56

Jasper Pov

"The house could use some flowers, you know?" said Jules as she rubbed her hair dry with a towel.

"I'm not here often, the plants would just die," I countered when Jules entered the kitchen and eyed me. Her blue eyes shone and I must say I had never seen Jules so satisfied.

She seemed like a completely different person. When I remember that scared girl in the woods.

Jules has another mate , my wolf reminded me. Even if that thought made me compulsively clench my fists.

I also remembered Blake. I shouldn't have such thoughts out of respect for her.

"What are you doing there?" Jules asked while sitting at the kitchen counter and watching my every step. "I didn't know that you cook. Or do anything else in general besides working out or coaching others."

When you think about it, I really don't do it anymore, but since my father died there haven't been any more either. I had lost my job. I didn't want him anymore either. My mistakes caused me to lose a large part of my family. I failed in every line.

"We missed dinner," I replied, ignoring the second part of her statement. "You should eat enough, the transformation takes a lot of energy."

As if I had reminded Jules of something, she already grabbed her stomach and nodded eagerly.

"How did it feel?" I asked, trying to get the image out of my head of a naked Jules pulling me into her arms. She was so electrified that she didn't realize she wasn't wearing anything.

Jule's cheeks turned a faint pink and I'd bet she was thinking back to the moment as well.

I didn't want her to be uncomfortable around me. But I was afraid if I brought it up again that I would make it all the more funny. So I left it at that.

"Releasing," Jules replied with a big smile. "I don't know when was the last time I felt this good."

"I'm glad," I replied, not even noticing that her smile returned as well. Only when Jules pointed it out to me.

"You should smile more often." Her eyes almost hung on my lips, but I couldn't pretend it wasn't the other way around.

Distance , I should provide distance.

"The food will be ready soon. I never have much here, but it was enough for a vegetable casserole," I said, turning my back on Jules.

There was silence for a moment before Jules cleared his throat and wiped his face in embarrassment.

"What did my wolf look like?" she asked, avoiding my gaze.

Was she really worried about how I'd find her wolf? I had to suppress a smile at the thought. Instead, I licked my lips and thought of her wolf.

She was bigger than expected. Her fur was chestnut brown and shimmered reddish in the sun. She had two bald patches due to scar tissue. One on the right hind leg and one at shoulder height. Even her wolf was not spared by him. But somehow that gave her wolf something dangerous.

"Wild but beautiful," I answered her absently. And reminded me how it felt to run next to her, with her. When was the last time I let myself go like this?

The smell of the food brought me back to reality. Cursing, I opened the oven. Jules had also jumped up and was suddenly standing next to me.

"Everything went well," I informed her while I got the food out and put it on the kitchen island. I tried not to think about how it felt when Jules' arm grazed mine.

"Are you okay? You seem so tense" Jules asked thoughtfully, her eyes searching mine so intently that I had to resist the urge to tell her the truth.

I've already broken too many rules.

Without saying anything, I took out plates and breathed deeply in and out. calm down

"Hey" I heard Jule's voice, her hand resting on my upper arm and for a moment I saw something flicker in her eyes. "Now don't shut me out again," she said softly.

Her lips formed a soft smile that only an idiot would not return.

"Is something wrong?" She asked again and worry lines slowly formed on her forehead. Doubts and uncertainties formed in her eyes, but I was still unable to speak. "Is it something to do with me? Did I do something wrong?"

What could she ever have done wrong? She wanted to live, not just survive. No one could take her evil. She was almost a child when she met the horror.

Jules slowly took her hand back.

"I-I'm sorry if I-I did something wrong-" Jules stuttered some words and tears formed in her eyes.

That was my fault.

"Jules, no. Stay" I finally found my voice. I carefully held Jules by the wrist. I felt elevations on her skin and had to restrain myself. There were so many scars

"Then talk to me," Jules spoke, this time in a firmer voice, before she freed her hand from my grip.

"My goodness, Jules. Don't you see anything? Don't you see how much I long for you? Don't you see how difficult it is for me when you look at me like that?" I couldn't help it, the words just came out of me. I couldn't help my voice getting louder either. "Every second I'm with you, I'm fighting for control. I don't know how to act. It's a struggle. I want to protect you, I want you by my side, I want to get through this with you running in the woods" I took a deep breath "I want you , Jules."

For half an eternity nobody spoke.

"I know your mate is loose out there. I know what he's capable of. But I can't help it."

Jules just stared at me.

"And I know I've had my chance at happiness before. But maybe this is the second chance. For both of us ."

Feelings of doubt and insecurity slowly visited me. Did I say something wrong? But I couldn't keep it to myself any longer.

"Jules-" before I could continue, Jules pressed her lips to mine.

Jules Pov

Jasper will kill me if he doesn't already. My life against Jaspers. I would never take it if Jasper died because of me. My parents died because of me, as did my whole pack. A pain that will never go away.

The nightmares made sure of that .

Jasper's words were still ringing in my head " I want you Jules ." And I wanted Jasper, denying it was no use. I also didn't want to lie to myself anymore.

