no forgiveness

I had high hopes for tonight after spotting her in the crowd. I missed her. I wanted to go to her that instant and kissed her senseless. One week of being away from her is pure hell. I can barely concentrate.

If I hadn’t forced myself to finish a week’s stay in Japan, I might have just flown in a jiffy and decided to go home. Cahil’s presence didn’t help either. She’s just there to obviously annoy me all the time.

She would always tease me about the girl in my lockscreen. I saved Femella’s picture from my other phone to make it my lockscreen. Since discovering it, she’s been nagging me to meet the girl who she said to be ‘the one’ for me.

Femella just happened to be here. I planned all along to go to her apartment after I checked the event. The Asturia matriarch requested my presence for tonight. She is a dear friend of my mother so I was kind of forced.

I also respect Cahil who has been my friend and childhood friend for a long time. But after what I found out tonight from Femella, it seems impossible to think that my plans will happen for the two of us.

The only woman I have dotted this way turned out to be a great pretender, a liar and an actress.

“Please be honest with me, Femella. Why did you come here? Is it really for me? How did you know that I’ll be here? Don’t lie. Be honest to me.”

My blood was dripping on the carpet but I didn’t care. I need to get this over now.

She averted her gaze from me before clenching her fists and stood up to face me. Her eyes were wet with tears. I wanted to reach for her and wipe them but my anger prevailed.

“I came here not for you. I came here for another person. But then I saw you and I thought to myself, maybe you can help me.”

My jaws clenched as I stared at the woman I deeply cared about. Her hair was still wet and her eyes feigned courage.

“I had you investigated. Nothing came out that will connect you to my past. Stop fooling me, Femella. Go out before I call the security.”

I turned around but she held me by my arm. I shook it away and faced her.

“No.” She shook her head in panic. “No.”

She got down on her knees, tears spilling down her cheeks. She lifted the blushing face to me then let out the words I never thought she could say.

“Will you marry me, Maverick Fuentebella? Please?”

I looked down at her, unable to say a single word. I was beyond shocked to see her like this.

“You are the perfect one to protect me. Your name after mine is a security code no one would want to crack. Mr. Maverick Fuentebella, will you marry me? P-Please?” she repeated.

Her trembling desperate voice unnerved me. She touched my toes with her cold shaking fingers while staring up at me.

I could no longer restrain myself and held her in my arms to make her stand up. I can’t bear to see her lowering herself this way. She is the strong head-on Femella I admired. She’s not like this.

She cupped my face.

“I know about your past, Mav. I can give you the answers to your questions. Only then will I let you go, Maverick. Help me and I will disappear from your sight for good. Please.”

I did not answer. I just stared at her face as I held her trembling body.

“If you help me now, I will be laying naked right before you. I’ll be exposed to you but I don’t care. Honestly, I don’t care anymore. I Just want to secure her so I can free myself from these chains.”

“You’re asking for too much. I wouldn’t want to do anything with that past. Nothing.”

I let go of her and started walking towards the bathroom.

“Liar. We both know you wanted so bad to know the whole truth about what happened that night. You are wishing to remember everything. I saw how far and wide you looked for clues. Back at the island, I lay awake every dawn hugging you tight because of your nightmares.”

“Shut up! You’re giving yourself too much credit. I will know it on my own. I will remember it on my own without the help of a liar like you. How low of you to use this against me to feed your agenda.” I paused to stop myself from looking at her. “I will never let someone like you change the way I have been living my life. Leave. I wouldn’t want to do anything with you.”

“But I can give you your peace of mind, Mav. You will not have nightmares. You will not be searching for anyone from your past to tell you the truth. You will be whole again,” she convinced me.

“How can I have that peace of mind you’re talking about if you will entangle me with those murderers? And also, I don’t believe in you. Get out.”

“O-okay.” Her voice again broke into sobs. “I get you. I-im sorry…I’m sorry for not telling you earlier. If… if after a while, you decided to think it over, you can contact me. Forget that I asked for your help. I’m still willing to tell you the truth I’ve deprived you for how many years.”

