Chapter 58

“You're crazy, I don't know how you can say those things,” I say to him.

My friend got up and out of nowhere she pushes her boyfriend, “I am fed up with this damn subject, that if Hamann is going to be filled with children, that he is no longer going to have freedom, that Lucelia has already begun to give birth ... that this that the other Damn it! Understand that Kahin and Francesco are not fearful idiots like you,” we all look at them with open eyes and mouths, Carla is yelling at Loan like never before, “they are not afraid to be happy, they are not afraid of having a family no matter how chaotic it maybe. Damn it, I hate it when you express yourself like that when you hear about pregnancy.

To make it clearer and give you more repudiation I'm pregnant Loan, I'm 8 weeks old and I've been alone ... Suppressing my ailments for the fear that you would leave me alone, but now that I think about it I prefer to be alone and use the half million that my friend gave me to get ahead with my son. I don't need you or your damn machismo, I got sick of all this shit and I don't want you to come near me. If you are so disgusted or repudiated at having a child, or you think I'm not good enough to give birth to a child then we have nothing to do together,” my agitated friend breaks down, seconds later the vomiting shot straight from her onto Loan who was stunned.

“Oh my God, shut your mouth friend,” Kahin laughs disgusted, and rightly so, Loan's mouth was open.

“Daughter,” my aunt approaches my friend who is staggering, “are you okay?” I don't know how to react, my friend didn't say anything to me, she was alone in all this and she didn't allow me to accompany her in these moments. Malcolm gets up and hands her a handkerchief, getting up I stand in front of my friend who starts to cry when she sees me.

“Kahin take the fool out of our sight, leave me alone with her,” I ask them, I look at my aunt so she doesn't worry, Malcolm pulls her away.

With the two of us left alone, I hand her a bottle of water to wash her mouth, pulling her we sat down, “do you want to talk about it?"

My friend nods, “do you remember that time we went to Kahin's house in Antón? You told me that Loan was one of those who gets a woman pregnant and leaves, do you remember?” I close my eyes when I remembered, “you were right as always,” she doesn't stop crying, “he made it very clear to me, no pregnancies and ... and I ... I neglected myself and now I have lost him, but I am calm because for my baby I am ready for everything, I did not leave him before because I know what it is to grow up without a father. Marilí you know that too, although God gave us mothers all terrain that father figure is always needed and I did not want that for me baby, but what is better? To have him in a place where he is not wanted or to raise him by myself and avoid further suffering for not being wanted?” I hug my friend, some tears slide down my cheeks, I know exactly how she feels.

“I know what that is darling, and I understand you, but what I said that time is not true, Loan is scared, it shows when he talks about pregnancies and babies, you should talk to him and make things clear,” after talking to my friend and reassuring her. I hold her by the hand as we leave to meet with the others, they are listening to mariachis in a local.

“I can't believe we're 8 weeks pregnant, we're going to give birth together,” my friend screams as excited as I am.

“I know,” seeing Loan with flowers in hand leaves me glued to the floor.

“I know that I did it wrong, I know that I failed to tell you that I was abandoned by my parents, I know that you should know this and that way you would realize that I am afraid of being a father. I fear being just as bad as mine, but here today in front of our families I am going to promise you that I will do the impossible to be a good father and never leave my children without me. Yes to my children, not only do I love this one, I want to form that large family that I did not have,” that sudden change of opinion is almost explained by what he said, but there was help there, I look at each of those present and their smiles tell me that they all had to do with it, “Zaza, I love you and I would never hurt you like this, I would never leave you alone because I know what it is to be abandoned, please forgive me.” My friend, like the soft girl she is, runs and throws herself into the arms of her blonde.

“I hate you for not telling me that, I could help you and be there for you always,” she kiss his lips, “that's why you were so afraid of losing me,” she smile, “I love you Zazo and it will always be like that, but before I would have vomited on your face, “we all laughed at that occurrence.

“Will you forgive my Sweetie?” Seeing my stupid husband reminds me of what he did.

“No Hamann, for you there is no forgiveness,” my son begins to bellow and that makes me laugh, “alright I will forgive your father, but if he do it again it will be bad for him,” I take my son in my arms and I sit on the leg of my brunette who kisses me.

“That music,” growls Lucy, “I don't want to hear it,” she looks upset, my sun kneels in front of her and kisses the blonde.

“It is our beautiful song,” she looks at him with tears in her eyes, Ed Sheeran's ´photograph´ sounds, “I want you to listen to it with your heart and understand it in a good way and not with sadness,” we all look at them attentively while Francesco begins to sing it, Carla explodes before me, tears slide silently down my cheeks, my mother takes photos, we always take how many photos we can of Francesco with us.

“He must live,” I whisper, “they deserve a long and beautiful life, they are the perfect couple,” Kahin hugs me, these last days he has lowered the sumos with my sun, he is realizing that he really makes his sister and his niece happy, and I have begun to give priority to my husband.

“You have to take him to a healer,” says Kahin, Francesco is silent and just like everyone looks at him, “a healer is a person who has extensive experience and knowledge with natural medication, be it plants and everything that has to do with it, I know one,” he look at Malcolm, “she healed Malcolm of the prostate,” my heart races.

"Yes, but it was just starting," the big man clarifies.

"I don't think there is any harm in trying," Lucelia is quick to say.

“It would be great to try,” Randon takes a step forward, “I have heard many things from those people, they have even cured people who are almost dead, people who have no hope.”

Francesco gets up, “it is not good that you give false hope,” his seriousness is disconcerting.

“Quiet,” says Loan, “you will not suffer as you would with chemotherapy, everything will be known if you visit the woman, I remember when we were with Malcolm, they were just shots and having a strict diet, she gives it to you,” we all have our opinions and views, there is a hope in all the darkness and can't be wasted.

“I don't know, I don't want false hopes to be given ...”

“Shut the fucking mouth,” grunts Fatima, “damn it is a hope, you just have to go with the witch and that's it, stop being so pessimistic that I do not value you my friend.”

"She's a healer, not a witch," I correct her.

“The point is that she is there to help you, gentlemen, hope is never lost,” we all agree with it, we are all hopeful.

“I will make love to you like a crazy woman,” I whisper to my man in his ear, “you have been a heavenly angel, thanks for speaking,” I kiss his lips with love.

“All to see you and my sister happy,” he smiles at me, that is my man showing me that he is always better.