Jasper would never let me turn myself in. But I saw through it. It was a voice threat the whole time and if I was right he would be waiting for me again today at 10pm.

Clearing in the forest, 10 p.m.

come alone

-J

I would come alone Jasper wouldn't realize I was gone until tomorrow.

My fingers brushed my lips, reminding me of Jasper's touch. His hands, his lips. I didn't know touch could feel like this when it was meant to be.

I shook off the thoughts and buried my hands in my jacket pockets. How far away was this clearing? Not that Jasper woke up sooner. He would see through me.

My heart clenched at the thought of what he must be feeling when he realizes that I was gone.

It was right. He shouldn't give his life for mine.

" I want you, Jules ."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and quickened my steps. I just had to get this over with.

A life will end today and I pray that I will see Jasper again. Can feel his lips again. Hear him say my name again.

The further I went into the forest, the quieter it became. He was here . As if on command, my wolf answered. However, something had changed. He no longer longed for him. My wolf was scared .

I kept walking straight with my head held high and I knew I was going to bump into him.

"You smell like him," someone growled out of the dark before I felt two hands around my neck, pressing me against a tree with ease. "Bitch" he growled while increasing the pressure.

He would not kill me .

"I'm here, that's what you wanted," I gasped as he dropped me. A pain emanating from my knees coursed through my body. I tried to get as much air into my lungs as possible, somehow trying to control my breathing. But it was a miserable attempt.

"I have to admit, you were never stupid," he replied as he pulled my head up by my hair. I stifled a cry before forced to return his gaze.

Eyes as black as the deepest darkness. Sent from hell personally.

"Sorry you're using Jasper as an excuse to lure me here," I said, trying to break free of his grip.

"But didn't it work?" he replied.

No matter how. Would it have worked? Possibility a I would have been so naive and really looked for Jasper here. Chances are I'll see through the trap and volunteer to protect Jasper.

"Just stupid that it will die anyway."

He studied my face and seemed distracted for a moment. I reached out with my right skin, but before I could even get near his face, he caught my fist and a crack followed.

"Jules, don't make me regret my words," he whispered with a grin that made my stomach churn. I've endured it for two years now, I would do it again.

"Fortunately your fighting spirit is still there. I always had the most fun when you fought back," he whispered before pulling me close to his chest. "When you were screaming, begging me to stop."

His fingers stroke my face, forcing me to keep looking into his eyes.

"I hate you" I replied. "I rejected you, I don't owe you anything anymore. You abused me."

A low growl escaped his throat, paralyzing me. Nothing good ever followed his growl.

"I only smell him," he growled as he began ripping my clothes off. The cold air settled directly around the bare spots.

Finally something woke up in me and I tried to defend myself. I thrashed, tried to kick.

But before I knew it, my head encountered something hard. a tree . My vision blurred and I felt a darkness pull at me. But I fought against it. If I lost consciousness now, that would have been it. Then I would never be able to stand in a forest at all again.

With my left hand I felt the small knife I had taken from Jasper's kitchen. I breathed deeply in and out. I only had one try.

him or me .

"You need me," I gasped trying to get up. "Without me there will be no offspring for you. And for that I have to be healthy."

I tried to swallow the pain down. I pictured Jasper watching me when I thought I wasn't noticing. How he tries to suppress a smile.

I pictured Carter introducing his mate to me.

I pictured Clarisse bringing me new clothes and telling me stories about my parents.

my parents . You didn't die for me to die now.

"You've changed," he said with a distaste that for some reason gave me renewed strength. "Your scars have faded. I think I need to change that."

I wouldn't go without a fight anymore.

"Try it," I challenged him. I remembered all those months of training with Jasper, showing me how to move. How I faked, how I dodged.

I had to make him angry, he wasn't focused when he was angry.

"Or are you afraid that some emotions would hold you back? That I mean something to you."

He just snorted and shook his head.

"Bitch" he just hissed.

"Do you know what Jasper did to me?" I asked with a grin. "Where his hands were all his lips."

His shoulders trembled and he came dangerously close to me. But not close enough.

"And you know what? I liked it. Every single second, I didn't even fight back. He was in complete control of my body."

"Apparently you can't get your mouth full enough, whore," he growled at me before pushing me against a tree again. My head banged hard against the trunk and stars danced overhead for a moment. fuck . I felt something warm running down my neck. "I gave you everything and you fuck every wolf that passed by."

His hands found their way to my neck again.

Now or never.

I swung my right hand and, as expected, he caught my fist with no problem.

One hand around my neck, another around my fist.

A deep laugh escaped his throat

"Didn't we just have that?"

With the last of my strength, I grabbed the knife in my left hand and drew back. It was stuck in his throat.

His laughter turned into a cough, a gasp. Blood spurted from his mouth.

He would not survive this injury.

"Bitch" he gasped, but he didn't let go of me. His grip weakened, but it was still too strong. I was also convinced that my right hand was broken.

"If I die, so will you," he gasped before slamming me into the tree with all his might. My head made an uncomfortable cracking sound and my body sagged.

Everything turned for a moment. Am I still standing? Am I already on the ground?

I watched him fall to the ground before I gave in to the darkness as well.