OPEN TALK

I was already confused and hurt to see him fight for life. But maybe, Nana was right, he needed to rest. I was just thinking that if he would leave me I didn’t know how I was going to deal with my life and how I was going to fight back.

Am I going to start a new life again?

Living alone.

I have been out of myself all day since I visited Charles yesterday especially the doctor told me that it would be better if I was by Charles' side because he could disappear any moment.

What if while I was working he was deprived of life while I was not by his side?

How can I say goodbye to him?

Pity him when that happens because I'm not by his side.

My tears immediately dripped and I immediately wiped away.

"Don't bring your personal problems in my office." I immediately adjusted myself when I heard Asher speak.

"Sorry." I apologized then picked up a paper in front of me.

"You just took a day off and you're crazy," he said but I ignored him. "If you can't balance your work and your personal problems, resign and pay off all your debts," he added.

"Asher." I softly call to him and slowly look at him. I saw his sharp eyes while looking at me.

"If I come back to you even if I have a child with someone else or got pregnant with someone, will you still accept me?" I ask.

He did not answer. I just saw him stand up and walk towards me. When he is in front of me, he touched my face and then squeezed.

"The thickness of your face if you do that. I'm still not a saint to pick up other people's shit. For what, to make me look like shit?" I expected him to answer this. "Why, did you disappear because that asshole makes you pregnant huh? Is he tired of feeding you so you want to come back with me?" he asked as he tightened his grip on my face. I shook one after another.

"We don't have children, I just asked." He let go of my face and sat down at my desk.

"Good, because your baby will be miserable if he has a mother like you. There will be no future and no good lessons can be learned because his mother is a slut and loves to fuck by many."

"I'm sorry if I asked," I said then looked at him.

"I don't care about your question same as I don't care about you anymore."

"I hope you forgive me." He smiled and then went down to the table.

"No, unless one of you is gone," he said then brought his face closer.

"When I die will you forgive me?" I see his eyes on fire. He gritted his teeth and it looks like anytime his hand will be landed on my face.

"I'd rather see him die so you will suffer," he replied without taking his eyes off me.

"It's the same because when he dies it's as if I've been killed." I saw him clench his fist so I smiled at him. "Don't worry because that will happen soon," I added.

He hits my desk and stood up and goes out into the office. I just feel relief when I am alone.

AFTER working hours I first went to the hypermarket to buy food. If only Charles' hospital was nearby I would even visit him every day. Even in the hospital, I will stay. But he’s away from me and each hour that passes equals my concern that I might never see him again.

I was walking towards the counter when a woman ran into me.

"Sorry." She apologized to me.

"It's okay, I'm sorry I didn't notice you." I also apologized to her.

"You're Ashley Lewis Miller, right?" she asked as she helped me pick up the cup noodles I dropped when she hit me.

"Yes, have we meet before?" I stared at the woman who was somewhat familiar to me or as if she resembled someone I knew.

"Someone wants to talk....."

"Ashley." I turned to the one who calls me and saw Eugene walking towards me.

"Oh, you're here too?" I asked him.

"Obviously," he replied then looked at the woman I had bumped into.

"We just bumped," I said then looked at the woman again. "What were you saying again?" I asked the woman.

"I am one of the volunteers for the activities of Happy Smile hospital then and that's where I met you."

"I see," I replied while nodding.

There were activities that the hospital used to do for promotion and sometimes there were free check-ups that were always done in the villages.

"I'm sorry again," she said then left. I followed the woman's gaze because if I am not mistaken, she said something else before Eugene came. Something like 'Someone wants to ........' Argh, I did not hear it clearly.

That's what I clearly heard that she didn't finish or maybe I heard it wrong.

"You're buying too much?" Eugene asked which caught my attention.

"Supply," I replied. "Are you shopping here too?"

"Sometimes, it's not crowded here,"

"Are you going to the counter?" I ask.

"Yup, you too?" I nodded in response. "Lady's first," he said as he held out his hands.

Once we went to the counter, I was the first to pay. When we both finished, he offered to take me home, which I did not refuse. We didn’t talk the whole trip until we arrived. he stopped in front of the gate but I didn't go down first. I didn't do anything inside because I also finished eating.

"Busy?" I asked him.

"Nah! Why?" he asked back.

"Can I talk for even ten minutes?" I asked again.

"Problem?" he also asked as I asked.

"Nah! I just don't want to go down first because it's boring inside and I also don't want to let you in because it's not okay inside yet." He laughed at what I said so he turned off the engine first.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" he asked.

"Anything, just open any topic as you like," I replied.

"You said, first are you sure you don't want to accept my offer to just live in Ley's house?" I shook my head and looked at the house where I was staying. "You persevere there while there are others who are more comfortable that you will not have difficulty." I looked at him and narrowed my eyes and pretended to be angry.

"You underestimating my house."

"Of course not! I just mean that Ley and I used to live is a way better for you because it's more comfortable." I laughed and then looked at the house again.

"It's still a house even it's not the same as where I grew. There is a bedroom, with kitchen, with living room, with bathroom, with a wall, with door, with window, and with a roof. It's good that I'm not wet in the rain, I'm not hot, I'm not being watched and I sleep peacefully at night." Then I looked at him. "How about those who just slept in the park, under the bridge, and in the cart."

"You're different from what you was Ashley. Though we're not so close I know that you are really very different from before based on how I know you." I just smiled at him.

"Everything has changed, the world is really spinning. Sometimes slow, often fast. You never know, you are lying peacefully on the soft mattress next to the person you love but you will suddenly wake up in the hard bed and you are alone." It's like I want to cry every time I remember what I went through.

"Ash." He softly calls my name.

"I'm ok, I'm just emoting so let me." I smile then I raised my two eyebrows. "Did you loved Hailey?" He arranged his seat and then opened the window.

"Will I take Ulysses as mine if I don't? But I don't regret it because I had an instant baby that made me so happy," he replied.

"Did you fall for Agatha?" He laughed at my question.

"I don't know, Agatha is fucking good in bed," he replied then laughed out loud. "Damn me, I am easy to fall, especially if it's yummy in bed." He says while laughing.

"So there a possibility that you will fall for me?" I also laugh at the question.

"Why, are you yummy?" he asked then looked at my boobs. "Ow, that squeezy and big."

“Crazy,” I said. "Why did you give up on Agatha?" I added.

"Did you really ask? You know that he is crazy over Vince just like you." I just smiled because of what he said. Because I really loved Vince at that time even though I knew he was just a fubu then and he loved Agatha more.

"I loved that asshole so much that wanted to consume all the women," I confess then look at him. "Just like you."

"Nah! I just caught his leftovers because he's stupid."

"How about Kyla?" He took a deep breath before answering.

"Yeah I did, but compared to Ley, Ley is heavier. Maybe because she is my wife." Then he looked at me. "You have a problem that you can't tell me." I simply smile at him.

"Everyone has a problem but I'm fine because there are those like you who are willing to listen to my rants."

"Are you sure," he replied.

"Yup, ok, you can go now, I wasted too much of your time, thanks for listening." He nodded and I opened the door.

“I’m just here,” he said.

"I know and thank you, Euge,"

I waited for Eugene's car to go before entering the house. I was surprised when I turned the knob because it was open. That means something has already entered.

But who?

I look around because maybe a bad guy broke into the house. I would have called Eugene but I forgot that I didn't have his number.

Damn! I didn’t even get it.

No matter, I can't just be out here and wait for the morning.

Nervously I slowly opened the door. When it finally opened I was surprised who the person had entered. I was even more nervous because I could see how he looked now.

He is anger and it looks like he wants to eat me alive.