I heard the door open and close. She’s gone. For good. And I wouldn’t want to do anything with her anymore. Instead of continuing to go to the bathroom, I changed my mind and headed to the mini bar of my unit. I poured wine into the glass and gulped it. Bottoms up.

I looked at the couch where we’ve been earlier drunken with passion and desire. Her gown and purse were on the floor together with my clothes.

I sighed and drank another gulp. Who cares if she left her purse? She’s not my responsibility anymore.

“Right but what if she doesn’t have any money with her? Damn.”

I went back to the room in a hurry and picked up the cellphone. I called the security panel of the hotel.

“Good evening Mr. Fuentebella.” Jex answered right away.

“I had my female guest leave my unit just now. She’s wearing a white shirt. Escort her home.”

“Copy, sir.”

I ended the call and went out to go back into drinking. She had my night punched out. Who knows Femella has known me ever since? Who knows if she’s telling me the truth or not?

Did I just fall into her trap? What if this is just another of her acts?

But regardless if she’s telling the truth or not, I can’t help her on her own terms.

I ended the call and went out to go back to drinking.

I looked at the tall buildings outside. This side of the world here is so lively and colorful but I felt nothing. I did not feel the usual peace of mind every time I looked out into the beauty of the city skyline. My head is heavy with thoughts.

“There’s a missing link to all of these.”

My cell phone rang. It’s Jex.

“Yes.”

“Sir, your guest was with a man just now. They’re in a lobby. How do I proceed, sir?”

I froze. My mind was debating whether to just let it go or not and go after her. In the end, I still couldn’t stand the thought of another man beside Femella.

I muttered a curse under my breath. Damn you Fem for making me this weak.

“Be alert. Don’t let him get my guest inside the car. I’ll go down now.”

I ran back to the room and grabbed a t-shirt then ran out to the elevator. I walked out in a parking lot where Femella and a tall petite man were being held by my bodyguards. Their backs turned on me and the man was discussing something with Jex.

I interrupted the commotion and faced the man who was only a few inches taller than me. He looks so young but his eyes are too cunning for me. I should know because this is the face of Butch every time he tricked me into doing something when we were teenagers.

I looked at Femella who was shocked to see me but she also immediately averted her gaze. Her eyes are so red from all the crying. I fought the urge to hug her and tell her it’ll be alright, that I’ll make it alright. It’s over between us now.

“Thank you, Jex. Go back to your post,” I said while not taking my eyes off the man who now had a strange smile in the corner of his mouth.

I don’t like his guts. And I don’t like the way he holds Femella’s arm.

“Yes, sir.”

Jex left with the five other bodyguards. Three were left nearby to watch over me. The man temporarily backed out from our staring fight to help Femella get into the back of the car. As if in reflex, I immediately came forward to stop him but he tactically got in my way. He blocked his body on the car seat and looked at me seriously.

“Not this time, Mr. Fuentebella. Let the woman breathe first. I don’t know what happened but did you know it’s unmanly to make a woman cry?” He grinned. “It’s in the number one list of being a gentleman.”

“Get out of my way, kid.”

We stood there just staring at each other. I think I have developed a particular dislike of this kid. I don’t like the way he said my name. He seemed to know things about me. I don’t like the intelligence in his eyes as if he knows things more than me.

He giggled when he looked down at my bloody hand.

“I think you should do something about your hand, dude. Treat your wound, man. Let us through. I can assure you that Femella is safe with me. For one, I don’t make girls cry.”

My face got grimmer and my lips thinned into anger.

“You better be. I will know if you drive her home safely. If you don’t, just hide somewhere, kid and you better hide effectively or else.”

I emphasized my last word to make a point. It looks like he got what I meant because he just smiled and nodded. I got the urge to hit his face but I held back.

“I think we’re done here.”

He carefully closed the door and went to the driver’s seat. He even saluted me before opening the door and then maneuvering the car away.

I stood there still stuck in Femella’s image. I sighed after remembering her swollen face. Afterwards, I waved at the bodyguards who immediately approached me.

“Follow them. Make sure he gets my girl home,” I ordered.

“Yes, sir.”

I turned and headed for the stairs. Maybe I could go to my gym to ease this tension in my muscles.