The Flower

So many days has passed and my world felt like it was in calvary. Seyah became my best friend in the classroom where Trevor used to be.

And... We're still the same, we're still not paying attention and I probably don't plan to pay attention to him anymore.

I heard that he was entertaining someone in the other building, in Tourism. Maybe he likes it better there. Of course, who wouldn't? Except the beautiful... tall... smooth girls there... still fresh and untouched... Not like me. Cedrick scratched a few times.

That's why I thought about not getting married. I believe that virginity is the best gift a woman could ever give to her husband. But me? What else can I give as a gift if I already gave it in the first place? Have I given up on others?

I only feel guilty when I think about the man who will tie me up. Even now I feel sorry for him because if this is the only one he can marry, the one he can be with, the one he can have sex with, the one like me, I myself will back out. I don't want them to suffer because of me and I especially don't want to see them regret it in the end.

Because... I don't want them to waste their lives for me. Staying with me an living with or the rest of their lives isn't worth it. So I thanked Trevor for avoiding me. Because if he's a man and his feelings grow... if it really happened... I'll probably be the one to end it myself.

He deserves a girl with a white background and in other words... that's not me. Just from the photos of Cedrick on Facebook with his parents... I can feel that he comes from a decent family. I don't want to destroy what his parents gave him.

I don't want to get dirty and soiled in the name of others.

I don't deserve any men in this world. I don't deserve to be loved. I don't deserve to be cared for. I don't deserve to be cherished. That's it.

I went down the stairs and immediately saw Elise and Cedrick hugging each other at the door of this mansion. I snorted while watching them. Cedrick back hugs Elise. And they were both swaying their bodies to the slow classic music background.

"Oh, Sherin is here." Elise saw me in my reflection in the glass door.

I smiled at him and proceeded to go out to enter Cedrick's car. While I was walking there, I could hear their laughter in the back. Maybe Elise will accompany Cedrick to take me to the university.

When I reached the car, I opened the back seat door and sat there. I put the ear pods in my right ear to play music. I now have my own cellphone and Cedrick bought it for me. Sometimes he is late picking me up and he just texts me to commute home if he doesn't make it.

It's okay for me to commute every day. But Cedrick said that he will take care of me when he is not busy and he knows how difficult it is to commute. But because I used to be poor, I'm used to it, I think Cedrick is the only one who has a hard time watching me race to ride a jeep.

Elise even kissed Cedrick on the lips before they got into the car. And I don't know why I felt a sudden bolt of sadness in my chest. Their kiss was so intimate... so romantic... Like by just stating at them, you will be able to know and feel how they were in love with each other.

I tried so hard to swallow the lump in my throat. I just got on my cell phone and scrolled through social media. As I raised the screen, Ian's chathead popped up. We have been friends since the day he talked to me in the cafeteria.

Ian VillaVergara: are you coming in today?

Me: of course.

He replied immediately.

Ian VillaVergara: I'll wait for you at the gate.

Me: ok

Ian VillaVergara: be careful ¹⁴:)

I turned off my cellphone when Cedrick and Elise entered. While traveling, the two of them are sweet. They were still holding hands while Cedrick drove. I just kept quiet here and so I couldn't speak.

I won't say anything because Elise and I are not close.

Elise and I talked but only very often. Because we don't have the same likes that we can talk about and I feel that he doesn't want to talk to me either. I don't know... I don't know and I don't plan to reconcile with him either. I don't want to feel guilty again.

When I arrived at the university, I immediately got off the car. Both of them did not wave at me and immediately turned as if they were eager to leave. Because I heard earlier... They said they had a date.

They probably wanted to kick me out of the car so they could have sex there. Why do they have to wait for me to leave? I can watch them. I am no longer an innocent child. I'm also curious about the reaction on his face Cedrick every time they have sex. I wonder who tasted delicious with us two for Cedrick? Is it Elise or me?

But I could say that my body is perfectly hit comparing to Elise. The only thing that makes him a winner is... Cedrick loves him. Cedrick loves her and that's it. Of course, he is the tastiest. There is nothing better than the person you are close to, especially if you love them.

I entered and when I opened the gate... I just stepped back in shock when Ian greeted me with a flower in his hand. My eyebrows met while staring at the flower she was holding. "What is that?"

"A flower... for the lovely woman... Sherin." he said.

I turned away and didn't take it. "What's that for?" My eyes are different and so is my voice. Stop. That. Damn.

"It's yours." He laughed which I liked and disliked. I've already been annoyed at the mansion, will this man grant an addition to it? I'm probably the unluckiest person today. Um, today?! Nah. Every day. I shouldn't be surprised, eh. I should get used to it.

"That's yours." I let him see the annoyance in my voice and walked past him.

