Chapter 23

The tears run down my cheeks, “not anymore?" I stop him forcefully when he was about leaving, “is that what you tell me, after what you've done? Damn it, Kahin, you don't want to take me for being stupid, that I'm not,” he turns violently.

"Do you want me to let myself be humiliated by what happened? You're stupid ...” my hand hits her face from the slap I give him.

"I'm not going to allow you to talk to me like that, not to me. Why didn't you look for me? Why, since you knew where I was, did you not look for me?” Now I look at him with hatred when I remember everything, “tell me Kahin, do you think that call redeems you from everything you have put me through?” He does not look away, he does not move, he just looks at me there without making any expression and that only infuriates me more, the tears come out more abundantly, damn it, answer me,” I let myself be dominated by my feelings and getting closer to him, I hit him with all my might until I feel Malcolm takes me away from him.

"Come on brother, it's better to let her calm down," Lucy pulls Kahin, but he doesn't move, he just looks at me.

"If you do not know the reasons, do not question my actions," saying this, he walks away, allowing himself to be guided by his sister. Hurt and feeling bad about everything and very worried about my sun, I hug Malcolm.

"I shouldn't have come here, it was a bad idea," I sob, Malcolm hugging me tightly.

"It was your little fault, how do you think of doing such a thing? Don't you understand that now not only that son of a bitch is enraged? Now you're going to have to deal with the other one who overheard you,” without wanting to think more, I separate myself from Malcolm.

"I'm not going to feel guilty for making him feel bad, I feel guilty because my sun shouldn't have heard that,” I walk towards the room, sitting on the bed and remembering what happened, anger engulfs me and I throw everything I can. My sun heard how Kahin made me scream, Kahin is upset with me for answering another man’s call while he made me his, but what the hell is wrong with me? Why am I acting like a fucking bitch? I'm not like that,I'm not as immature as I am.

When I totally calm down and see the time, I decide to go feed my son. Like a ghost and still wearing Kahin's shirt that has me wrapped in his scent, I arrive at Lucelia's room, open the door that was ajar and look out cautiously. Looking at the scene inside the room my heart stops for a few seconds and then pounding, my older brunette and my brown baby are staring into each other's eyes. The two contemplate each other and it is as if they know they are one for the other, the tenderness that grows in me makes me smile. It is time to tell the truth, it is time to forget the damage and do things as they should be done.

"What are you so serious about?" I stop in my tracks when I hear him speak. Haven't he noticed that the baby is his? I thought it would just clear him out of doubt, but don't he know? "Your mother has done to me what no other has been able to do," my son moves in his arms. Kahin is sitting on the edge of the bed and he is holding the baby in his arms as he rests on his legs.

"I am not to blame for having fallen in love with you," I enter determined to speak with him. I have to do this, but Kahin doesn't think the same, he gets up like he was caught doing something wrong.

"I took him because he was crying and you didn't show up," I smile tenderly when I see what happens to our son.

“Kahin we must talk, there are things I must tell you,” I look into his eyes as I take our son in my arms, “look Kahin, we must forget and ...”

"I must go Marilí, tomorrow you can tell Malcolm to take you home," he passes me but I stop him.

“You must listen to me, I have something to say ...”

"There is nothing to say here. I no longer intend to crawl after you, I no longer intend to humiliate myself to be with you, no more.”

I frown at his impudence, but aware that we must speak, I let his words go by, “but you must listen to me, Kahin the ..."

"No, damn it!" He yells, startling the baby who immediately starts to cry, Kahin takes advantage and leaves the room.

“Kahin wait,” I go after him, but he advances the pace and the cries of my son make me stop, my baby is first, “fuck, what a father and son. How can it be like this?” My son cries louder so I say no more, I walk towards my old room to feed my son, “is your mother just anybody? I shouldn't have slept with him, right? I shouldn't have responded to my sunshine while I was with your father. But what is wrong with me? I did everything wrong darling, your mother has lost her mind after that painful deception ... And after that ...”

"Talking to myself?" She interrupts me, with her smile, I look at her.

"Myself? Not really, my baby listens to me very attentively.”

She sits next to me, “I see," she sighs, "I had never seen my brother control himself so much,” I look at her again, “he loves you too much, Dulce, but without a doubt what you have done will mark a before and after.” I press my jaw and look at my son.

“Whatever will be, will be. Things like that happened and it can't be done anymore,” everything I went through comes to his lie, I'm not going to feel guilty for him, I'll only feel bad for what I did to my sun, he didn't deserve to hear such a thing.

"You're very stubborn, did they tell you? Pride is nothing more than to lose everything we love. You should realize that you weren't the only one who suffered and is suffering with all this,” she caresses my son's forehead and leaves without further ado. With my heart beating in a strange way and with a horrible feeling in my stomach, I decide to lie down next to my son, really my brown is the one that makes me feel peace.