Your Fault

Alex Pov's

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I wiped my tears and went to her. She looked at me and then bowed her eyes. I sat in front of her and cupped her face.

"I'm sorry" she mumbled.

"You don't need to be… It's okay" I said and pulled her into a hug then made her sit on my lap.

"I really want that. I wanted to feel you." She said holding my shirt in her fist like a baby. She always clutched my shirt while crying. I moved my hand on her back smoothly to calm her.

"I wanted to feel you… I want you in the same way you want me but"

"It's okay baby."

"No... It's not okay" She frowned. "I was trying," She yelled. I look at her confusingly. She rested her head on my chest while crying.

"I can't explain how good I was feeling when you touched me… It was giving me goosebumps and a tingling sensation at the same time… I loved it." She said with a small smile on her face. I sighed and smiled, after knowing she liked our intimacy. She was not feeling uncomfortable.

"When you opened my bra, all of sudden I started remembering whatever Richard and Andrew did to me." She turned her head towards me.

"Believe me, Alex, I tried… I tried my best to control and restrain myself to think about the past but I failed. The way Richard used to bite my skin, he always made me bleed and Andrew, he burned me there with his cigarette" She started shivering. I pulled her closer to my chest, leaving no space for air.

"Sano"

She looked at me and then held my hand.

"I was repeating your name in my mind, trying to stabilise myself. When you kissed me there, I got frightened." She said and then wiped her tears.

"I'm sorry Alex… I tried to prepare myself for the pain"

"Pain?" I scrunched my eyebrow.

"I told you before also. You men took it as a pleasurable experience but it is painful for us. I wanted to make you feel special the way you always make me feel and believe me I was not feeling uncomfortable. Strangely it was feeling so good but then my past haunted me. I'm sorry"

"It's okay," I said, not able to understand what I should say. She faces so much in her life. No matter how much I say, the physical abuse she faced will always be there in her mind, she will always get scared with the name of Sex, until she gives me a chance to prove her wrong.

"I'm sorry, Alex"

"You don't need to be Sana... It's not your fault"

"you have your needs and you were so aroused but because of" I put my finger on her lips.

"I said it's okay baby… Don't think about it." I said and wiped her tears lovingly.

Don't know till when we stay like that, in each other arms. It feels so good to stay like this with her. I look at her face. She was sleeping like a baby in my arms. I picked her up in my arms and made her lay down on the bed.

"I'm sorry" she mumbled in her sleep. I said beside her and wiped the tears from the corner of her eyes. A tear rolled from my eyes seeing her like this. She wanted to be with me but her past filled so much fear in her and above that Andrew wanted to kill her.

"Please moon goddess help me... I don't want to lose her '' I prayed in my mind and wiped my tears. I started remembering the afternoon incident when someone tried to kill her, thanks to Sam who saved my girl.

I lay down beside her and started thinking about everything that happened till now and my mind stuck at the point when she confessed in front of me that she was in depression when she was a child and then I remember her having panic attacks. I picked up my mobile from the side table and search about panic attacks on go***gle

"As with many mental health conditions, the exact cause of panic disorder is not fully understood. But it's thought to be linked to a combination of things, including: a traumatic or very stressful life experience, such as bereavement." I read the first thing that appeared. I sighed and looked at my girl who had faced so much in her life. I started reading every detail and from there I came to know only one thing: she needs to share her feelings with someone and it will take lots of time for her to accommodate her past.

I kept my phone back on the table and pulled her closer to me. She smiled in her sleep and kept her head on my chest. I have to keep her happy as much as I can and also keep her out of all the mess. I was looking at her face which was giving me strange relief then I don't know when darkness consumed me...

.

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Sana Pov's

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I woke up after a nap of two hours. I was about to get up from bed but one hand restrained me. I look at my side. Alex was sleeping beside me, holding me in his arms. A smile came on my face. He looks so cute while sleeping.

I turned completely towards him and kept my one hand on his cheeks lovingly staring at him. A tear rolled from my eyes remembering the afternoon incident. I wanted to take our relationship to the next step but my fear overtook me.

"I'm sorry" I whispered and that's when he opened his eyes. Before I could remove my hand from her cheek, he held it and then kissed my palm.

"How many times do I have to tell you it's not your fault? You don't need to say sorry" he mumbled and pulled me closer.

I felt his shirt on my bare chest and that's when I realised I'm naked. I lifted the blanket to confirm and my eyes widened as I was lying naked beside him. The knot of my towel got opened accidentally. I covered myself with a blanket where he started laughing looking at my reaction. My whole face turned red because of embarrassment.

"You look so cute when you blush," He said, pulling my cheeks.

"You" I glared at him angrily. He stopped laughing and kissed my cheeks bringing a smile to my face. He moved his hand on my back. I closed my eyes, feeling his touch.

"Open your eyes baby," He said and I followed his command. "Only look at me when I touch you," He said.

"Okay?" he asked. I nodded my head and started looking at him. He came over to me and kissed my forehead and then my nose.

"I can't wait to taste my sweet," he said and finally attached his lips to mine.

"umm," I moaned in his mouth when I felt his hand on the blossom pressing them, driving me crazy. He parted my legs and came between them. I felt his hard member poking me there. He parted away from my lips when I became out of breath.

"Alex" I moaned loudly his name when he pinched my nipple making it harder. I can't explain how amazing this felt. I was drowning in a pool of pleasure. He started placing soft kisses from my jaw to my cleavage and stopped in mid. He looked at my face.

I nod my head with a smile telling him to proceed. I was looking at him as he said and the moment I felt his tongue licking the tip of my nipple. I moaned his name louder than before. He was pressing and sucking them harder.

"Ohh god" I moaned and pressed his head harder. He moved his hand to my south part and my breath hitched.

"Alex" he stopped his moment and looked at me. I gulped in nervousness. He smiled and kissed my forehead then my lips. I close my eyes. I was lost in kissing him until I felt his fingers caressing my fold.

"Alex" I parted away from his lips and moaned his name when I felt him circling my clit. He kissed my forehand. Suddenly he stopped moving his fingers. I opened my eyes and looked at him frustratingly.

"Keep your eyes open and look at me," he said and started sucking my earlobe and continued the work he was doing before.

"You're wet for me, Sano, and I love the way your body is reacting to my touch," He said and inserted two digits into my hole.

"Alex" I moaned louder and moved my hips to match his rhythm. He inserts another digit and keeps moving in and out.

"Ohh.. fuck.. Alex" I moaned louder. I never felt this amazing. It was so good and soon I was near my climax.

"You're so fucking tight… I can feel you're close" He said and sucked my lips, at the same time he pressed my clit with his thumb.

"Come for me, baby... come," he said and my body immediately reacted to his command. I came on his hand. He took out his finger from my vagina lips and sucked them. My legs were shaking as I came from so high.

"Ohh… I never thought" I took a deep breath… "I never thought that it would feel this amazing," I said. He smiled and joined his forehead with mine.

"I love you, Sano," he said and kissed my lips. I too respond to him with the same passion, desire, and love. I pulled him closer to me, leaving no space for air.