50

For some reason Jasper knew which pack I belonged to and for some reason it changed the whole atmosphere of the room.

"Tell me everything," demanded, if not commanded, the alpha. As if this were the most important thing in the world. His eyes suddenly darkened.

And suddenly the attention was on me. My mouth went dry in an instant and I felt like I hadn't had a drink in 10 years. Could I even talk like that?

I looked over at Jasper questioningly and completely overwhelmed, but he wouldn't explain anything to me. Why should he? He hadn't even told me his name. He didn't even return my gaze, even though he noticed mine.

Taking a deep breath, I put the words together in my head before I began to speak.

"My pack was attacked by another pack, I didn't know how or why, but my parents seemed to know. Because my mother wanted me to run away and get to safety as soon as possible. When I escaped, I didn't realize that I ran to another station" I told him, almost every word was a lie and I prayed that he didn't notice. I tried to keep my breathing and heart rate steady as best I could. The only thing I might have been quite good at.

He looked skeptically from me to Jasper and then back to me.

"We cannot deny the safety of Mikael and Mariel's daughter," Jasper began, my head snapping in his direction. First he knows in which pack I am or was and now he also knows the name of my parents. What pack am I in? And how did he recognize me? Shouldn't I know him too? But neither Jasper nor the Alpha look familiar to me.

"You're in charge of her, I'll send some wolves to the pack maybe there are still survivors," the Alpha spoke, his gaze fixed on Jasper, who didn't look thrilled that he was in charge of me. Like he's my babysitter. I could literally see the dislike in his eyes. Just because he worked for my survival didn't mean he was interested in anything with me.

"Can't someone else do that?" He asked dismissively, which made me furrow my eyebrows in disgust for a moment. I mean I didn't want to stay here. I have to keep moving. But somehow it still wasn't nice to hear. It only confirmed the feeling that I was not welcome anywhere.

"I'm still here, too," I reminded them both, but like the whole time, they ignored me and engaged in a gaze duel. You are probably now continuing the discussion via Mind-link, where you can also talk about me undisturbed.

After what seemed like an eternity, Jasper got up and motioned for me to follow, while the Alpha immediately got busy with something else.

At first I had problems keeping up at all, because with his long legs he could take much longer steps than I could with my short ones.

Also, he didn't really seem to care that I wasn't following. It even seemed to me he would walk faster and faster to lose me. Out of sight, out of mind , or as the saying goes. But I would never find my way in this house alone. Because we now went a completely different way than to the basement rooms, in which I was the last few days.

He finally stopped in front of a door, and I was able to take a deep breath.

"This is your room for now, I'll send someone to take care of you later," he explained as he opened the door and walked into the room with me.

"I thought you'd take care of me" I asked, which could be misunderstood and he determined, judging by his look. "So you already know how to show me around" I added to ease the situation. I had to find a way out. But first I had to play along. The attention was already on me. Don't take hasty steps.

I mean he can't lock me in a small room first, then take me to his alpha where they both know me and yet neither wants me, only to then put me in some other room where I don't get answers to mine got questions.

He answered my question with a simple "No" before he went to the door again to leave me alone in this room.

"Any more questions?" he asked me, looking rather impatient.

"How do you know so much about me?" I asked the first question that came to my mind, but as expected it was not answered.

"I wasn't being serious, just being polite," Jasper replied before closing the door and leaving me alone.

Frustrated, I lay on the bed and examined the covers, as I had the rest of the hours.

I didn't know what I was supposed to be here or what I was. First I was an intruder, then a prisoner and suddenly I was someone who couldn't be refused protection and now I'm lying on a strange bed in a strange house by a strange pack.

But I couldn't complain, I wanted to live and I was alive. But at what price? Sure, it could have been worse, much worse, but I couldn't feel comfortable here because I wasn't welcome. I also felt him on my neck the whole time.

And let's not forget the guilt that plagued me. And the reason why I had to flee. And my pack had to pay the price. The screams still echoed in my ears, the smell of blood still lingered in my nostrils. Both made my stomach turn.

Unexpectedly, my door opened and a girl walked in, putting a pile of clothes on a table.

She glanced at the door as if about to leave, but she stopped and turned her gaze to me.

"The food is ready, we all eat together as a pack and since you are a guest you should eat with us" she said, whereupon I furrowed my eyebrows. But before I could even say anything, you stopped this already.

"I don't feel like staying here any longer than necessary, so would you please come with me. It's by order of the new alpha's parents," she added.

With a nod I got up while the wildest thoughts were going on in my head.

I had to distract myself here somehow, I also had the feeling that I hadn't really spoken to anyone here. However, I didn't have the feeling that anyone here really wanted to talk to me either.

To take my mind off things, I decided to chat with the girls. Maybe I could make some friends here. But at the thought of friends, my blood celebrated. It would just be more names on his list. I shouldn't think like that.

"I'm Jules and you?" I asked you, but you didn't answer before we got into a big hall. There were several groups of tables in the hall, one of which stood out the most. The Alpha's table. Which we headed straight for.

We weren't allowed to disturb the Alpha while he was eating unless it was a matter of life and death, which is why it felt so strange and strange to walk straight up to him now. But maybe there are different rules here.

By the time we got to the table, the girl kept her head down while I felt a few eyes on me. Which made me feel again that everyone here knows more than I do. I also noticed that I was still wearing my dirty clothes. Appetizing.

When I lifted my head and took a closer look at the Alpha table, I noticed a familiar face that I couldn't place.

The girl pushed the chair out of my way so I could sit on it better and then disappeared again while I sat facing the familiar but unfamiliar face.

