Chapter 4: Egg and Roast Beef
“I thank you for your patience.”
“Yes. Talking, done?”
“Indeed. I believe we have yet to introduce ourselves, have we not?”
The caveman nodded. His blank gaze reflected that there was clearly not much happening behind those brows. Despite looking like a homeless IRS worker, it was clear that he was, in fact, a primitive.
I shall be sure to impress this ignorant ape and earn us a ticket into the village!
Smirk.
[Ready yourself, Esphera. This looks to be a fine opportunity to flesh out your mythology.]
“Mhm?”
[My mythology? Wait just a moment, Lord Yvell. What do you—]
I am speed.
With swift, graceful movements, I snatched the lighter and flashlight off the ground and flicked the flashlight on. I then tossed the flashlight into the air, causing it to spin a couple of times before it was caught between the branches up high with its head pointed downward, creating the perfect spotlight as I was bathed in holy light.
Stage, check!
I twisted my body into a magnificent spin and ignited the lighter in my hand. Tucking it between my pinky and ring finger, I finally struck a pose, with my hand thrust forward, the lighter hidden from view. Then, a small flame blazed from my palm.
POWER!
The primitive man gasped and took a step back, awed by the sight of fire emerging from my hand. Growing reverence was apparent in his eyes.
“I… am an apostle of Esphera, the Ringed Star Mother.”
“Oooh!... Apostle, what?”
[Lord Yvell?!?]
With the power of sleight of hand, I sneakily pushed the lighter into my pocket before drawing a gentle smile across my face.
“An apostle, you see, is something like a messenger who delivers the goddess’s intentions. I carry with me the will of the Ringed Star Mother. And it is by her will that I meet with you today.”
“Star Mother! Ball Woman!”
“Ba— ahem. Yes. Your most revered creator. She has sent me here to provide guidance.”
“Guidance?...”
The primitive man then began zoning out, trying to absorb everything I had said into his simple mind.
I feel a little guilty, but… Well, it’s partially true, isn’t it? I’m here to provide guidance, sure. But mostly to Esphera. These office apes will just be part of the process. So it’s not a complete lie.
I nod my head, reassuring myself to ease my near non-existent conscience.
Nudge. Nudge. Nudge. Nudge. Nudge.
[Esphera, could you stop nudging me with your elbow?]
[But Lord Yvell, I must know what you are attempting to do! To introduce yourself as my apostle, of all things… Why had you done this?]
[Legacy, Esphera. To build you a legend. While it is true that we came down from the condo to have you emulate the human experience by way of direct participation and integrating into their society, we must not pass up the chance to build up your legacy.]
If my theory is correct, the power of a constellation is directly tied to the faith of their believers. As such, to grow as a constellation and become more effective at governing their divine domain, they must build a legacy that will be immortalized. This should also help reinforce the very essence of her divinity, anchoring her nature as a goddess.
Theatrics like this would be a lot more effective in civilizations that have already discovered writing, but all creation myths need to start somewhere. Spreading faith through word of mouth is where religions always begin.
[Always keep an eye out for opportunities, Esphera. Legacies are not built on effort alone. In fact, more often than not, chance and coincidence are what spark miracles. And miracles inspire deep faith.]
[I—I see…]
[Just follow my lead. I will build you a wonderful legacy.]
[Then, I will do as you say, Lord Yvell!]
Good. Now I’ve got myself a partner in crime.
“As for my partner behind me, she is…”
Stealthily, I kicked up a small pebble with the back of my foot and caught it with a hand I had kept behind my back. Then, I discreetly flicked the pebble up with the snap of my fingers. The pebble shot high into the air before hitting the flashlight.
The flashlight, which was still stuck in the branches above, slightly tilted backward upon being struck, shining light down on a bag-covered head.
It was time to give the spotlight to my student—the constellation-in-training. I stepped aside and let Esphera take the stage.
Then, as if mimicking my previous actions, she spun in place and struck a pose.
“Mhm, mhm, mhm! Mhm, mhm!”
“...”
“...”
“... What, speaking?”
[Pssst. Esphera. You still have the bag over your head. Use telepathy to communicate your introduction.]
[Oh! I forgot! How embarrassing…]
Alright, take two.
Pretending as if the last ten seconds hadn’t happened, she spun in place again and struck the same pose. No… You really didn’t need to redo that part.
[[I am… I am…]]
“You, what?”
Go on. You can do it.
[[I am… A holy spirit! Sent to accompany the apostle!]]
She spun in place again and made a different pose. You know what? I’ll give this one a pass since she struck a really cool pose.
“Spirit, what?”
[[Ah! Um… A spirit is… a… um…]]
[Say that a spirit is a guardian to the faithful.]
