Chapter 31

There is silence in the room as we wait for my lawyer, when he arrives, they start, my nerves kills me, but I am impassive and strong.

“What my client asks is to prevent the baby from leaving abroad without his authorization, he also wants to register him as his legitimate father, your client was the one who did not say anything about her pregnancy and kept it a secret and away from my client, she put another father to the child,” truly, my organs are getting hard because of Kahin's stupidity.

“If you let me clarify, we will end this soon, my client had strong reasons to stay away from Mr. Hamann, I cannot deny that she concealed the existence of her son, but it was at the request of Mr. Hamann,” my lawyer looks at the aforementioned who cannot stand the displeasure, “the Lord's words were, ‘leave me alone and live your life, forget about me and don't look for me, or tell me anything’, we have witnesses that even without being present can support what I am saying with solid evidence.” Veins poke out on Kahin's neck, my lawyer looks again at his colleague, “who has been given another parent? You are wrong,” my lawyer takes out the documentation that he demanded from me days before, “the child is registered as a Cook, my client registered him as a single mother in order to one day tell the gentleman here about his son's existence,” the two men look at Kahin and then at me.

“I wanted to explain things to him,” I defend myself, “and he didn't let me do it, he just wanted to bring things to this level,” I look at them, “here I will only fight to get my son out of the country, my son is Italian and his life is there, with me...”

"My son will not leave here," Kahin shouts, "I want a lawsuit against her, I want her to sign a document saying that my son cannot leave here and if she takes him away without my authorization, make it look like a kidnapping."

The aching in my heart filled me with rage, I get up furious, “why? Why are you doing this to me Kahin? Dammit! I can't believe that after leaving me, after abandoning me, you do a shit to me like that. It was you who didn't want to see me anymore,” my chest rises and falls from the force with which I breathe, my insides burn from the fury I feel and the tears want to come out, but I don't allow it, enough of feeling weak and crying every time I hear his damn words and witness the disdain with which he treats me.

"We're going to leave you alone for a minute," the two lawyers get up and leave the room, I ignore them or even look at them.

"Why the hell don't you say anything? I called you as soon as I realized my pregnancy and what did I get from you? Nothing! You didn't answer me, I tried again and again, I was looking for you. Damn, I wanted you there with me and you just left me aside and as if that wasn't enough for you the day I gave birth to our son, your son, I begged that they call you and you tell my friend to leave you alone, that you didn't care what happened to me,” I can no longer hold back the tears, these are a combination of pain and fury, “you abandoned me, you left me without you and everything because of hatred and resentment that I was leaving and yet I wanted to come here and look for you, but for what? Who would guarantee me if what I would find when I returned was the man I loved and not just another disappointment? I still come here and I saw you with that pregnant woman by your side and yes, I know she's your sister and it was a mix-up, but I didn't know. If I hid that from you that would unite us again, it was because of your words. Could I do something else? I could not have lived with the fact that you would not accept my son, after all you said you did not care about me and he came out of me,” the feelings of pain that I have, burn inside, they leave me breathless, without motivation or desire to continue. That man I loved left me alone and did not allow me to get close to him, he did not allow me to tell him things and he only treated me badly on the contrary to apologize for what he did, “speak damn it ...”

"I saw you," he yells, interrupting me, "I saw you with him," he looks at me, "I went for you a week after you left. The necklace you have from Pocahontas has a tracker, you can be on the other end of the planet and I can find you,” I look at him totally out of place, “Malcolm, the idiot forced me to give you that week to think, when I can't take it anymore, I took the damn jet and went to find you. When I arrived, I saw you accompanied by that idiot. Shit! I wanted to break his damn face, I wanted to kill him for being with my wife and of course he would, but when he was close to arriving, I saw you smile,” he looks into my eyes and I see something that I never saw in them before, his doubts.

“I asked myself, is she worth fighting for? Am I worthy of her love? I questioned myself, I did what I had never done before. I never question myself, I had no reason to do so, I can do everything, but that time it was not like that, that time I thought only of you and your happiness. I let you go Marilí, but I didn't do it out of hatred or resentment for leaving me alone, it was out of love for you, it was because I wanted to see you happy. I know I screwed up, I know I ignored you all those times you called, but now you know why and you can't blame me for that.”

Completely stunned by what I just heard, my heart is losing strength and my mind is remembering that I was a damn idiot to treat him and judge him so harshly. All his mistreatments become nothing, “I suffered with each call, with each message I received from you. I loved you and wanted you just for me, but I put my possessiveness aside just to see you happy. When I saw you that day in Atlapa, I couldn't believe you were back and I knew I could make up for the stupid mistake I made for believing that it was good for you, I was going to get you back, you would be mine again, but then you gave me the baby and when I saw him, I knew immediately that he was mine.

I didn't say anything to see how far you will go, but you wouldn't say anything, you thought me too easy when I said that I didn't want to hear from you nor was I interested in what happened to you. When we spent those hours at the prosecutor's office to denounce those imbeciles, your silence told me that you would still not say anything, at that moment I knew that you preferred that we leave before telling me about my son,” he shakes his head, “but who would say, that secret that separated us was going to be the same by which we must be united. When I heard the name you gave my son, I wanted to go crazy with joy. But how to show it if you were still hiding him from me? I kept ignoring that damn secret that hurt me more every minute. I thought that by making you mine, that by reminding you of what we were, you would finally speak. But on the contrary, you answered that idiot. The one who enjoyed everything that I should enjoy and if…yes, I know that later you wanted to explain to me, but how do you expect me to trust after all that?”

With my heart shattered, my feelings revolutionized and moved by tears of pain, I feel like shit, we've gotten hurt by some stupid misunderstanding.