh~
Now that I’m touching grass, I feel like I’ve got a lot more room to breathe… and think.
Utopia… What the hell even is a utopia? When she brought up Ysdrafell, that seemed to make sense as a utopia, but when she pulled out those other worlds… No, how could you call those utopias?
A failed world that exploded after I accidentally triggered an apocalypse event. While I managed to retain scraps of civilization after the fact, that was still ultimately a failure.
Machines were spreading their reach to every corner of the universe. Though they were friendly machines, a universe-spanning Soranet is kind of freaky, no?
And fucking Gun-ham. That was a really fun parody world to build. But the inhabitants of that world were always locked in conflict for my entertainment as I pitted psychics piloting robots against one another. Where the hell is the utopia there?
Just… what the hell really is a utopia, and why does she want to make her world one so badly?
Sigh.
What a mess I’ve landed myself in.
“Um… Lord Yvell?...”
“What is it, Esphera?”
“Could I not just send us to the village with my divi—”
“No.”
“Uuuu…”
“This constellation sensei isn’t going to ease up on you, Esphera. Learning through experience is the best way to learn. And this journey will be sure to teach you plenty.”
“I do not even know what a ‘sense-eyy’ is…”
“Sensei.”
“Senshay?”
“Sensei.”
“Send-say?”
“... You’ll figure it out.”
Swish.
Hm?
Suddenly, a figure emerged from a bush some distance away. My fight-or-flight instincts kicking in again, I pulled out my crutch-spear and took on a battle stance. Esphera, on the other hand, panicked and quickly hid behind the boulder she was sitting on.
Then, as the figure approached closer, its identity became clear—a primitive man wearing animal fur for clothing. Although I called him primitive, upon closer inspection, he looks like some everyday office worker dude cosplaying a caveman. Esphera must’ve just copied the human forms she saw in my saves as they were, without considering the evolutionary aspects…
Human form…
Form?
Esphera.
Oh.
Oh no.
Don’t constellations often appear in forms familiar to their faithful? If that’s the case…
ESPHERAAAAAAA!
In one swift motion, I ripped open my backpack and emptied its contents onto the grass—packets of instant noodles to eat raw, more water bottles, a flashlight, a lighter, and a manga book I brought along to alleviate my boredom on the trip. They all scattered on the ground. Then, quickly, I turned my body and dashed towards Esphera with the now-empty backpack in hand.
“EMULATIONNNN!”
“Lord Yvell, what is— MHM!?!?”
I shoved the backpack down over her head like I was going for a slam dunk. Her legs kicked out in surprise, throwing her on her rear.
“MHM?! MHM, MHM!!”
Her hands shot up in a blind panic, palms slapping around the outside of the backpack as she tried to claw it off. I pinned her forearms before she could expose herself and leaned in close, whispering sharply.
Keep the bag on your head! One of your followers is here! They might recognize you if they see you!
“Mhm?!? Mhm!”
She nodded her head in response. Or at least, I think she did.
If my theory is right, keeping her identity a secret will be a must for Esphera for a long time. As a newborn constellation, her image as a deity is still unstable. Unlike other constellations that have long cemented their legacies in legends and myths, the essence of Esphera’s divinity is about as solid as a slime.
If her faithful see her floundering in the wilds, covered in dirt, shit, and bugs, she might just lose that reliable motherly image they have of her and gain an entirely different picture of her. Worse yet, their faith in her might fade as they grow disillusioned with her.
She seemed to come to the same realization, quickly recomposing herself.
Grabbing her by the hand, I helped pull her back up. Once she was back on her feet, she dusted off some of the dirt that stuck to her bottom.
Footsteps drew closer from afar. My sudden shouting must’ve alerted him to us.
Swish. Swish.
He’s here.
It’s the man I spotted earlier. I hope he’s not hostile… No, if he is, I need to give him a show of intimidation.
YES!
It’s time to make an impression on this ignorant primitive! Hmph!
I struck an iconic pose and glared at the approaching man with a fierce smile.
“... Oh? You’re approaching me? Instead of cowering in fear before this powerful constellation with dominion over a thousand worlds, you’re approaching me? Even though you’re just a mere mortal?”