[[A guardian to the faithful! A-And…]]
[Is tasked with watching over the future of the Ringed Star Mother’s children.]]
[[Is tasked with watching over the future o-of the Ringed Star Mother’s children!]]
Spin #4.
Woooosh.
Pose #4.
Ding.
“Ball Mother! Ball Mother!”
The primitive man danced in excitement, while I shed a tear of joy. I was so overjoyed that I couldn’t help but pull my phone out of my pocket and play fanfare.mpee3 on max volume.
“Wúnderbar! Subarashī! Muy excelente! A round of applause, people! A round of applause!”
I started clapping in celebration.
That’s my student, right there, folks. What a wonderful spirit this bag-head is.
The primitive man, carried away by the excitement, started clapping his hands too. Though I’m not too sure he knows what he’s doing.
[That was an excellent display, Esphera. You did well for your first try.]
[Hehe… Thank you, Lord Yvell.]
[But next time, you need to add some special effects, too. Use your divine power to make a more miraculous display.]
[I will be sure to remember that for next time, Lord Yvell!]
She’s practically beaming, now. Cute. With a smile on a face like that, she could probably make for a really popular idol.
Now, to get things moving again.
“Yes. We are the apostle and the holy spirit, and we have come to give help to your tribe. So, won’t you lead us to your village?”
“Me, understand! Good! Happy! Me, guide!”
“It brings me much joy that you welcome our presence. Surely, the great Ringed Star Mother must be happy too.”
“Happy, good! Good! Fire Mother!”
Things were smooth sailing from there onward.
Now that we had a guide to lead us to the village of primitives, our pace increased. Contrary to my prior perception of this primitive, he was actually smarter than he seemed.
He marked trees on his path with stones, checked for animal droppings and tracks, and skirted around invisible animal borders we couldn’t tell were there.
With him as our guide, trouble felt miles away.
“Come to think of it, we haven’t asked your name yet.”
“Me, name?”
“Yes, your name. What’s your name?”
“Egg.”
Egg?
“Your name is Egg?”
“Yes. Egg, name. Shell sharp. Sharp, strong. Me, Egg, strong.”
[[Egg… What an excellent name!]]
[[A name reflecting the struggle for survival. To take your first steps as a mortal being, you must first break through the shell that binds you. And throughout life, there will be many barriers that stand in your way, but your parents must believe you can handle any situation, come what may. Your parents must expect you to achieve great things.]]
“Me, no understand. But, me strong. Egg, strong.”
Egg. Hm.
Well, naming cultures must still be in their infancy in this world, just as language is. I really shouldn’t have been surprised. Esphera seems to like his name, though. Maybe because she feels a kinship because of her own naming scheme.
Egg aside, we were almost out of the forest now. I was starting to tire from the trip. My feet, completely caked in mud, were beginning to hurt, but that wasn’t much of an issue.
Maybe I could have Esphera heal them for me later?
Esphera, on the other hand, was clearly very exhausted. While I did permit her to use some of her divine powers, I only had her use the abilities that would help her travel around and talk with that bag still on her head. The bag must be crazy stuffy right now, and probably swamped with sweat inside.
It would be nice if we could give her a break, but given the narrative we set, we shouldn’t show any weakness to Egg. The slightest crack in the story could dampen Esphera’s reputation with her followers in the future.
I wonder. What should I do?
…
Crunch. Crunch.
All of a sudden, Egg stopped in his tracks. He crouched and bent his back forward, pushing himself into a bush, and silently gestured for us to do the same.
Danger, maybe?
Now alert, I mimicked Egg’s actions and hid myself in the bush. It took a moment for Esphera to recognize what was going on, but she went and did the same in her own clumsy way, stumbling on a branch or two before reaching the bush we hid in. Then, there it was.
Crunch. Crunch.
A familiar, ugly beast. Now up close, it doesn’t really look that small like it did from the condo. And those udders… Those fucking udders…
Huff. Huff.
It was the dragon-cow beast, its breathing labored. Blood marked the corner of its mouth, and its tiny forearms… Wait, it has tiny forearms too? Like a T. rex?
Then, is it more like a rex-cow hybrid with wings? Now I’m confused…
Anyway, its tiny forearms were caked in blood and flesh. Despite their small size, those forearms carried three long claws that clearly did a lot of butchering in their time.
Its eyes searched around its surroundings as it huffed, clearly wary.
Looking at Egg, he was clearly on high guard, glaring daggers at the beast. His hands gripped his weapon tightly, veins showing on the skin and all.
Come to think of it, he lost a fellow tribesman today. Could this be the same creature from before? The one that killed a man today? In that case, how’s Esphera faring?