The older woman smiled heartily at me while the older man eyed me up. Sitting next to them was the Alpha and Jasper, so were they brothers after all?

"You're like your mother's face" said the lady as she gave me her hand. "I'm Clarisse and these are my sons Jasper and Carter, our new alpha," the older lady introduced herself.

"It's been quite a long time, I don't know if you can still remember us, but we used to be very good friends with your parents," she said, while I tried to remember.

"The packs used to work closely together, although your father often saved my husband's life. Which is why it is now a matter of course for us to take you in for so long," Clarisse said softly. Her voice evoked a soothing warmth. maternal care. How long I haven't felt that.

But I didn't miss the way Jasper and Alpha Carter tensed when Clarisse talked about her father. Wasn't the old man her father?

"And for that I thank you very much, do you already know if there are any survivors from my pack?" I asked, whereupon Clarisse's smile changed to a few millimeters and seemed forced.

"Let's talk about it later, kid, now we want to eat first. Tomorrow the boys will show you around personally and we'll see what's going on," she said, although the two didn't look enthusiastic. But you didn't intend to contradict your mother either.

It reminded me a lot of the situation when my parents wanted me to take my little sister somewhere but I didn't feel like it at all.

I gave Clarisse another smile before I started to eat and put the rest of my thoughts to one side.

My family will be fine, you were smart. Much smarter than me. You'll have survived , I told myself. Although I was able to block out the background noise around me for a moment and it felt like this was a normal meal in our pack.

Once again I was awkwardly following someone who was leading me through the maze of corridors in this house.

Because my questions were finally answered right away, although I didn't know if I really wanted to hear the answers.

There was only one door separating me from complete emotional destruction or redemption. Either my pack was killed solely because of my decision or it survived and I can go back to my family. In case they still want me after I've escaped. At the same time, our pack would be another target.

But when the door opened and I saw Clarisse's eyes, I knew which of the two was entering.

The Destruction .

"Sit down," she said in her calm voice while Alpha Carter sat next to her. Jasper wasn't in the room, just the three of us.

Even if I wanted to speak, I couldn't because the lump in my throat told me I'd burst into tears at the next word. Which is why I sat silently in front of the two, hoping not to have to talk.

"I think it's better if I don't beat around the bush," Clarisse began before taking a deep breath. "Unfortunately, the wolves we sent out didn't come back with good news. The only thing they left were dead bodies. We can only hope that your parents were able to escape like you."

I nodded cautiously as the images of the evening resurfaced in front of me.

Concerned, I looked at my mother, who smiled broadly at my father. She was better at keeping her feelings and thoughts to herself than I was. In general, she was a better wolf than me in all respects.

Without saying anything else, I started to eat when someone ran towards our table. It was Clark, one of the wolves on guard duty today .

Before my father could begin to speak, she began. Which made me afraid.

" Stranger wolves. Dead. Attack" were the only words she could get out under heavy breath before she fell over and everyone broke out in a rush .

My parents exchanged a look when the howl of an alien wolf was heard. He was it. My whole body stiffened. Although my breathing speeded up unnoticed, I felt like my lungs weren't filling up with air properly. How could I be so stupid and think he 's not coming back ? How could I think that he would accept my decision? As if this were n't the first place he would look?

"Jules" my mother said softly. "You have to be strong, like we've been practicing for the last few weeks. Do you remember your training?" she asked me to which I nodded. But I didn't listen to her because all I could think of was the images of him.

He would kill me, he will kill me. Really this time.

"Hey Jules, you have to face him. You mustn't be afraid. Be a leader of the pack who stands by your decisions. Nobody judges you for you," she said before pulling me along behind her. "Sometimes fate plays a nasty trick on us. But we have to learn from it and move on."

It was pure battlefield outside while I still felt like I was in a trance. I just couldn't think about moving. I generally couldn't think of anything but the screaming, the breaking of bones, the blood.

I could never assert myself against him. I was too weak. I was more human than wolf, that alone was not a promising combination. I had my mind, but it also tended to switch off in situations like this.

Without saying anything else, my mother threw herself into the fighting wolves; while looking at it from the outside. It was like some kind of movie. With the difference that this was reality .

"Find her" I heard a deep voice, which awakened my deepest fears and before I knew it I was running.

"Jules," Clarisse's voice pulled me back before I realized I was here. With you.

"My parents are dead" I kept repeating while the only thing I heard was the screams. I watched her run into battle as I ran in front of him.

"We don't know if your parents are dead," Clarisse tried to reassure me, even though she knew as well as I did that you were probably dead and that it was my fault, mine alone. Every death is my responsibility. Entire families have been wiped out because of me. He wouldn't leave anyone alive. He made sure I couldn't go back.

"You should lie down and rest first, we'll take a look tomorrow. But before you go upstairs, the wolves found an envelope with your name on it. We didn't look at it, maybe you could just say who it is from," he said me while wiping away my tears

As soon as I saw my name written, I could tell it was his handwriting.

"It's my father's handwriting, but I'd like to read the letter myself," I lied in a trembling voice, whereupon Clarisse nodded understandably and gave me the envelope. I had to fight with all my might not to faint right here.

He will find me again .

As I said goodbye, I caught Carter's eyes, but I didn't care how weak you thought I was. You don't know what made me do this, let alone the truth. Perhaps you would understand, but for me my escape was a betrayal that cannot be forgiven. I put my life above the hundred.

On the way back to my room, my whole body was shaking so badly I felt like I was going to collapse at any moment.

In the end I was glad I was in bed and didn't have to move anymore. Because I didn't have the strength or the will to do it.

I just wanted to lay in bed and pretend there wasn't a maniac out there who wanted to see me die.