“Mhm?”
No, not you, Esphera.
The primitive stood before Esphera and me, looking a bit stunned. He looked a head shorter than me, which I suppose would be natural for a primitive, though his regular-guy look is really throwing me off…
In his hand was a long branch the length of his arm. It wasn’t even sharpened well. It looked to be of really crude make.
With my crutch-spear, if he has any funny ideas, I can… Oh, wait, I left it over there. Where he’s… standing.
Now he’s poking it with his stick…
Well…
Fuck.
I felt my blood go cold all at once. Why am I such a dumbass all the time? God… No, there’s a goddess right beside me. Should I pray to her to save me?
No, if she figures out I’m not actually a constellation, won’t that be a scarier way to go? She might make an entire purgatory in this world just for me, to torture my soul in the afterlife…
I’m fucked either way, aren’t I?
FUCK!
“You. What, you? Strange pelt, wear?”
“What pelt, you corporate NPC?! You're throwing shade at my fit when you’re cosplaying a Dr. Bones character!”
Hold on.
“Wait, you can speak English?”
“English, what?”
The primitive man tilted his head, clearly confused by my question. What, does English not exist in this world? It’s the internal language, you know.
No, who am I kidding? Of course, it doesn’t. There aren’t any Burger Queens here or Doormarts here, so how could there be?
Is this some kind of language cheat, then? A blessing from a godd… no, why would Esphera grant a language cheat to someone she thinks is a fellow constellation? That doesn’t make sense. Then, why…
Nudge. Nudge.
Hm?
“What is it, Es— I mean, yes?”
“Mhm mhm. Mhm.”
“No, I don’t understand you. You still have the bag over your head.”
“Mhm?”
“... Uh, give us a second, good sir. I wish to speak to my friend over here privately for just a moment.”
“Ooh? Ok. Wait. Me.”
“Thank you…”
How kind.
I pulled Esphera behind a nearby tree, far enough that he wouldn’t hear us whisper. She stumbled a little on the way, but since I was guiding her by the hand, she didn’t fall on her face. Then, I leaned in close to whisper.
“Esphera, I permit you to use your divine powers. Enough to get a better bearing of your surroundings and… to communicate to me in silence. You can use telepathy, can’t you?”
Please tell me you can.
“Mhm!” She mumbled, giving me a thumbs-up.
[Can you hear my voice, Lord Yvell?]
Fuck, this is creepy. I can feel her voice worm its way into my mind. Like tentacles invading my skull and caressing my brain. Ugh! This feels disgusting.
How do I respond to her? Do I just ‘will’ my thoughts into sending themselves to Esphera? Hm.
[Testing. Testing. I hear you, Esphera. If you hear me, please give me another thumbs-up.]
Fwip.
Her thumb shot up.
Alright. That’s a yes.
[What were you trying to tell me earlier, Esphera?]
[Oh, right! It is about my followers… You were wondering why they could speak English, the language of your worlds, correct?]
[That’s right.]
[I… had a hand in that too, you see. I found it a bit too pitiful that my followers still lacked an effective means of communication, so… I granted them the knowledge of language—specifically, the language spoken by your followers…]
[A-Alright. I’m following so far.]
[However, the minds of my faithful are still developing, you see. Their speech is still crude—they once boasted beastly forms, after all. Had I been a more competent constellation, their adaptation might have been quicker, but I am still lacking… I apologize if copying your treasured tongue offends you!]
No, I didn’t invent the language, so why are you apologizing to me? It’s not like constellations can sue each other for stuff like that, right?...
I’m getting sidetracked. Gotta focus.
It’s time for… EMULATION!
Constellation Mode… ON!
[There is no need to apologize, Esphera.]
I flashed her a gentle, forgiving smile, which seemed to cause her to flinch.
[Now that we have cleared up that mystery, let us return to your follower. We must not waste any more of his time. He must be a busy man.]
[O-Oh, yes! That would be wise.]
Now that that business is done, it’s time to make our debut in this wild world. As with every interaction between people, the first impression is always important. So, if we want to integrate into tribal society, we ought to make ourselves as appealing as possible.
So, cavemen.
Prepare to meet your maker!
