in denial

I glanced back to the balcony part of the club where Femella was standing earlier. I still caught the sight of her sexy back before she completely disappeared into the darkness. I bet she's getting ready for the bidding later.

I drank the liquor in my glass in one gulp. Here comes this very familiar feeling again every time I see Femella lingering around. The emotion is too strong I am certain that I have never felt this way to other women. Not until I saw her one day sitting inside one of the glasses looking like a broken doll in her signature stoic cold face. It's precisely why I bid for her that night. She instantly caught my attention like no other people in my life has ever done. The feeling of longing, sadness, and nostalgia hovered around me when I caught a glimpse of her face.

And why does she make me feel so warm inside? As if I can only feel this weird emotion whenever she’s around. If only she accepted my offer, then I don't have to keep on guessing. My curiosity and desire for her will be answered the moment I'm done with her. It is just regretful that she did not welcome my hearty arrangement. That could have ended this unnamed feeling I am having right now.

It is still just a question in the air for me when the boss of the club cannot seem to do anything when Femella refused me out rightly. She just shook her head and closed the glass door.

Damn that woman for rejecting my offer.

"Dude, you’re shooting lasers. You got any problem?" Cholo asked when he noticed my uncanny silence. He pressed the end of the cigarette into the ash tray, leaned on the chair, and threw me a look.

"He’s just having tantrums because he just got dumped by Femella in his face. That girl even had the gall to slap him right infront of everybody during last month's bidding. If only you were here, you could have seen the look on his face after that resounding slap is priceless. The best! The first I saw in ages that a girl rejected him," Luther teased me.

"Whoa, man! That was unexpected! What a missed opportunity to record it. I could have seen that explosive spectacle!"

"Oh shut up, you two! She was just putting an act. Maybe she wanted me to raise my bid for her. She must be thinking I would pour more money on her but I'm not buying it. She's not even special. What makes her different from the other girls here? There are far prettier and sexier girls than her," I sneered.

The shame I felt when she slapped me in front of everybody is still fresh in my mind. The feel of her smooth hand on my face still lingers in my memory. The way it leaves soft tingly emotion in my being up until now just added to my annoyance.

"But damn, man. That girl is really a bomb. If only I have a different preference when it comes to the kind of women I went to bed with, then I could have bid for her, too. I just don’t really like virgins. They are a pain in the ass. They are far more emotional in the morning. I hate drama," Luther added and reached for a bottle on the table and poured at his glass.

"Come to think of it, Maverick never liked virgins even we were in college. What happened now?" Cholo asked me curiously.

I grimaced at his question. "Are we really talking about my preference of women here? Did I ask why you prefer exhibitionist?" I asked him back.

"I like adventurous women in my bed, man. I liked to be dominated sometimes. I want my lady to be giving me the same pleasure as what I'm giving her. Everything is fair in love and in bed." He laughed tauntingly.

"I see you still have hang-ups for Karina." I smiled to myself when I got the kind of reaction I wanted from him. Someone is still living in the past, I see. His face became dark and foreboding while drinking the liquor from the bottle itself.

"You hit a sensitive nerve, Maverick," Luther reminded me.

I shrugged my shoulders. "So does he."

Cholo cleared his throat. "Karina was never a sensitive spot for me. At least, she never did reject me just like how Femella did to you." It's his turn to flash those annoying smile.

I gritted my teeth.

"Woah, man. We're not here to fight. We're here to enjoy the night. You guys just chill," Luther said to stop our bickering.

I heaved out a sigh to control my temper. I know how bad would it go if I didn't rein my emotions. "No, I'm good man."

"I'm alright," Cholo assured us.

I gulped at my glass. I glanced impatiently at the small elevated stage in the center of the club. I’m getting quite impatient at the start of the bidding. I want someone novice tonight who could quench my lust and so much more. I can't wait to get my hands into someone who is deliciously beautiful, inexperienced, and timid. An image of the girl floated in my mind. No, not her. She is definitely beautiful, inexperienced but she is no timid. The woman in my head is feisty in a very strong way. I don't like her types. I prefer submissive women in my bed.

Another moment passed before the lights concentrated at the center stage of La Vida club. The spot lights became dimmed and the flirty music filled the air.

My temperature rose up. The thought of another pure woman to warm my bed tonight turns me on instantly.

"The show's about to start. May the best bidder win, gentlemen." Cholo stood up first who is then followed by Luther.

I stayed in my seat and opened up another bottle. I raised it at their direction.

"Enjoy your turn. My favorite installment will be on the last minute. The best part of this show is indeed in the last part.”

The two just laughed before they left me to drink by myself. Those scumbags. They are too soft for a fuck. I tilted my glass and drank it one full fashion. The bitter burning taste traveled down from my mouth down to my stomach where it created a nice calming effect to help my nerves calm down for a bit. I stared at the little clear residue in the glass.

"You're so clear yet you make one's mind cloudy."

Sill holding the glass on my hand, I glanced at the part of the club where I saw the woman earlier. I was hoping to see her again to my amazement. When did I become like this especially to a woman like her? And most importantly, when did a woman spelled trouble in my whole life?

The balcony's empty. The woman is also not in sight. I sighed.

No matter how hard I try to tell myself that I am not affected with her, but the glaring truth that something deep within me has been awaken by the feisty woman is keeping my nights occupied. It's not just pride or my macho bravado. I don't know what do I call this strange feeling because it's the first time I'm feeling this. And it's not love at first sight and all that cheesy things woman believes. I know it's deeper than that.

"Just what the heck are you doing with me, woman."