I turned to look at Esphera through the foliage.
“...”
No, that bag makes it impossible to tell what face she’s making right now. But her hands were clenched tightly, too.
Could she be scared?
Then, all of a sudden, the beast’s gaze stopped. Directed right where we were hiding.
It knows.
Egg, upon realizing this, pulled Esphera aside with his free hand, while his other hand gripped his sharp stick tightly. I followed them out of the bushes with my own crude spear as we made some distance between the beast and us.
“Apostle! Spirit! Move! Egg, fight! You, run!”
“What? Egg, you’re fucking crazy! You’re going to fight this thing alone?!?”
“Village, forward! Run, run! Me, stay!”
“Don’t even joke about that! That thing will eat you hard-boiled! I’ll stay and fight too. Es— No, Holy Spirit, you run to the village.”
“No! Apostle, stubborn!”
“No, you’re the fucking stubborn one!”
While we quarreled, the beast drew closer with heavy steps that shook the earth. The beast glared at us with the keen focus of a predator about to strike. Each breath from its nostrils carried force, easily kicking up dust.
This is really fucked.
Wait, why hasn’t Esphera moved yet?!?
“Holy Spirit! Move! You need to get going!”
“Egg, agree! Spirit! Go!”
Argh! What’s she doing?!? That dragon-cow, no, winged cow rex is coming!... Wait, where’s she going?
Esphera took confident steps forward toward the winged cow rex.
Just as I was about to reach out and grab her hand, I suddenly felt every hair on my body stand on end.
This… is fear. But I don’t think it’s that beast ringing alarm bells in my body. Then… what is—
“You. It was you who mauled my child to death earlier today, was it not?”
This voice… No, can it even be called that? It feels like it’s coming from all directions at once, wrapping around me like an invisible force pushing me to the ground.
W-What the fuck is going on?!?
“I have yet to create an afterlife for my children, so I had received his soul directly in place of one. Do you know what it feels like to have your organs cut open and turned to mush? An agonizing feeling, truly. A pain beyond any I have felt during my time as an immortal thus far.”
E-Esphera?...
“My mentor, Lord Yvell, told me. Exhaustion. Frustration. The pain of losing a friend. To bring me closer to understanding my desired utopia, I must emulate my faithful and their way of life. Yes. Emulation.”
Slowly, Esphera began to levitate. Her feet leaving the ground, she met the beast’s gaze at eye level. The beast flinched upon locking eyes with her and shrank back.
Fear.
I fell to my knees. I couldn’t breathe. No, maybe I simply forgot how to.
“Heeding his advice, I mirrored the mortal coil. Though short, the journey was rough. My legs ached. My knee, scratched. My stamina, drained. I felt only an ounce of the struggle of living, and found it overwhelming. So, my curiosity grew.”
Immense fear.
Egg fell next, losing his grip on his stick. His entire body was shaking, like a newborn fawn struggling to stand on its feet.
“What could that poor child have felt in his last moments, I wondered. Upon seeing your foul form, I just had to know. So, for a fraction of a second, I relived his entire life. The joy of childhood. Learning to hunt. A blossoming love for the village chief’s daughter. A beast that numbers could not defeat. And… his gruesome death.”
It’s… hot! Really hot!
Suddenly, the surroundings grew extremely hot, although there wasn’t a spark of fire in sight.
“Poor child… I shall make sure that he is avenged. Your death will not be a painless one.”
Esphera lifted her hand towards the beast, but suddenly pulled it back.
“... No… How did Lord Yvell do it again?”
She performed a spin in the air and struck a familiar pose, thrusting her hand towards the beast once more. A small flame roared out from her palm.
“I n c i n e r a t i o n.”
…
…
…
For a moment, everything in my vision was bleached white. Shadows went extinct, and sound along with them.
Although it was only for a moment, that moment felt like an eternity.
…
…
…
Finally, the lights dimmed. A portion of the forest before us had completely disappeared, and the winged cow rex… was nowhere in sight. In its place, there was merely pitch black scorched earth.
The ground had been gouged out as if someone had instantaneously formed a strange black dirt path that went far beyond the horizon.
Finally, a woman wearing a dirty dress of Roman aesthetic with a bag over her head floated down from the air, planting a foot on the ground.
Aside from the backpack, now pushed halfway up her head, the shoes clearly didn’t match the rest of her aesthetic. She was wearing worn-out sneakers from a fake brand, clearly cheap and covered in dirt and grass.
Both feet now on the ground, she turned to face the two stunned men behind her.
With the backpack just high enough to reveal her mouth, she flashed me a satisfied smile before sending me another telepathic message.
[Will this make for a fine legacy, Lord Yvell?]
…
Ha… Hahaha.