"It's just a joke." He took it back and chased me. "I like you that's why I'm giving this to you." He almost shouted what he was saying to me causing the other students to look at him.

I stopped walking and looked at Ian eye to eye. "Ian..." My voice was tinged with warning. "Um do you know who are you talking to?" I asked seriously.

"Yeah?" He scratched the bridge of his nose.

"I just wanna make the things clear. I am not open for relationship at this moment. I guess you were in the wrong woman. I don't have time to play with you Ian. And I'm not feeling sorry with that," I told him and walked away again but he still chased me.

"Yeah. I know! I know that Sherin? I know you will say that. But please? Can you just accept this flower as a friend? Please? I would not ruin your principle. I respect you Sherin." Next, Ian said behind me.

So I couldn't do anything but stop and take the flower she was giving me. I also thanked you because he might say that I have a very hard heart, but if I can't even thank him for what he gave me.

Well, he deserves it. I also just received flowers from a guy and I have to admit... Ian made me happy somehow.

When I entered the classroom, I was still holding the flower that Ian had given me. Everyone is busy with their own business. Of course, they do nothing but read and read. I guess it's like this when it comes to Political Sciences.

"Wow. We have so many lovers, ah?!" Seyah's loud scream enveloped the classroom. My classmates kept looking at me, including Trevor, but he immediately looked away, not surprising.

I sat in my chair and put down the bag.

"Who is that from?" Seyah is intrigued.

"To Ian." I answered sparingly.

"To Ian?!" I covered his mouth because she was screaming. As if she was listening to someone. "The man really wants you, what?" She said stupidly.

I sat up and leaned on the backrest of my chair. "You're not sure." I said.

"Huh?" Seyah said.

"I already confronted him. I said I'm not open for a relationship right now. It looks like he's just looking for a friend. I'm not available to play with him. Let him play with his pet, not me." I said boldly and assertively. Aside from I am not ready for commitment though, i have no plans to have boyfriends.

"You know... you're right. I'll help him play that. I still feel jumbo." We both laughed at what she said.

Our professor had arrived so we were both quiet. The prof gave a lecture and we did nothing but listen and occasionally recite. Until he finishes discussing... He is now doing activity and he says it is by partner.

I kept listening to him waiting for my name to be called. I was sitting straight Zhang playing with the ballpoint pen in hand.

Seyah also stood up when he was called. It is said that we will sit next to our male partner. Girl and boy because he said this activity will take weeks. He also said that there is a part where we will interview some respondents.

"Sanchez, you are Cervantes' partner."

I looked up at Professor Nicolai. Did I hear it right? Trevor is my partner? is he serious As in no joke? When you look at it. This partnership will take weeks even if it's just an activity. He's really like this... The activity is like a big project.

I stood up from my seat and walked towards Trevor's side. He was just looking at the top of his table.. I was not greeted happily unlike other partners who almost jumped and even danced with joy.

I probably have the loneliest partner right now. Why am I still Trevor's partner? There are many girls in the classroom who have a crush on me, which... will make her feel better.

While I was sitting, I could still smell her perfume. I closed my eyes, sniffing the scent I missed for how many weeks. He has been so good to smell. He is still like this. It probably still smells so good all the time. We waited until Sir finished announcing the mag partners.

Just like our professor ordered... We both did and planned what we would do for the project. It was an interview regarding the political insights of Filipinos inside this City.

It was a little bit kind of documentary which he said I will be the one who report and narrate the situation... And Trevor will shoulder the rest, the script, the camera, and the target place we will be going to conduct the said interview.

I grabbed the paper on his hand and jotted down the thought in my mind before it could even escape my brain. I don't know if Trevor is reading what I'm writing now but I know his attention is on me.

"So... what do you think if we will conduct this in the afternoon? It's too hot at noon and the respondents might even get annoyed with us." I suggested and looked at him.

"Hmm?" I arched my right brow when he didn't respond. He did nothing but stare at my face. "Trevor." I called his name again because he was stunned.

He blinked and shook his head. "What is it again?"

I sighed. "What do you think if we will conduct this in the afternoon?" I asked him again.

He adjusted his seat and looked at the paper I was writing on. "Yeah. That's good." He replied.

I nodded my head. "And we will do this on Saturday in the afternoon." I said with finality. There is no such thing as school and it is better to work there because no one will disturb us and we can focus on the project.

"I'll pick you up on Saturday." My one eyebrow automatically raised because of what he said. Fetch? Where? At Cedrick's house?

I was about to agree but I remembered that he doesn't want me to come to him... And I know that this partnership will become... It's just a force inside him so I said... "No don't. Just send me the address where we will meet. I can go alone."